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BeyondBlue Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 0

Hey there,Welcome to the Grief and Loss section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This section is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you- providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and annivers... View more

Hey there,Welcome to the Grief and Loss section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This section is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you- providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This - and anything in between - is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to share your grief, and let others support you. Please be aware that discussions in this section of the Forums may include references to self-harm and suicide. Treat yourself gently as you read through this section. If need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Griefline – between 8am and 8pm (AEST), call 1300 845 745 to chat with a specially trained volunteer You are not alone in this, and we are here to support one another. Thank you for being here. Kind regards,Beyond Blue

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T00much Double Loss...why me
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone , didnt think I'd have to go thorough this again , but here I am . 6 years ago , my wife of 20 years passed away after an 8 year battle with cancer . Her loss wasn't completely unexpected but devastating , nonetheless . I did seek counsel... View more

Hi everyone , didnt think I'd have to go thorough this again , but here I am . 6 years ago , my wife of 20 years passed away after an 8 year battle with cancer . Her loss wasn't completely unexpected but devastating , nonetheless . I did seek counselling and it did help . 12 months on , I met and fell in love with a wonderful woman and fell madly in love with her .She had her demons but we were happy . A couple of Saturdays ago , her elderly mother passed away and she took it terribly . 3 days later she was rushed to emergency , and while very unwell , not in my worst nightmare did I imagine her , too , passing away . Totally unexpected , and I am so lost and broken . Has anyone else suffered the loss of two life partners and how the hell do you cope . Cheers in advance for any advice

Scotty1256 Wondering how to deal with my depression after the loss of my nan.
  • replies: 3

Hi all, Im not sure if I'm posting in the right category, but in 2009 I lost my nan, at that time I was only 9 and so I didn't really understand what was happening. But I remember everything like it was yesterday. Since I've become older and more mat... View more

Hi all, Im not sure if I'm posting in the right category, but in 2009 I lost my nan, at that time I was only 9 and so I didn't really understand what was happening. But I remember everything like it was yesterday. Since I've become older and more mature I've started to understand things better and I really wish I hadn't have. This is due to the loss of my nan (8 years ago) taking a massive toll on me in this current day and age. I'm really unsure how to cope with it. The reason I feel I'm so upset about it is because, My nan was my bestfriend i was so close with her its taken me this long to actually feel anything. I'm currently in year 12 and everything's becoming more and more stressful. I can't talk to my parents or siblings about my nan because it hurts them as much as it hurts me. Is it normal to think "am I doing the right thing?" I've gone to a psychologist but she couldn't help me.

SilvaDragon Help & Suggestions required: 1st Anniversary of Mum's death
  • replies: 3

Hey Guys. am new to the Forum. Have suffered Depression most of my life & diagnosed with BiPolar about 10 years ago. Medication mix has been great & I've been coping with Life etc well. Wednesday this week, 2nd August, is the 1st Anniversary of my Mo... View more

Hey Guys. am new to the Forum. Have suffered Depression most of my life & diagnosed with BiPolar about 10 years ago. Medication mix has been great & I've been coping with Life etc well. Wednesday this week, 2nd August, is the 1st Anniversary of my Mother's Death. it was a strained relationship, with lots of verbal abuse over many years. She was a negative, nasty person in her final years, mainly brought about by my Father leaving her after 47 odd years of marriage. (He became the biggest bastard in the world as she continued to be negative) She was a control freak, like her mother before her, & because I did what She did, break the rules & become a stronger person & live my life the way I wanted to, including giving up 2 careers because she took control & manipulated a situation & took my kids off me back in the early 80's, I was the worst person in the world. My brother & my son were the shining lights in her life as she was a product of her generation & very much a male orientated person. Us Girls were always in trouble etc. all the bloody time.... so after looking after her in her last months, getting her the care she needed & into an aged care facility, visiting every day etc, the final logical thing she said to was abuse. she died 4 days later. My brother, sis in law & I were all with her as she passed quietly & peacefully, for which I am thankful. I am in such a mess with my thoughts. I'm very flat, after being so good for so long, I'm not sleeping, I'm writing down what I can i n my diary. Trying to keep busy & do things around the house, looking after my daughter & the kids as well at the moment. it's Star Trek Sunday at the moment so I'm distracting myself with my Star Trek as well. I would welcome Ideas of how to cope over the next few days. I hope I can take on board your suggestions. Keep well, people. Peace & Long LIfe.

