Childhood grief created emptiness emotionally

[davey_]

When I was 7 my mum died of leukaemia ever since then my life was changed as through my teenage years to this day I have noticed a lack of emotions and feelings that are considered normal. I feel as if I’m not sad when I should be and I don’t know how to describe it but I just done feel anything at all. My current circumstances aren’t bad at all in living comfortably and I have a caring girlfriend. I just don’t feel many emotions if any towards all situations and just life in general. I wouldn’t consider myself emotionless or empty I am struggling to put a pin on it. I’m wondering if anyone has felt the same thing as me and what’s I can do to change this. I wouldn’t consider myself in a bad or good mental state I’m just kind of living life as it is. But sometimes I just wonder why am I so empty inside it’s like grief has drained my emotions and feelings towards others. 

[geoff]

Hello davey, I am deeply sorry that your mum passed away because of leukemia, as I also am suffering from the same illness and know exactly how my loved ones are feeling and would undoubtedly feel the same as you if something happens to me, so I don't feel as you are suffering from a normal response.

In saying that it would be a tragic and surprising to lose your mum and I feel your heartache and know that although this illness can be put into remission it can relapse, the trouble is we never know when this could happen, but that doesn't help you.

Please get back to me if you want to.

Geoff.

Life Member. 

[Fern42]

Hi Davey_,

I am sorry to hear that you experienced a tragic death at such a young age. Experiencing trauma like a death at such a young age can cause us to adapt in many ways to cope with what we are experiencing at that time. At 7 years old we are still developing emotionally and it is no surprise that at that age we do not have the ability to completely deal with and process something so tragic. I believe that seeking some professional advice around this area may help you, from a psychologist. It is possible that unprocessed trauma can manifest itself like this and this could be helpful to work through. 

Take care,