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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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Crazer21 Am I depressed? Please help.
  • replies: 6

I'm not sure whether or not I'm depressed or not, I'm verbally bullied most days and my friend left the country indefinitely recently so maybe that contributes to it but I feel horrible most days and spend most of the day feeling like I'm about to cr... View more

I'm not sure whether or not I'm depressed or not, I'm verbally bullied most days and my friend left the country indefinitely recently so maybe that contributes to it but I feel horrible most days and spend most of the day feeling like I'm about to cry. I also make videos on YouTube and listen to music like Emma Blackery and Doddleoddle despite the fact that I go to an all boys school and it's going to get worse if anyone finds out. I've taken a few depression self-tests that all said moderate or high but when I talked to my parents about it they said that they thought I wasn't and let the matter slide. Despite this I think that at least something is wrong and don't want to bring it up with my parents again. If you have any advice, pleas tell me, because I don't know what to do.

Sashabratzlol Crushing guilt, and awful nostalgia over breakup
  • replies: 3

Hi, I came here today because I felt I needed someone to talk to about how I'm feeling. I think it's unfair to dump these problems on my ex, and it's starting to annoy him, as he is distancing himself from me now. What happened was, he was my first e... View more

Hi, I came here today because I felt I needed someone to talk to about how I'm feeling. I think it's unfair to dump these problems on my ex, and it's starting to annoy him, as he is distancing himself from me now. What happened was, he was my first everything, and long story short, he broke up with me because I would never give him enough space. He loved me more than I liked him, and he asked for breaks sometimes. I don't think I realised at the time the importance of breaks. In my mind it was me+him=happy, and I would always end the breaks early. It hurts a lot, thinking about how he promised one day to 'never take a break again'. Just for my sake, not his. He broke up with me because he just needed the space. He told me on our last day together, that he was so sorry, and loved me, and didn't want me to cry. It hurts a lot thinking he tried to save me from the pain on our last day. I only realised, and he only communicated properly to me, after the breakup, that he actually did need the breaks, and he was stressed out about always being with me, even though he told me he really enjoyed being with me. I can't believe that my selfishness led the first boy who ever truly loved me, to break up with me, and he says he'll never take me back again, and that he is alright now, but is sick of it and doesn't want it anymore. It hurts so much, because I know I didn't fix some problems we had with each other until too late. The last day we had, I did fix an issue he had with me, but he said it was too late by then. I can't deal with the crushing guilt, and the crushing nostalgia. Thinking about things we did, and the things he selflessly bought me, just makes me feel awful. He never pressured me to do anything bad sexually, and I am so happy we felt loved doing that, even though we had issues concerning me to do with that. I'm just in a mess right now, and wake up crying, and really can't see the future. I do have a good life apart from this issue. I feel like I was two people during the relationship. I had to hide it from my parents, and I think this led to a splitting of my personality somehow. The side which was, 'his', and the side I showed to my parents. I know that the relationship wasn't heaven every stage of the way, but the nostalgia is driving me to think that it was. I feel the side that was 'his' has taken over now somehow when before, I would feel the side that didn't think of him often, a lot of the time. Thanks for any reply, I feel absolutely awful.

Alien_Slime My struggle with depression
  • replies: 2

Many people think that depression is a sad girl, crying in her room because her boyfriend dumped her. To me, depression is hospital stays, isolation periods, not leaving your room, constant darkness pulling you under even when you're just about to br... View more

Many people think that depression is a sad girl, crying in her room because her boyfriend dumped her. To me, depression is hospital stays, isolation periods, not leaving your room, constant darkness pulling you under even when you're just about to break free of it's evil grips. Depression has screwed me up since I was 13. I am now 19. Accompanying my depression is anxiety. Both at the same time is truly the worst feeling in the world, no one can understand unless they have experienced it. Anyway, I was on a happy streak for about 5 months. Then all of a sudden I'm depressed again. I hate waking up of a morning, everything feels dull but I have to pretend that everything is fine. My partner is studying at university and we barely have time for each other. It bothers me, and certainly doesn't help during my dark periods. Not saying we have a dependent relationship, but I like to be cuddled and told it's going to be okay. And I don't have that, and his commitment to university makes the relationship hard. My Dad is abusive and my Mother suffers with mental illness herself, so it makes it hard for me to have anyone to talk to. Tomorrow I am going to see a doctor to discuss these feelings and I'm scared. I have tried medication and therapy many times. medication just makes me sick and therapy can only help for a limited time. I am really struggling right now and need some guidance. I don't want to be stuck on my bedroom floor listening to Pink Floyd's "The Wall" on repeat for the rest of my life (even though it's a brilliant album) I want someone to talk to and empathize with these feelings. I thought an online forum may help. I'd like to hear about your experiences with depression/ anxiety. I would like to know that I am not alone, and that my feelings are valid. A lot of people say it's selfish of me to be upset over my boyfriend being at uni almost always. Or that it's silly of me to feel this way period. Is it?

