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Sophie_M Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 27

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to ... View more

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to: share your grief, and let others support you. This forum category is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you, providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Please be aware that threads in this forum may contain discussions of self-harm and suicide.

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lil quirky Words cannot explain grief and loss but I'll try explain my story
  • replies: 3

Hey its lil quirky here,You may or may not have seen me around in different sections and now this one. This wasn't too long ago, like a month ago maybe, my dog was getting really old and we all knew it, and my dog was showing it too, she had such a l... View more

Hey its lil quirky here,You may or may not have seen me around in different sections and now this one. This wasn't too long ago, like a month ago maybe, my dog was getting really old and we all knew it, and my dog was showing it too, she had such a long run, she was 18 so older that me (I'm 17) and I grew up with her my whole life, she had dementia and my family made the decission to put her down so we only had a couple of days left with her so we took that time to give her as much love as possible, I spent her last night with her, and during this long and painful week I still had to go to school because it was a SAC week and I had a SAC every day that I had to attend to. At the vet I wont go into to much detail here because I'm already drowning in my tears writing this but I saw that green liquid go into her and watch the life drain out of her and I was the last one she saw. I can just see it my head every now and again it comes back to haunt me, she could have had more time but she may not have been happy and instead suffering and I feel guilty like did we do the right thing, I feel like we did, its just so hard to admit shes gone. Now here comes another part, we now have a new puppy and the rest of my family I can see are happy and they needed this, but I have mixed feelings, for me I feel it's too soon, but maybe I need this? maybe he will help me cope with this Grieving process, I've never really done it with someone I was so close with. I am not ok at the moment and so much has happened to me this year that I feel the world is just against me, and I keep asking myself 'can I do it?' - Kind regards lil quirky

JoeDee Overcoming the difficulty of having a son in prison
  • replies: 2

I have a son in his early twenties that is in jail, having recently been sentenced for two years for an attack on a random person. It was a moment when he was drunk i believe, a bit of a fracas and he lashed out. Was no intent of maliciousness to cau... View more

I have a son in his early twenties that is in jail, having recently been sentenced for two years for an attack on a random person. It was a moment when he was drunk i believe, a bit of a fracas and he lashed out. Was no intent of maliciousness to cause harm, just anger fueled. Unfortunately, the victim fell to the ground ending up in hospital in an induced coma which made it worse for my son. He now feels harshly dealt with by the system and its really tough on him and on me being a single parent to handle and cope with. I really don't know how to get on with my life whilst he is behind bars and where to go from here. There's no one to talk with either. It's a difficult situation. I would love to visit him but its a fair distance to get to. I will however organise a trip soon. I hope time goes by fast, he is given parole and we can get on with our lives. I feel it will have affected his life forever. I keep telling him its a time he needs to forget and that he is young and can move on from here. I too need to move on with my life.

lisa1987 Loss
  • replies: 2

We had a misscarrige I feel terrible don't know how to feel just numb

We had a misscarrige I feel terrible don't know how to feel just numb

Giggyy how can i live without my cat
  • replies: 1

my cat was my best friend for 12 years and passed away so suddenly that it doesnt feel real, i cant cope well with my emotions due to autism and i dont know what to do- my cat kept me alive through severe depression and now i do not know what to do. ... View more

my cat was my best friend for 12 years and passed away so suddenly that it doesnt feel real, i cant cope well with my emotions due to autism and i dont know what to do- my cat kept me alive through severe depression and now i do not know what to do. how can i accept something like this? - ive been holding her blanket and listening to purring sounds online to pretend shes still here because i cannot accept it, my brain will not let me acknowledge itplease help

Ruby_22 Cancer stole my Father
  • replies: 2

hi, my name is Ruby, i’m 18 years of age. i also have younger siblings. my father has had his brain tumour removed twice, down chemo, radiation, even a targeted drug trial. but nothing had worked and we are about to lose him to this horrible disease.... View more

hi, my name is Ruby, i’m 18 years of age. i also have younger siblings. my father has had his brain tumour removed twice, down chemo, radiation, even a targeted drug trial. but nothing had worked and we are about to lose him to this horrible disease. i want to support my mum + siblings as much as i can through this. but i feel like i’m drowning in my own thoughts trying to stay afloat. does anyone have any methods to dealing with grief? how will it affect my long term relationship? i have always delt with it by trying to act normal, but i feel i won’t be able to hold it all down after he is gone. he can’t walk, talk, eat, think. this has been going on for months. i just need some support and guidance. thank you, and the best of luck with whatever your dealing with. remember that time can only heal, life must go on

ssuchislife Not coping very well.
  • replies: 1

it’s been 7 years since my mum passed away. It would’ve have been her birthday in 7 days time and it’s just another reminder of how much I’ll never hear her laugh again. I miss her so so deeply. I know everybody says that their mother is/was their be... View more

it’s been 7 years since my mum passed away. It would’ve have been her birthday in 7 days time and it’s just another reminder of how much I’ll never hear her laugh again. I miss her so so deeply. I know everybody says that their mother is/was their best friend, but mine truly was I’m 31 now, it’s hard for me to even try and swallow the thought of becoming a mother myself ever without her here to guide me or share in the joy with me if/when that day comes. I’m not coping very well at the moment, and I’ve never said that out loud, and I honestly don’t remember the last time I was sober since finding her passed away.

