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Grief and loss

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Sophie_M Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 27

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to ... View more

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to: share your grief, and let others support you. This forum category is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you, providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Please be aware that threads in this forum may contain discussions of self-harm and suicide.

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Giggyy how can i live without my cat
  • replies: 1

my cat was my best friend for 12 years and passed away so suddenly that it doesnt feel real, i cant cope well with my emotions due to autism and i dont know what to do- my cat kept me alive through severe depression and now i do not know what to do. ... View more

my cat was my best friend for 12 years and passed away so suddenly that it doesnt feel real, i cant cope well with my emotions due to autism and i dont know what to do- my cat kept me alive through severe depression and now i do not know what to do. how can i accept something like this? - ive been holding her blanket and listening to purring sounds online to pretend shes still here because i cannot accept it, my brain will not let me acknowledge itplease help

Ruby_22 Cancer stole my Father
  • replies: 2

hi, my name is Ruby, i’m 18 years of age. i also have younger siblings. my father has had his brain tumour removed twice, down chemo, radiation, even a targeted drug trial. but nothing had worked and we are about to lose him to this horrible disease.... View more

hi, my name is Ruby, i’m 18 years of age. i also have younger siblings. my father has had his brain tumour removed twice, down chemo, radiation, even a targeted drug trial. but nothing had worked and we are about to lose him to this horrible disease. i want to support my mum + siblings as much as i can through this. but i feel like i’m drowning in my own thoughts trying to stay afloat. does anyone have any methods to dealing with grief? how will it affect my long term relationship? i have always delt with it by trying to act normal, but i feel i won’t be able to hold it all down after he is gone. he can’t walk, talk, eat, think. this has been going on for months. i just need some support and guidance. thank you, and the best of luck with whatever your dealing with. remember that time can only heal, life must go on

ssuchislife Not coping very well.
  • replies: 1

it’s been 7 years since my mum passed away. It would’ve have been her birthday in 7 days time and it’s just another reminder of how much I’ll never hear her laugh again. I miss her so so deeply. I know everybody says that their mother is/was their be... View more

it’s been 7 years since my mum passed away. It would’ve have been her birthday in 7 days time and it’s just another reminder of how much I’ll never hear her laugh again. I miss her so so deeply. I know everybody says that their mother is/was their best friend, but mine truly was I’m 31 now, it’s hard for me to even try and swallow the thought of becoming a mother myself ever without her here to guide me or share in the joy with me if/when that day comes. I’m not coping very well at the moment, and I’ve never said that out loud, and I honestly don’t remember the last time I was sober since finding her passed away.

scully78 How do I cope without my baby?
  • replies: 10

I lost my little 18 yr old chihuahua Tayla on Saturday. She was an abused rescue and I had her for 11 of her 18 years. We were joined at the hip! In the last 3 years, I would take her absolutely everywhere except work. I wouldn’t plan any occasions u... View more

I lost my little 18 yr old chihuahua Tayla on Saturday. She was an abused rescue and I had her for 11 of her 18 years. We were joined at the hip! In the last 3 years, I would take her absolutely everywhere except work. I wouldn’t plan any occasions unless Tayla could be there with me. Took her to the gym, coffee shop with friends and she was adored by everybody. Got a lot of attention and pretty much everyone in my social circle knew her and loved her. She would sit with me while watching telly, walk around while I garden and patiently wait for me while I had my appointments. Her passing has been a very confusing and painful experience. She died of congestive heart failure, so it was very sudden and unexpected. There were no warning signs. She seemed very happy and energetic the morning before her attack. I very quickly took her to the vet and within 2 hrs of arriving she deteriorated. In the consult room, she looked like she was hurting, so I asked the vet to hurry with the injections. She died in my arms with her head resting on my chest. Since her passing, I don’t know what to do. She was my world! My day was structured around her 5am/5pm medication regime and around her needs as well as my own. I loved every minute spent with my little girl, with the mornings being my favourite part of the day with Tayla. That’s when I would feed her, take her to the lake, coffee shop, gym, beach…whatever was planned. Now, I dont feel like I have a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I am terrified of waking up each day with the realisation she isn’t here with me anymore. I haven’t talked to her, held her or kissed her in 5 days now and I miss her so much. She brought so much love and laughter to my life and now she’s gone. I live alone, and feel like there is no point to life without her. We loved each other so much and we were a perfect match in life, had so much fun. Our bond was very strong. I hate going to bed without her and I hate waking up without her. How do you get on with life without your soulmate? Im struggling to find a point to it all.

Shamira_1 Anxiety and lost
  • replies: 5

Hi,everyone I am new here and I have lost someone not long ago and I am suffing with Anxiety I am here to get some help and to deal with it From shamira

Hi,everyone I am new here and I have lost someone not long ago and I am suffing with Anxiety I am here to get some help and to deal with it From shamira

james1 Ducky died overnight
  • replies: 1

Hello all,I will probably only make this one post and I may not reply on this thread again as it might just make me more upset having to talk about it. But thank you in advance for reading and for any replies you might post. I just need somewhere to ... View more

Hello all,I will probably only make this one post and I may not reply on this thread again as it might just make me more upset having to talk about it. But thank you in advance for reading and for any replies you might post. I just need somewhere to put my thoughts down and I'd actually just replied to someone last week about the loss of their pet. I didn't think I'd be making my own post so soon. My crimson bellied conure, Ducky, died overnight. She was 5 years and 2 months, and I hand reared her from just under 2 months, including feeding her formula every few hours and weaning her off formula onto seeds. Birds will often bond to just a single person and so she was with me. Ducky was a really silly bird. She liked rub her beak on everything and climbed stairs like an absolute trooper. She was pretty fearless and super sneaky. She'd crawl and hide under pillows and I'd keep losing her around the house as she'd hide places then quack when I'd walk past. Like a little game of hide and seek. She loved blueberries and I think I will get a tattoo of her with some blueberries. I think she'd like that.

