Grief and loss

how do we just... continue?

replies: 6

Hi, my names Wade, im 29 and i have a 5 year old son. This year has shaken our world and changed the outcomes of our lives. In March, we lost our rock, our guide, the third piece of our family jigsaw puzzle. My partner of 10 years, my sons mother, pa... View more

Hi, my names Wade, im 29 and i have a 5 year old son. This year has shaken our world and changed the outcomes of our lives. In March, we lost our rock, our guide, the third piece of our family jigsaw puzzle. My partner of 10 years, my sons mother, passed away due to a sudden asthma attack at our family house. Unable to help, and having to watch it all take place is a realm i wish no one enters. Whats even worse, the paramedics came, before her fatal cardiac arrest, and mistreated my girl, because she was only 25 years old, fit and healthy in every other way, the paramedics assumed a panic attack and made her walk! to an elevator and down 6 stairs, even though she begged them not to move her, even though she told them 'i feel like i will die if you move me' clearly if you cannot breathe, your going to panic right? this i will never understand. The paramedics had all the information in front of them, they knew they were there for asthma, yet while inside they took no vital observations, did not monitor the heart, or even use a stethoscope. The assumption of a panic attack was made within the first minute of speaking with her, and that choice to move her without observations was fatal. I am currently going threw investigations with the QAS and Health Ombudsman , which will prolong my experience even further. I want to warn you all with loved ones with asthma. Asthmatics get good at living with their condition, so good they can hide and mask how bad they really are. My girl was an expert at this, and when the paramedics arrived she was able to converse in full sentences without a wheeze, this is 10 minutes before a cardiac arrest. First assessment no one would no she had asthma, even though she said she was worried about it and wanted it checked up, but they didn't want that, they wanted her to walk to the ambulance so they could get her to hospital in case it was to progress. Seems fair, but the moment she stood up, tears ran down her face and she knew it was not right, and begged for them to help her. Arrogant young paramedics kept telling her to calm down, your asthma is fine there no wheeze, your just having a panic attack. The way i see this, if she was 80 years old, and she said she feels like she will die, they would not have moved her. The asthma was there, and always the concern, but had the paramedics spent a bit of time and done an examination, they wouldnt have moved her, and maybe avoiding the arrest.

Dealing with Suicide Grief

replies: 4

Hello, nearly exactly one year ago the father of our daughter, who will be turning 6 in September, took his own life. We were not together as a couple for around 2 years leading up to his suicide as he became agitated and frustrated and threatened my... View more

Hello, nearly exactly one year ago the father of our daughter, who will be turning 6 in September, took his own life. We were not together as a couple for around 2 years leading up to his suicide as he became agitated and frustrated and threatened my safety and my daughters. 2 months leading up to his death we had a massive argument which lead me to seek legal advice after a violent outburst in front of our daughter/ smashing my phone (not the first phone he had smashed) but our daughter was older and understood and still to this day brings it up. I never wanted things to end like they did as I loved him so much/ I just feel like I pushed him too hard and he couldn’t handle it anymore. I still can’t make piece with the fact that he was so desperate he killed himself and left behind his family and friends but most of all his beautiful daughter. I cry so much as I’m so overwhelmed/ I work full time, raise or daughter by myself, run a household and take care of me too/ I feel like breaking most days.... I do have a great support network and I do reach out when I feel I need help with practical things but the grieving isn’t over for me. I do have a psychologist for both myself and my daughter, I wish I could talk more to my family friends though. It feels as if a time frame has been put on my grieving and I still feel like I haven’t even began.....

I feel lost without my parents

replies: 3

Hello all, Im 28 years old and I’ve lost both my parents. I lost my dad to cancer in 2010 and then my mum to suicide in 2017. I had a great relationship with both my parents and mostly with my mum who was my best friend. My mum had bipolar. Despite t... View more

Hello all, Im 28 years old and I’ve lost both my parents. I lost my dad to cancer in 2010 and then my mum to suicide in 2017. I had a great relationship with both my parents and mostly with my mum who was my best friend. My mum had bipolar. Despite this she was an amazing mum and did so much for me and my siblings. I am yet to have children or get married but I have an amazing partner who I plan to do both with over the coming years. I understand why my mum suicided. But knowing why doesn’t really bring me much comfort. I feel empty and lost. I miss both my parents terribly and even though it’s been 9 years since I lost my dad and 2 years since I lost my mum the pain is still so raw. I have times where I feel really positive and excited for life but then I have real down times where I don’t feel anything and I shut off from my friends and the world. I’m on medication to help my anxiety which I’ve suffered with for a long time. It got really bad about a year after losing my mum and I decided I needed help. It helped lots but I feel like I’m back at that place. I’ve deleted all social media and I’m avoiding the world and hiding away like I don’t exist. Do you ever ask yourself why you....why has this happened to me...it’s unfair! I just need to know other people feel the same way as me and understand this empty feeling I have inside me. Thanks for listening! Xx