scully78 How do I cope without my baby?
  • replies: 10

I lost my little 18 yr old chihuahua Tayla on Saturday. She was an abused rescue and I had her for 11 of her 18 years. We were joined at the hip! In the last 3 years, I would take her absolutely everywhere except work. I wouldn’t plan any occasions u... View more

I lost my little 18 yr old chihuahua Tayla on Saturday. She was an abused rescue and I had her for 11 of her 18 years. We were joined at the hip! In the last 3 years, I would take her absolutely everywhere except work. I wouldn’t plan any occasions unless Tayla could be there with me. Took her to the gym, coffee shop with friends and she was adored by everybody. Got a lot of attention and pretty much everyone in my social circle knew her and loved her. She would sit with me while watching telly, walk around while I garden and patiently wait for me while I had my appointments. Her passing has been a very confusing and painful experience. She died of congestive heart failure, so it was very sudden and unexpected. There were no warning signs. She seemed very happy and energetic the morning before her attack. I very quickly took her to the vet and within 2 hrs of arriving she deteriorated. In the consult room, she looked like she was hurting, so I asked the vet to hurry with the injections. She died in my arms with her head resting on my chest. Since her passing, I don’t know what to do. She was my world! My day was structured around her 5am/5pm medication regime and around her needs as well as my own. I loved every minute spent with my little girl, with the mornings being my favourite part of the day with Tayla. That’s when I would feed her, take her to the lake, coffee shop, gym, beach…whatever was planned. Now, I dont feel like I have a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I am terrified of waking up each day with the realisation she isn’t here with me anymore. I haven’t talked to her, held her or kissed her in 5 days now and I miss her so much. She brought so much love and laughter to my life and now she’s gone. I live alone, and feel like there is no point to life without her. We loved each other so much and we were a perfect match in life, had so much fun. Our bond was very strong. I hate going to bed without her and I hate waking up without her. How do you get on with life without your soulmate? Im struggling to find a point to it all.

Shamira_1 Anxiety and lost
  • replies: 5

Hi,everyone I am new here and I have lost someone not long ago and I am suffing with Anxiety I am here to get some help and to deal with it From shamira

Hi,everyone I am new here and I have lost someone not long ago and I am suffing with Anxiety I am here to get some help and to deal with it From shamira

james1 Ducky died overnight
  • replies: 1

Hello all,I will probably only make this one post and I may not reply on this thread again as it might just make me more upset having to talk about it. But thank you in advance for reading and for any replies you might post. I just need somewhere to ... View more

Hello all,I will probably only make this one post and I may not reply on this thread again as it might just make me more upset having to talk about it. But thank you in advance for reading and for any replies you might post. I just need somewhere to put my thoughts down and I'd actually just replied to someone last week about the loss of their pet. I didn't think I'd be making my own post so soon. My crimson bellied conure, Ducky, died overnight. She was 5 years and 2 months, and I hand reared her from just under 2 months, including feeding her formula every few hours and weaning her off formula onto seeds. Birds will often bond to just a single person and so she was with me. Ducky was a really silly bird. She liked rub her beak on everything and climbed stairs like an absolute trooper. She was pretty fearless and super sneaky. She'd crawl and hide under pillows and I'd keep losing her around the house as she'd hide places then quack when I'd walk past. Like a little game of hide and seek. She loved blueberries and I think I will get a tattoo of her with some blueberries. I think she'd like that.

Eagle Ray Complicated grief
  • replies: 11

Hi, I’m wondering how others have gone with complicated grief? I’m still struggling in particular with my Mum’s death. She came from an abusive childhood. Her mother committed suicide years later. She didn’t bond with me after a difficult birth. Both... View more

Hi, I’m wondering how others have gone with complicated grief? I’m still struggling in particular with my Mum’s death. She came from an abusive childhood. Her mother committed suicide years later. She didn’t bond with me after a difficult birth. Both my parents had complex trauma and not surprisingly I ended up with it. I became like Mum’s parent aged 5. Her brothers bullied her but she kept trying to love them in the hope of something in return. There’s too much to explain here, but she died utterly broken-hearted and I saw it happen as I cared for her through her physical and mental health decline, as I did for Dad who had a degenerative disease. In the same time period I lost 3 friends to suicide. I was also caring for another family member in breakdown. Sometimes I just feel so broken by everything now I don’t know what the point of my life is anymore. I fluctuate between hope and a feeling that is beyond exhaustion. I worked so hard to lift Mum to a better place and it was working for both her and me in that our relationship improved and there was hope. Then another family member became angry with her and she spiraled downwards. Then her heart failed. I felt like the obstacles we’d overcome in our relationship and the love and hope that gave was smashed to pieces. Just before that I was diagnosed with a ‘progressive’ autoimmune disease. I put that in quotes as I’m trying to defy the medical diagnosis with my own research and efforts to improve my health. But I’ve also probably lost the uni degree I was trying to finish and can give nothing more to it. I’ve had to fight my way back from nothing several times as a result of health issues including extreme chronic pain over years at a time, where I’ve had to stop work, lose all my savings and then start again from zero. I’ve fought my way back from every crisis, reinvented my life to work and function again, but feel like I can’t keep lifting myself up now. Just totally lost at the moment. I have some kind friends and extended family members and a good psychologist. I’m normally a glass half full optimist, but feel things are on top of me. I feel like grief is beating me despite my best efforts to heal. Sorry ranting now, but lost. Just feeling really down tonight