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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Pip25 Need help for treatment options
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone, I've had a really challenging week. I had my second EMDR session with my clinical psychologist and found it extremely challenging. My weekend has consisted of panic attacks, flash backs ans just sleep due to exhaustion. My pyschologist h... View more

Hi everyone, I've had a really challenging week. I had my second EMDR session with my clinical psychologist and found it extremely challenging. My weekend has consisted of panic attacks, flash backs ans just sleep due to exhaustion. My pyschologist has since written a letter explaining that she isn't sure if this form of therapy is going to help and is looking at alternative referrals. She's already tried CBT rescripting but decided that wasn't effective either. I feel as though she's giving up on helping me and I've been trying so so hard during our sessions and invested so much in trying to get better. I don't know what other forms of therapy exist or where she would refer me to. I've tried googling options but it's just made me feel more lost and stressed. I'm trying to keep it all together but I'm really not coping anymore and I don't know where to go for help.

Gudia Fully stressed out with marriage and worried about newborn baby
  • replies: 8

Hi, i am new on this forum as well as in Australia. I am married for four years. Me and my husband had issues in the first year of our marriage but after that everything started going well. We started loving each other and happy with each other. Now ... View more

Hi, i am new on this forum as well as in Australia. I am married for four years. Me and my husband had issues in the first year of our marriage but after that everything started going well. We started loving each other and happy with each other. Now we had our first baby just four months ago. at the time of delivery my husband's parents came from overseas. I don't get along much with them. They have pushing and dominating nature. They made me terminate my first pregnancy just after my marriage. They never wanted me to have baby. i don't like them much. Neither they like me. And my husband is a mumma's boy. He agree with his mom. so now his parents came here for more than two months at my delivery and made my life hell. They all became a group including my husband and pushed me towards postnatal depression. they are gone back to their home but they break our husband wife relationship. Now my husband believe that whatever happens in those two months we're only my mistake. now my husband treats me very badly. He sometimes says that you should die.. he mentally abusing me. I don't know what to do. I am trying to focus on my newborn baby but my husband gives me so much stress that I can't take care of my baby 100%. his parents wants us to have divorce. My husband also wants the same but I am the only one who is trying to keep this marriage. but sometimes I feel tired of doing efforts and tired of this mental abuse. i don't know what to do. But for sure I am not thinking about suicide coz I want the love be for my baby. However my husband tried a lot to make me commit suicide but I didn't listen to him. my biggest concern is that if something happens to me then is there a possibility that I can make a will saying that my baby should Iive with my husband or my family but not with my husbands family. i am asking this because I know that if I die then my husband will not take care of my baby, he will give our baby to his sister and parents. they are not nice people. They already killed one of my child. I don't want them to have my baby and then to kill later.

remboy When does the good stuff start?
  • replies: 12

I have suffered from anxiety and depression for nearly all of my adult life but only first sought professional help ten years ago. My depressive episodes come and go and, I was in the midst of another struggle which began late last year. One day in J... View more

I have suffered from anxiety and depression for nearly all of my adult life but only first sought professional help ten years ago. My depressive episodes come and go and, I was in the midst of another struggle which began late last year. One day in January I was having a bad day at work so went for a walk at lunch time to get some fresh air and try to change my mindset. Unfortunately, I just happened to be in the Bourke St mall just at the exact moment the car drove through killing six people and injuring dozens more. I know there is no good time to witness that sort of thing but this was the worst possible moment, when I was already in a bad place. I have struggled to sleep without medication since that day. The following week I started seeing a counsellor through work as well as my own psychiatrist but am really struggling to work through everything. As an introvert who suffers from anxiety I find life a difficult experience at the best of times. Getting through a typical day of dealing with people and the world in general is draining and exhausting. Right now I'm struggling to see what the point of it is. The sessions with my psychiatrist have been difficult in that they are uncovering that I haven't dealt with the past. At my last session my psych told me that she'd never come across anyone more controlled by fear than me. I've always known about my problems in that area but this made me feel that I am beyond help. I'm not sort of person who would take his own life but if somebody told that when I went to sleep tonight I would not wake up I wouldn't be unhappy. I am struggling to think of what I would be missing out on.

