Grief and loss

I lost my 4-year-old daughter

replies: 37

This is my first post in here. I've tried to find a support group. my youngest daughter choked at home and died 3 years ago, she was four. my life has turned upside down with grief ,guilt and hopelessness.. I've tried to find support but have had a b... View more

This is my first post in here. I've tried to find a support group. my youngest daughter choked at home and died 3 years ago, she was four. my life has turned upside down with grief ,guilt and hopelessness.. I've tried to find support but have had a bad experience with counsellor so have given up taking that path and thought i would give this a try. I don't recognise my self or my family anymore and the person I was before she got her wings died with her . I don't known what to do anymore or if life is going to get better....I have never felt more alone and out of place in my life

Lost my brother

replies: 25

In 2015 my younger brother died I'm still struggling with this sometimes it's nice to just talk about him with other people sounds so weird but it helps to remember the good bits

Is grief a trigger for bipolar II

replies: 3

Hi everyone I'm new here and this is my first post. I was diagnosed with bipolar ii disorder in November 2016. My mum has just had exploratory surgery where a large inoperable tumour mass was found. It's believed to be secondary breast cancer which s... View more

Hi everyone I'm new here and this is my first post. I was diagnosed with bipolar ii disorder in November 2016. My mum has just had exploratory surgery where a large inoperable tumour mass was found. It's believed to be secondary breast cancer which she battled 7 years ago. We are currently awaiting pathology results to see how and if it can be treatment. In any case she won't survive this but hopefully buy some time. Im very close to my mum except for last year where she didn't understand mental health and I kept my distance and never told her my diagnosis as I knew she wouldn't cope with it. I feel sad for the arguments we had and the lost time. I feel responsible for it all and my illness and I'm angry I got sick. I was very suicidal and incorrectly treatment with antidepressants which made things a when lot worse. I'm lucky to be alive and my mum doesn't know the half of it. I don't regret keeping it from her but believe I should have handled it better and kept a better relationship with her. I feel guilt as now my time is limited with her. I've been medicated since December slowly increasing on an anti epileptic which is good for BP ii. I finally got to the correct dose in February and things have been better and more stable. Combined with counselling. But I haven't been able to sleep with my mind racing and I just randomly cry and go from crying to focussed that we can fight this. I feel confused and I don't know if this is normal or whether the bp ii is making my moods go all over the place. I don't know if this is triggering issues and I don't know how I'm going to cope with this. I have two little boys under 6 and not working as I gave up my career last year when I got sick but was hoping to return to it this year. I can't afford to fall apart for their sake. Anyone help Me? Thank you x

Sudden loss of father

replies: 28

My father, who was also my best friend, passed away suddenly just over a week ago. We have been extremely close since my mother passed away from cancer when I was 18. The ambulance I called was unable to get to him as his house is hard to access, I e... View more

My father, who was also my best friend, passed away suddenly just over a week ago. We have been extremely close since my mother passed away from cancer when I was 18. The ambulance I called was unable to get to him as his house is hard to access, I ended up finding him unresponsive, they said it was a heart attack. He has a long and complicated medical history and has survived a heart attack before. I am having flashbacks to finding him and trying to wake him and am experiencing extreme feelings of guilt for not getting to him soon enough, I had spoken to him a few hours earlier and he said he was short of breath and to see if he could move his doctor's appointment a few days earlier, they couldn't and said if he should go to hospital, he said he would see how he went, I kept calling him every 20 minutes and he eventually said he would get ready to go to hospital and call me back. He didn't and I couldn't get a hold of him so I called and told the ambulance to go there. I feel that I should have known how serious it was and ignored him telling me he was ok and just got them there earlier, I was at work about half an hour away on the train which is why it took me awhile to get to him. I miss him so much and whilst my husband (who was also very close to my dad) is being amazing, my mentally disabled sister who was in my dad's care has come to live with us and he is great with her, I can't see how I will ever feel ok again and be able to move on. It feels like a piece of me has died with him. I am seeing a counsellor on Tuesday but just wanted to speak to someone who knows how I feel before then as I'm really not coping. Thanks

Coping with loss of young parent through suicide

replies: 2

Recently I lost my mother (my best friend) to a horrible suicide and to make it worse she this was her second attempt but this one left me completed blind. We spoke everyday and I thought we were confiding to each other about everything and I thought... View more

Recently I lost my mother (my best friend) to a horrible suicide and to make it worse she this was her second attempt but this one left me completed blind. We spoke everyday and I thought we were confiding to each other about everything and I thought she was finally staring to get the help she needed. She was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder and was prone to rapid mood swings and also unfortunately like many, was a drinker (wine or whatever she could get her hands on). I'm at the stage that I keep blaming myself for missing the signs and for not being there to prevent it happening. I tried so hard to help her but she refused to admit there was a problem on any count - she experienced a hard life and at one stage was put on anti depression tablets - unsure if correct dosage but with drinking I guess that's hard to know. But basically I can't make sense of her passing and am struggling to do the most basic things in my own life. I just miss her so intently and and feel like I'm in a million pieces but half my soul has gone. I'm just unable to cope with the grief and was wandering if anyone who has gone through something similar can offer me advice on how to deal immediately? I am waiting on professional grief counselling but I'm also scared that I too may have the disorder as I sense I am changing and rational thoughts are rare. If any one can other some words of wisdom - please help xo

Mum died in a car crash

replies: 3

I'm only a kid, last year in October I drove to my friends house for a sleepover with mum but mum didn't get back home. She got hit by two underage 15/17 year old boys that did a hit and run but were driving 60km over the speed limit. Mums car then g... View more

