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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Roundhole Why
  • replies: 10

Why do people turn away from me? Why have I no friends? Why do I have problems communicating? Why do I always (eventually) see the bad in people? Why can't I be nice (for ever)? Why am I such a smart ar-e? Why does a haze cloud my mind when I talk to... View more

Why do people turn away from me? Why have I no friends? Why do I have problems communicating? Why do I always (eventually) see the bad in people? Why can't I be nice (for ever)? Why am I such a smart ar-e? Why does a haze cloud my mind when I talk to people? What the hell is wrong with me????????????????????

Jo3 Alcohol & depression
  • replies: 10

Last night I was invited to join 3 other friends for dinner. Two of us drank a bottle of wine. I was feeling really happy and was feeling relaxed and having good time. But that changed very quickly. By the time I got home I was so feeling a bit stran... View more

Last night I was invited to join 3 other friends for dinner. Two of us drank a bottle of wine. I was feeling really happy and was feeling relaxed and having good time. But that changed very quickly. By the time I got home I was so feeling a bit strange. Within a few minutes of going to bed I could feel my anxiety building up; I could feel my emotions rising. I don't know if it was the alcohol and anti depressants. Why couldn't that relaxed feeling stay with me a bit longrer. Maybe if I keep drinking my body will get used to it and I would feel good. The 3 hours of being together with friends and drinking was good, I didn't even think of any negative thoughts. Jo

bb88 Depression, Lack of Intimacy, Binge Drinking
  • replies: 3

Today I'm having one of the worst depressive episodes I've had in 2 years. My head feels like it's going to explode and I can't escape. This is the first time I've ever sought help, and for anyone reading you are the first people I've ever told. But ... View more

Today I'm having one of the worst depressive episodes I've had in 2 years. My head feels like it's going to explode and I can't escape. This is the first time I've ever sought help, and for anyone reading you are the first people I've ever told. But I desperately need to vent and get some things off my chest. I don't know what went wrong in my life to get to this point, I feel almost ashamed writing this because my life is relatively normal. Yet I can't explain this feeling that has steadily been building and worsening since I was 16 (26 now). I guess I'll start with lack of intimacy, I'm a male and I struggle with the opposite sex, I've never had a girlfriend. I have zero confidence and self esteem and I heavily rely on alcohol as a crutch. The only time I've ever been sexually intimate or intimate at all is when I'm absolutely plastered. I sometimes get very anxious socially, and I stew and dwell on how I react with people. I have never truly been comfortable around people, I have somehow learnt to merely pretend by observation. I probably drink once or twice a fortnight, but when I do binge to excess and lately I've started to act out antisocially. I never used to be an aggressive person but lately I've found when I drink I will shove and intimidate other guys, or I find myself being dragged out of a place kicking and screaming. I see myself going down a dark path and I'm scared I'll hurt someone or be hurt. Today was a bad day, its almost 1am and I can't sleep, I had a big night on the weekend. I balled my eyes out earlier. I have friends and family but I feel utterly alone in this world, I want to feel intimacy with someone, just to hold someone. I'm a good person, I'm loyal to the people that love me, without them I could never cope. I have so much negativity in my head all the time, I think it shows and drives girls away from me, I just wish I had the confidence to make a move, say something interesting. I feel down all the time and its a never ending cycle, its not just the lack of intimacy, there are other issues rattling in my head as well. Its a mindset I wish I could shatter and just live, after so many years its become ingrained, I cant remember the last time I was happy. I don't know if anyone will understand my ramblings I just typed the first things that came to my mind. Thanks for giving my the space to put this somewhere, I hope this catharsis will let me sleep at least for now.

egore Letters From The Dark Side
  • replies: 1

I have been suffering mental illness from the age of 12 years old. I am now 44. I have survived 3 suicide attempts and have been on medication for over 30 years. Although my family were aware of my low points I have only just come out to closer frien... View more

