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What should I do?

TheKingOfHearts
Community Member

Hey guys.

 

I'm back again.

 

and I’m now trialing more antidepressants not sure if I’ve mentioned it but I’ve tried a few medications that ended up giving me really bad anxiety and the other one extreme tiredness.

 

so now I’m waiting to see the doctor to change antidepressants.

 

i also suffer from autism and schizophrenia because one mental disorder isn’t enough for one person apparently.

 

and I’m really struggling with the problem of things never going to be okay or perfect.

 

I find the idea of having a life less than what I want it to be extremely hard to deal with and it causes me a great deal of suffering.

 

i see my cousin having this beautiful lavish life filled with three houses, cars for the entire family, three two week long vacations and expensive purses along with the trifecta of health, good looks and love and I am very jealous and envious of her.

 

I want that, I want to experience the good life, a life of wealth and health.

 

happiness in a word is wealthy to me.

 

sure wealth doesn’t buy you happiness but it makes life a thousand times better.

 

and the thing about me is I’m poor, I’m in poverty along with my mother, I hate having this broken down stuff, the fridge, the slow and weak, thin water etc

 

i wish for a better life and it’s not just the wealth, it’s the health, her and all her kids have great health.

 

buy I don’t, I’ve got mental and physical conditions.

 

I’m sad all the time especially because of my lack of energy, the fact I cannot even get out of bed, shower, cook, clean, work etc I’m on the pension.

 

i have no friends and no family besides my mother and those on Facebook.

 

i have no lover and no past relationships, I’ve never had a boyfriend.

 

And I’m over it all, I also especially hate my side effects

 

the dry mouth, the hunger, the weight gain, the inability to enjoy a night out because I can’t drink.

 

its terrible so I’ve come back seeking more advice.

 

what should I do?

I have asked for various advice before but all about bits and pieces now here is the whole story.

what would you do in my situation?

 

when things will never be perfect, when I will always be unhealthy and poor and chained to my meds like a slave to the medical community? 

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