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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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JayMic Wanting to change everything to feel something
  • replies: 5

Hi all, I have never done this before... I am more a face to face person but right now this suits. I am a counsellor and I think I am struggling with depression & anxiety. I am 27, female and loosing interest in all I have... this appears to be seaso... View more

Hi all, I have never done this before... I am more a face to face person but right now this suits. I am a counsellor and I think I am struggling with depression & anxiety. I am 27, female and loosing interest in all I have... this appears to be seasonal and usually beings around april and hits home hard at winter. I almost ended my almost 9 year relationship last night...I want to quit my job, move overseas and start a new life - all my attachments done feel good enough - nothing feels good enough. How do i go from Nov last year feeling so in love, happy, content, calm - to now craving feelings in any way i can get them? I am a very emotional personal, I like feeling things - but now I feel numb, and its hard to stand. Its so hard because logically, as someone who spend 6 years studying to be a counsellor i know what's happening - but it doesn't mean i can stop it, or feel less alone in this place. I have cried on and off for small reasons, i feel ive been sick or run down most of the year, i want a completely different life and find my ususal interest boring and stupid, i feel nothing. Everything is a chore. Im bearly sleeping then struggling in the morning, my diet is horrible, i have no drive for anything. When i told my fiancé this - he was so upset, i could see he was crushed - i told him a want a different life, away and i need change - i felt nothing while he was sad...i feel i cried because i knew i should feel sad...but i felt numb, and dying to run. What the hell is wrong with me? Do others feel this sense of numberness and need for change when they have depression? I am so scared i am going to throw away everything ive worked hard for, everything i love, just to feel a rush...it scares me... I know i want to be alive, im not suicidal. I am just flat, numb and lost... Please let me know if anyone has shared similar experiences?

Pounce the motivation switch. how do you control it?
  • replies: 9

I'm normally a highly motivated person. Just last week I was buzzing around, getting things done, excited about life. Now the fog has come back and turned off the motivation switch! It took me an hour to will myself out of bed. It took me another two... View more

I'm normally a highly motivated person. Just last week I was buzzing around, getting things done, excited about life. Now the fog has come back and turned off the motivation switch! It took me an hour to will myself out of bed. It took me another two hours to get dressed. I tried making a list, but it's just overwhelming - I can't prioritise so I end up doing nothing. Hopefully by the end of the weekend I can motivate myself to have a shower! How do you manage this problem?

V1234 First step taken... anxious / despressed for no good reason
  • replies: 2

Hi there, This is my first post here. This week's been tough, I have woken up and cried every morning. I have come to terms with the fact that I have mild depression and anxiety and it's been very confronting to admit that. I don't have a story as su... View more

Hi there, This is my first post here. This week's been tough, I have woken up and cried every morning. I have come to terms with the fact that I have mild depression and anxiety and it's been very confronting to admit that. I don't have a story as such, I come from a good family/friends/fiancé - however feel anxious and depressed. For many years, I told myself I don't have any 'thing' to be sad about and brushed the feelings aside again and again. I told myself to move on / focus on the positives and other clichés. But late last week I couldn't do this any longer. With the help of a close friend who said 'mate you've got the black dog and you need some help'... I went to see my GP, got a mental health plan and got some time with a Psychologist. I'm embarrassed that I feel this way 'for no good reason' I'm also a bit scared of needing medication to help me get better. I can't keep crying everyday. I'm also worried about recovering/adjusting to medication while continuing working. Thank you for reading.

BlueEyes22 Always the strong one, now I'm not.
  • replies: 1

Hi, I am new here. I'm 32 and have suffered from depression and GAD since I was a late teen. I pride myself on being strong and try my best to never let others see just how despairing I am. I guess it's a survival mechanism. The thing is, I'm having ... View more

Hi, I am new here. I'm 32 and have suffered from depression and GAD since I was a late teen. I pride myself on being strong and try my best to never let others see just how despairing I am. I guess it's a survival mechanism. The thing is, I'm having to work extra hard at acting at the moment and I feel like I'm having a breakdown. Everything just seems to be going wrong and usually when life knocks me down, I get up fighting but right now, I don't feel as if I can get back up. I can feel myself pushing away the people I love because it's just too hard for me to explain what's happening inside my head. Yes, I am seeing a psychiatrist. Yes, in the past I've tried CBT. Yes, those closest to me do know that I suffer a mental illness. But, I don't feel like anything is helping me right now. My fiancé lost his job 4 months ago. I've been weaning off a prescribed medication since March that has been a demon on my shoulder for 8 years, which means I haven't been able to work. (Another story all together). We've had to move back in with my parents. My Mum is an alcoholic. No, we don't have any other reasonable options for accommodation whilst out of work. We're running out of money. We spent years saving for a house deposit and it's all dwindling away. Supposed to be getting married next year - already postponed once because of money or lack of. No, I don't want to give up my dream of a wedding day and just get married at a registrar's office. I've had numerous health scares which fortunately turned out ok. Both mine and my fiance's cars were stolen (Another long story). Both found stripped and burnt. Mine was insured, his was not. I am currently a full time carer for my mum and my dog - they've both had new knees put in. But I don't receive centrelink (for Mum) because of a multitude of reasons - too long of a story to explain. I have so much pressure and stress going on inside my head. I'm exhausted. I'm despairing. I feel alone in a room full of people. I once heard this quote about depression - "A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to see the end. The fog is like a cage without a key." There's so much more to my story, but not enough words, energy or time to explain..How can I pull myself up out of this rut? I know I need to pick myself up again, but don't know how? I've tried positive affirmations. Any advice? Thank you.