I have been suffering mental illness from the age of 12 years old. I am now 44. I have survived 3 suicide attempts and have been on medication for over 30 years. Although my family were aware of my low points I have only just come out to closer friends and extended family. I admit, I feel embarrassed and sensed that some people fear it. I don't blame them because it scares me also. BUT it's the world I live in. My illness is strange and I go through extended periods of euphoria followed by short periods of depression. I love being the strong, friendly and comical relief to so many but I dread the next stage. This period is what I call the DARK SIDE. As I grew familiar with my episodes I decided to document them in a diary called "Letters from the Dark Side". These were letters I wrote to myself when at my greatest low to help me recognise the symptoms and feelings I had during that time. It is my voice at a time when I can't speak, one I hope to one day give to others to allow a greater understanding of where we go when at our lowest. I just hope with the understanding people gain from my notes will give a better inside into how to help rather than helping in ways that can sometimes further intensify the darkness. I want to show them the hand that helps.

hitandmiss The highs and lows of depression
  • replies: 1

I became diagnosed earlier this year with depression and anxiety and started to take medication for it. I have felt much better on the medication but my family thinks they can see extreme 'highs' and 'lows' in my behaviour. I don't feel these highs a... View more

I became diagnosed earlier this year with depression and anxiety and started to take medication for it. I have felt much better on the medication but my family thinks they can see extreme 'highs' and 'lows' in my behaviour. I don't feel these highs and lows I just think my behaviour is normal. I don't know how to change my behaviour to make them worry less about my emotional state.

Guest_5809 Tired of being alone, tired of being lonely
  • replies: 6

I am 43 sole carer of 2 children I love and adore my children. Bit I hate my lot in life. Sounds crazy I am sure. I wouldn't change my kids for anything but I hate being alone. I have been alone for 8 years. I long for someone to cuddle me and give a... View more

I am 43 sole carer of 2 children I love and adore my children. Bit I hate my lot in life. Sounds crazy I am sure. I wouldn't change my kids for anything but I hate being alone. I have been alone for 8 years. I long for someone to cuddle me and give affection. I have severe depression and anxiety. I have immense guilt feeling like this. I know it is selfish but I would dearly love to have someone in my life who loves me( I know my kids love me but it isn't the same). I am overweight which I know doesn't appeal to men and the fact I have 2 kids full time. I lay in bed at night and cry. I am so lonely. I seem to have so many things going on in my life I know I will be alone forever. It's a horrible daunting feeling. I am recently thinking that once the kids are adults my pain can end. The kids won't need me or want me around. The thought of me being even more alone is unimaginable. No body I know gets the loneliness and isolation that I live with. I feel like I am hanging on by a thread until the kids are just that bit older. I am a good person. I have made mistakes. I feel like I am being punished for the rest of my life. This dam black dog is my punishment and I am scared of succumbing to it.

Poss42 Feeling like a Failure
  • replies: 10

Everything I seem to do is wrong. I'm starting a new job next week and I'm scared that I'll fail and let everyone down. I've been drinking too much and sent a message to one of my friends that was hurtful and now I feel sick with guilt and will event... View more

Everything I seem to do is wrong. I'm starting a new job next week and I'm scared that I'll fail and let everyone down. I've been drinking too much and sent a message to one of my friends that was hurtful and now I feel sick with guilt and will eventually have to face them. One of my other friends sent me a message saying I was nasty and not a true friend. Alcohol always seems to get me into trouble and I say or do things I don't mean. I need to try and give up drinking I'm not an alcoholic and don't drink every day but I do binge and drink most to every weekend. I need help to try and stop drinking as I really do believe things would be allot better if I got help but I don't know where to get help? As I don't think AA would suit what I need. I'm single over 40 and feel that my opportunity to have children had passed me by, I'm over weight, have no drive to exercise, some Saturdays I spend the whole day in bed and wonder why I'm here at all. I feel empty inside and don't know what to do. I don't feel like a good person today and just feel sick.

Allisonanne Feel so alone in this
  • replies: 5

I am sitting here after just signing up with this site, because I just need to find someone who understands. I am presently crying while typing and haven't a clue why. I have suffered from depression for many years & have tried lots of different medi... View more

