How did you first admit you needed help?

Findinganswers3761 · ‎18-02-2015

Please note I have not been formally diagnosed with any mental Illness, this post is to determine whether I should seek professional help. In the past five weeks I have been experiencing some out of character behaviours that I believe may be the start of a mild depression. These are as follows: Completely random feelings of sadness that often lead me to cry, sometimes up to six times a day with no apprant reason. Insomnia, previously I would sleep like a log, now I spend sometimes up to three hours a night trying to get to sleep, which has been ongoing for the entire five weeks. I'm finding myself having these little 'episodes' where I break down and cry at almost anytime e.g. driving in the car,often I can feel a little worthless or hopeless and while I have had some of these little breakdowns in front of my boyfriend I find that they mostly affect me when I am alone and that I have more intense one's when I am by myself. I've never once thought about self harm, or suicide and I have always considered myself quite a strong person mentally. I just seem to be having these little epsiodes of intense crying and sadness that I really cannot explain, and of course the Insonmia Is starting to really affect me. Do you think my concerns are valid? Did you ever experience anything like this? And what did you do?

HA1 · ‎18-02-2015

Hello findinganswers !

welcome to beyond blue and well done on reaching out to us. Taking that first step is always difficult.

my case is a little different from yours in that I have lived with it for all my life. I knew there was something different about me, but never sought help. I just thought those were my personality traits. I had bouts where I was in a darker space than normal, but usually managed to crawl myself out of it one way or another. The feelings I experienced included those that you have described. Often I 'compensated' by throwing my efforts into things like exercising obsessively. But because I was so used to it I didn't see that I was heading for a very serious breakdown in my later years. All it took was something to trigger it, to throw me into deep depression. I also had never 'dark thoughts' enter my mind until that trigger threw me into severe depression.

what you have described are symptoms that can be related to mild depression, so I think your first step should be to go and talk to your GP and explain your symptoms exactly the way you have described above. It could be nothing but a patch you are going through, but best to be safe.

please let us know how you get along and, again, a big 'well done' on seeking out help.

take care

K

geoff · ‎18-02-2015

dear Findinganswers, thanks for being brave to decide to post your comment, it's not easy posting your first comment, but it's a great achievement.

I think I can answer your question in one word, although I'm no psychologist, doctor or psychiatrist, but from experience the answer is yes your heading to depression whether it's mild now or whether it's going to turn into being a real concern and turn into being major, so you should go and see your doctor.

If you don't have a doctor that you can trust please let us know as we can then guide you along the way.

Just remember you can't overcome this depression by yourself, nor can your boyfriend tell you 'just to get over it', and the same applies to anyone else, you need professional help, but we can try and help you along the way, because everyone on this site has had some type of depression, and it ranges from young to elderly people, but that doesn't matter, because any words of advice, support and help all contribute to helping you along the way.

We hope that you can stay with us because it's not so much an easy road ahead of you, but if you have support then that counts so much. L Geoff. x

Pixie15 · ‎18-02-2015

Hi Findinganswers3761,

I am wondering if you saw the 1 minute checklist on the main page of the site this can be very useful for a self evaluation.

When I first sought help it was actually in an attempt to help someone else. I saw a clinical psychologist and although I did not meet the criteria for a specific diagnosis I did do some CBT to improve my anxious behavior which was feeding my depression.

I also had episodes of deep sadness and crying. I could cry for hours. I had a lot of grief which I was basically in denial about. Do you find that you feel better after you cry? I ended up writing down the thoughts I was having while I was crying this helped me to identify what I was sad about.

I have heard somewhere that the happiest people cry at least once a month. However I think it is like any aspect of your well being (body, mind, emotions) if you have a sudden and unexplained change it is good to have it checked out.

I hope you find some help.

Grateful.

Findinganswers3761 · ‎19-02-2015

Hi everyone,

Thank you so much for all your helpful answers! I'm setting up an appointment with my GP to talk about my concerns and what options I have. It's very nice to know that all you wonderful people are here to support me should I need it! Thank you so much!

pojo · ‎07-03-2015

Ok so I have just had an epiphany. Walking through my lovely apartment after putting my beautiful daughter to bed I looked around and thought what a mess. No seriously this place is a pigsty. I stopped and had to think about the last time I actually cleaned. I walked through each room slowly and was dumbstruck. I can't remember when I cleaned this place last! Then it struck me. I don't look after my home, I don't look after myself. I am in moderately high powered job and for all intents and purposes I am confident, immaculately presented, motivated, 'strong' and yet I can't tell you when I showered last. I joke about how I don't cook immaculate dinners anymore. Sometimes I can't be bothered to even eat dinner! So I was dumbfounded as all of this washed over me and googled 'I don't clean my house'. To find out that I could actually be suffering depression. Wow. This leads me to take a few quizzes and I find out that my restless nights, teary moments, deep feelings of morose and lethargy are not actually symptoms of hypothyroidism. I knew something wasn't quite right for hmmmm about 18 months and finally went to the doctor. Well bless him for saving me and giving me a diagnosis and treatment that made sense of all my madness. Everything seemed to be finally coming together. I was actually coming out of the fog. Then out of the blue I found out my husband who was having an affair. He said at the time it wasn't an affair because it was all on Facebook and they never met. I believe him. We have certainly had some mind blowing highs and lows this last month. However I really am grateful to have discovered the affair. It has brought us closer together. Truly I feel blessed for both of us for each to have been given a second chance. He has returned to work offshore and we are making a concerted effort to talk everyday. Things are good there. We are awake and nurturing each other again. I can't fault him. Then I find myself walking through our beautiful waterfront apartment wondering what the hell is wrong with me. I am not clean. My home is not clean and I am numb. What is it I need to do to repair me? My husband's stupid slip up is not the reason. It is a consequence of so much more. I feel like I have been on this downward spiral for many years. I had an abusive marriage once. I survived that. I raised my kids and built a successful career, accumulated wealth and then I found a caring, loving man. What is wrong with me? 😞

Pixie15 · ‎07-03-2015

Hi pojo,

Welcome to the beyond blue forums. I have not tried to google "I do not clean my house" so was surprised that the term lead you to conclude that you had depression. At the other end of the continuum is the idea "A clean house is a sign of a life not lived". I guess it is a matter of finding a balance between the two and if we are unwell we can end up at either extreme.

You cannot take the responsibility for your husband having an affair. I am not sure that I personally would buy the it is only on Facebook and so it does not count. A lot of people seem to be able to use social media to maintain long-term relationships. Even if you were ill he can not use that as an excuse to be unfaithful. He needs to step up and take responsibility for his behavior.

Your discontent with your life could be a feature of your depression or your depression may signify that you have been putting up with things in your life that you are uncomfortable with. Have you thought about getting some counselling to help you sort out how you are feeling?

Thanks for sharing your story. I just had these few thoughts when I read your post so thought I would attempt a reply.

Grateful.