About 4 months ago, I was let go from my job and my mental health began to spiral. I sat through a mental health assessment with my GP and was told I scored extremely high with depression and anxiety. I suspect that I have had depression on varying scales since I was a teenager but have always struggled to open myself up to others for fear of humiliation or judgement so I always swept it under the rug.
Since losing my job, I have been having increasingly negative thought patterns, mostly feelings of extreme guilt that I am letting others in my life down because of how I am acting and feeling or worse, I will make assumptions of what those people may be thinking about me and those assumptions turn to fact in my head. This in turn has made me feel the need to withdraw from my family and friends. I have been struggling to find a counsellor who I am comfortable talking to, but also who operates outside normal business hours (as to not conflict with my new job), and is bulk billed as my husband and I are experiencing hardship.
I had an extremely bad day a few weeks ago where I just felt that there was no hope of receiving any kind of help, and unfortunately had a family get together later that night where I reacted irrationally to a comment someone made which left me in an anxiety attack and unable to stop myself crying for hours. My husband took me home and I told my mum and brother that I would open up to them about it when I was ready. I still don't feel as though I am ready to talk to them, but if I have learnt anything from other people's experiences, it is that having a support network is one of the best things you can do. My issue is that I don't know how to begin talking, or what sort of reaction I will get. I have this overwhelming fear that if people know the thoughts that I am having, they won't want to know me and I'm not sure how to push past it.
Any advice would be amazing.