tazza how do i help a loved one with depression
  • replies: 2

Hi, my sister is 14 years old and she has depression, she is becoming distant from the family and including myself like we used to be really close when we were younger and now she has become so distant from me, what do i do ? Also, when ever i try to... View more

Hi, my sister is 14 years old and she has depression, she is becoming distant from the family and including myself like we used to be really close when we were younger and now she has become so distant from me, what do i do ? Also, when ever i try to help her with something like i'll ask her if she needs help with her homework and she'll yell at me saying that she doesn't need my help and it makes me upset because i just want to be there for her. And she hates if i post a photo of us together on social media and she got so angry at me the other day and it was crazy how mad and upset she was, how do i fix this?? why does she get so mad, like she has rages where she just takes her anger out on someone even if they didn't do anything wrong?? I have talked to my parents about this and they talked to her and we took her to a session to beyond blue and then we haven't been back because my parents get so busy with work that sometimes they forget. Can you help me out please

Harley1 Am I depressed or do I have a personality disorder?
  • replies: 3

For quite some time now I have been feeling sad and I tend to cry a lot and I don't really sleep that much. I also get angry and annoyed completely randomly like someone will ask me a question and I will get so annoyed and angry or just the way someo... View more

For quite some time now I have been feeling sad and I tend to cry a lot and I don't really sleep that much. I also get angry and annoyed completely randomly like someone will ask me a question and I will get so annoyed and angry or just the way someone speaks and the way they act and move bothers me so much that it completely ruins my mood. I am a very hateful person, I am sad to admit this but I am. I'm constantly saying "I hate this I hate that". Recently, my parents were talking about how I'm not good at school and were saying how I need to decide what I want to do with my life and I honestly don't know what I want to do, I want to become a journalist one minute then an astrobiologist the next. I also feel like I'm constantly changing and can't decide who I am. It's very difficult to try and explain it but I honestly don't know who I am, I don't know and that worries me so much it makes me so worried. I don't know what I want to do, who I am and I get upset and angry at the most random things that most people wouldn't find annoying. I'm lazy too, I don't want to do anything. I had been dancing since I was 4 years old so around 12 years and I quit this year. I don't want to do anything. I'm self conscious with my body and my face and it makes me cry sometimes, but then next minute I'm happy with myself. I don't really have a good relationship with my dad and I sorta try to make it work but I get so upset about it. My mum works night and day shift just to pay for my school and I feel so guilty about it and I feel so upset about. I have had thought about suicide before but not frequently. I also think about life and how insignificant I am and if the world blew up tomorrow nothing matters, we don't matter so why try so hard and bother at all? But I'm also so afraid of death and I usually have images in my head of my loved ones dying and become depressed because of it and how hopeless Id be without them and I cry so hard, but then I want to be left alone a lot of the time and I find it a burden to hang out with friends most of the time but then I want to go out and have fun. I don't understand what's going on and I'm so upset about it.

julz2016 i need support
  • replies: 3

I just wondering if people could help me to find support as my local headspace has rejected me and I really need help for Depression, I don't know what to do anymore I feel I am left alone and really weak and I feel I have no one to turn to when I re... View more

I just wondering if people could help me to find support as my local headspace has rejected me and I really need help for Depression, I don't know what to do anymore I feel I am left alone and really weak and I feel I have no one to turn to when I really need it. I feel no one cares about me and I feel so so helpless and useless.

BlueGuitar So alone, Silent tear
  • replies: 3

I now only feel normal when I'm alone in my room, I've isolated myself to the point where I feel nervous all the time around every single person, it's crazy, the heavy feeling of dread, dullness, confusion and hopelessness , I've almost literally bee... View more

I now only feel normal when I'm alone in my room, I've isolated myself to the point where I feel nervous all the time around every single person, it's crazy, the heavy feeling of dread, dullness, confusion and hopelessness , I've almost literally been doing nothing at all except staying home for the past 6 months,having really nothing much to say is the sad thing due to the fact I've been doing nothing, I feel so empty and clueless I can't even fake a smile anymore , after experiencing a manic episode for the third time I can't see myself coming back from it, the embarrassment, the stigma, not wanting to be alone but not wanting to be around people. The reality of it all feels like a nightmare, feels like I don't know who I am, it's so hard to except, i feel so alone in my own thoughts. I'm constantly full of anxiety Ive never felt anxiety this bad before, I always feel spaced out and full of dread, in a miserable feeling all the time, the saddest part is the guilt I feel towards my family especially my mum when we talk I'm always so abrupt I hate the way I am,

skw I need advice!!!
  • replies: 4

I'm currently am in year 11 and find that I am struggling.I seem to not like all my subjects and even though I understand what is going on, I can't seem to demonstrate that in a test and I find it very hard to concentrate in class as I am always anxi... View more

