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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
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Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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indiaink Debilitating intrusive thoughts about relationship, rOCD?
  • replies: 2

Heyo, I'm a newbie and it's my first post. I've been in a relationship (LDR) with probably the most amazing guy imaginable for over a year and a half now, he's kind, loving, caring and so understanding. I think he looks quite great as well, and he's ... View more

Heyo, I'm a newbie and it's my first post. I've been in a relationship (LDR) with probably the most amazing guy imaginable for over a year and a half now, he's kind, loving, caring and so understanding. I think he looks quite great as well, and he's smart and funny. However, over the past month or so I have been having possibly the worst imaginable thoughts about leaving him, whether I truly love him, whether he is the one ect. He is my first serious relationship as well, and we plan on meeting in mid 2017. I've been seeing a counsellor at school (I'm in year 12) for about a year now due to suspected anxiety and depression, however I've been unable to receive diagnosis and treatment from a mental health practitioner due to me being uncomfortable talking about it with my parents. (I told my mum emotionally yesterday, and I'm probably going to see a psychologist after exams). The first time I can recall this happening would be during the holidays before my final term at school. So late September/ early October. I can't say there has been an extreme disagreement or argument that may have caused me to think this way. The thoughts are so painful, they make me doubt everything I have ever felt about him, and I feel like so guilty for doubting what we have. I absolutely love this guy and thinking about these horrid things is pushing me over the edge. I try rationalise my thoughts, but I usually meet a dead end, and they are corroding my happiness with him. Constantly picking at my head, making me question every single thing I feel when I am with him. If I am happy, I feel as though I am miss leading him, because I know of the havoc that goes on in my mind. I just want them to stop. They make me question whether I want to meet him, and if i might end up leaving him after we meet. I spoke to him about it, and he remained strong, but I know it hurts him to see me in such pain almost every day. Every waking second I can do nothing but think of 'what if I leave' or 'maybe I should end it' I love him dearly, and I want to stay with him forever. I tear up every time I think about the thoughts. Constantly making me question everything that was concrete in our relationship. Heck, it was the only thing I didn't worry about, and now my cruel mind cannot even give me the luxury of that. There are some moments of calm, moments where I can laugh with him, and see that it is going to be okay. But when the thoughts take over, it's like there is no end. Please help.

LilJ I'm so tired of this
  • replies: 2

I've only been struggling with depression for a couple of years but I really hit rock bottom at the start of this year. Had a couple of hospital visits and got myself some real help. Things were going better and I felt like I could breathe again. Now... View more

I've only been struggling with depression for a couple of years but I really hit rock bottom at the start of this year. Had a couple of hospital visits and got myself some real help. Things were going better and I felt like I could breathe again. Now I feel myself slipping back down. I always knew it wasn't going to all be uphill but I hate falling again. I'm stuck in dead end job after dead end job because I don't know where I want to be I've tried careers councilling, I've tried just giving things a go. I feel stuck. I feel incapable. I feel stupid. I want to make people happy in any way that I can. All that I have done this year is put a strain on everybody I love. I miss my family and I miss the way things used to be. Today I could hardly move because I was so exhausted. It was my first day off in a while and I should of used it constructively but instead I sat and stared at a wall. I'm frustrated with myself and yet I can't seem to force myself to do anything. I don't know what to do

Leoj I just don't know anymore.
  • replies: 2

I don't know where to begin. For the last year or so I feel as though I have been a lot sadder. It all started with the loss of some of my friends from school and although I made new ones I don't feel like there always there for me, and I just hate m... View more

I don't know where to begin. For the last year or so I feel as though I have been a lot sadder. It all started with the loss of some of my friends from school and although I made new ones I don't feel like there always there for me, and I just hate my school in general. Not only this but I'm the type of person who I guess you can say is sensitive, every time someone talks crap about me or makes fun of me I just soak it up and it really hurts me, to the extent where it will be on my mind for the rest of the night. i don't often tell people this however as it would just make me appear as though I am a weak male, even though I know I am. Recently my whole attitude has changed towards my family I sometimes feel as though I'm hated. I'm always getting yelled at and screamed at and lately I've just been snapping back cause I just don't know what to do anymore. This can result in me being hit sometimes or even just more abusive comments. I work 6 days a week just to escape all of this even though I'm trying to balance it with school. At work I feel a little better as it's just an escape from everything, but all the comments made towards me there also get to me. It's just gotten to the stage where I don't know, I feel like my life is just a constant repeat of work, school, homework and sadness. I think I may be depressed however I don't know as there are people who I know are going through much worse. Ita gotten to the stage where I feel like I need to do drugs or something to feel happy. Only the other day I went to a party and however usually I wouldn't I just started drinking a whole lot of alcoholic beverages in hope I'd feel better. However even then ironically I felt no change of anything it made me feel worse. I do have suicidal thoughts however I'm too much of a coward to do anythjng. I just dont know anymore. I just feel so alone, I want to runaway. Sorry for the essay.

