Grief and loss

How to help my kids with grief when I'm struggling too

replies: 8

Hi My husband suicided 17mths ago and I am trying to help my children deal with their grief but struggle myself. I have 4 daughters, 3 still at home. We all still have trouble understanding his suicide and go through times of depression but I really ... View more

Hi My husband suicided 17mths ago and I am trying to help my children deal with their grief but struggle myself. I have 4 daughters, 3 still at home. We all still have trouble understanding his suicide and go through times of depression but I really worry about them. The youngest spends so much time by herself in her room and only seems to enjoy watching YouTube videos. A week ago she told her friends she wanted to kill herself. My 15yr old has OCD and was diagnosed before his death but now her anxieties are consuming her. She doesn't sleep very well and mostly sleeps with me. Sometimes she can't eat breakfast because she is too anxious about going to school. She won't eat much at school either and then binges in the afternoon because she is hungry. My 17yr old seems to be doing OK at the moment but she gets quite depressed too. A few months after her Dad's death she said she thought suicide was inevitable for her. My oldest is getting married in 3 weeks but she is unhappy sometimes and can't say why. I also worry that her fiancé has some anger/control issues. He is a nice guy and has been very supportive of her but I have seen him try to physically restrain her when she is upset and he has left bruises when he holds her. I know this is a lot and I know that there is no quick solutions but I was hoping for some advice to try and some moral support. I am not doing so good myself and would appreciate some positive thoughts from others. Thanks

Problems growing exponentially after my friend's suicide.

replies: 2

Hi, Beyond Blue. I am an extremely smart and popular student from a great middle class family. I am, also, an emotionally unstable bisexual alcoholic (or close to becoming one), who can not miss a chance to take something stronger than liqour to kill... View more

Hi, Beyond Blue. I am an extremely smart and popular student from a great middle class family. I am, also, an emotionally unstable bisexual alcoholic (or close to becoming one), who can not miss a chance to take something stronger than liqour to kill the pain and void, which I often feel since I was 13, or to make my anomalously high level of unreasonable happiness even higher. Around two weeks ago, while experiencing that "anomalously high level of unreasonable happiness", I learned that my... friend... commited suicide. We did not talk for over than a year, because of some argument. And, actually, she was probably the person to which my feelings were closest to "love". At first couple of days these news went pretty unnoticed to me. It did not matter much to me, as I was completing each of my difficult assignemnts, which usually take me ages to finish, in less than 3 hours, partying, having great time with my lover. Then, however, the realisation have started coming down on me. Instead of the study, that I planned for one evening, I broke up with my lover over the phone, went to the club, danced, drank excessive amounts of alcohol, had sex with another guy, who I knew just for 15 minutes. In another couple of days as my maniacal happiness was continuing I was continuing to party, consume drugs and engaging in risky behavior, still trying to hide those news. As that time, as everythig good, came to an end, and I returned to having a normal, but slow, life. Still, however, I was trying not to think about what two days ago dropped me into this void of drunken misery. I regret so much. I regret that we were not together this year and last. Hell, I don't know what to do, and even my abuse of alcohol doesn't get me out of this mess for even, at least, a couple of hours.

Lost my partner recently to Luekaemia (Cancer )(blood)

replies: 27

My darling of 28 yrs recently passed away from Leukaemia. He had 7 ish months of chemo, copped an absolute flogging and just kept hacking it. He was an absolute hero throughout.Nearly died 3 times. We knew it'd come back but not as quick as it did. H... View more

My darling of 28 yrs recently passed away from Leukaemia. He had 7 ish months of chemo, copped an absolute flogging and just kept hacking it. He was an absolute hero throughout.Nearly died 3 times. We knew it'd come back but not as quick as it did. He got about 5 wks back home and was told he had less than a month to live. Imagine hearing that. It's really hard. I miss him terribly. Can't fully comprehend he's not coming back. We were happy and lucky to have each other but that's hard to think about atm. The mind's an amazing thing and protects you from the pain. I have Bipolar so that certainly gives me a dose of pain when on the down side. I've seen small changes in the grieving process.(Moving through). Got good friends but sometimes it's just too hard to fathom or want to for that matter. Love him sooo much. Not bloody fair.

