Today I ended my emotionally abusive relationship

[pinkroses]

What next?

Im shaking & scared. Im at my mums & I have told her.

I was brave and told him this morning it isn't okay how he treats e.g. today he is going alone to a girls house to drink. I said that's not okay as he won't tell me where it is and when he will be back. He said I'm a skitzo & other things. I know people that haven't read my past post may think I didn't do the right thing however he does this often. who knows what he does with other people behind my back.

Not too sure what else to write right now. 😕

[monkey_magic]

Hey girl im happy 4 u its what u knew in your heart u needed to do . he sounds disrespectful. Shake it off....ur worth more...if u think of going back just remember how he made u feel....one day u will meet someone better. U sound too mature for him...he needs a mother not a girlfriend lol....

[Guest_1055]

Dear beautiful pinkroses,

I have read your other thread. I know you are scared, and I am so sorry, as this is not a nice feeling. If you are saying you ended your relationship with this guy. Well you are right you are a brave one. I believe you made the right choice. You are far too precious to be treated in such a manner.

Shell xxx

PS you have also encouraged me by your bravery.

[pinkroses]

Hi Shelley Anne,

Thank you for the kind words, I think the next couple weeks are going to be a big struggle but I'm determined to improve my life & I know I will not go back. I feel strong for the first time in so long.

That is so lovely to say I have encouraged you - you made me blush. I hope you have a great day xoxo

[Wednesday]

Hello Pinkrose,

Congratulations on making an enormous step and a confronting decision. You have done so well to find a way to break the cycle of abuse you found yourself in. Sure it will take a little time, but you know the rewards will be great.

A long time a go I made a similar decision to you and have no regrets, you can do this , stay strong.

I'm so pleased you confided in your mum. I'm sure she will be there to support you through this journey, as we will.

Hugs for being such a strong amazing woman. I heard that, yes you are, it takes a lot to make these sort of decisions. Gold star! xx

[Paula81]

Good on you for leaving, such a brave thing to do. Us girls cant let these abusive animals get the better of us. Also glad you have the support of your mother and pretty much every one else on this thread, we're here for you! x

[pinkroses]

I am wanting some advice if thats okay - when I ended things, he said he wants the engagement ring back. I said once you give me the $885 bond I leant him he can (about 12 days away). He didn't like this but nayway I changed my number & blocked him however today I recevied an email from him saying "If Im serious about ending the relationship he still wants the ring back"

I rang him - trying to be rationale (no intention of going back) and he wanted to meet up to have a discussion.

I feel comfortable doing so, but I won't be giving him the ring. Can I get him to sign something with me so we both know the date we will be swapping the ring for money? what if he doesn't agree? Can he get the police to come to my house?

i have plenty of proof of texts, voice mails and emails of the abuse he has put me through. I'm worried the police would be on his side if we can't work things out - despite me never raising me voice or swearing at him once in the entire relationship. I haven't done anything wrong but I don't want to be treated unfairly by him when I am being fair. any advice? 😕

[Wednesday]

Hi Pinkroses,

Of course he is going to try every trick he can and this is just one of them.

I don't know the answer but doubt if the police would get involved in such a matter they have bigger things to deal with, after there any ex police on the forum that can comment? Can you imagine the conversation my ex girlfriend wont give me the ring back! The police are used to dealing with odd people he is no different.

Maybe $850 is worth it to get to rid of this man and show him you don't care by giving the ring back anyway. Yes I know that is unfair but it is a small value to put on your safety and sanity?

I'd suggest thinking very carefully about that catch up too. Is this just another manipulation another time to tell you what he thinks? In which case show him who you are and a let hm know you don't care by not meeting with him.

I know this sounds harsh, but break-ups are. You can do this, don't let him sway you, you made a courageous decision, don't let him get under your skin again.

xx

[Apollo_Black]

Why are you meeting him for a discussion? What's to discuss?

Over the phone, you just tell him when he has your money he can have the ring back and leave the ball in his court.

Technically the ring is a gift so he really can't ask for it back, well as far as I'm aware. Good on you for holding onto it. But seriously, why meet with him? He's just going to lay on the BS with gas lighting and DARVO to suck you back in. You've already said what's needed to be said. He just needs to come up with the cash. Stop feeling guilty and take the control over your own life back that you deserve. Don't meet with him.

[Apollo_Black]

Probably best if we can get a moderator to merge or lock your other thread. 2 at once about the same thing is confusing