MamaD I'm really lonely and just wanted to connect
  • replies: 7

I'm really tired. I'm feeling really lonely. I have a lot of grief to still get through. Its been years. I'm so tired of having to work through trauma, watching for triggers. Dealing with the fall out of being triggered. I lost two friends over the l... View more

I'm really tired. I'm feeling really lonely. I have a lot of grief to still get through. Its been years. I'm so tired of having to work through trauma, watching for triggers. Dealing with the fall out of being triggered. I lost two friends over the last few months and I'm now down to none. This puts a lot of pressure on my partner. I find it really hard to connect with people. I find it hard to be emotionally vulnerable with people. I turned 40 last month, and after years of friendship (long distance a few calls a week) known each other for 30 odd years, she forgot my birthday. Sent me a text to apologise, when I asked her what happened, she just disappeared. Ghosted. The pattern I have found is that as long as I'm supporting or showing interest in them they stick around as soon I may start opening up and looking for support or advice or just to have a vent, they disappear. It then gets harder and harder to connect. I'm sad and feel alone tonight. I just couldn't bring myself to call anyone, the reality is, I don't really have anyone to call. Is there anyone out there?

r_d [TRIGGER WARNING: domestic violence] my dad and his siblings won't listen to reason.
  • replies: 8

Hi, I'll try to explain properly so bear with me. So my little sister and I currently moved out of my father's house due to his anger issues. Since our mum passed almost 2 years ago, it's just been us three. My dad and I have had some arguments here ... View more

Hi, I'll try to explain properly so bear with me. So my little sister and I currently moved out of my father's house due to his anger issues. Since our mum passed almost 2 years ago, it's just been us three. My dad and I have had some arguments here and there about small things like household chores and stuff like that, and since last year, he's been blaming my 'change' of attitude because i've had a boyfriend, which is not true. Every time that happens, my dad would start to raise his voice and I would try to be calm but when I talk to him, I just get really frustrated. Also, the way that he sometimes asks us to do something for him is more of like a command to do what he wants to be done. He's very strict and he just loves to complain about what we do wrong, even a tiny bit, to his sisters. I am 23 and my sister is 12 and the three of us has depression. Anyways, this past Sunday, something happened. It's a bit hard to explain, but my sister was in the kitchen when all of a sudden I hear her yell out in pain because my dad punched her in the arm and I heard her yell out, "Stop, what are you doing?" then she ran towards her room. Just so you know, these kinds of things happened before when it gets bad but we let it slide because he's still our father and he never lets us forget that, but this time, I saw my dad run towards her room and try to break down her door, saying things like, "I'll kill you" and just full on swore at her. I told him to calm down but he kept saying things that really cut to the core. He said that it was her fault that our mum passed away because of stress from processing her adoption papers. Also, he keeps saying that he regrets bringing her here in the country and some other hurtful things that you never say to a 12-year-old much less your own daughter. Mind you, he has said these things to me too. It hurt a lot and I told him that but he said it's just words. "I don't mean it and I would never do anything to harm my daughters." So now, after a few hours, we snuck out and went to our elder sister's house because we don't feel safe there anymore. His sisters kept calling us and blaming me for everything that happened a few days ago, even though I keep telling them that he THREATENED TO KILL US. They said that it's normal to be angry and say those things and my sister and I should just say sorry and forget about it. Did we do the right thing? I feel bad for leaving but we really don't feel safe there anymore. Any advice?

3T Is there a link between trauma and high blood pressure?
  • replies: 2

Hey guys I just wanted to know if long term mental illness can make you physically sick I have really high blood pressure and I'm not sure if the two are related

Hey guys I just wanted to know if long term mental illness can make you physically sick I have really high blood pressure and I'm not sure if the two are related

Roxy123 PTSD Hallucinations
  • replies: 1

Hi, I was wondering if anyone has had a similar experience. A person I know has had several visits to the hospital, the hospital is saying there is nothing wrong with her but a doctor is saying because of a mentally abusive relationship and, issues i... View more

Hi, I was wondering if anyone has had a similar experience. A person I know has had several visits to the hospital, the hospital is saying there is nothing wrong with her but a doctor is saying because of a mentally abusive relationship and, issues involving her kids that she is has PTSD Hallucinations. This has been happening very frequently, strange things like eating fish food, trying to drink hair conditioner, buttering her shoe with butter, thinking she is making a cake whilst sitting on the floor, putting a towel into the toilet, possibly thinking it was a washing machine, she was off to the beach and is back in 1993 even though we are in 2017. All of this is happening and last for about 12 hours. For many years she has been a very heavy drinker, but not every day drinker but when she did could go on a bender for a couple of days. She has spent time in Rehab a few times. I believe she no longer drinks, but I know she has been on prescription medication. My question is, can a person experience things like I have mentioned from PTSD, or do you think some kids of drug/prescription medication is getting used. Some people are convinced it is PTSD, but I am not. She can function on days perfect then hours later is completely unaware of what is going on around her. Thank you, look forward to hearing your feedback

SuperSonic When other survivors of abuse won't talk to you
  • replies: 3

I really hope this post doesn't come off as selfish - please read to the end! I was abused by a medical professional in the early 1980s (10yrs to 13 yrs old). I've discovered a group of older women who were also abused by this person in late 60s & 70... View more

