PTSD and Trauma

Possible PTSD? Nightmare help

replies: 2

Hi everyone, I am new on here. Unfortunately I have been struggling with a recent traumatic event and I am seeking some coping strategies. On Christmas Eve my stepmother committed suicide at our family home and she was found Christmas morning (I am a... View more

Hi everyone, I am new on here. Unfortunately I have been struggling with a recent traumatic event and I am seeking some coping strategies. On Christmas Eve my stepmother committed suicide at our family home and she was found Christmas morning (I am an adult and do not live at the home but grew up here and was present on Christmas morning). My father, brother and I have been spending time together and I have found this to be helpful. The death was very sudden and unexpected and I would not have expected her to take this action. It has now been almost two months since her death and I am finding it incredibly difficult to sleep. I would say I think about the event and have visual images of it at least every hour of the day. At night I find it difficult to stop thinking about it while I am trying to sleep, even when I try and imagine other things. I usually have a normal wake/sleep routine but am struggling to fall asleep. Often I am close to sleep but then get a shock of anxiety, sort of like a feeling like I am falling and my stomach drops. This happens over and over and often it takes me several hours before I sleep. I try to get up and sit in a dark room for a while so I am not just lying in bed restless. When I do sleep, I have vivid nightmares of people breaking into my apartment and committing suicide in front of me and I cannot stop them and I wake sweating and panicked. I am feeling a lot of anxiety during the day. When I was younger I suffered from depression and engaged in some self-harm behaviors. I do not drink alcohol regularly or take any drugs. My regular doctor is on holidays at the moment and I intend on making an appointment when he returns. Has anyone got any any advice on how to assist with the sleeping, as well as reducing the nightmares and anxiety? Thank you in advance for your support.

Narcissistic Abuse - Finally Free!

replies: 47

I can't believe I am free. I was with my ex-fiance for 8 years and suffered at the hands of his cruel torments, naming, shaming and blaming. I forgot who I was for a long time. It wasn't until I was humiliated in public so harshly that I decided enou... View more

I can't believe I am free. I was with my ex-fiance for 8 years and suffered at the hands of his cruel torments, naming, shaming and blaming. I forgot who I was for a long time. It wasn't until I was humiliated in public so harshly that I decided enough was enough. As a child, growing up I came from a broken home. I was lucky to have my Dad and Stepmum who loved and supported me. My mother was cruel, manipulative and destructive... but she sucked me in. It was during my early twenties and living with my mother that I realised I needed out and it was then that I met my ex-fiance. He was charming, nice, complimented me and made me feel special. This was the first alarming sign I should have seen.. but I was so wrapped up in the honeymoon period I didn't listen to my "gut". Once we moved in together, the abuse began. He would tell me that my family never loved me, that he was the only one who could look after me, nurture me etc. He told me I was dumb, stupid, worthless and nothing without him. He controlled what I wore, who I saw, where I went. I started losing my self confidence and my ability to converse with others. I was terrified to talk to other people or accept invitations because he would harass me, text me all night or ask people to "look out for me". I felt like I was constantly watched. 3 years later I left him... but I wasn't strong enough. I cried for weeks and felt more alone than ever. I took him back and endured another 5 years of hell. This time round, he didn't control who I talked to or saw.. but he diminished my existence and self worth. He used violence and blackmail to get what he wanted. He threatened to hurt my family, friends and co-workers. Work was my only sanctuary. After getting engaged, I realised I couldn't marry him. The proposal wasn't romantic at all, it felt as though it was an effort on his behalf to make me stay. He stopped listening to me and dictated every part of my life. The public humiliation was the last straw.. so I left for work... returned home after he had left and grabbed the clothes on my back. I drove for 2 days and back in the care of my family.. I am free! I have inner peace and after extensive research on narcissistic abuse I realise how much of a fool I was... how he sucked me in. My aim on here is to talk to others about it. The more we talk about it.. the less control the abuser has. I hope my story gives others inspiration to leave.. it was the best thing I have ever done!

I'm a newbie here.

replies: 4

Hi everyone. I'm new to the site and am hoping I will find some support here. Recently my husband and I were made aware that our 12 year old daughter had been sexually assaulted by her older cousin. The abuse has been happening for two years, slowly ... View more

Hi everyone. I'm new to the site and am hoping I will find some support here. Recently my husband and I were made aware that our 12 year old daughter had been sexually assaulted by her older cousin. The abuse has been happening for two years, slowly getting more invasive and dominant. We have all been in intense therapy since which has been good however I am struggling so much. It's my husband's side of the family and it has caused an enormous fracture. Of course, we have been pushed out for speaking up. I feel as though I'm having a breakdown. I'm already medicated for anxiety. I just don't kniw how to handle my feelings.

