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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the chats on this Forum having been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Just_Lost All the help I can get
  • replies: 17

Been low for a long time I think.Bought up 7 children who are my rocks.Hubby is Fifo worker 10 years ongoing.Have always held it together somehow but now I'm crumbling.i feel so lost and confused about everything these days.cannot sleep, cannot eat.C... View more

Been low for a long time I think.Bought up 7 children who are my rocks.Hubby is Fifo worker 10 years ongoing.Have always held it together somehow but now I'm crumbling.i feel so lost and confused about everything these days.cannot sleep, cannot eat.Concentrating on anything is very difficult.I cry a lot.Go for days without even speaking sometimes when I'm home alone,which is a lot .i have never felt so helpless to help myself.my husband does not understand at all why I'm always blue.he is a very social person. My stomach churns constantly and I feel nervous most of the time. Some days I feel like I've no reason to be here really, though I know I do.My only constant is my daily work. routinely day in day out just do don't have to think because thinking is just to hard right now because it's all such a mess.im about to see a Doctor this Friday prompted by a friend.Im hoping it's a start on the right track because this black hole is consuming my every waking minute leaving me exhausted, vague and detached .I feel at this point that there is no hope really ....so please please assure me I can overcome this demon and beat it and begin to live again....please. 800x600 beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif";}

Santana Struggling to remember the good stuff
  • replies: 10

Hi, I've suffered from both generalised anxiety and depression for a number of years. At present I feel I'm slipping into depression again, feeling disconnected and sad. One of my on going challenges is to remember the good stuff. When I think back i... View more

Hi, I've suffered from both generalised anxiety and depression for a number of years. At present I feel I'm slipping into depression again, feeling disconnected and sad. One of my on going challenges is to remember the good stuff. When I think back in time, it's the negative experiences that I remember most, and I find myself beating myself up over stuff that happened long ago. Anyone else out there experiencing something similar? What do you find helpful? I've read about mindfulness but I find it quite difficult to put into practice.

lolamoonrock I don't feel like a real person
  • replies: 4

I don't know what's wrong with me. A couple of years , even when I was in an abusive relationship, I was still interested in lots of things and being involved with activities and people. But now I feel like an empty husk. The only things I feel I can... View more

I don't know what's wrong with me. A couple of years , even when I was in an abusive relationship, I was still interested in lots of things and being involved with activities and people. But now I feel like an empty husk. The only things I feel I can manage to do is blog on tumblr; even on there I find it difficult to be involved with people and interests. I have a lovely new partner, but I feel like I don't bring anything to the table, that I'm there like a doll. I have no urge to do anything productive, I have no skills, I can't commit to interests anymore. I feel like I exist as some kind of doll, I'm not actually living a life. I despise my past, especially because I feel that my ex ruined me psychologically, I don't like the person I am now and I have no motivation to become better, and the future I want seems like a big joke because I won't achieve it. I just want to slip into sleep and not wake up.beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

MegW Trust
  • replies: 3

For years I have had depression, I am better now then in the last twenty years having taken control over some aspects of my life such as work and how I live. For years I worked hard and gave much and only others benefited. I am 45 now, I have little,... View more

For years I have had depression, I am better now then in the last twenty years having taken control over some aspects of my life such as work and how I live. For years I worked hard and gave much and only others benefited. I am 45 now, I have little, I left my marriage with nothing and was in an accident that left me in debt, I have no savings but if I keep going I will be able to clear my debts by the end of next year and be able to save to have my own home. I worry that it's too late in life for me to be able to save and pay off a home and I'll always have to just rent someone elses but I can only try, atleast either way I can afford my lifestyle, to keep a roof over my head and take care of my pets. I went on a few dates after my marriage but the last ended after three months when he asked if I would support him so that he didn't have to go to work anymore. After that I dismissed the idea of subjecting myself to any form of relationship, I have been on my own for two years, I have no family and my only human interaction is with work colleagues, I spend weekends alone with my pets for company and feel happy with this, I only occasionally think it may be nice to have someone to converse with or do activities with or hug. I tried to join a bike club but found I actually prefer cycling alone, I joined the dog club and having a common interest through the dogs helps interacting with the people. I feel safer, more comfortable and less stressed living alone then I ever did living with someone else. I don't feel judged, put down or hurt, I only occasionally feel lonely, bored or afraid. I feel good about myself when I achieve things and in my ability to manage my own affairs without a need to rely on anyone else. Sometimes I try to imagine in another relationship or even just giving one a go but I dismiss the idea because I can't trust my ability to judge a good person from a bad one and am too afraid. I think some people in life become so broken that they lose the ability to try again, people may say that I am cutting myself off from things that may turn out to be wonderful but I am also protecting myself from any further loss and pain. I have an inability to try to trust any longer. I have a tattoo which reads Trust No1 which can be read to mean either Trust Noone or Trust Number One and I do trust noone not even myself as I have made too many errors of judgement in the past. Is it wrong to not trust ever again, why does it matter if I don't?