Hatethefeeling Really lost today and I can feel the storm swelling
  • replies: 3

hi, so many things floating around in my head and Im not sure where to start or even what to say. I was 'diagnosed' with PTSD 5yrs ago. I say 'diagnosed' because even though I am sure thats what it is I could no longer afford to see the psychologist ... View more

hi, so many things floating around in my head and Im not sure where to start or even what to say. I was 'diagnosed' with PTSD 5yrs ago. I say 'diagnosed' because even though I am sure thats what it is I could no longer afford to see the psychologist for a variety of reasons so didn't really investigate it. I am married, albeit unhappily, and have 3 wonderful children, d-22,s-17,d-15, whom I live each day for. I know deep inside that I need to try and access something, anything that can help me ride these crises, but I continue to ride each day out until it passes. The smallest of things, today it was rejection, rejection confirming that I am not an attractive person, that I am fat and not worthy of anything, that I am stupid and a drama queen. i suppose they are right, I am my entire story would take up the allotted 2500 words and its messy and probably not the right place for it. I am also not proud of some of the paths i have taken so by not acknowledging them seems to make them go away, if only for the briefest of times. Today, I've been on the brink of tears for most of the day but tell myself to shrug to off and get on with things. sitting here typing this I am holding back the tears, the kids are home and this is not their problem they don't need it, can't show any weakness. The husband is here, can't let him see I'm struggling cos he doesn't understand nor does he show he cares, this is all his fault. well maybe not all, but i feel a majority of it is so what do I do, where do I turn. I have no friends, he made sure of that. I can't be seen to 'waste' money on a psychologist because its a waste and doesn't work anyway, according to him. so i spend most days sitting on the iPad playing an online game and interacting with my 'friends' who don't judge or care but are there and treat me with respect. even getting to the supermarket is a challenge, mainly because i can't be bothered. I've gained weight and don't even care, well i sort of do, but its easier not to HELP..I'm lost and don't know where to turn

south_coast_aspie I'm in very bad situation with no help at all.
  • replies: 2

I am self diagnosed aspergers or somewhere on autism spectrum I am not as high functioning as aspies but I also have diagnosed major depression and severe anxiety that complicates it and have had it for about 28 years the depression and anxiety and t... View more

I am self diagnosed aspergers or somewhere on autism spectrum I am not as high functioning as aspies but I also have diagnosed major depression and severe anxiety that complicates it and have had it for about 28 years the depression and anxiety and the bad panic attacks started as a teenager. Noone picked up the autism in childhood they knew something was wrong but didnt really know what because I could read write and talk and had high IQ they never thought of it I guess. They tested me for epilepsy because I would trance out in class and not be responsive or communicate properly they thought it was seizures.As I am now 33 I have had a lifelong battle with poverty, housing and accessing medical and dental assistance. I cannot drive and I live in rural NSW on a 2 acre small hobby farm with my mother. My life has been here for 8 years and I have a great love of animals they have been my only friends and only family that gives a stuff about me at all is my mother but she is also not well mental health problems also possibly mildly autistic but not diagnosed and she has a range of health problems. We have 2 acres but our house is very small and mum hoards stuff theres not much room not really any kitchen our taps dont all work and our front door is jammed so bad I broke or damaged my wrist before easter I am only guessing it is broken because it initially hurt and I can see the bone sticking up under my skin in my wrist with a big gap where the joint was. I have reduced mobility in my hand and wrist and I never got to a doctor. Theres no transport my mum drives but getting her to take me anywhere can take a long time and she dosnt always want to leave the house. I also had a filling fall out of my front tooth and havnt been able to see a dentist its got to where I dont really care about it and manage to ignore a lot of the pain. I am not very verbal anymore over the years I have become less verbally able to communicate and I canot talk on the phone very well and this makes my anxiety a lot worse and I end up having a panic attack if the phone even rings. I it was up to me I would have it unplugged. I dont use mobile phones at all and just using the computer is hard so this is taking a lot of effort to come on here.

