Does talking really help?

[Miseryguts]

Hi...

I've seen a therapist once in my life, spent an hour with her then time was up and I walked out feeling bruised and battered. Like an open wound she'd forgotten to sew closed before she sent me back in to the world. I never went back.

That was before the really significant trauma.

There's so much more now that I'm not sure that going over it could even help. I feel like there's nobody in the world with enough time to even listen. And I cry so much! I can just be doing shopping and it will cross my mind or an image will pop into my head and I immediately start to cry. I definitely spend more time crying than not. Don't know what to do.

[Zeal]

Hi, and welcome to the forum!

I'm sorry to hear that your only experience of a therapy session was distressing and uncomfortable. Unfortunately, feeling unpleasant emotions is common during the early stages of therapy. This commitment to therapy will pay off in the long run. Mental health issues, emotional conflicts and trauma are worked through over multiple sessions. Some people may need to see a therapist or other mental health professional for weeks, others will need months, and some will require years.

Going to your doctor (GP) for a referral to a mental health professional is a good option. After briefly discussing your situation with the GP, they can gauge which type of mental health professional would suit you. This could be a counsellor, therapist, psychotherapist, psychologist or psychiatrist. Your doctor may know of a great mental health professional who would suit your needs well. This significant trauma you've experienced definitely needs to be addressed by a professional. It won't be pleasant, but is best for your long-term wellbeing.

I've cried in an appointment a few times before. At first I felt embarrassed, but it's actually a healthy way to express your emotions. For me, talking about my mental health issues has definitely been beneficial long-term. I have seen a few psychologists, a psychiatrist and GP's in the past.

In addition to seeing your GP for a referral, it's good to have a helpline number in your phone for when you're doing it tough. Beyondblue can be reached on 1300 22 4636.

If you want to talk further, you can post back anytime.

Best wishes,

Zeal

[Starwolf]

Hi Miseryguts, good to meet you.

I'm with you...psych therapy often feels like undergoing surgery without anesthetic. But as Zeal so rightly pointed out, just like with any surgery, the initial pain is well justified in the long run. A psych session is like throwing a rock into a still pond...it stirs up a lot of muck at the bottom and causes waves but the mud eventually settles.

Reviewing past trauma is not pleasant but there is no way we can fix what we cannot confront.

Over time, brains patterns become firmly entrenched...only patient, persistent work will bring healing. This is why therapy is always a course of sessions, never an isolated one. The mind is too complex a maze to navigate without a guide. When brain mechanism has been thrown out of whack, repair is a commitment we make to ourselves. Because each and everyone of us deserves peace of mind and quality of Life to return. Just as you do.

The good thing is, with the right professional help and support, things can and will get better.

Kindest thoughts.

[Croix]

Dear Miseryguts

I'm feeling for you, a bad place. The advice you have already received from Zeal & Starwolf is so good - I wish I'd had it when I suffered my mental injury.

There's one thing from my own experience that you can take encouragement for. The 'talking' to your psychiatrist or psychologist is not - or should not be - a set of random happenings, but a planned course with the medical professional able to give you in advance the structure of each session in a course, and the overall plan to be undertaken, together what an idea of what is trying to be accomplished.

If you know all this in advance, while the seasons themselves may be very emotional/confronting/draining you do have prior warning.

In addition I found if I was able to have someone accompany me then I could come out of a session knowing I did not have to think, or drive, or anything until I felt more in command of myself.

A small thing, but as I found, particularly in the early stages of my mental injury I was not really capable of giving a full and concise picture of the situation. I used - and still do - write it all down well in advance in point form, then go though the list together with the professional in the appointment.

My best wishes

Croix

[SubduedBlues]

HI Miseryguts

When spilling my guts to someone else, often I find myself adjusting what I am saying to appease the audience. Not really getting at the heart of the matter. But, I still believe that talking about it really does help. Or at least writing about it here on the forums.

I find that putting the effort in to explaining your feelings to others is very therapeutic and helps me cope with the many many thoughts that rush through my head. It helps me deal with them, realize them for what they are, and adjust my fears and viewpoints regarding events of the past. And best of all, how to keep them from controlling me.

If you find the idea of seeing someone too daunting, you can always post here. I do.

SB

[Miseryguts]

Hi everyone thankyou all for taking the time to reply.