I am sitting here after just signing up with this site, because I just need to find someone who understands. I am presently crying while typing and haven't a clue why. I have suffered from depression for many years & have tried lots of different medications, some didn't work & some were ok. I then went to a Psychologist because I felt suicidal, for no reason, and after a few sessions felt the best I had ever felt & found that just getting lots of junk out & seeing it for what it was, was liberating. So what's happened? Am I ever going to be free of this? Am I ever going to be able to come out of self imposed isolation because I don't want people to see my emotional frailty? My family members tend to avoid me as one day I am there for them & the next, I'm hiding under the bed, my husband keeps telling me to get a grip & I sincerely wish I could oblige him!! In my family, I am the mother/sister/wife/Grandma who needs to be there for them and more than anything I would love to be that person & aspire to be that person, but when I am not coping, they see me as unstable & someone to avoid. My solution to avoiding this kind of hurt is to hide & disconnect from those who are close to me. I find their altered treatment of me, because of my condition, to be condescending & unbearable, it's like a vicious circle.I think a lot of the problem is loneliness and the need to connect with people who understand this journey. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

just_let_go A girl is bringing back my depression
  • replies: 11

Hi All, been a while. A few months back I started on medication for my depression and anxiety and I had a great response to it. I went from being in a constant struggle every single day to feeling like my old self again just over a couple of months. ... View more

Hi All, been a while. A few months back I started on medication for my depression and anxiety and I had a great response to it. I went from being in a constant struggle every single day to feeling like my old self again just over a couple of months. I started seeing the light again and got over the issues that was troubling me horribly. I even started to get back into dating again... And then I met her. This girl I knew through high school suddenly came into my life again. We met at a party, got talking, I got her number and we went out a week later. Everything went well. We went out a few more times, then more and more frequently. And then I realised that I had completely fallen for this girl. I cannot stop thinking about her. Every time she left my house I hated it. I just want to be with her all the time. So I did the only thing I could and I told her the way I felt. She said it's not a good time and she just wants to be friends. Okay that's her decision, fair enough, she did get out of a relationship about a month ago. But I'm still seeing her. A lot. Like 3 - 4 times a week. She laughs at everything I say, we message each other constantly, she sends me flirty photos, whenever she comes over we end up cuddling on the couch. How is this what friends do? Bottom line is I just can't take it. My depression and anxiety have come right back because of this. The fact that she's become such a large part of my life yet she isn't my girlfriend is just killing me. She's hangs out with other guys sometimes too. That's when my anxiety and depression just goes insane. I guess i'm still hopeful that something might come out of this. Even her friends tell me that she likes me. Everything was fine until she came into my life. Now the only time I feel good is when I'm with her or messaging her. Thanks for reading, I just really needed to vent this. Love hurts.

Lehnah Competative Play and Dealing With Losing
  • replies: 4

I'd like to ask others here how they deal with losing at any form of comparative play. A few months ago my sisters boyfriend introduced me to Magic: The Gathering. For those that may not know, it's a collectible card game in you build a deck made up ... View more

I'd like to ask others here how they deal with losing at any form of comparative play. A few months ago my sisters boyfriend introduced me to Magic: The Gathering. For those that may not know, it's a collectible card game in you build a deck made up of spercific cards and battle others. There are thousands and thousands of variables that can potentially come into play depending on the deck you play against and your own deck. It is a very mentally taxing game, lots of strategy and you've no idea how the deck you have will play until you play it against someone. Anyhoo, I've been going with friends to Magic game night and I have been enjoying it for the most part. However, I find that if I have a bad night, say I lose each game or, even worse, get utterly smashed, I get really depressed and consider giving up all together. For example, last night I lost every game. I had a new deck that I had been working very hard on. My friends helped me put it together and make it better. We tested it against various deck and every time it went really well. Even if I didn't win, it was very close. Last night at the game night, though, I was thrashed. Utterly. Every game. What I experienced was a mix of anger at"wasting" all this time building the deck, having my friends help me with it and playing game after game with them to test it; frustration at having it perform really well in those test games only to get thrashed at the actual game night and depression thinking that everyone there probably thinks I'm a useless, rubbish player and if they come across me with think "this guy, he's crap. I'm gonna thrash him." It made me feel very worthless and I just wanted to get out of there and hide away. By the time I got home I'd calmed down a little. I was still somewhat depressed but decided to chalk it up to having a bad night and I'd try a different deck next week. It stuck me how affected I'd been by the experience, however, and wondered if it was indeed my depression coming through or I just didn't know how to deal with losing. I'v never been into sport or really any other kind of competitive play so I guess I've not had much experience with losing. So, the question is do you think my feeling were depression related, or related to my lack of experience and how can I deal with this in the future? Any advice would be much appreciated. Cheers.