Conch Why now?
  • replies: 4

I'm sitting on the couch at midnight, sobbing. Why does this hit with no warning? My daughter is home from boarding school, my family are all well, safe. There is no reason to feel this way. It is so frustrating! This year I have had to resign from w... View more

I'm sitting on the couch at midnight, sobbing. Why does this hit with no warning? My daughter is home from boarding school, my family are all well, safe. There is no reason to feel this way. It is so frustrating! This year I have had to resign from work due to anxiety and depression. For several weeks now it has felt like a huge weight has been lifted, and I was actually happy. Then tonight it feels like I am suffocating and I don't know why. I have read a lot of others' thoughts, things to try, but I just can't bring myself to do anything. I also feel ridiculous writing this, looking for what? I'm not sure, just a need to know that it affects others in the same way I suppose, that I'm not going crazy. I'm sitting here hoping my husband doesn't wake up because he won't know what to do or say, how to make it better, and then he will feel bad too. beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

alivalentine Struggling to talk to family & friends about mental health issues
  • replies: 4

About 4 months ago, I was let go from my job and my mental health began to spiral. I sat through a mental health assessment with my GP and was told I scored extremely high with depression and anxiety. I suspect that I have had depression on varying s... View more

About 4 months ago, I was let go from my job and my mental health began to spiral. I sat through a mental health assessment with my GP and was told I scored extremely high with depression and anxiety. I suspect that I have had depression on varying scales since I was a teenager but have always struggled to open myself up to others for fear of humiliation or judgement so I always swept it under the rug. Since losing my job, I have been having increasingly negative thought patterns, mostly feelings of extreme guilt that I am letting others in my life down because of how I am acting and feeling or worse, I will make assumptions of what those people may be thinking about me and those assumptions turn to fact in my head. This in turn has made me feel the need to withdraw from my family and friends. I have been struggling to find a counsellor who I am comfortable talking to, but also who operates outside normal business hours (as to not conflict with my new job), and is bulk billed as my husband and I are experiencing hardship. I had an extremely bad day a few weeks ago where I just felt that there was no hope of receiving any kind of help, and unfortunately had a family get together later that night where I reacted irrationally to a comment someone made which left me in an anxiety attack and unable to stop myself crying for hours. My husband took me home and I told my mum and brother that I would open up to them about it when I was ready. I still don't feel as though I am ready to talk to them, but if I have learnt anything from other people's experiences, it is that having a support network is one of the best things you can do. My issue is that I don't know how to begin talking, or what sort of reaction I will get. I have this overwhelming fear that if people know the thoughts that I am having, they won't want to know me and I'm not sure how to push past it. Any advice would be amazing.

Steven1 Worried how I am going to cope when my wife gives birth to child number 2 in a few weeks...
  • replies: 15

Hi everyone. I am relatively new to the forums. Have found it helpful so far (thanks all for your support to those that have written to me). Just need to vent really about my situation at the moment as I am worrying a lot.. I am a 30 year old married... View more

Hi everyone. I am relatively new to the forums. Have found it helpful so far (thanks all for your support to those that have written to me). Just need to vent really about my situation at the moment as I am worrying a lot.. I am a 30 year old married guy with a young son (he will be 3 in May) and my wife is 35 weeks pregnant and will be having our second child in the next few weeks. She is most likely going to have to have a Caesar too so will be needing even more support from me. I work full time doing shift work at all weird and wonderful hours but will get a few weeks off when the baby comes. I have only been on antidepressants about 6 months but have probably been depressed for a few years. Was in denial for a long time. My wife reckons I haven't been the same man since our son was born in 2012 and I tend to agree. As much as I adore and love my son to bits, I have struggled with fatherhood and the way it has changed my life (and our relationship) forever. I feel like I have no time at all for me anymore and am really worried this will get even worse when the baby comes. I am excited about the birth but also really scared! Saw my doctor recently and she thinks I should stay on the tablets for now and thinks I am going to need them for a while. Have recently been trying to increase the amount of physical activity I am doing with some success but can't see it lasting once baby arrives. There just isn't going to be anytime.. I am sure anyone with young kids or kids in general can relate?? Or am I wrong? Finding it very difficult to relax and wind down after work. I come home and it is straight into playing cars, toilet training, cleaning up endless mess and trying to maintain a house, garden and pay bills etc. I know I sound like a real whinger and this is just everyday life, but how am I going to cope with a new born baby on top of all of this too? And try and manage my moods and find time for me. It is going to be a real struggle. Feel sick just thinking about it to be honest.