I'm only a kid, last year in October I drove to my friends house for a sleepover with mum but mum didn't get back home. She got hit by two underage 15/17 year old boys that did a hit and run but were driving 60km over the speed limit. Mums car then got blown up into flames and she died straight away at the scene. I feel so sad since and don't know how to feel. Also my mum was and always will be my bestfriend I told her everything. She put everyone first and herself very far second, very loyal, happy, and funny lady that I adore so much. In 2015 she also tried committing suicide so was in hospital for over 9 months getting therapy. She only just conquered that horrible experience and for this to happen its ruin my families lives completely. WHAT TO DO NOW... I DONT KNOW

Never felt grief like this before

replies: 3

Hi everyone, I am struggling right now. My mum passed away 5 weeks ago and I have become the carer for my Autistic sister. She is in respite care but I have a long list of things to do with the house and my sister. My dad passed away 12 years ago so ... View more

Hi everyone, I am struggling right now. My mum passed away 5 weeks ago and I have become the carer for my Autistic sister. She is in respite care but I have a long list of things to do with the house and my sister. My dad passed away 12 years ago so I am it!! I thought I was coping ok till this week. My doc says that I am mentally paralysed, my mind is racing at a thousand miles an hour but I can't do anything or make a decision. Yesterday I was getting my two kids ready for school and my heart started racing and I started panicking. The last two days I can't seem to calm my heart down. It feels like I am running a race. I imagine I am having a panic attack but I dont know as I have never had one before. I am so scared of doing anything and making decisions. My husband is wonderful but I can also see he is getting frustrated at me. I am lost and don't know where to turn. I wake up crying in the middle of the night and all I want to do is hide away. I know this is not normal but right now I have to hide, hiding feels normal. I know I am in a hole but everyone is telling me to move ahead slowly. I just want to stay here..not move and cry. I am hoping people on here have felt the same.

Loss and compilations after a family death by suicide

replies: 2

Last year my sister decided to take her life, leaving behind a newborn behind. It's been over half a year and I don't think I have made any progress with feeling, understanding or processing what has happened. Of late, there have been waves of confus... View more

Last year my sister decided to take her life, leaving behind a newborn behind. It's been over half a year and I don't think I have made any progress with feeling, understanding or processing what has happened. Of late, there have been waves of confusion and disbelief. Which I can know can be expected, but it doesn't make it any easier. The husbands family have been open and welcoming with us to come and visit, spending time with baby, which we deeply appreciate. It's with the tiny moments in between everything that I find to be most confronting. That feeling that we, as family to the child, play a disconnected role, one that feels like distant cousins that show up once a year, with no real influence or care for the child. With attempts at feeding, changing or taking a more active role sometimes brushed to the side or overseen. I guess I can see it's still early days, and that the husband and family are clutching onto baby as it's all he has left, but what about us? Baby is our only connection to who we have lost. What are the politics and processes for such a complicated situation? What I see immediately is that we need to saturate, just to get close and make the impression that we are here, and we want a more active role.

Coping with loss after a suicide

replies: 2

Hello. sorry I'm a new member and if I've posted this in the wrong place, moderators please feel free to remove this. I lost a best friend three months ago due to suicide, unfortunately I found him after he had taken his life. I live in a small commu... View more

Hello. sorry I'm a new member and if I've posted this in the wrong place, moderators please feel free to remove this. I lost a best friend three months ago due to suicide, unfortunately I found him after he had taken his life. I live in a small community and the support I've received is amazing but I'm yet to open up about how I'm feeling, simply because I don't know how to feel. I've completely avoided coming to terms with what has happened and I've put all my energy into making sure everyone else around me is dealing with it. recently another close friend has been self harming and the thought of losing her is keeping me awake at night. It's draining me. my question is, has anyone got any advice or tips that'll help me get back to my normal self. I know it won't be an easy process but I need to do something. I'm sorry if I've triggered or offended anyone. Thank you.

I lost a friend to suicide

replies: 16

My heart is broken my darling friend Alen decided to take his own life over the weekend he was the sweetest soul never hurt anyone. Survivor of childhood abuse Who fought every day of his life to try and overcome it. I'm so sorry baby I wished you ha... View more

My heart is broken my darling friend Alen decided to take his own life over the weekend he was the sweetest soul never hurt anyone. Survivor of childhood abuse Who fought every day of his life to try and overcome it. I'm so sorry baby I wished you had of called me oh told you I was here for you any time I love you forever I will miss you xxxxxxxxx

Pinned discussions

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section

replies: 0

All discussions

I lost my 4-year-old daughter

replies: 37

Lost my brother

replies: 25

Is grief a trigger for bipolar II

replies: 3

Sudden loss of father

replies: 28

Coping with loss of young parent through suicide

replies: 2

Mum died in a car crash

replies: 3

Never felt grief like this before

replies: 3

Loss and compilations after a family death by suicide

replies: 2

Coping with loss after a suicide

replies: 2

I lost a friend to suicide

replies: 16

Grief and loss

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section replies: 0

I lost my 4-year-old daughter replies: 37

Lost my brother replies: 25

Is grief a trigger for bipolar II replies: 3

Sudden loss of father replies: 28

Coping with loss of young parent through suicide replies: 2

Mum died in a car crash replies: 3

Never felt grief like this before replies: 3

Loss and compilations after a family death by suicide replies: 2

Coping with loss after a suicide replies: 2

I lost a friend to suicide replies: 16

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section

replies: 0

I lost my 4-year-old daughter

replies: 37

Lost my brother

replies: 25

Is grief a trigger for bipolar II

replies: 3

Sudden loss of father

replies: 28

Coping with loss of young parent through suicide

replies: 2

Mum died in a car crash

replies: 3

Never felt grief like this before

replies: 3

Loss and compilations after a family death by suicide

replies: 2

Coping with loss after a suicide

replies: 2

I lost a friend to suicide

replies: 16