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BeyondBlue Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 0

Hey there,Welcome to the Grief and Loss section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This section is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you- providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and annivers... View more

Hey there,Welcome to the Grief and Loss section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This section is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you- providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This - and anything in between - is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to share your grief, and let others support you. Please be aware that discussions in this section of the Forums may include references to self-harm and suicide. Treat yourself gently as you read through this section. If need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Griefline – between 8am and 8pm (AEST), call 1300 845 745 to chat with a specially trained volunteer You are not alone in this, and we are here to support one another. Thank you for being here. Kind regards,Beyond Blue

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dragon1 lost a soul mate
  • replies: 12

hi everyone , im not sure where to start , i have just lost my wonderful wife 6 months age , 25 years without an argument , am on antidep meds , not wanting to go out , its hard to put into words , we were able to finish each others sentences , she h... View more

hi everyone , im not sure where to start , i have just lost my wonderful wife 6 months age , 25 years without an argument , am on antidep meds , not wanting to go out , its hard to put into words , we were able to finish each others sentences , she had a stroke 4 years ago so i was her carer , the days & nights with out her a hell ,

Paul1478 My partner and Mother passed away 3 months apart
  • replies: 4

It happened 5 years ago, Toughest year of my life. My male partner of 9 years passed away in a car accident It destroyed me utterly. I kind of was dealing, Then MUM had a stroke 3 months later and died in the night. I lost it, spiraled out of control... View more

It happened 5 years ago, Toughest year of my life. My male partner of 9 years passed away in a car accident It destroyed me utterly. I kind of was dealing, Then MUM had a stroke 3 months later and died in the night. I lost it, spiraled out of control did not care anymore, I still feel lost, Just Existing not living

Lmm73 Loss of both parents
  • replies: 1

Hi all I'm new here and really looking for some support. My father died suddenly 5months ago,,the same day my first grandchild was born. My mother didnt cope at all,,,I saw her every single day to love and support her,,,she was my world,,,4 weeks ago... View more

Hi all I'm new here and really looking for some support. My father died suddenly 5months ago,,the same day my first grandchild was born. My mother didnt cope at all,,,I saw her every single day to love and support her,,,she was my world,,,4 weeks ago she decided to end it and committed suicide, I found her, I cant cope with the pain I'm feeling I cry all the time, I feel sick, cant eat and it's a struggle to get up everyday, I'm so lost and confused, I suffer PTSD, depression and anxiety and I'm scared i will end up the same way my mother did. How do you learn to live again?

clocktower Grieving for my son
  • replies: 1

My beautiful son suicided on the twelfth of May 2015, he was twenty four years old. I struggle day in and day out to stay here on this planet which I call hell. This morning I found myself crying for no reason, I haven't cried for a while but it just... View more

My beautiful son suicided on the twelfth of May 2015, he was twenty four years old. I struggle day in and day out to stay here on this planet which I call hell. This morning I found myself crying for no reason, I haven't cried for a while but it just hit me this morning. I rang my mother because I just needed to talk about anything really but she rushed me off the phone even after I had told her how I was feeling. I have no one. I live alone and I have no one. I struggle to see a point in keeping on going. I have a bone disease which causes me to break bones very easily, I currently have a broken hand and shoulder and I am so sick of pain. Physical pain every day is depressing me on top of the grief I am dealing with. I honestly do not know what to do or who to turn to.

Tam74 Narcissistic Father Dies
  • replies: 1

So my narcissistic father died .. do I go see the body at the state mortuary for some closure or not .. his death was not unexpected as he was unwell but decided to help himself along with drugs alcohol .. I felt awful and shocked and saddened it end... View more

So my narcissistic father died .. do I go see the body at the state mortuary for some closure or not .. his death was not unexpected as he was unwell but decided to help himself along with drugs alcohol .. I felt awful and shocked and saddened it ended this way I wanted to see him but next day I was angry he was a bitter twisters person now I am just sad and tired but do I go see him for some closure , will it give me closure ? I am very conflicted as I did love him , but I think I hated him also .. I am being treated for depression, and ptsd ..any advice or has anyone had to deal with a similar situation cheers Tam

name_n Surrendered our family dog & I just really miss my best friend.
  • replies: 7

So I've scoured the web for answers on why I can't shake this feeling, most pages say it's normal to feel this way but I've now felt true heartbreak so bad I feel like someone's hit me in the chest. We had two dogs. Our older family dog passed away a... View more

So I've scoured the web for answers on why I can't shake this feeling, most pages say it's normal to feel this way but I've now felt true heartbreak so bad I feel like someone's hit me in the chest. We had two dogs. Our older family dog passed away a couple of years ago, he lived a wonderful, long life. Our younger dog has always been pretty stubborn and demanding, so when we introduced a new puppy just before my 21st birthday last year, they didn't get on. Mum and dad couldn't deal with it, the two dogs fought more and more frequently and it was dangerous and unfair for everyone - especially the dogs. Mum and dad came so close to surrendering our new puppy two or three times before it actually happened. Dad got between them and he was bitten on the leg, it wasn't really major but it was clear to us all that we couldn't keep this going the way it was. I moved out of home again and then mum seriously broke her arm. To prevent anymore fighting or injuries, mum and dad surrendered the puppy to the RSPCA. At 8am on my 22nd birthday the RSPCA came and picked up my best friend. I'm unable to know who adopted him and I find myself looking out for him when I see a black and white dog. I feel as though I've lost a part of me... a gorgeous, playful and intelligent little part of me. It's been more than 6 months now and I feel exactly the same way as I did back then. I can't shake it. I've noticeably developed this ridiculous anxiety since then and don't know if I'll ever move through this. I've lost family and friends before and been able to come to terms with it; I'm just unable to comprehend that someone I've never met is out there with my puppy. On top of that, I've convinced myself that it's ridiculous that I even feel this way. Please share an opinion, story, advice. I don't know what to do with myself.