I'm currently am in year 11 and find that I am struggling.I seem to not like all my subjects and even though I understand what is going on, I can't seem to demonstrate that in a test and I find it very hard to concentrate in class as I am always anxious. I really want to go to uni and I am currently doing 3 level 3 subjects and 1 level two subject but I am struggling and feel as though I am going to fail all my classes. I have already failed my maths test and finding I'm not performing as well compared to my previous schooling years even though I study really hard. I have emailed my teacher about changing subjects and I am going to talk to her about it. But I am just really unhappy and hate the whole experience of year 11. I have never been so anxious to go to school in my life and I don't know why I am getting so worked up about things, as other people seem to be coping reasonably well. My mum tells me that I put too much pressure on myself and should focus on getting my year 11 and 12 certificate rather than getting into uni, as I can go to uni at anytime. I would really appreciate it if people could comment about there experience or if they have any advice because I feel lost and feel like I want to quit year 11 all together as I can't seem to cope with anything, I just seem so distracted and not myself. I want to do so many things like exercise and other hobbies but I never seem to have time. Anyway thanks for reading and looking forward to any suggestions or advice people may have (:

JWolf17 Anxiety and depression affecting all aspects of my life
  • replies: 3

Hey everyone. I'm 18, male, and in my first year of university. I've recently been dealing with levels of anxiety and depression that I've never dealt with before. I've always tended to have good days and bad days, and I've never felt as though I've ... View more

Hey everyone. I'm 18, male, and in my first year of university. I've recently been dealing with levels of anxiety and depression that I've never dealt with before. I've always tended to have good days and bad days, and I've never felt as though I've been completely stable emotionally, but now the bad days are turning into bad weeks and my moods and anxious feelings are getting worse than ever before. At my worst, I've considered self-harm, but I haven't gone through with it yet. I only have a couple of friends that I feel comfortable talking to about this, and even with them I'm beginning to feel like I'm becoming an annoyance. I feel like I treat them more like therapists than friends, and that's not how I want things to be. I haven't said anything to any of my family members. I don't feel comfortable talking to them about this. They're a great family (I live at home with my 2 parents and 3 of my brothers. 2 of my brothers have moved out), but mental issues have never been brought up by anyone. The idea of my family finding out scares me, so I hide it from them as much as I can. I recently had my first ever counselling session with the counsellor at uni, but it didn't really help. I ended up feeling uncomfortable, so I didn't really tell him the full extent of the issues I've been having. The adjustment to uni has been difficult. I don't have many friends, and the friends I do have seem to be becoming more distant. I want to make new friends, whilst keeping my old friends close, but I have never been good at socialising and I have no idea how to talk to people I don't know. I've never had a girlfriend either, and I can't help but feel completely unattractive. My self-esteem is at an all time low. If I can't like myself, then what reason does anyone else have to like me? Along with that, I've been falling behind with assignments because I can't motivate myself. I've also experienced heavy anxiety during lectures, at some stages finding it hard to breathe properly, feeling really uncomfortable and just wanting to leave as soon as possible. I'm wondering whether my anxiety and depression are on a clinical level. I'm feeling hesitant to get help. What should I do?

_eeeemilia My anxiety is stopping me from completing my university assignments.
  • replies: 2

I've struggled with anxiety and depression from about the time I was 16. I'm now almost 22. It started as a result of friendship issues at school, including bullying. As a result of this, I began to associate my school work with these bad feelings, a... View more

I've struggled with anxiety and depression from about the time I was 16. I'm now almost 22. It started as a result of friendship issues at school, including bullying. As a result of this, I began to associate my school work with these bad feelings, and I became more and more anxious with every assignment and piece of homework I had to complete. I saw several psychologists and a psychiatrist, and I've been on medication for almost 6 years, although my dose has gradually reduced from 2 tablets a day to only half a tablet. This is a significant improvement for me, but I still get that anxiety when it comes to completing assignments for my university degree. I've found myself avoiding doing the work and then avoiding my tutors in order to avoid getting 'in trouble'. Part of my issue is that I also have mild OCD and perfectionist tendencies. This perfectionism combined with my anxiety makes me feel like I would rather not submit anything at all than submit poor or sub-standard work. This stems from having been a high achiever throughout my schooling, until about the time when my depression and anxiety developed and appeared. I think I was always anxious, but it was when the depression showed itself that the anxiety stopped me from being productive and ended up hindering my schooling. I've also found that the anxiety continues into my relationship. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years, but I still get anxious and jealous when he has extended contact with other females, even though I know there's nothing going on. I trust him, but I also don't at the same time and this worries me. I do get social anxiety and I have trouble making new friends. In fact I don't really have any close friends apart from my boyfriend. I think this is also what makes me feel jealous and anxious about his relationships, because I'm jealous of the fact that he can make friends so easily and I can't. I don't know how to do it, I feel like I don't open up enough or I say something too open too early on. I'm always afraid that people will think I'm weird and dislike me. I've been able to manage my depression to a degree, particularly in the last 6 months as I've started doing aerial arts as a hobby and form of exercise, and I think that finding a form of exercise that I enjoy and doesn't feel like exercise really helps. I really need some advice to control my anxiety, I don't want it to affect my life more than it already has.

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