Depression

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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
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Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
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I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
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Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

All discussions

OliviaD dealing with grief i don’t feel like i deserve
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In January of this year I found out I was pregnant. I’m not even 20 yet. I knew I wanted kids at some point and I’ve been with my partner for 2 years, but I’m only halfway through my undergrad and have a masters and phd left to do still. I remember t... View more

In January of this year I found out I was pregnant. I’m not even 20 yet. I knew I wanted kids at some point and I’ve been with my partner for 2 years, but I’m only halfway through my undergrad and have a masters and phd left to do still. I remember the day I found out so clearly, I knew something was wrong, I had missed my period by a couple weeks, I was nauseous and fatigued all the time, I just knew what it was. The test came back pretty quickly and I called my partner to tell him then went to his house that night. It wasn’t like I hadn’t prepared for this possibility, I knew the decision I would have to make if it ever happened. But when I drove home all I could think about was that I had a baby, something that came from me and came from love, something that would be both of us. I don’t know how to explain it other than the world before that moment felt meaningless and I had a purpose. I loved my baby more than anything else in the world. Still, I felt pressured by my own expectations and the expectations of those around me to make the decision that was going to most benefit me. We got an ultrasound and saw the heartbeat and got the due date and I decided my baby was a boy and I named him and I just loved him so much. I guess the stress of everything got to me because I ended up miscarrying before I could make that decision about what I wanted to do. I have been devastated ever since, it feels like the world has lost its colour, I think about my baby every day and how much I failed him, how I’ll never get to meet the person he could’ve been or told him that I loved him or even just held him once. My partner doesn’t get it, he’s sad about it as well, but not in the same way. I just feel like I have no one I can talk to about it because I have all this grief and I don’t know where to put it and I feel invalid in it because I only knew about him for such a short amount of time and before that a baby was not a near possibility. I wish I could know if he hates me, or if he at least knows I love him and I tried my best. Will this feeling ever go away? Or will the world be dark forever because I honestly haven’t felt happy for a single day since. I just feel so guilty all of the time, and I feel so alone in my guilt and my grief and I don’t know what to do anymore.

NO_N4ME Vent
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What do you do if you just feel numb all of the time. I used to feel sad a lot and really depressed, but now I just feel nothing. I match everyone’s energy when I’m around people, so they don’t think something is wrong. Should I be worried because I ... View more

What do you do if you just feel numb all of the time. I used to feel sad a lot and really depressed, but now I just feel nothing. I match everyone’s energy when I’m around people, so they don’t think something is wrong. Should I be worried because I feel nothing? Or is it better?

Shelly Son passed
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Our son no passed away unexpectedly almost a year ago and I’m still finding it hard

Our son no passed away unexpectedly almost a year ago and I’m still finding it hard

ssSushiCat Things have been going so bad for me. What do I do?
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Things have been going so bad for me lately. I am autistic and I have adhd. Also a crap tonn of trauma (and probably ptsd) from growing up in an emotionally unavailable and abusive household. Idk what to do anymore. I am currently living with my moth... View more

Things have been going so bad for me lately. I am autistic and I have adhd. Also a crap tonn of trauma (and probably ptsd) from growing up in an emotionally unavailable and abusive household. Idk what to do anymore. I am currently living with my mother. We have very bad fights like all the time. She takes a lot of my emotions personally, says that I am constantly (verbally) attacking and terrorising her (not true) etc. She even called me an abuser when I tried to pack my bags and leave. Said a bunch of stuff like "you can't do this to me" etc. I don't understand what I am doing wrong anymore. I just wanna live my life in peace. Yesterday I had a bad meltdown (which lead to me having a horrible fight with my mum again and i ended up having a panic attack) cause I honestly i can't handle this shit anymore. I have no money, no car/licence no job, no luck and no energy to get a job. And my plans to go to uni where ruined by absolutely horrible burnout. This is not how i planned things to go. I feel stuck, idk what to do. I even tried contacting the beyond blue counciling and that didn't work cause there was a point where it stopped sending my messages rendering the whole thing useless. I have no money for a therapist. I don't have anyone to talk to. And I can't talk to my mother cause she will just yell at me again. I honestly just wanna leave and never speak with my mother again. I did that with my father who was a narcissist. But thats not really an option right now as I have no job or money and nowhere to go. I also still wanna go to uni and if I do that I will have to give up on that. Honestly with how bad things have been going for me i genually think I shouldn't even be alife at this point. Idk what do I do? How do I help myself? I feel so tired and alone.

