Hi fellow survivors! Home is where the heart is as they say. Your
sanctuary, your safe place. A place of love, guidance and support. But,
for so many as I, home was none of those things growing up. We lived in
fear, insecurity, under threat and in a ...
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Hi fellow survivors! Home is where the heart is as they say. Your
sanctuary, your safe place. A place of love, guidance and support. But,
for so many as I, home was none of those things growing up. We lived in
fear, insecurity, under threat and in a state confusion every single
day. Witnessing alcoholism and domestic violence against other family
members. Ourselves being violently sexually abused, groomed and beaten
by the person you should be the protector, not the perpetrator. A person
of submission and domination, sadism, paedolphilia and psychopathy.
Meanwhile all being protected and covered over by the victims. Blacked
out and dissociated by shame and fear. Not being able to function
normally in the outside world. Not understanding social interaction and
hidden social rules. Being taught what was right at school to be told
it’s wrong at home. Feeling alien, emotional, misunderstood but most of
heartbroken and alone. Then came dissociation. The numbing. Shutting
down in defeat. Turning the back on God. To grow older, develop a heart
condition, endometriosis, fibromyalgia. Issues with trusting partners,
explosive moods, suicidalnideation and self harm. Substance misuse as
well! But you know what? A caterpillar becomes a butterfly! A fighter, a
warrior, a healer, a counsellor, a lover, mother and a wife emerged.
Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, I rose. I keep rising. still
dealing with flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, hyper vigilance and panic
each day. But now, I cope, I function. I stay determined to own my life,
my journey. Admiring the beauty in darkness and appreciating the immense
empathy, wisdom and understanding of the human condition I have
acquired. I was once indeed a victim, I then became the survivor. But
just surviving is no longer enough. I am ready to thrive and I am
learning fast. From dissoctaion to association. We are all connected by
our experiences and I send you all the highest of love. Be strong and
keep on keeping on.
PTSD for Medical and First Responders
