Hello Everyone I'm 24 years of age, I'm a manager at a telco, I love to
read and write fantasy books, and I have Bipolar type 1, OCD and PTSD.
Rewind back 8 years ago and uttering that last sentence would be
horrific. I feel no shame anymore. Its har...
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Hello Everyone I'm 24 years of age, I'm a manager at a telco, I love to
read and write fantasy books, and I have Bipolar type 1, OCD and PTSD.
Rewind back 8 years ago and uttering that last sentence would be
horrific. I feel no shame anymore. Its hard, and life altering but I
always look for the silverlining. Like many people living with PTSD
diagnosis is the easy part, treating it and facing it is the hard part.
To cut a very long and gruesome story short, my Mum is diagnosed Bipolar
Type 1 (wonder where I get it from haha) she suffered a lot of domestic
abuse and left my Dad (aka the catalyst) when I was 5 years old, I don't
blame her for that, if she'd stayed she would of comitted suicide, she
had her own long journey to follow, and she's now my greatest friend. My
dad is a controlling, manipulative and abusive man. My whole life was
emotional and mental abuse, his goal to isolate and dominate. My first
panic attacks started to happen when most kids go to their first slumber
party. I cleaned and cooked as soon as I could reach the benchtop
(inclusive of a little red chair to stand upon). The house was covered
in plastic, plastic couch (that we couldn't even sit on) plastic walk
ways so we couldn't touch the carpet, one wrong step and all hell would
break loose. But I loved him, he was all we had, for better or for
worse. And each day it got worse. When I was 15 my brother left for the
Navy and the sexual assault started.It went like that for 2 years, each
time after I fought back he'd make me apologise for making him feel like
a pedophile, so I stopped fighting, it felt better then having to
apologise. I went to to get diagnosed when I was 20, I no longer wanted
to be a victim, I wanted to be a hero. So I fought, through mania and
depression and med side effects, I was doing better. I would never be
cured but I could handle it, I had handled worse. PTSD started at age
22, it'd been years since he'd touched me (he'd gotten remarried) I
lived out of home with my boyfriend, I thought I was safe. But the
nightmares and flashbacks came anyway. So I fought, I confronted my Dad
and I tried to reassemble my life again and I have, it's still a battle
day every day but its worth it, I get to see my boyfriends loving smile,
my brother engaged with two beautiful kids of his own, lifes worth it.
So next time you wake up in the middle of the night covered in sweat,
take the images you saw, write them down, and recreate your own story,
slay the beast!