Seeking support for the victims of depression and suicide (family and spouses left behind).

replies: 3

Hi, My husband committed suicide and I would like to know if there are any organisations helping the victims. Because with every suicide there is far more victims left behind with the potential of depression to follow. My husband was hospitalized twi... View more

Hi, My husband committed suicide and I would like to know if there are any organisations helping the victims. Because with every suicide there is far more victims left behind with the potential of depression to follow. My husband was hospitalized twice and not once did the hospital call me in to talk to them about what was going on at home and warning me of possible warning signs. I tried with the psychiatrist and he was not interested in anything but medication. He did not visit the home once. His psychologist appointed by the hospital told me when I rang him the day he died that he could not get Michael to talk. (Drrrrr). He did not ask me how I was, he just got defensive. His GP said that he should of had shock treatment when I called her. NO ONE ask how I or my children were going. I am looking after myself with regular physiologist's help. I have done that on my own. I have looked on both The Black Dog website and Beyond blue and there is nothing there. I was wondering if there are any others out there like myself.I would love to be able to talk to someone with the same experience with the suicide of there partner.

I lost my 4-year-old daughter

replies: 37

This is my first post in here. I've tried to find a support group. my youngest daughter choked at home and died 3 years ago, she was four. my life has turned upside down with grief ,guilt and hopelessness.. I've tried to find support but have had a b... View more

This is my first post in here. I've tried to find a support group. my youngest daughter choked at home and died 3 years ago, she was four. my life has turned upside down with grief ,guilt and hopelessness.. I've tried to find support but have had a bad experience with counsellor so have given up taking that path and thought i would give this a try. I don't recognise my self or my family anymore and the person I was before she got her wings died with her . I don't known what to do anymore or if life is going to get better....I have never felt more alone and out of place in my life

Lost my brother

replies: 25

In 2015 my younger brother died I'm still struggling with this sometimes it's nice to just talk about him with other people sounds so weird but it helps to remember the good bits

Is grief a trigger for bipolar II

replies: 3

Hi everyone I'm new here and this is my first post. I was diagnosed with bipolar ii disorder in November 2016. My mum has just had exploratory surgery where a large inoperable tumour mass was found. It's believed to be secondary breast cancer which s... View more

Hi everyone I'm new here and this is my first post. I was diagnosed with bipolar ii disorder in November 2016. My mum has just had exploratory surgery where a large inoperable tumour mass was found. It's believed to be secondary breast cancer which she battled 7 years ago. We are currently awaiting pathology results to see how and if it can be treatment. In any case she won't survive this but hopefully buy some time. Im very close to my mum except for last year where she didn't understand mental health and I kept my distance and never told her my diagnosis as I knew she wouldn't cope with it. I feel sad for the arguments we had and the lost time. I feel responsible for it all and my illness and I'm angry I got sick. I was very suicidal and incorrectly treatment with antidepressants which made things a when lot worse. I'm lucky to be alive and my mum doesn't know the half of it. I don't regret keeping it from her but believe I should have handled it better and kept a better relationship with her. I feel guilt as now my time is limited with her. I've been medicated since December slowly increasing on an anti epileptic which is good for BP ii. I finally got to the correct dose in February and things have been better and more stable. Combined with counselling. But I haven't been able to sleep with my mind racing and I just randomly cry and go from crying to focussed that we can fight this. I feel confused and I don't know if this is normal or whether the bp ii is making my moods go all over the place. I don't know if this is triggering issues and I don't know how I'm going to cope with this. I have two little boys under 6 and not working as I gave up my career last year when I got sick but was hoping to return to it this year. I can't afford to fall apart for their sake. Anyone help Me? Thank you x

Sudden loss of father

replies: 28

My father, who was also my best friend, passed away suddenly just over a week ago. We have been extremely close since my mother passed away from cancer when I was 18. The ambulance I called was unable to get to him as his house is hard to access, I e... View more

My father, who was also my best friend, passed away suddenly just over a week ago. We have been extremely close since my mother passed away from cancer when I was 18. The ambulance I called was unable to get to him as his house is hard to access, I ended up finding him unresponsive, they said it was a heart attack. He has a long and complicated medical history and has survived a heart attack before. I am having flashbacks to finding him and trying to wake him and am experiencing extreme feelings of guilt for not getting to him soon enough, I had spoken to him a few hours earlier and he said he was short of breath and to see if he could move his doctor's appointment a few days earlier, they couldn't and said if he should go to hospital, he said he would see how he went, I kept calling him every 20 minutes and he eventually said he would get ready to go to hospital and call me back. He didn't and I couldn't get a hold of him so I called and told the ambulance to go there. I feel that I should have known how serious it was and ignored him telling me he was ok and just got them there earlier, I was at work about half an hour away on the train which is why it took me awhile to get to him. I miss him so much and whilst my husband (who was also very close to my dad) is being amazing, my mentally disabled sister who was in my dad's care has come to live with us and he is great with her, I can't see how I will ever feel ok again and be able to move on. It feels like a piece of me has died with him. I am seeing a counsellor on Tuesday but just wanted to speak to someone who knows how I feel before then as I'm really not coping. Thanks