How do I break the habit of pushing loved ones away

replies: 1

Quick overview my childhood involved father emotional abusing me and my siblings and physical abuse. I find it hard to let go of the memories and hard to trust people. I confronted my father about our childhood 2 years ago ended in tears and him sayi... View more

Quick overview my childhood involved father emotional abusing me and my siblings and physical abuse. I find it hard to let go of the memories and hard to trust people. I confronted my father about our childhood 2 years ago ended in tears and him saying I was never allowed back to the family home. My mother agreed to this as didn't want me upsetting my father. I tried to apologize to him saying I just wanted him to admit what he did in our childhood but he chooses to pretend I don't exist anymore. Fast forward to adulthood fantastic partner but I find myself pushing him away thinking he is just going to hurt and abandon me. How do I get over this fear and stop pushing him away?

Partner doesn't get it

replies: 3

Hi. I have an issue in that whenever I try to talk to my partner about the abuse and trauma of my childhood, he just doesn't seem to understand the lasting effects of trauma on a young brain. I had lots of trauma as a kid and the one lasting effect o... View more

Hi. I have an issue in that whenever I try to talk to my partner about the abuse and trauma of my childhood, he just doesn't seem to understand the lasting effects of trauma on a young brain. I had lots of trauma as a kid and the one lasting effect of it is that I have nightmares. He says things like "You just gotta get over it and move on and let that stuff go. It's all in the past." And I get that he's trying to be helpful, but it feels like he's being dismissive. I am, as much as one can be, quite 'accepting' of my nightmares. I'm used to it now and don't even really freak out about them anymore. But he seems to think it's a sign that I'm "hanging onto" the trauma. Which I'm not. By sharing with him about my dreams and nightmares, I'm simply bringing it out into the light and dissolving its power over me. Sometimes I just need to verbalise stuff. Anyway, I don't know if that all makes sense, or if anyone can relate ...... But if you have any words of wisdom in regard to getting him to understand the difference between 'letting go' and having 'side effects' that would be great. Thanks.

PTSD- how to not think about bad memories?

replies: 15

Hi, Does anyone have any advice on how to not think about memories from your past? I have PTSD from some bad things that happened 15 years ago ,where in the moment when dating, things started to go further than I morally intended to and i said NO and... View more

Hi, Does anyone have any advice on how to not think about memories from your past? I have PTSD from some bad things that happened 15 years ago ,where in the moment when dating, things started to go further than I morally intended to and i said NO and grabbed his arm to stop but he kept going and pressured me to take things further and he pushed the boundaries of how far i wanted to go. I hadn't planned on things going that far. This happened more than once. How do you stop remembering the bad incidents? I saw a psychologist. Then a few years later i had to see another psychologist again. The first psychologist said "that boy was less than honourable". The second psychologist a few years later said "there's trauma attached to it." and told me I had PTSD. For a while, keeping busy by doing hobbies, being mindful in the present and trying to think about happy memories instead helped me. But even 15 years later, the bad memories still keep popping up in my head when I don't want them to. I married someone else and I feel so much guilt and shame at having gone too far with someone else before marriage.

PTSD

replies: 1

7 months ago my mother was diagnosed with ACC a rare cancer, cancer in the nerves, with maybe 12 months to live, she is primary carer for my father who also is ill with heart disease from a heart attack in 2005, I spent 4 months +organising mothers a... View more

7 months ago my mother was diagnosed with ACC a rare cancer, cancer in the nerves, with maybe 12 months to live, she is primary carer for my father who also is ill with heart disease from a heart attack in 2005, I spent 4 months +organising mothers appointments future care and caring as best as i could for my father, Mum had her palate removed and some parts of her jaw, is on a peg and can only eat small amounts of solids, has lost her strength is grieving heavily on me and is organising all her and my fathers end of life planning with me, also my father at times is leaning on me as he is deeply sadenned and confused to what to do with his life. My issue is i become disinterested in life, lose concentration and become depressed, fortunately i am able to pull myself out of it at the moment, i spent so much energy for so long thinking about doing the best i could for my parents care i forgot about me, i still have occasional recurring images of dads heart attack in 2005,as he had 3 in front of me, i have images of his sadness about my mothers health and i have many sad images of my mothers last few months inculding the phone call i received when we found out she had cancer. I have a adult son and a teenager son who also need me to some degree, my mothers illness has rocked our family as we all were of the belief as well as doctors, that my father would pass first. If i was brutally honest with my self i feel people around me has moved forward, but i still feel emotionally or mentally stuck in those traumatic months.