randomxx Depression - life
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Hi to all.Some will know l've had my ups and downs for sure but l wanted to start this as a new and separate thread bc the old one wound up all about gf ex.Just for the most that won't know though and happen to drop in, l got rid of of my place 6mths... View more

Hi to all.Some will know l've had my ups and downs for sure but l wanted to start this as a new and separate thread bc the old one wound up all about gf ex.Just for the most that won't know though and happen to drop in, l got rid of of my place 6mths back and went caravaning 51/2 mths, just couldn't deal with another place at the time and just felt like a bloody good break and rest first.Wasn't sure how l'd feel about it but it wasn't bad and at times really nice just being free for a bit but later 50s there were also the worries of what to do when l get back. Well back now is too my other place it's not really that l had two houses the second one is just a country block with a cabin in a tiny town that l just rent out, never lived there. Well the tenant moved out so that's where l've come back to, l need to fix it up and sell it toward my new place.This little town this whole thing , not doing me any good at all in this stage of life. l did have to get out of my other place don't regret it it had to be done but it's just been such a huge last 10yrs or so. Divorce and all thenlater on just broken up with later new gf now ex just last yr and now all this and here l am in this place- and then l'll be somewhere else to where l'm thinking of moving to, maybe even building . lf so it'll only be small and minimalist buttt, ldkJust feel like total bs it's all too much and it's like what in the hell am l even doing especially here right now and at this age but ldk how else l could've done things.l had to get out of my last place, l have to be here to fix up this one and it's somewhere at least to stay, it'll be a few mths.Been coming here 20yrs keeping this place up and all the same people are still here couples been together and still here all that time and still sitting in their homes watching tv and doing their lives together.The total opposite lives to mine and now l;m even single and here doing this and then wherever later restarting again andddd, it's all just sooooo, words l can't use here. rx

Zachary_52 OCD - Trapped in my head
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When I started my well-being journey and I discovered self compassion and mindfulness I started to feel good about myself for the first time in years. I thought I had no reason not to love myself because I had no reason to believe I wasn’t a good per... View more

When I started my well-being journey and I discovered self compassion and mindfulness I started to feel good about myself for the first time in years. I thought I had no reason not to love myself because I had no reason to believe I wasn’t a good person but then I remembered certain mistakes from my past and I started to feel bad about feeling good. My mind doesn’t let me feel good because it deems it as unfair because of my past mistakes. If I move on from those mistakes then that would make me a bad person my mind says. They were mistakes made in a time when I had less awareness but those mistakes still exist and It feels wrong to forget about them. They’re always at the back of my mind. I can’t even think clearly because my mind sees mindfulness as a form of self love and it stops it. Any amount of “feeling good” is denied by my mind saying that is unfair. I’m trapped in my head and I have been for a while. I’m on autopilot, I’m not present, my actions are just muscle memory, when I have to make a decision i struggle, I’m mindless, I mask through interactions, I’m not living my life. I feel numb. I need help.

idk_sorry I don’t want help.
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idk if something is wrong or not with me. i feel so low and tired everyday. i have no interest in anything and have had no hobbies at all for ages. all i have the energy for is uni and one shift a week for work but even that’s fizzing away but it doe... View more

idk if something is wrong or not with me. i feel so low and tired everyday. i have no interest in anything and have had no hobbies at all for ages. all i have the energy for is uni and one shift a week for work but even that’s fizzing away but it doesn’t matter because i’ll push myself to do the work anyway because i don’t want to fail and be even more worthless than i already am. i cry so often and my body hurts with ache a lot of the time but i have to keep doing things or i’ll be a failure. im so afraid of making connections anymore and when i do make a friend i usually have break downs about it later. i just want to isolate as now i see socialising as too taxing on top of uni and work. i just want to be alone. i live alone and just started my first year of uni. i’m constantly stressed out of my mind that i’m losing sleep and overeating. i keep hurting myself almost daily and on the only day i have free in my week, the night before it i binge drink until i pass out. i cant tell if this is a problem or not but either way i don’t think i could ever get help because i don’t want people to worry about me. it would hurt too much to burden others so i don’t think i can ever do that no matter how much people say i wouldn’t be a burden. i’m too horrible to deserve support anyway i need to pay for existing right? i don’t know how to fix myself. i’ve tried working on myself before but it just ends up being a distraction or leans into other self destructive behaviours (such a restricting food and over exercising) anyway do you think i can keep living like this and it’ll just get better by itself? i’m worried that i’ll get worse but the thing is if i do get worse i still am unable to reach out. i just don’t know what to do. maybe it’s all fine and i’m overreacting about normal things. sorry if i am. anyway yeah i’m really sorry i just wanted to get my thoughts out i don’t even really know what i’m asking at this point. i’m so sorry.