I guess I know what I need to do. Not sure now is the right time as I'm very isolated from my family (not that I really talk about it to them so maybe that's an excuse) , in another state actually while my 8 year old has been undergoing a bone marrow transplant. We've been here since July and I'v been struggling more than ever with depression and the trauma of his dad being murdered in 2012 , three trials, crime scene and autopsy photos. Maybe its the fear of losing my son that's bringing it all up to the surface or being in hospital and not having the privacy to break down and pull myself back together like i would at home, I'm not sure. Death is a trigger for me but it's all I can think of lately. My sons, his fathers and my own.

I definitely need help, I'm just not sure if now would be helpful or if it would be too much.

[Starwolf]

Omg, what a hellish ride it has been for you ! No wonder you are feeling so distressed...

I do hope your boy is recovering well. How hard it must have been for you both...

Being a bit of a Jane of all trades in the PTSD department, I can relate to some of what you are going through. Among other dramas and traumas, my daughter's life also hung by one thin thread due to acquired brain injury many years ago. And I did experience the heartbreak, frustration etc...of a protracted court case. Lost loved ones in tragic, violent circumstances too.

I understand your reluctance to go back there. It is desperately difficult but well worth the heartache and mental/emotional strain in the long run. But forgetting is unfortunately not an option. Deep wounds, may they be physical or emotional must be healed. If ignored, infection will set in and play havoc. Acknowledging you need help is a brave first step. Well done for taking it.

My heart naturally goes out to you. I suggest you take good care of yourself. Repeated trauma takes a heavy toll. PTSD is a medical condition and should be treated as such. It doesn't just disappear over time but can get worse if left unattended. Brain patterns become entrenched over time so please make yourself the priority. You deserve to regain some peace of mind and your son needs a happy Mum.

Caring for a loved one often means our own needs are relegated to the back burner. But they can't be ignored too long, burn out easily sets in.

Having gone through it all, you obviously had to tap into huge reserves of courage and resilience. They will be a valuable asset in your journey of recovery. You have my admiration and respect.

My thoughts are with you.

[CJs_mum]

....and mine!
Amazing.

I hope you have some time to grieve - it truly sounds like you need to. Be aware that it is ok to cry, feel anger and then to find someone better to talk it over with. Again, you may have to keep going back to talk again and again. Talking can't bring your son's father back, nor can it help him recover...but time, being open, letting the emotions and grieving out can help you.
You will need to be strong, feel supported and loved. You will need to care and show love for yourself. You will need to be there for your son, but you are NOT alone.

We are here for you. Talk, yell, shout, scream, be angry, be upset, be happy if you need. Its ok, we will listen and support. You have our love and thoughts.

[oobbeedoobee]

my life is empty.......I exist.....I feel isolated.....but no-one even knows

[Croix]

Dear Miseryguts~
I hope you don’t mind if I talk to Oobbeedoobee for a minute?

Dear Oobbeedoobee ~
I know you replied to Zeal, I’m not sure he’s on at the moment, I’m sure he’ll see your message when he comes back.

You must have been reading the posts and something you found here prompted you to write. From the sound of what you did say you are in a black place, if like it was like my time there you could be buried in loneliness, resentment, despair, deep hurt - a place where the world shrinks right down to just you, you and your pain.

Just so you know who you’re talking to at the moment, I'm an ex-policeman who was invalided out of the force with PTSD and related problems, and I've been very very down - though I'm out of sight better now and it is far away in the past. I got right though that place. I had a little help.

First off, just as Zeal said, if you feel overwhelmed have a talk to us on our help line 1300 22 4636 where there are friendly non-judgmental & knowledgeable professionals, or you can call Lifeline on 131114.

A human voice can give unexpected warmth and caring when it is needed - don't think you’re not entitled or will take up time - you are as important as anyone and are expected to call if you need to.

I’m having to try to read between the lines a little here, as your words express your pain and being alone but say no more.

Would you mind coming back and saying a little about yourself, your life, the problems you face, if you are on treatments or anything else you feel you could share. My mistake for years was to try to soldier on alone – it made things worse in the long run, I could have started recovery that much sooner.

While it would be ideal for you to start a thread of your own I’m sure no one would mind if you posted here again instead – you’d be welcomed.

We have a fair amount of information available via The Facts drop down menu (towards the top of the page) on Suicide and all sorts of illnesses, such as Anxiety & Depression: causes, symptoms, treatments. You might care read it.

Please do keep posting and tell more about yourself. You will be assured of a warm reception

My best wishes

Croix