Soberlicious96 Hi from a newbie- Grieving the loss of a friend
  • replies: 4

Hi. I'm new here. Not really sure where to begin ........ I joined here for a few reasons. One is because I'm sick of Facebook and the 'same old same old' stuff that gets around on there .... I'd rather something a bit more 'real', you know? But I've... View more

Hi. I'm new here. Not really sure where to begin ........ I joined here for a few reasons. One is because I'm sick of Facebook and the 'same old same old' stuff that gets around on there .... I'd rather something a bit more 'real', you know? But I've also joined here because recently I've experienced the loss of yet another friend through suicide. And sometimes, I feel as though I'm getting too 'used to it'. this is probably now about the 10th person I know to die from suicide. But then, there are other times too when the wave of grief and shock is so overwhelming that I can barely breathe ....... Anyway, that's my story at the moment. Sorry if it's full on. Today was a pretty good day, but I'm also mindful of the funeral that is yet to come.

Em2211 Losing my Dad and partner
  • replies: 1

About 18 months ago I lost my father to bowel cancer. Watching him die was the most horrific experience of my life. He went very downhill and died within a few weeks, after living with the disease for several years. He was devastated, terrified and u... View more

About 18 months ago I lost my father to bowel cancer. Watching him die was the most horrific experience of my life. He went very downhill and died within a few weeks, after living with the disease for several years. He was devastated, terrified and unprepared. In hospital during the final days he would cry in pain and ask where he was going when he became delirious. He turned yellow and didn’t recognise me. My father remarried an awful woman 35 years younger than him and while he was ill she demanded he leave her everything in his Will, otherwise she would divorce him and take his infant daughter back to the Philippines. So me and my disabled sister had to go through a terrible legal battle after he died, just to receive a very small portion of what we were entitled to. There was really only the house left, she had drained all his savings and superannuation while he was ill. All the while my boyfriend at the time was a very emotionally detached and distant person, he tried to be there for me, but often that comprised of saying nothing and staring at me blankly. It made me feel so misunderstood and alone. A few months afterwards we broke up. I didn’t want to, I really loved him, but I just felt so unbearable sad and sick with grief and I knew he was just making me feel worse with his emotional detachment. I thought things would just disintegrate and become horrible if I didn’t end things amicably. He didn’t put up a fight. I think for the past year I have shut everything out, I have developed problems with alcohol and motivation, many mornings I’d wake up covered in bruises with no recollection of the night before. Twice I concussed myself by blacking out while drunk. I’ve worked extremely hard seeing a psychologist to overcome the grief and poor coping, and I’ve finally started feeling a bit more normal again. I miss my ex boyfriend so much and regret our breakup. Recently he spent a night cuddling me and holding my hand in his bed after a night out with friends (he wasn’t drunk) then he turned around and said it meant nothing to him and he has no feelings for me. It just broke my heart and now I feel back at square one, even worse than ever now. I don’t know why he’d hurt and humiliate me like that, even after we broke up we stayed close friends and he said he loved me. It’s so hurtful and I feel like my life has become unbearable. He knows how hard everything has been for me and I just don’t understand how my life has ended up so horribly.

Bryan_ Loss of Mum
  • replies: 6

It's been a over a year since my mum died of cancer. I was her primary carer for 2 years, doing all I could to help her recover. Now I'm still crippled with anxiety and depression, living in her house which we shared. I'm 60 yrs old. Finding it almos... View more

It's been a over a year since my mum died of cancer. I was her primary carer for 2 years, doing all I could to help her recover. Now I'm still crippled with anxiety and depression, living in her house which we shared. I'm 60 yrs old. Finding it almost impossible to forge a new life. Meds and therapy have proved useless. All I can try and do is eat healthy, a little exercise and sleep when I can to forget the nightmare she is gone. I know I need to get out more, but the apathy and lack of enthusiasm in anything is overwhelming.

widowed1994 Was Widowed 1994 [Trigger Warning: sexual abuse]
  • replies: 1

Hi all, In 1994, I was widowed when my then wife had breast cancer. 6 mths later my then girlfriend found out that my 6yo daughter had been molested by a friend of my late wife who was living with us. For at least 3 mths after, I experienced what I c... View more

Hi all, In 1994, I was widowed when my then wife had breast cancer. 6 mths later my then girlfriend found out that my 6yo daughter had been molested by a friend of my late wife who was living with us. For at least 3 mths after, I experienced what I call Emotional Tsunamis; experiencing an interchanging wide range of emotions on a daily basis (at extreme levels). I never had any counselling as it wasn't available in my town or area back then, although I wrote heaps of poetry and later music to try and release pent up emotions. Though I happily remarried in 1997 (still going strong), to this day, I get easily irritated by things or situations not going right, or not working. With people I am fine and couldn't be more patient and accepting. Is this irritation (and it can cause me to complain, curse and sometimes swear) a hangover from 1994? How do I deal with it as it sometimes irritates those around me?