NomzieG How do i explain?
  • replies: 4

I've been recently starting to see someone again who I have been friends with for years and who has seen me before everything went down hill. Now that I have a mental health problem, he just doesn't understand anything I say when it comes to how I'm ... View more

I've been recently starting to see someone again who I have been friends with for years and who has seen me before everything went down hill. Now that I have a mental health problem, he just doesn't understand anything I say when it comes to how I'm feeling or if my thoughts get the better of me or just down to depression. How can I explain to him how I'm feeling in a way that someone with no experience being around someone with mental health issues. Its becoming really heard for me because all I want to do is talk to him without a mini argument of it and at the moment I'm feeling like I'm walking on eggshells just to pretend I'm happy not just around him but around others as well. How can I explain to him in a way he may start to understand not fully but just a little so I don't get triggered?

Fishdrums Wife is not helpful
  • replies: 3

So, I have been very recently diagnosed with depression, though I haven't been myself for quite some time. My wife has noticed a change in me, but she had never approached me to talk. I am usually fairly quiet, and not a big talker when it comes to m... View more

So, I have been very recently diagnosed with depression, though I haven't been myself for quite some time. My wife has noticed a change in me, but she had never approached me to talk. I am usually fairly quiet, and not a big talker when it comes to my feeings anyway. We have been through a hellish two years of family court proceedings regarding her two children, which has put a lot of strain on our marriage. I have always tried to be the rock she needs. But now that I have a name to call this horrible, lonely condition, she has retreated and is treating me like I have a contagious disease. During my worst depressive episodes, she runs. It's like she is in denial. She has admitted that it's hard for her to stop and help me, when the four children take up so much of her time. She is clearly not coping, but I find it difficult to be so concerned about her when I can't see through my own gloom. I am so alone in my marriage. Can anyone relate?

Sadsmile New here......struggling to function
  • replies: 3

Hi ive suffered on and off with depression for years but its back with a vengeance right now. Im weepy constantly, struggling to cope with mundane daily tasks and been told by my employer that if i dont work full time i will lose my job (they dont kn... View more

Hi ive suffered on and off with depression for years but its back with a vengeance right now. Im weepy constantly, struggling to cope with mundane daily tasks and been told by my employer that if i dont work full time i will lose my job (they dont know about the depression yet, ive got other physical issues ive told them about) im a mess in front of my children and im isolating myself in a panic and cant face work tomorrow. Help me

Minion Advice or friendly ear
  • replies: 4

Hi people. I'm having a rough time and thought I should attempt to seek help while I'm not in denial. I've spent my life looking after people with mental health issues, personally, I was even studying to make it my career. My partner had several suic... View more

Hi people. I'm having a rough time and thought I should attempt to seek help while I'm not in denial. I've spent my life looking after people with mental health issues, personally, I was even studying to make it my career. My partner had several suicide attempts before an amazing two years where he rebuilt and became the strongest person i know. Unfortunately I find myself lost because I don't need to take care of him anymore (not a conscious activity on my behalf) I have slowly lost my way over the last 18 months I guess, although I'm not sure I was ever particularly stable, never in a happy place, more numb. I know what I should do in my situation, from life experience with my partner and my psychologist training I started, I need help because everyone has bad times etc. however my brain and the rest of me seem to be ignoring each other. I rate 34 on a k10, consider self harm or passing thoughts about not being around (nothing acted on). I plaster a fake facade to get through work but the energy it takes is extraordinary, and when my obligations are met I fall in a heap and am unable to even cook tea most of the time. My house is a disgusting mess, I don't pay enough attention to my wonderful son, and although my partner and I have always been best friends, I wonder when he will finally leave me because I don't fully satisfy marital issues (although he says of course I do and he'd never leave). I stopped studying because it was easier to work (minimum wage type) and because I feel too exhausted to deal with other people's problems but my exhaustion is no better. I can't take time off because I work for family who can't manage without me. Little voice in my head says I did that deliberately albeit unconsciously. My self worth has never been great but is equal to the kitty litter tray right now, and the only time I feel better is lying in bed with my cat for company because he doesn't need me to act a certain way. My partner tries to be supportive but I feel disconnected from him because he has his life together. I don't want to take medication because I feel that makes others see that I'm an unfit parent and I worry about my son being taken away from me. I don't know how to see a counsellor because I'm not sure I'm strong enough to take any more home truths about how screwed up i am. Rationally I know things need to change and I need to change them but realistically I'm so tired. And feel so useless and lost. And sad. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.