Hi GrievingAunt,
I am deeply sorry about the loss of your gorgeous niece. I’m here listening and want to talk to be someone you will hopefully feel comfortable talking to.
I felt your raw and intense grief. Your devastation, shock, sadness and heartbreak...I felt it all....
I know miss her terribly. It sounds like you had such a precious bond. I can tell you loved her to the stars (and back, and again and again). She was very lucky to have such a loving aunt in her life.
I understand your fear of slipping back into full blown anxiety & depression, which I know is a very real & valid fear. But as you already have enough to deal with at the moment, I wonder if maybe it might help to take things day by day for now...gentle & easy does it....to see if you can set those fears aside (for now) and focus on getting through each moment for now. One moment at a time...
I understand about not wanting to let go of her things and surrounding yourself with them. I think some of us do that after a loss.
Like others, I have done it before too. I feel it can be akin to building a small safe cocoon with our loved ones belongings and things associated with them. Something like how the person has gone, but at least we can still hang onto their things to hopefully feel closer to them and maybe dull the pain just a tiny, tiny bit. Maybe it’s also a fear of forgetting them. I cant speak for you, but it was for at least ...
I know this is very raw, and I understand grief can unfold itself differently for each person. I feel it’s a very personal process.
For you, I’m here, I’m listening and I’m caring...I understand you’re in a lot of pain...if you want to talk, vent, etc, we are here for you.
Deep caring and kindness,
Pepper