Coping with loss of young parent through suicide

replies: 2

Recently I lost my mother (my best friend) to a horrible suicide and to make it worse she this was her second attempt but this one left me completed blind. We spoke everyday and I thought we were confiding to each other about everything and I thought... View more

Recently I lost my mother (my best friend) to a horrible suicide and to make it worse she this was her second attempt but this one left me completed blind. We spoke everyday and I thought we were confiding to each other about everything and I thought she was finally staring to get the help she needed. She was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder and was prone to rapid mood swings and also unfortunately like many, was a drinker (wine or whatever she could get her hands on). I'm at the stage that I keep blaming myself for missing the signs and for not being there to prevent it happening. I tried so hard to help her but she refused to admit there was a problem on any count - she experienced a hard life and at one stage was put on anti depression tablets - unsure if correct dosage but with drinking I guess that's hard to know. But basically I can't make sense of her passing and am struggling to do the most basic things in my own life. I just miss her so intently and and feel like I'm in a million pieces but half my soul has gone. I'm just unable to cope with the grief and was wandering if anyone who has gone through something similar can offer me advice on how to deal immediately? I am waiting on professional grief counselling but I'm also scared that I too may have the disorder as I sense I am changing and rational thoughts are rare. If any one can other some words of wisdom - please help xo

Mum died in a car crash

replies: 3

I'm only a kid, last year in October I drove to my friends house for a sleepover with mum but mum didn't get back home. She got hit by two underage 15/17 year old boys that did a hit and run but were driving 60km over the speed limit. Mums car then g... View more

I'm only a kid, last year in October I drove to my friends house for a sleepover with mum but mum didn't get back home. She got hit by two underage 15/17 year old boys that did a hit and run but were driving 60km over the speed limit. Mums car then got blown up into flames and she died straight away at the scene. I feel so sad since and don't know how to feel. Also my mum was and always will be my bestfriend I told her everything. She put everyone first and herself very far second, very loyal, happy, and funny lady that I adore so much. In 2015 she also tried committing suicide so was in hospital for over 9 months getting therapy. She only just conquered that horrible experience and for this to happen its ruin my families lives completely. WHAT TO DO NOW... I DONT KNOW

Pinned discussions

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section

replies: 0

All discussions

How to help my kids with grief when I'm struggling too

replies: 8

Problems growing exponentially after my friend's suicide.

replies: 2

Lost my partner recently to Luekaemia (Cancer )(blood)

replies: 27

Seeking support for the victims of depression and suicide (family and spouses left behind).

replies: 3

I lost my 4-year-old daughter

replies: 37

Lost my brother

replies: 25

Is grief a trigger for bipolar II

replies: 3

Sudden loss of father

replies: 28

Coping with loss of young parent through suicide

replies: 2

Mum died in a car crash

replies: 3

Grief and loss

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section replies: 0

How to help my kids with grief when I'm struggling too replies: 8

Problems growing exponentially after my friend's suicide. replies: 2

Lost my partner recently to Luekaemia (Cancer )(blood) replies: 27

Seeking support for the victims of depression and suicide (family and spouses left behind). replies: 3

I lost my 4-year-old daughter replies: 37

Lost my brother replies: 25

Is grief a trigger for bipolar II replies: 3

Sudden loss of father replies: 28

Coping with loss of young parent through suicide replies: 2

Mum died in a car crash replies: 3

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section

replies: 0

How to help my kids with grief when I'm struggling too

replies: 8

Problems growing exponentially after my friend's suicide.

replies: 2

Lost my partner recently to Luekaemia (Cancer )(blood)

replies: 27

Seeking support for the victims of depression and suicide (family and spouses left behind).

replies: 3

I lost my 4-year-old daughter

replies: 37

Lost my brother

replies: 25

Is grief a trigger for bipolar II

replies: 3

Sudden loss of father

replies: 28

Coping with loss of young parent through suicide

replies: 2

Mum died in a car crash

replies: 3