Eagle Ray Complicated grief
  • replies: 11

Hi, I’m wondering how others have gone with complicated grief? I’m still struggling in particular with my Mum’s death. She came from an abusive childhood. Her mother committed suicide years later. She didn’t bond with me after a difficult birth. Both... View more

Hi, I’m wondering how others have gone with complicated grief? I’m still struggling in particular with my Mum’s death. She came from an abusive childhood. Her mother committed suicide years later. She didn’t bond with me after a difficult birth. Both my parents had complex trauma and not surprisingly I ended up with it. I became like Mum’s parent aged 5. Her brothers bullied her but she kept trying to love them in the hope of something in return. There’s too much to explain here, but she died utterly broken-hearted and I saw it happen as I cared for her through her physical and mental health decline, as I did for Dad who had a degenerative disease. In the same time period I lost 3 friends to suicide. I was also caring for another family member in breakdown. Sometimes I just feel so broken by everything now I don’t know what the point of my life is anymore. I fluctuate between hope and a feeling that is beyond exhaustion. I worked so hard to lift Mum to a better place and it was working for both her and me in that our relationship improved and there was hope. Then another family member became angry with her and she spiraled downwards. Then her heart failed. I felt like the obstacles we’d overcome in our relationship and the love and hope that gave was smashed to pieces. Just before that I was diagnosed with a ‘progressive’ autoimmune disease. I put that in quotes as I’m trying to defy the medical diagnosis with my own research and efforts to improve my health. But I’ve also probably lost the uni degree I was trying to finish and can give nothing more to it. I’ve had to fight my way back from nothing several times as a result of health issues including extreme chronic pain over years at a time, where I’ve had to stop work, lose all my savings and then start again from zero. I’ve fought my way back from every crisis, reinvented my life to work and function again, but feel like I can’t keep lifting myself up now. Just totally lost at the moment. I have some kind friends and extended family members and a good psychologist. I’m normally a glass half full optimist, but feel things are on top of me. I feel like grief is beating me despite my best efforts to heal. Sorry ranting now, but lost. Just feeling really down tonight

Clues_Of_Blue My angel is gone
  • replies: 36

Those of you who know me know that my two little birds and my partner are my world. My partner had a heart and lung transplant two years ago. His body is now rejecting those lungs and they have thrown every treatment at it they can, to no avail. His ... View more

Those of you who know me know that my two little birds and my partner are my world. My partner had a heart and lung transplant two years ago. His body is now rejecting those lungs and they have thrown every treatment at it they can, to no avail. His health is in steady decline, the lungs severely damaged. In all likelihood he will need another transplant. There is no guarantee of finding a suitable donor in time. We don't know how this will play out, how long he has left. That is cause enough for grief. Throughout the many hospital stays this year, there have been a few scares and vet trips for our first-born little bird, Sir Pecks (not his real name). It took so long for them to even identify why he was unwell. His liver had become very enlarged and was causing him great discomfort. He was so sleepy all the time, was frantic about eating, he barely sang or preened any more. He was struggling to breathe. Our sweet, happy little bird, our child, who loved to sing at the top of his lungs right in our ears, who loved to play and bathe and pinch bits of our breakfast, is now gone. We feel so empty and lost and heartbroken to be without him. That in no way diminishes our love for his brother, of course, but our grief is so huge. It's hard to face each day, knowing he won't be there, screaming at us for attention and getting into everything. I miss him so much, and I am scared for my partner. I feel like my family is crumbling and I have no power to do anything about it. How do you live with grief like this?

KannF Feeling lost
  • replies: 1

Hello all so I’m a little confused, please help? my partner and I have been together for nearly and a year now and we have been fighting a lot more regularly mainly over my co dependency & then we fight about not being able to see eye to eye. Then it... View more

Hello all so I’m a little confused, please help? my partner and I have been together for nearly and a year now and we have been fighting a lot more regularly mainly over my co dependency & then we fight about not being able to see eye to eye. Then it goes on and on and on……. I also find his constantly making stupid remarks not just to me but his mother and sister too. Then I tell him his being annoying but then he say’s I’m rude for saying that his being annoying? Whenever i mention his words hurt my feeling’s it’s almost like he makes me feel like I shouldn’t have any feeling’s towards how he makes me feel or what he does with his life? Like am I going insane guys? i dunno he doesn’t seem to take responsibility for anything his words, his actions, his choices, something bad happen’s to him & his straight away loosing it. At the start he said to me “your lucky to be with me you just snuck in” like WT is that? How did we end up together if he didn’t want a relationship at the start.? It’s like he made it out like I got myself into this relationship not him.? If his not arguing with his mother it’s me if it’s not me his fighting with life it’s just consistent & I feel like I’m shutting down like I just don’t wanna talk anymore I mean what’s the point?

mobius It doesn't feel real.
  • replies: 3

Hey guys. My father just passed away, and I feel empty. I feel like this is some bad dream that I will wake up from. I am 42 but after a long period of addiction, I got clean and re-connected with my family and friends, but I still feel like a child ... View more

Hey guys. My father just passed away, and I feel empty. I feel like this is some bad dream that I will wake up from. I am 42 but after a long period of addiction, I got clean and re-connected with my family and friends, but I still feel like a child sometimes. This means the passing of Dad has had a profound effect on me. I doesn't seem real, and I don't know what to do to make sense of it. I have picked up more meetings and they are helping, but when is this going to hit? When is it going to make sense so I can process it?