Young people

how the hell do i come out of this

• replies: 10

this is part of my story and the side that hurts the most. you see i'm bisexual and my mother is Christian so my problem starts in that statement. I've questioned my sexuality from late yr 6 to early yr 7 and came with a definite answer quarter to ha... View more

this is part of my story and the side that hurts the most. you see i'm bisexual and my mother is Christian so my problem starts in that statement. I've questioned my sexuality from late yr 6 to early yr 7 and came with a definite answer quarter to halfway through yr 7. my eldest sister is also bi and therefor I knew what mum's opinion on it was and it didn't make me feel any better (this pain also became a major contributor to my self harm issue) and so I didn't decide to tell her anytime soon. after about a year later from the time I accepted this fact, I ended up telling her (it happened through a fight though) and ever since she has said nothing but Christian lectures about it. things like, this is all from the devil and i'm "possessed by demons and shit like that. ever since then I regret so badly ever telling her about it all and as time has passed I have opened up a lot more to her about my mental illnesses to her but its the same annoying lectures evrytime. I am perfectly fine with who I am as a person but she disagrees with a lot of it and its frustrating. I know god is real and all but I don't agree with everything he says is wrong and right and shit like that. I find it so hard to live with myself cause she wont leave me as I am but insists on "healing" and shit, so I feel worse and worse about myself everytime she talks about it like that. she hasn't been Christian the whole time but ever since I was 9-10 yrs of age she has been and im currently about to turn 14. how do you live with yourself when your own mother makes you feel like crap just because you disagree with her ideals and beliefs. I know she loves me and she just doesn't know how to handle the situation and stuff but how do you keep yourself alive when your own mother wont support you for who you are along with living with the fact that if she wasn't Christian she would support me. how do you live with yourself when you feel like this.

hi

• replies: 9

Relationships and anxiety

• replies: 3

Hi, I am a student in high school and i got asked out by a guy and i actually had a anxiety attack and completely broke down. I actually really like him but i have so much trouble with relationships and i dont know what to do.

Hi, I am a student in high school and i got asked out by a guy and i actually had a anxiety attack and completely broke down. I actually really like him but i have so much trouble with relationships and i dont know what to do.

I want to help.

• replies: 5

Hi my names tianna, i had depression and anxiety which lead to an eating disorder for who knows how long, i had trouble fitting in at school and got bullied alot for being different. I dident want to open up to anyone. my depression was getting worse... View more

Hi my names tianna, i had depression and anxiety which lead to an eating disorder for who knows how long, i had trouble fitting in at school and got bullied alot for being different. I dident want to open up to anyone. my depression was getting worse every day and i would purge after every meal i was so terrified of being fat and being judged so i made sure i was perfect. i started to self-harm and attempted suicide more than once but it never worked, i just wanted to leave i couldent handle the bullies and the pain they brought me anymore. my parents relized i wasent eating , that night they sat me down and talked, they tried to help but it dident work. I tried counseling and talking about my feelings writing a journal but i only got worse, it got so bad that i could hardly walk, i dident even want to get out of bed the morning and hoped i would never wake up when i went to bed at night. just as i thought no one could help me and was ready to end it all for good, something happened. one night i fainted in my room, my dad drove me into the hospital. they took my blod sugar and heart rate and they were a third of what they should normally be, my heart was dropping drastically and the doctors dident think i would make it a week, they transferred me to hospital were they forced food into me and made sure my heart was stable for the night. i was introduced to a diatition she inly deals with people with eating disorders and she helped me understand that im beautiful no matter what anyone else thinks and the only opinion that matters is my own, she taught me how to eat well and stay thin and that im not alone in this she showed me that no matter how bad it gets its only an illness and illnesses can be fixed, she showed me that i always had support and all the people who thought it was fun to pick on me and make me feel like a loser, all they were were bullies and they will always be remembered that way. what im trying to say is that your never alone although you might feel that way trust me i know but there's always some one who cares about you. i care about you. I dont want anyone to have to go through what i went through and i want to help anyone who is going through it to get better and feel good about themselves. you need to learn to love yourself and not care about what anyone else thinks. i hope all you guys can get help like i did talk to someone and get better before its to late.

Newbie looking for a chat! ^^,

• replies: 5

My name is Oliviah and I am 16. Recently I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, but no one has been here for me. I have no one to talk to and someone mentioned beyond blue to me. And here I am.....

My name is Oliviah and I am 16. Recently I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, but no one has been here for me. I have no one to talk to and someone mentioned beyond blue to me. And here I am.....

">I'm so lonely

• replies: 2

Yo, I have no friends, no one understands me or has my back, I don't know who to trust, every day at school I sit by myself and it's driving me crazy. It hurts so much being lonely and this has been happening for nearly 3 years and when I do make "fr... View more

Yo, I have no friends, no one understands me or has my back, I don't know who to trust, every day at school I sit by myself and it's driving me crazy. It hurts so much being lonely and this has been happening for nearly 3 years and when I do make "friends" they turn out to be fake and turn their backs on me. I just want people to see the good in me, you know someone who can stick with me regardless of my flaws or whatever instead of seeing me as that crazy guy with anger issues. Not only that but I feel so worthless, I've literally never achieved or finished anything in my life, when it gets hard I give up like a little bitch. I also feel like I'm losing myself, I've lost interest in things I used to love(Basketball, drawing, etc) and yeah, trying to make this as short as possible so yeah I guess I'm done.