Tamerah Accumulative grief and Aspergers
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone, I've never written on a forum before so I hope I'm doing it correctly. I'm a 47 yr old female with a long history of depression and social anxiety. I’m in a relationship with someone I believe has Aspergers. He displays many of those tra... View more

Hi everyone, I've never written on a forum before so I hope I'm doing it correctly. I'm a 47 yr old female with a long history of depression and social anxiety. I’m in a relationship with someone I believe has Aspergers. He displays many of those traits, in particular an astounding lack of empathy. We’ve been together for just under 2 years. We’ve been living together for 4 months. 3 months ago my little brother suddenly passed away. Last weekend my father was diagnosed with aggressive terminal cancer. The one thing I need right now is empathy. While I love my partner, his inability to accept that I'm in a lot of pain is destroying that love. I find myself avoiding going home because I just don't want to deal with it. I want to move out but everyone I talk to says I shouldn't make any rash decisions at this point in time. My question is - how do I stay where I am when things are only going to get more painful for me? I'm fearful that keeping the status quo is only going to cause another mental breakdown and this is the very last thing my mother needs. Thoughts and suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.

RedRiver How to help my kids with grief when I'm struggling too
  • replies: 8

Hi My husband suicided 17mths ago and I am trying to help my children deal with their grief but struggle myself. I have 4 daughters, 3 still at home. We all still have trouble understanding his suicide and go through times of depression but I really ... View more

Hi My husband suicided 17mths ago and I am trying to help my children deal with their grief but struggle myself. I have 4 daughters, 3 still at home. We all still have trouble understanding his suicide and go through times of depression but I really worry about them. The youngest spends so much time by herself in her room and only seems to enjoy watching YouTube videos. A week ago she told her friends she wanted to kill herself. My 15yr old has OCD and was diagnosed before his death but now her anxieties are consuming her. She doesn't sleep very well and mostly sleeps with me. Sometimes she can't eat breakfast because she is too anxious about going to school. She won't eat much at school either and then binges in the afternoon because she is hungry. My 17yr old seems to be doing OK at the moment but she gets quite depressed too. A few months after her Dad's death she said she thought suicide was inevitable for her. My oldest is getting married in 3 weeks but she is unhappy sometimes and can't say why. I also worry that her fiancé has some anger/control issues. He is a nice guy and has been very supportive of her but I have seen him try to physically restrain her when she is upset and he has left bruises when he holds her. I know this is a lot and I know that there is no quick solutions but I was hoping for some advice to try and some moral support. I am not doing so good myself and would appreciate some positive thoughts from others. Thanks

RiderOnTheStorm Problems growing exponentially after my friend's suicide.
  • replies: 2

Hi, Beyond Blue. I am an extremely smart and popular student from a great middle class family. I am, also, an emotionally unstable bisexual alcoholic (or close to becoming one), who can not miss a chance to take something stronger than liqour to kill... View more