Mothers Day 2019

replies: 8

Tomorrow another year to remember my lovely gentle soul mother who would have been 98 this year. She had the most gentle kind nature and I am proud to call her mum, friend, ally and more. She was the world to me and miss her. It will be 4 years in Ju... View more

Tomorrow another year to remember my lovely gentle soul mother who would have been 98 this year. She had the most gentle kind nature and I am proud to call her mum, friend, ally and more. She was the world to me and miss her. It will be 4 years in July exactly 5 days after my birthday and though time fades, never my memory of her. She always supported me through my days before I got diagnosed with major depression. All the ups and downs she remained true. I am truly thankful for my 4.9 (no. 5' tall mum would insist. ha ha) tall mum. How I enjoyed our outings together, our sense of humour and the love she gave me. Thank you mum for all the good times. I remember when I got angry, she would say talk it out as its better to have an empty house than a bad tenant - meaning don't let all the anger stay inside. I will visit the cemetery and have my memories and remember. Enjoy your mothers every day not just one day a year. Life is too short. Will be glad when I can join her someday.

PPROM survivor niece died yesterday. Help!

replies: 2

My gorgeouse niece left us yesterday, she died in her fathers arms. I have taken care of her full time since she was released from NICU in Janauary. She basically was my daughter, even my sister, her mum, said this is so. They had to call the Ambulan... View more

My gorgeouse niece left us yesterday, she died in her fathers arms. I have taken care of her full time since she was released from NICU in Janauary. She basically was my daughter, even my sister, her mum, said this is so. They had to call the Ambulance on me as I triggered a anxiety attack that put me into shock. I could hear and see everyone but couldn't communicate. Everyone's worried about me but all I keep thinking about is my beautiful niece. I cannot sleep, I've surrounded myself with her clothes and toys and just piled them on me. I have all her stuff throughout my house. My car has her childseat. I'm broken. I don't know if I'm strong enough to not slip back into full blown depression and anxiety again. Seeing my other new born niece today and holding her I just kept thinking of how my other niece would hold my fingers like that and how I would look into her eyes. Please someone just talk to me.

Grief after blighted ovum

replies: 1

I'd like to share my recent experience with a blighted ovum. I haven't been able to find much online support so thought i would share here in the hopes of talking to others. Like alot of people, i had never heard of a blighted ovum before. I started ... View more

I'd like to share my recent experience with a blighted ovum. I haven't been able to find much online support so thought i would share here in the hopes of talking to others. Like alot of people, i had never heard of a blighted ovum before. I started to love my baby and get excited and plan for the future like most women do when they get that first positive test. But to find out at 6 weeks that there was no baby growing, but having all the symptoms of pregnancy, to then have to go through the process of a miscarriage, was traumatic for me to say the least. It put alot of pressure on my relationship too as my husband and i came to terms with what was happening. We didn't handle it well which added to the pressure and sadness. It is such a difficult thing to go through and im finding there is really no support for women like us. I know i am not alone in this experience and would love advice on moving forward.

First time poster

replies: 1

Hi, Don't know really where to start or what to say. But I guess my current struggles are with losing my Dad a couple of months ago to cancer. My Dad is my hero. Like most girls Dad's are. When my Dad got really sick and we knew we only had a few mon... View more

Hi, Don't know really where to start or what to say. But I guess my current struggles are with losing my Dad a couple of months ago to cancer. My Dad is my hero. Like most girls Dad's are. When my Dad got really sick and we knew we only had a few months left with him, I moved home to help my Mum care for him and to spend as much time with him as I could. But that entire month I was there, it was so hard as I watching my hero deteriorate. I watched him take his last breath and sat with him and told him how much I loved him. I just miss him. Miss him more and more every day. I feel like since losing him I have lost my will, strength and determination. All the things he instilled in us as kids. I have no drive at work, I keep making mistakes in life and I am so angry at the world. Something little will set me off and then I feel embarrassed for my going crazy and yelling at people. I feel like a failure all the time and that I'm just a crappy human. I just feel really lost and if he was alive I'd be letting him down with how I am acting. He wouldn't be proud of me and that makes me more upset.