Becoming depressed again? How do I avoid this

• replies: 3

I'm 17 years old and around this time last year I was clinically depressed. I attended therapy for about 4 months however didn't find this useful and stopped it altogether. After this I moved on from my ex boyfriend and moved out of my mums house whe... View more

I'm 17 years old and around this time last year I was clinically depressed. I attended therapy for about 4 months however didn't find this useful and stopped it altogether. After this I moved on from my ex boyfriend and moved out of my mums house where the problems were just before Christmas. i was starting to feel better everyday for 2 months now I've started feeling alone and emotional often. I feel like I'm beginning to rely more on my new boyfriend to feel happy. I feel most of my time is spent at college studying or working at weekends. I've recently started taking the contraceptive pill too. Is there any advice you could give me? thanks, Lauren

My story

• replies: 2

When I was 10 I was molested by my step father for about a year. He lead me to believe that it was normal for a fatherly figure to do. I was scared and he must've been able to tell that I was scared. My mum had no idea because he told me "It was our ... View more

When I was 10 I was molested by my step father for about a year. He lead me to believe that it was normal for a fatherly figure to do. I was scared and he must've been able to tell that I was scared. My mum had no idea because he told me "It was our little secret" When I started getting really uncomfortable and scared I pretended I was asleep just so he would go away. And then slowly it just fizzled out. At 16 I started taking risks that i never realised I was doing until after. Slowly, it got worse to the point of planning my death. I messaged a friend at the time how I couldn't do it anymore and that I felt so alone. They freaked out and told their mum who then called mine. After a few hours of screaming and crying she took me to the hospital where I stayed for a while. It took a few months until I opened up to a psychologist about my step dad. She figured out that what triggers my anxiety attacks were linked to it. So, I confronted my step father about it who apologised profusely. I told him that I had forgiven him but I wanted him to tell mum. Under the assumption that he had told her, we continued to my normal psychiatrist appointment the next day. Mum was acting strange so I asked her what my step dad had told her last night. She replied with "You accused him of sexually touching you but he said he never even did!" She didn't believe me and my step dad denied it. My entire family thought I was crazy. I couch surfed for 3 months, moved into a youth organisation, moved back to mums and now I am at my biological dads. I am now 18 and I have my good days and my bad days. Recently, its has been more bad than good. I feel like I am getting worse. Which has drove me to this...

Feeling So Alone

• replies: 3

I don't usually do anything like this... but I can't stand it any more. I'm so lonely its driving me insane. I cant even sleep at night and I feel so lonely even when I'm around other people. I feel so cut off from others and have no real healthy rel... View more

I don't usually do anything like this... but I can't stand it any more. I'm so lonely its driving me insane. I cant even sleep at night and I feel so lonely even when I'm around other people. I feel so cut off from others and have no real healthy relationships in my life. At school im the class clown that everyone laugh at because I do stupid stuff all the time. But I do it because when people laugh sometimes is easy to forget that they're laughing at e and not with me. For a while it even abated my loneliness but now its still come back. I have a group f friends at school who tolerate me but even when I'm around them i feel so disconnected from everyone and everything. I always feel so incompetent, slow, clumsy and I hate how I look. Inside and out...The loneliness is becoming unbearable and i feel like my head is being ripped apart. I cant stand it any more and I guess this thread is my way to vent..... beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:8.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:107%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

My introduction to anxiety

• replies: 6

Hi All I'm new to all this, and to anxiety. Well to mental illnesses at all. One month ago today my Gran died of Liver Cancer, she was an incredible human being and has left a whole in my world. I have never lost anyone especially close to me so this... View more

Hi All I'm new to all this, and to anxiety. Well to mental illnesses at all. One month ago today my Gran died of Liver Cancer, she was an incredible human being and has left a whole in my world. I have never lost anyone especially close to me so this struggle I've being going through has been as much about accepting Gran's death as it is about death itself. Sorry if this post is long... but I think it will help to let it out a bit. I have read other posts and incredibly after fighting this anxiety for a month this has been the first thing to make me feel normal. So, thank you. Anxiety has a way of making you feel very alone in the world. So I guess this is my story: I spent a lot of time with my Gran throughout her 9 month illness, especially towards the end. I saw her suffer and that's something I will never forget. I sat by her side for 5 days and 4 nights after she was put into a coma. I waited and even wished for her death, so eventually after watching her gasp for breath for 5 days she passed peacefully I thought i would be relieved. Instead I felt numb. Totally numb for 3 days. On the Sunday after I felt sick after eating and suddenly was overcome by the fear of throwing up. I had to leave the room because I couldn't control my shaking in front of my parents. Later that night I felt like I wasn't breathing properly, then suddenly I couldn't really breath at all. I had chest pains and sweats and shakes. Naturally I googled my symptoms. Among the reasonable explanations on the page I saw 'Heart Attack'. Game over until 4 am. I was beside myself all night genuinely believing I was going to die. The next day I saw a GP and was told I had been having anxiety or panic attacks following the traumatic experience the week before. Incredibly I still didn't really believe the doctor. Sometimes I still don't. Especially in the mornings. God I hate mornings now. That may be the worst thing about this anxiety; feeling like I've lost myself. I'm just not sure if I will ever be the same again. That scares me. But I haven't had an attack in 3 days! Whoop! Although I still have anxiety at times during the day. I guess now it's just about finding my way back? Or is that unrealistic? Thanks for listening... or reading more like! Have a good day and be kind to yourselves xx