Hi, Beyond Blue. I am an extremely smart and popular student from a great middle class family. I am, also, an emotionally unstable bisexual alcoholic (or close to becoming one), who can not miss a chance to take something stronger than liqour to kill the pain and void, which I often feel since I was 13, or to make my anomalously high level of unreasonable happiness even higher. Around two weeks ago, while experiencing that "anomalously high level of unreasonable happiness", I learned that my... friend... commited suicide. We did not talk for over than a year, because of some argument. And, actually, she was probably the person to which my feelings were closest to "love". At first couple of days these news went pretty unnoticed to me. It did not matter much to me, as I was completing each of my difficult assignemnts, which usually take me ages to finish, in less than 3 hours, partying, having great time with my lover. Then, however, the realisation have started coming down on me. Instead of the study, that I planned for one evening, I broke up with my lover over the phone, went to the club, danced, drank excessive amounts of alcohol, had sex with another guy, who I knew just for 15 minutes. In another couple of days as my maniacal happiness was continuing I was continuing to party, consume drugs and engaging in risky behavior, still trying to hide those news. As that time, as everythig good, came to an end, and I returned to having a normal, but slow, life. Still, however, I was trying not to think about what two days ago dropped me into this void of drunken misery. I regret so much. I regret that we were not together this year and last. Hell, I don't know what to do, and even my abuse of alcohol doesn't get me out of this mess for even, at least, a couple of hours. ​

demonblaster Lost my partner recently to Luekaemia (Cancer )(blood)
  • replies: 27

My darling of 28 yrs recently passed away from Leukaemia. He had 7 ish months of chemo, copped an absolute flogging and just kept hacking it. He was an absolute hero throughout.Nearly died 3 times. We knew it'd come back but not as quick as it did. H... View more

My darling of 28 yrs recently passed away from Leukaemia. He had 7 ish months of chemo, copped an absolute flogging and just kept hacking it. He was an absolute hero throughout.Nearly died 3 times. We knew it'd come back but not as quick as it did. He got about 5 wks back home and was told he had less than a month to live. Imagine hearing that. It's really hard. I miss him terribly. Can't fully comprehend he's not coming back. We were happy and lucky to have each other but that's hard to think about atm. The mind's an amazing thing and protects you from the pain. I have Bipolar so that certainly gives me a dose of pain when on the down side. I've seen small changes in the grieving process.(Moving through). Got good friends but sometimes it's just too hard to fathom or want to for that matter. Love him sooo much. Not bloody fair.

Shelly13 Seeking support for the victims of depression and suicide (family and spouses left behind).
  • replies: 3

Hi, My husband committed suicide and I would like to know if there are any organisations helping the victims. Because with every suicide there is far more victims left behind with the potential of depression to follow. My husband was hospitalized twi... View more

Hi, My husband committed suicide and I would like to know if there are any organisations helping the victims. Because with every suicide there is far more victims left behind with the potential of depression to follow. My husband was hospitalized twice and not once did the hospital call me in to talk to them about what was going on at home and warning me of possible warning signs. I tried with the psychiatrist and he was not interested in anything but medication. He did not visit the home once. His psychologist appointed by the hospital told me when I rang him the day he died that he could not get Michael to talk. (Drrrrr). He did not ask me how I was, he just got defensive. His GP said that he should of had shock treatment when I called her. NO ONE ask how I or my children were going. I am looking after myself with regular physiologist's help. I have done that on my own. I have looked on both The Black Dog website and Beyond blue and there is nothing there. I was wondering if there are any others out there like myself.I would love to be able to talk to someone with the same experience with the suicide of there partner.

3T I lost my 4-year-old daughter
  • replies: 37

This is my first post in here. I've tried to find a support group. my youngest daughter choked at home and died 3 years ago, she was four. my life has turned upside down with grief ,guilt and hopelessness.. I've tried to find support but have had a b... View more

This is my first post in here. I've tried to find a support group. my youngest daughter choked at home and died 3 years ago, she was four. my life has turned upside down with grief ,guilt and hopelessness.. I've tried to find support but have had a bad experience with counsellor so have given up taking that path and thought i would give this a try. I don't recognise my self or my family anymore and the person I was before she got her wings died with her . I don't known what to do anymore or if life is going to get better....I have never felt more alone and out of place in my life

Jackson1994 Lost my brother
  • replies: 25

In 2015 my younger brother died I'm still struggling with this sometimes it's nice to just talk about him with other people sounds so weird but it helps to remember the good bits

In 2015 my younger brother died I'm still struggling with this sometimes it's nice to just talk about him with other people sounds so weird but it helps to remember the good bits

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