I miss my mum

replies: 1

My mum suffered from severe depression and bi polar disorder . I always thought she was going to get better but after a 15 year struggle and after us kids trying everything to help , she took her own life at the age of 61. Her later life was one of u... View more

My mum suffered from severe depression and bi polar disorder . I always thought she was going to get better but after a 15 year struggle and after us kids trying everything to help , she took her own life at the age of 61. Her later life was one of utter suffering everyday she lived in loneliness and isolation . We would visit as often as we could but Mum was Usually very intoxicated on prescription medication and alcohol. This is the lady that cared for me when I was young , she did love me but she had been taken . I tried so hard in the hope that Mum would get better but it was not to be . I look into the eyes of my boy who was born 2 months after my mum died and know that Mum would have loved him . The feeling now without her is sadness at the level of suffering and loneliness she went through every day . When death came she was alone , she would have been so scared .. .

Anger from miscarriage

replies: 2

Hi everyone, I had a miscarriage 12 months ago - I’m 40 years old. It’s turned me into a completely different person! I’m always angry, so angry. It’s turned me off any kind of intimacy with my husband and I just feel down and angry all the time. As ... View more

Hi everyone, I had a miscarriage 12 months ago - I’m 40 years old. It’s turned me into a completely different person! I’m always angry, so angry. It’s turned me off any kind of intimacy with my husband and I just feel down and angry all the time. As the months go on I get more angry as I realize i am further away from having another child - time is not on my side plus I’m tired all the time. My daughter is 3 but I really wanted a second child. I’ve been grappling with the idea that perhaps a bit of depression is creeping in......... should I go and see a GP?

Recovering

replies: 5

Hi i am new here. I am recovering from a breakdown, hoping someone else understands and has advice. The last 3 years has been too much and i broke. Losing the 2 people who meant the most to me plus my dog, grief, sadness, disappointment took over and... View more

Hi i am new here. I am recovering from a breakdown, hoping someone else understands and has advice. The last 3 years has been too much and i broke. Losing the 2 people who meant the most to me plus my dog, grief, sadness, disappointment took over and i ended up in a black hole. I have improved somewhat but finding a new set of challenges. Now im just losing friends coz i dont meet their expectations. They offer help in the form of information and if i dont do what theyre suggesting, then it looks like i dont care. Im always misunderstood when someone is upset with me. You know what i mean? Like i really want to be like this. My body and mind are slowly recovering but it takes time. I have had major physical symptoms to the point of thinking i was dying and its all from stress. I would like to be whole again and im getting there but losing jobs and people along the way. Everytime this happens, depression gets worse and i withdraw again. Where has my fight gone, motivation? I am sick of being judged when i dont go out of my way to hurt people, just doing the best i can. Its not a lot, better than last year and its something, baby steps. People dont get it and i feel like an island.

Pinned discussions

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section

replies: 0

All discussions

how do we just... continue?

replies: 6

Dealing with Suicide Grief

replies: 4

I feel lost without my parents

replies: 3

Mothers Day 2019

replies: 8

PPROM survivor niece died yesterday. Help!

replies: 2

Grief after blighted ovum

replies: 1

First time poster

replies: 1

I miss my mum

replies: 1

Anger from miscarriage

replies: 2

Recovering

replies: 5

Grief and loss

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section replies: 0

how do we just... continue? replies: 6

Dealing with Suicide Grief replies: 4

I feel lost without my parents replies: 3

Mothers Day 2019 replies: 8

PPROM survivor niece died yesterday. Help! replies: 2

Grief after blighted ovum replies: 1

First time poster replies: 1

I miss my mum replies: 1

Anger from miscarriage replies: 2

Recovering replies: 5

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section

replies: 0

how do we just... continue?

replies: 6

Dealing with Suicide Grief

replies: 4

I feel lost without my parents

replies: 3

Mothers Day 2019

replies: 8

PPROM survivor niece died yesterday. Help!

replies: 2

Grief after blighted ovum

replies: 1

First time poster

replies: 1

I miss my mum

replies: 1

Anger from miscarriage

replies: 2

Recovering

replies: 5