Alone Heres the thing
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Apparently I am bipolar according to two therapists and a doctor, but here's the thing, self care is not my strong suit so I cycle in and out of feeling pretty much nothing to feeling everything. You'd think I would be better at coping with life by n... View more

Apparently I am bipolar according to two therapists and a doctor, but here's the thing, self care is not my strong suit so I cycle in and out of feeling pretty much nothing to feeling everything. You'd think I would be better at coping with life by now but it's just the same thing over and over. I hate myself because why can't I deal with just ordinary things people deal with everyday? Why do I have to be broken?

Lexi Invisible
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Hey I'm Lexi and I'm in a relationship with a girl that I love with my whole heart but at the moment I am invisible to her and have been ignored by her for 2 days now and on going. I have never reached out before but I have now because I'm scared of ... View more

Hey I'm Lexi and I'm in a relationship with a girl that I love with my whole heart but at the moment I am invisible to her and have been ignored by her for 2 days now and on going. I have never reached out before but I have now because I'm scared of how this may end.

OliviaD I can’t socialise and I’m tired of trying
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I feel like life just cannot get better from here and I’ll always be 2 steps behind everyone. I had 3 jobs, one ghosted me, the other I quit because I was terrified to go to work, the other mass laid off every casual, and the one I had lined up had b... View more

I feel like life just cannot get better from here and I’ll always be 2 steps behind everyone. I had 3 jobs, one ghosted me, the other I quit because I was terrified to go to work, the other mass laid off every casual, and the one I had lined up had budget cuts and didn’t hire me after I signed my contract. I think normally it would’ve been fine but I’ve realised lately that I have no one to talk to. I spend 8 hours in a day at university and I don’t talk to anyone the whole day. I barely keep in touch with my friends. I feel like I can’t talk to my family. I only have my boyfriend and he just doesn’t understand. It’s like there’s this massive barrier between me and other people and it’s impossible to get over it. I have always been exceptional, I have a 142 IQ and I was told that when I got older people would be more similar to me and it would easy, but I’m older now and nothing has changed and I just can’t socialise. I’ve never faced failure of any kind before and now I feel alone and stupid, I’ve lost the competition and I can’t function if I’m not winning. And I can’t even help myself because I feel like if someone else buried me alive, why do I have to do all the work to dig myself out? Why can’t someone else pick up a shovel? I’ve done everything correctly and I still feel like people who have done everything wrong and cheated are beating me, like I’m being punished and I’m the only one. I don’t want to just be average and get by, I truly feel like I’m supposed to do and have more, and now I don’t know what to do. My brain is hurting me every day, I see patterns in everything, my senses are on fire, my thoughts scream at me over the top of each other in a cacophony of madness, it’s starting to become too much for me to handle. I know great minds often fall into madness, I’m starting to think my psychiatrist lied or I fluked my IQ test, I don’t feel like a genius I feel like a madman, and it is taking everything in me to not turn to vices that will help silence the noise. I’ve felt like this my whole life and I don’t know if I can continue to feel this way anymore, I don’t want to fight my own brain forever, I don’t want to constantly be drowning in the noise of my own thoughts or to see things as vividly as I see them. I don’t quite want to die, but I think if it was as easy as flipping a switch I would. Sometimes I want to cut that thread connecting me to reality and fall into my head completely because I’m safe there and I have friends I talk to in my own world in my mind and they understand me and I don’t have to try. Idk, this was mostly a vent, any advice on making friends as an adult who is pretending to be introverted to avoid rejection would be greatly appreciated.