Struggling after a home invasion

replies: 3

Hi. I'm Hubert. I've been told by doctors I have depression that sometimes sinks into melancholia and anxiety. They try different meds but after a while I end up not liking them and I cold-turkey off them. Non drinker but I do smoke marijuana, & I dr... View more

Hi. I'm Hubert. I've been told by doctors I have depression that sometimes sinks into melancholia and anxiety. They try different meds but after a while I end up not liking them and I cold-turkey off them. Non drinker but I do smoke marijuana, & I drink too much coffee! On the night of 29th January there was a home invasion at my unit. 3 people, wearing balaclavas, kicked open my front door. I was attacked with a knife and a baseball bat. I kept the knife off me but I was hit over the head with a baseball bat 3 times. I couldn't sleep for 10 nights afterwards, most medication didn't help. I am ok now physically, just a scar on my head from 18 stitches. But I can feel myself falling apart. I am scared/angry at everyone I see in public, I cannot sit down outside, have to keep my back protected against a wall, always ready for a fight. THIS IS NOT THE NORMAL ME. The absolute smallest thing goes wrong and I hide in my room and cry. The worse thing is, I have been serious with a woman since December, and I am ruining our relationship. I don't know what to do.

Found out my ex is escorting, what to do

replies: 3

Hi Complicated situation. A bit of background. I was with my ex for 8 years, we have a 5 yo child. Towards the end, i was subject to immense amounts of emotional and verbal abuse. it culminated in a ohysical assault on me. She has bi polar, clinical ... View more

Hi Complicated situation. A bit of background. I was with my ex for 8 years, we have a 5 yo child. Towards the end, i was subject to immense amounts of emotional and verbal abuse. it culminated in a ohysical assault on me. She has bi polar, clinical anxiety, tourettes (just ticks) and is on about 6 anti depressents, antipsychotics and benzos. I have been supportive and kind since the breakup, but feel a bit like a doormat. Tried to reconnect a few times, didnt work out. But she clearly needs me for emotional support, as she has no one else. My issue is that i care for her, but i now know something that makes that almost impossible. She left her ipad at my house last week; i had a look at the history. What i found shocked me. It was clear she was using our daughter to manipulate me - often threatening to deny access for no reasons, joking with her only friend about it. It hurt to find out I had been used, she would often tell me she was low and needed my help and i provided it, because i care. What was worse was finding out she had been escorting. She had been selling her body on a website - and i have the screenshots of the conversations with her clients. To say i was devastated is an understatement; not for myself, but for the potential risk to our daughter. With her serious mental health issues combined with some pretty bad choices, i am not sure what to do with the information. She knows i know, i rang her as soon as i saw it. My question is, do I let her family know so they can intervene? Do i use the info to go for sole custody of my daughter? My fear is that if i let others know she might contemplate self harm from the shame. On the other hand, i be a gentleman and keep it to myself, i feel like i am watching a slow motion train wreck. What to do? Intervene or keep my mouth shut? I am so worried.

I have it all. Theres not much said about Schizophrenia that develops with depression, PTSD, bipolar and anxiety during age

replies: 11

Hi everyone. Very new to this. I am a current full-time paramedic, and have also worked full-time as a career firefighter internationally and interstate. I have also taught for an Interstate Ambulance service and volunteered for numerous emergency se... View more

Hi everyone. Very new to this. I am a current full-time paramedic, and have also worked full-time as a career firefighter internationally and interstate. I have also taught for an Interstate Ambulance service and volunteered for numerous emergency services. In my day, I had to lie about getting these jobs as the stigma is and was tremendous and I would not of got these jobs if I advised them I had a mental illness. But come today, and my work knows and is nothing but supportive as the workplace has come a long way. In short, at 19, I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia and have battled since with depression, PTSD, anxiety and to some degree bipolar. I am now in my early 40's with a family. Healthy family. I have been institutionalized 8 times but got up and back on the horse every time. It has been hard, so hard but its a battle and even today i still struggle but with a very good psychologist, the right attitude and obedience with medications I have done it all. People don't realise that hospital is a massive trauma in peoples lives and should not be overseen but in relevance to that it can be the best thing. Some of the stories I could tell are pretty funny but inspirational. Mental health should not be a block in anyone's life in regards to family, work and friends. Not saying its easy but well worth it. I have also had the privilege of traveling all around the world and I always believed you are either the victim or survivor. a great man once told me, you control your illness, not your illness control you. I want to volunteer with advocacy, teach, destroy stigma, guest speak, give insight and help people with whatever mental health someone has but have no idea how to do this. I feel bored with my paramedic work and want to come into the mental health arena advocating for people but not sure how to do this and if anyone can give some advice? And also I would love to be of service with the threads but not sure where to start? Thank you

Pinned discussions

PTSD for Medical and First Responders

replies: 276

All discussions

Possible PTSD? Nightmare help

replies: 2