I really hope this post doesn't come off as selfish - please read to the end! I was abused by a medical professional in the early 1980s (10yrs to 13 yrs old). I've discovered a group of older women who were also abused by this person in late 60s & 70s, but they are all about 10-15 years older than me. but is seems no one now wants to talk about it. I wonder if when you are around your 40s (like I am), is when this kind of trauma hits you the worst. And maybe they've all been through that stage and just don't want to revisit it. I don't know. But I feel like I'm an outsider of a group. I'm going to the Royal Commission later this week and I'm feeling terribly alone about the whole thing. I know one of the other lady's has also gone to the RC and I was hoping we could discuss it before I go. However she got one of her friends to email me to say she was unable to support me as she's going through a tough time. Naturally I have to accept this, but it hurts me. Guess I just wanted peoples thoughts on this forum, as to whether they've experienced a similar thing. regards, Super

TBella Disillusioned by Pursuit of Happiness
  • replies: 4

overwhelmed by the realisation that my whole life has been full of grief & loss.why can't I let go of it, or get over it! I just want to be happy! Then it hit me like a flash of lightning.Some things in life that happen to us, some losses we will nev... View more

overwhelmed by the realisation that my whole life has been full of grief & loss.why can't I let go of it, or get over it! I just want to be happy! Then it hit me like a flash of lightning.Some things in life that happen to us, some losses we will never completely heal or get over in this life. There will be times when out of blue triggers will come &grief will slap you hard in the face again&knock you off your feet! But we don't need to struggle or fight against it, we just need to accept it! It's like being in the ocean, fighting, struggling against the crushing waves- you just exhaust yourself &drown quicker. Grief is like the waves of the ocean, if you fight against it&struggle we will just exhaust ourselves & drown. It's better to just let the waves of grief roll over you& learn to just ride the wave until it brings you into shore. I think what I realised today is that sometimes our intense pursuit of happiness is to avoid feeling the pain from the bad things that happened to us. We want to feel good! I think as humans we expect to be happy all the time&yet today I seen that that pursuit of happiness is actually what disillusions is.I realised that the pursuit of happiness is unattainable&unrealistic! We cannot be happy ALL the time, nor can we live in a constant state of happiness. It's not normal.It is possible to come to a place of contentment in life, where you learn to be content with life.I realised we have MOMENTS OF HAPPINESS" rather than constant HAPPINESS.Making that distinction that we have MOMENTS of happiness rather then that pursuit of happiness has really helped me! I no longer feel the need to pursue happiness as such.It's helped me to make peace with it &also peace with my loss&grief!I accept that everyone has their moments of loss, grief, everyone has their moments of happiness. Buts that's all they are MOMENTS.There will be times when the waves of grief wash over us but we don't need to fight & struggle against it! We just need to learn to ride the wave until it passes.Sometimes we need to accept that the grief, trauma in our lives leave us with a limp&we may just have to learn to walk the rest of our life with a limp but we just keep walking. And when we have a crap day, we just let it happen.Seeing it as MOMENTS is very liberating,I don't have to fight anymore! I don't have to fight against grief or fight for happiness because both will inevitably come to me- it's called life!

TBella Over being judged & misunderstood
  • replies: 6

Well I emailed my sister last night to share a breakthrough I had re: not feeling like I have fight against grief or fight for happiness- I just accept both will come. My sister emails me back giving me long lecture on happiness is a choice, we make ... View more

Well I emailed my sister last night to share a breakthrough I had re: not feeling like I have fight against grief or fight for happiness- I just accept both will come. My sister emails me back giving me long lecture on happiness is a choice, we make our own happiness. I emailed her back to explain that it's not as simple as a choice to be happy when you have mental illness. I explained my experience in the last 5 years with PTSD, in order to help her understand. She sends me an angry email back saying she doesn't believe in all that stuff- mental illness, PTSD are just labels so you don't have to take responsibility for your life & can play the victim coz safe being a victim & she hopes her email makes me angry, angry enough to stop being a victim. Ouch!!! It really hurts, I made myself so vulnerable & she shut me down! I'm fed up being told how I should feel or not feel! And now I'm worried for her kids, as two of them have shared with me their own struggles with mental illness & how they tried to talk to their mum but she shuts them down because she refuses to accept mental illness is real- according to her mental illness is a choice! Yeah we choose to have PTSD coz it's safe! Pfft! Ask anyone with PTSD & they will tell you they don't feel safe. The most concerning thing about all this is she is a nurse! Clearly classically text book trained. It makes me feel sad &I isolated - like no one gets me or understands! It makes me want to never open up & share how I'm really feeling coz I'm sick of dealing with ignorance, arrogance & people intolerance to accept people with mental illness. And I'm over Being judged by people especially family who don't even take the time to see how I am or what's going on in my life. Im feeling pretty raw tonight & like hiding for the rest of my life!