PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Charleey (Trigger Warning) Upcoming Trial is sending PTSD in overdrive
  • replies: 1

In September 2015 I was the Victim in an Assault with an illegal weapon and Detainment case. The defendant is my Ex- partner of 9 years to whom I was at the time 12 weeks pregnant. He was arrested and placed in prison, I miscarried the baby. By Chris... View more

In September 2015 I was the Victim in an Assault with an illegal weapon and Detainment case. The defendant is my Ex- partner of 9 years to whom I was at the time 12 weeks pregnant. He was arrested and placed in prison, I miscarried the baby. By Christmas he was out on bail. We have had no contact since this time. Fast forward to now he is living locally to me ( against bail conditions) with his new partner who is having his baby. The people around him believe me to be a liar despite there being enough evidence for the case to have been committed to trial ( DNA etc). Since his release My Ex-partner has taken out Credit Cards and Bank Accounts in my name, the police could not prove it was him. Since the assault happened I have done everything I can to try to move on with my life, I have completed two courses and am currently completing another. In spite of all this, the trial is coming up this year and I find myself suffering panic attacks and depression similar to those I suffered in the weeks after the Assault. I feel like a complete failure while he is living happily with his new partner and child. Can anybody offer any advice on how I can cope with all of this?

Amia Hope for warriors with PTSD
  • replies: 14

Hello Everyone I'm 24 years of age, I'm a manager at a telco, I love to read and write fantasy books, and I have Bipolar type 1, OCD and PTSD. Rewind back 8 years ago and uttering that last sentence would be horrific. I feel no shame anymore. Its har... View more

Hello Everyone I'm 24 years of age, I'm a manager at a telco, I love to read and write fantasy books, and I have Bipolar type 1, OCD and PTSD. Rewind back 8 years ago and uttering that last sentence would be horrific. I feel no shame anymore. Its hard, and life altering but I always look for the silverlining. Like many people living with PTSD diagnosis is the easy part, treating it and facing it is the hard part. To cut a very long and gruesome story short, my Mum is diagnosed Bipolar Type 1 (wonder where I get it from haha) she suffered a lot of domestic abuse and left my Dad (aka the catalyst) when I was 5 years old, I don't blame her for that, if she'd stayed she would of comitted suicide, she had her own long journey to follow, and she's now my greatest friend. My dad is a controlling, manipulative and abusive man. My whole life was emotional and mental abuse, his goal to isolate and dominate. My first panic attacks started to happen when most kids go to their first slumber party. I cleaned and cooked as soon as I could reach the benchtop (inclusive of a little red chair to stand upon). The house was covered in plastic, plastic couch (that we couldn't even sit on) plastic walk ways so we couldn't touch the carpet, one wrong step and all hell would break loose. But I loved him, he was all we had, for better or for worse. And each day it got worse. When I was 15 my brother left for the Navy and the sexual assault started.It went like that for 2 years, each time after I fought back he'd make me apologise for making him feel like a pedophile, so I stopped fighting, it felt better then having to apologise. I went to to get diagnosed when I was 20, I no longer wanted to be a victim, I wanted to be a hero. So I fought, through mania and depression and med side effects, I was doing better. I would never be cured but I could handle it, I had handled worse. PTSD started at age 22, it'd been years since he'd touched me (he'd gotten remarried) I lived out of home with my boyfriend, I thought I was safe. But the nightmares and flashbacks came anyway. So I fought, I confronted my Dad and I tried to reassemble my life again and I have, it's still a battle day every day but its worth it, I get to see my boyfriends loving smile, my brother engaged with two beautiful kids of his own, lifes worth it. So next time you wake up in the middle of the night covered in sweat, take the images you saw, write them down, and recreate your own story, slay the beast!

star89 Stressful times with PTSD, Isolation, Chronic Illness, Domestic Violence, Harassment
  • replies: 3

Hello there, I have found myself in an challenging and uncomfortable position. I was diagnosed years ago with chronic fatigue, social anxiety, panic disorder and reoccurring PTSD (from childhood). I have always been able to fight on through the downt... View more

