I'm ok/im not ok

[Becka1]

Hi there BB Friends,

Last couple of days I'v just been feeling lonely, feels like my mind and everything at the moment is cloudy amd back in the position where I'm finding it hard to find a path way to start. Mentally I feel trapped and stuck as I'm not sure what to do or where to go and it's hard to take the steps I need to help me as when I'm low and in this state it's hard to get up again and seems like an effort. I'm scared to be on own for a certain amount of time but I am trying to look for some sort of company bit is hard when at times like this I feel that there isn't that many people who will really understand the emotions I'm going through so I'm feeling a bit lost and lonely. At the moment I'm trying to take baby steps and hopefully oneday I'll have a clear mind of life and where to head but atm I feel stuck. I'm hoping to also meet new ppl and make new friends that can help me and can share experiences and support as I'm hoping to give the same. What I hate at the moment is when I wake up of a morning when I can sort of eventually get to sleep is waking up with that hit in the face after a sec that I'v woken up and feelings/emotions and mental state as what I did when I went to bed, that's what I hate waking up to as when I'm asleep I feel bit better as it gives me a brake in dealing with whaty emotions are everyday...

[white knight]

Hi Becka, welcome

The very best thing I can advise you with is to get to know your illness. Before you can do that you need to get a proper diagnosis from your GP- absolutely essential.

In the meantime read, read, read. The more you know the better you can approach your symptoms and tackle it.

This forum is filled with information.

Tony WK

[Becka1]

Thanks Tony WK for the advice.

I have a specialist app med review next week I do suffer from depression, anxiety and PTSD. Iv been having mild ups and downs but I'v hit a depression wall in a mental way of just being so mentally drained with everything that has been happening. It's just the feelings and emotions that I hate that get to me some times as it get over whealming some times and I some times subconsciously shut off if things get too much. At the moment I feel as tho I want to be alone but I want to be sorrounded with company at the same time as if I'm on my own for too long when I feel down it doesn't help my thinking as it is. Iv been doing some things like little things such as trying to get out and not be home for too long. But there's still a bit that I need to work on in trying to get back up to back where I was before 🙂

[Lazykh]

Hi Becka!

I'm new here to online forums and this is my first reply, nice to meet you. But I'm not new to the sort of feelings you're talking about. So I don't know if you'll find this helpful, let me know as I'd love the feedback either way, but this is the sort of thing I go through either with myself or others...

It can seem really hard to get motivated to go and do something when you feel really down. But, do you like staying home and feeling like you do? Or do you want to try to kick feeling bad? Is it possible that you might actually enjoy another activity? What sort of things do you usually like doing? Is anything stopping you from doing them now?

Re the PTSD, PTSD isn't much fun. I know because I have it too. Unfortunately the more you suppress (try to shut off) the more you'll get accosted by your subconscious reminding you of it (Like the brain animations on BeyondBlue). It really sucks cause you just don't want to address it yet, you might be still recovering from the initial shock. You may not be ready to deal with those issues yet, but here's what you can do: you can start be acknowledging that those feelings are there and realising that they impact on your overall psychological wellbeing. See if you can come up with 20 different emotions that you are feeling. Then, having 'watched the thought', you can let it go for now. Eventually you will be ready to deal with the heavy issues but until then it's just a matter of putting one foot in front of the other. Look at things, explore them, see if you can find unexpected characteristics that you wouldn't normally think about (eg, I once realised on a windy day that the wind could be soothing because of its constancy and predictability which helped me because my PTSD was cumulative stress from living in an unstable and unpredictable relationship)

You sound like you want to stop feeling the way you do, and that's great. If you want to you will succeed. Hope that might help, I like helping people 🙂

Lazykh

[romantic_thi3f]

Hey Becka,

So glad that you're working with your specialist on what's going on for you. I know it
can be really hard but it looks as though you are doing all the right things!
Are you seeing a counsellor or psychologist at the moment? Sometimes it
can be really helpful to get some techniques in figuring out what can help you
when you're feeling less-motivated or lonely.

One of the things that helps me is using art to help me feel
less overwhelmed; I'm not very good at it (hehe), but it's only for me so it
doesn't matter - sometimes I journal everything that's in my head, or I draw,
colour-in or just listen to music. This might appeal to you or it might
not, but finding lots of little techniques can help on the days where it gets
too much.

Another thing that might help is goal setting. Especially
when everything seems like an effort. Baby steps is definately the way to
go.

Hope your specialist appointment goes well!

[Becka1]

Hey romantic_thi3fs and lazykh.

Thanks guys for posting. So sorry that its taken me awhile to respond as iv been a bit up and down latley and just feeling a little low. But im not too bad now ov gotten new meds so hopfully they can help in someway. How have you both been? I hope you are both enjoying your weekend? Its been pretty busy for me and the weather has been crazy lately. Anyways hope all is well guys, enjoy your night 🙂

[Lazykh]

Hi Becka!

It's great to hear from you and I hope you're feeling a bit better. Medication can *really* help in conjunction with good advice. I speak from experience. My anxiety was so bad that I couldn't overcome it without medication, in fact I didn't even know how bad it was. However, the med I've got has an almost instant anti-anxiolytic effect (the antidepressant still takes 3 weeks to kick in though) and I took my first one and about 45 minutes later I felt like a totally different person... one I hadn't known for a VERY long time. So medication helped change my life from someone who needed to ring BeyondBlue and vent to someone who wanted to help other people get their emotions under control instead of their emotions controlling them... Sometimes it can take a lot of tries to get the right medication, but perseverance is the key because when you do get the right one you won't know yourself either, and I mean that in a GOOD way.

I'm coping pretty well these days. It's not like everything is just peachy, but I manage all the bull**** a lot better now without substance use or anger. I'm having a pretty good weekend, just chilling out and reading. Please do keep in touch and let us know how you go, you're my first person I've tried to help here so I'd love to keep in touch, and I'm really happy you're doing a bit better.

Lazykh