Just_Lost Not a good day
  • replies: 1

Really struggling today....feeling anxious, agitated, cannot concentrate. Today my focus..get through try to be rational and calm... why and how did I get to this place, I pray this gets better.

Really struggling today....feeling anxious, agitated, cannot concentrate. Today my focus..get through try to be rational and calm... why and how did I get to this place, I pray this gets better.

Guest_485 . . . Against Proverbial Walls
  • replies: 17

I hate hearing the term, “you have all the strategies, the rest is up to you”. It genuinely feels like a sinking anchor in my gut. Very rarely do I actually reach out for help, and when I do it is such an incredibly difficult thing to do. I want to b... View more

I hate hearing the term, “you have all the strategies, the rest is up to you”. It genuinely feels like a sinking anchor in my gut. Very rarely do I actually reach out for help, and when I do it is such an incredibly difficult thing to do. I want to be like everyone else must be. I want to light a candle and feel relaxed. I want to meditate and feel at peace. I want to get so lost in the movie that I put on, that I forget why I needed to watch it in the first place. In times like these, I wonder why I can’t be like those people. I know everyone is different, but I can run through my entire list and still come up empty. This whole idea of just sitting with how I feel, that never feels okay with me. If something isn’t right, I want to fix it, you know?? Often times, after attempting to gain support or advice from other professionals, I’m left with empty hands. It just reinforces my worst fear – that I’m too different. I’m too difficult, I’m too messed up. Do you ever experience this?? How do you pull yourself out of slumps when it feels like everything you have tried has failed, and everyone else is stumped too??

Cookie2 Sad, lonely and pushing away the last person I have
  • replies: 2

I've always been introverted and enjoy the company of animals over people, I tend to be anti-social, finding excuses to not participate in social events although most people think I am some sort of social butterfly. I have a tendency to be pessimisti... View more

I've always been introverted and enjoy the company of animals over people, I tend to be anti-social, finding excuses to not participate in social events although most people think I am some sort of social butterfly. I have a tendency to be pessimistic yet for some reason people tend to come to me for support for their problems (which I like). I find it easy to be positive for everyone else but myself. I have been this type of supportive person since I was young - initially for Mum and my older brother who needed help due to issues in our own home (i.e domestic violence, emotional abuse, etc)... so I have grown up as someone who is a strong support for others, who never allowed my own vulnerability to show. I was the one who did well with sport and academics, who enjoyed learning and was assumed to be destined for success, etc so even I thought I was a strong person who didn't "need help".The reality is that, I have a lot of self doubt, and I have been a miserable person and have had dark thoughts from a very young age. To be honest I am surprised that I have made it as long as 27. I am insecure most of the time, especially in relationships - and lately more than ever in my marriage. I feel that I have managed my sadness by having at least one good thing... friends/Mum/studies/sport/work etc... not always all at the same time. It is my birthday in a couple of days and upon reflecting on my life... I realise I am at my lowest point because I don't have ANY of those positive things keeping me afloat. I realised over the past 12 months that my friends don't like me all that much. I have stopped contacting them. I have no fitness activities or goals to keep me going like before, despite trying, no motivation. My role at work is unnecessary and I am considered as extra headcount that needs to be shifted elsewhere. I feel like a burden at work. I have a LOT of resentment for my mother for putting me in the position she did at a young age, which she STILL continues to do (she is still with my Dad and they are so horrible to each other).Then it leaves the last person, my husband, my 4 month old marriage, 3.5yr relationship. My biggest worry right now is that I am ruining my relationship with my husband and driving him into depression. I love him so much and I can't see a future without him, but I sincerely believe that he would find happiness with someone else. He could do a lot better, and he deserves much better. Don't know where to begin. I see no light. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}