Hello there, I have found myself in an challenging and uncomfortable position. I was diagnosed years ago with chronic fatigue, social anxiety, panic disorder and reoccurring PTSD (from childhood). I have always been able to fight on through the downtimes with a smile on my face. After various tremulousness years, dealing with domestic violence from my former long term partner and him being a lead social activist for political causes has caused me to further isolate and feel ostracized from the community. I was getting on my feet again, and it all tumbled down before me when I lost my job, became harassed and stalked online and in person by a love obsessed acquaintance (I had previously helped through hardships), and the new man I was dating becoming involved in an hit and run suffering months in a coma resulting in traumatic brain injuries and a vegetative state. During this time I had no support or any means to speak too anyone about this as the stalking I was dealing with limited my access for help, and thus overtime enhancing the feelings of separation. I applied for centrelink disability services and was rejected on the grounds my conditions are not stablized though have been told I have a reduced capacity to work. Now my situation is that place in which I am living is being sold, I have been renting in for a time. The stress with finding a new place to move, on top of working out how to seek help for my other issues is causing problems. For today they are holding an open house and I cannot move due too chronic fatigue flair up, last time they held one I pushed my body in making sure I had everything organized and leaving the house (which was huge for me) and spent days after recovering. I have been trying to reach out to see a therapist who can initially do skype sessions and work my way into face to face, improving my diet and finding new group of friends whom share common interests and have no connection to my ex. I thought to write here as a means to voice what has been happening and seek validation and support also, as I have been scrolled through people's stories and felt that compassion. My goal is to be able too recover as best to my ability and to be able to do the things I have missed for so long. Thank you for listening. xx

CJs_mum Heartfelt condolences to the families, friends and loved ones of those who died on Australia Day trying to entertain us
  • replies: 1

Hi, just wanted to post up here my heart goes out to all those affected by the deaths of the pilot and their passenger while entertaining us lot on the bank. It was such a sad circumstance - such a tragic loss. How people were unable to pull them out... View more

Hi, just wanted to post up here my heart goes out to all those affected by the deaths of the pilot and their passenger while entertaining us lot on the bank. It was such a sad circumstance - such a tragic loss. How people were unable to pull them out quick enough is still baffling and must be confusing to their families. Love and hope out to them. Please seek help - on here and through guidance and counselling, talking and ensuring good support is around you. To those who saw the plane crash on the Swan River in Perth on Australia Day, young and old, please talk about it - get some counselling even- and try to ensure you live a good life for yourselves and your families and friends. Don't let their lives be a waste and be a tragedy- celebrate everything that is good about life and living it to the full, no matter what. Love to all x Peace

Sam2 tired of looking back
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I have been suffering with PTSD for a year now and I recently had a relapse of Sycosis, even thought the meds kinda work it does stop this talkative mind, and it seems to say things that I don't wanna hear I have tried not talking back t... View more

Hi everyone, I have been suffering with PTSD for a year now and I recently had a relapse of Sycosis, even thought the meds kinda work it does stop this talkative mind, and it seems to say things that I don't wanna hear I have tried not talking back to it but its hard, I feel like I am being controlled by someone and I think its a guy who is answering yes or no by tilting my head and it is most annoying and disturbing, I have ask it to leave and they wont and the moment I as him to leave I go backward say nasty thing in my mind. and even when I talk about treatment or the kind of treatment I want I seem to go backwards/ or I think I am being fake which I ashore you I'm not, I say the same recurring words in my mind and I am sick of it, some days I don't even wanna wake up as it goes all day long, and then if I have a bad dream the night before I am really bad the next day, I try to keep my self busy but i cant even concentrate on what i am doing, as its chatter chatter chatter. ive tried to teach myself CBT and Mindfullness techneacs but it only last a little while before if gets turned into a negative and then when i want to teach my self cbt all the old horrifying words that i had long gotten ride of come back it.

pinkroses Today I ended my emotionally abusive relationship
  • replies: 18

What next? Im shaking & scared. Im at my mums & I have told her. I was brave and told him this morning it isn't okay how he treats e.g. today he is going alone to a girls house to drink. I said that's not okay as he won't tell me where it is and when... View more

What next? Im shaking & scared. Im at my mums & I have told her. I was brave and told him this morning it isn't okay how he treats e.g. today he is going alone to a girls house to drink. I said that's not okay as he won't tell me where it is and when he will be back. He said I'm a skitzo & other things. I know people that haven't read my past post may think I didn't do the right thing however he does this often. who knows what he does with other people behind my back. Not too sure what else to write right now.

Noidentity Scared to be me my husband is verbally abusive
  • replies: 4

How do I find me again, my husband and I have been together for 7 years and it's never been easy. It wasn't until a year in that I realised he had a drinking problem. He drinks five or six days a week. It's something he says he wants to change but al... View more

How do I find me again, my husband and I have been together for 7 years and it's never been easy. It wasn't until a year in that I realised he had a drinking problem. He drinks five or six days a week. It's something he says he wants to change but all he does is become more secretive about alcohol. He verbally abuses me for hours when he's had too much or if he hasn't had enough. He stores a head full of things and puts me down and speaks to me like crap. I'm believing everything he has said about me now and I don't know what to do. I'm not perfect but I was comfortable with myself before we met, he's not an attentive husband or father he tries really hard when he's feeling guilty then uses that against me. My five year old now asks him to not yell at mum and if he's having more drinks, I think I should have left already but I love the focused him. I now have no one , I have cut myself off from the world and feel useless he criticises the way I am around his friends and tells me I f@&$)d up my kids. Always personal, I can't take anymore but I don't know if I can rise above and move on. Or am I more to blame than I realise. This is my second Marriage he keeps reminding me of that. He says there is no such thing as abuse because he has never laid a hand on me. Although he has threatened to break every bone in my body. I kicked a bedroom door down in panic one night during an argument as he was holding my one year old and screaming at me and he locked himself in the room with him, I just wanted my baby back. He uses that against me now all the time. My older kids don't respect him anymore Someone please help me find my inner strength and guide me to know what to do

Miseryguts Does talking really help?
  • replies: 10

Hi... I've seen a therapist once in my life, spent an hour with her then time was up and I walked out feeling bruised and battered. Like an open wound she'd forgotten to sew closed before she sent me back in to the world. I never went back. That was ... View more

Hi... I've seen a therapist once in my life, spent an hour with her then time was up and I walked out feeling bruised and battered. Like an open wound she'd forgotten to sew closed before she sent me back in to the world. I never went back. That was before the really significant trauma. There's so much more now that I'm not sure that going over it could even help. I feel like there's nobody in the world with enough time to even listen. And I cry so much! I can just be doing shopping and it will cross my mind or an image will pop into my head and I immediately start to cry. I definitely spend more time crying than not. Don't know what to do.

Sir_Duke (Trigger warning: sexual abuse) Full of anger, confusion and depression - and I am not the one having to deal with the real problems
  • replies: 5

I am angry! Angry at my partner's parents for being so hopeless and compounding the problems that my beautiful partner, S, is facing up to and dealing with. S had a horrible childhood at the hands of her brother who bullied, physically assaulted, int... View more

I am angry! Angry at my partner's parents for being so hopeless and compounding the problems that my beautiful partner, S, is facing up to and dealing with. S had a horrible childhood at the hands of her brother who bullied, physically assaulted, intimidated and generally made her life hell from the age of 9. Her parents also bore witness to his wrath and were themselves assaulted and threatened with violence - even a knife. The police were called to their house on 5 occasions, by their neighbours, during his explosive 'episodes', (never by them though as the Mother would not allow such a thing to be done -BTW she is a psychiatrist wet dream with compound issues of delusional behaviour, egotism, eating disorders, etc. and has caused her own level of trauma to S through her self-serving emotional bullying- and yes S's mother was abused as a child too). Over the past 2 years S's emotional state has deteriorated. Despite a very comfortable lifestyle with everything one could want S has been wrestling with her past and the repressed monster inside of her finally broke out. Fortunately we got to a safe place so S could seek treatment. It transpires that S was also sexually abused on several occasions by her brother - commencing at the age of 9. She didn't tell her parents at the time and they now show no interest in hearing what she has/needs to say or facing up to the reality of what happened. S has been admitted to the clinic twice and I fear she will need to go back again soon as I simply can't keep her safe from herself. I have tried to tell her parents that she needs them to hear her and what she has to say. There is simply no way that they couldn't have put 2 and 2 together and worked out that their son raped their daughter! She has told them that her brother, physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually abused her and that is why she is going into hospital for treatment but their response is 'it happened in the past - there is no benefit to reliving it all -you need to get over it!' She is being so brave to face up to her past and work through it - and I know she can be successful - but the additional layer of her parents dismissing it, not supporting her and worse still not wanting to believe her, might be more than she can manage. I am doing everything I can to support. I am scared for her and I am so angry at her parents - I want to blurt it all out to them but know it is not my place to do so. I just want what's best for S.

Chris_B The Melbourne CBD tragedy - dealing with the emotional impact of a traumatic event
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone, I was in Bourke St yesterday and spent time at the community memorial outside the old GPO building. Flowers and cards covering the pavement, crowds of people just standing and taking it all in. To anyone reading who may be feeling overwh... View more

Hi everyone, I was in Bourke St yesterday and spent time at the community memorial outside the old GPO building. Flowers and cards covering the pavement, crowds of people just standing and taking it all in. To anyone reading who may be feeling overwhelmed or distressed by the tragedy that has occurred, this is a space to share your thoughts and get support. Below are some tips taken from the beyondblue resource "Emotional responses after a disaster": DO * Spend time with people who care * Give yourself time * Find out about the impact of trauma and what to expect * Try to keep a routine going, eg. work, study * Return to normal activities * Talk about how you feel or what happened when ready * Do things that help you relax * Do things that you enjoy * Set realistic goals - don't take on too much, but try to find goals that keep you motivated * Review and reward progress - notice even the small steps * Talk about the ups and downs of recovery with friends, family and the health professionals involve in your care * Have a plan to maintain positive changes and plans to deal with times of stress or reminders of the trauma DON'T * Use alcohol or drugs to try and cope * Keep yourself busy and work too much * Engage in stressful family or work situations * Withdraw from family and friends * Stop yourself from doing things that you enjoy * Avoid talking about what happened * Take risks