BakingBabushka I don't know where to go from here.
  • replies: 3

Hi all, I'm in a bit of a tough spot at the moment. I've been chronically ill for about 2.5 years, most of it I have been bed or chair ridden not being able to travel anywhere due to what it does to me. I didn't initially tell my friends or family mu... View more

Hi all, I'm in a bit of a tough spot at the moment. I've been chronically ill for about 2.5 years, most of it I have been bed or chair ridden not being able to travel anywhere due to what it does to me. I didn't initially tell my friends or family much because I just assumed I was going to die and didn't want to get close to anyone, plus I also couldn't talk because it made me sick. I didn't have a lot of choice and they were supportive from a far. None of them ever visited me for my 6 month hospital stint and they don't reach out to me personally. Lately I've become more mentally alert and able to start doing a little more so I'm noticing more around me. I've been getting really upset and get in spots where I can't make myself happy or just want to crawl up in a ball and cry for days. I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and I've tried talking to them about it but they're all so busy with their own lives I don't get the chance. I don't really know what to do anymore, besides my immediate family I don't have anybody checking on me or visiting me. I'm scared one day I'm going to get into one of my bad places and never come out of it because I feel completely alone and sometimes wonder if they would actually notice if I checked out for a few days. I don't like asking for help and talking about my personal life but I can't keep watching them all be best friends and I'm at home crying myself through another week alone. Does anyone have any advice as to how I can get my friends to help me or actually care?

Alec What is wrong with me? / Vent
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, I have always been self critical and have struggled with low self esteem all my life, it got a bit better when i went to high school but in the last year or two it has gotten worse, i have been diagnosed with depression but I dont feel d... View more

Hi everyone, I have always been self critical and have struggled with low self esteem all my life, it got a bit better when i went to high school but in the last year or two it has gotten worse, i have been diagnosed with depression but I dont feel depressed i go through months of being fine and them boom im depressed for a few hours to a few days i wouldnt say im happy the rest of the time im just meh I get angry very easily and i take it out on others and project my feelings and thoughts onto them and i hate myself for it but at the same time i feel better after. I had a few months where it was bad and i felt numb and flat and lacking purpose thats when i got the diagnosis but it went away and went back to normal but every now and then i get depressed again and i dont know why. I dont feel like i have depression because im not sad. Im just not sure why i feel like this. It might be to do with realising that i might be transgender but i was like this before i realised or had dysphoria. sometimes i feel like whats the point in anything and that people would be better of without me, that im stupid a lot of other negative thoughts but its not constant it fluctuates. I just dont know what is wrong?and ironically enough I want to work in the mental health field and help people at there worst so after a sucicde attempt, abuse victims and people who hate themselves but i cant do that if im not emotionally stable and since i dont know why i get depressed I cant really treat it and i really dont want to take meds.

Adam177 Girlfriend with anxiety wont drive me anywhere
  • replies: 4

Okay, so after more than a year I've been with her and she has really bad anxiety. She never drives me anywhere becuase apparently i will judge her. It is really starting to annoy me to say the least. But the thing is, she can drop my good friend hom... View more

Okay, so after more than a year I've been with her and she has really bad anxiety. She never drives me anywhere becuase apparently i will judge her. It is really starting to annoy me to say the least. But the thing is, she can drop my good friend home after school with no troubles. How do I fix this? Please help

Klojo99 Anxiety is destroying my life
  • replies: 3

Hey, i have really serve anxiety and it is literally taking over my life I can't work or be away from home it's stupid, I honestly don't feel as though I can live like this anymore , I want to go and study next year but so anxious about what will hap... View more

Hey, i have really serve anxiety and it is literally taking over my life I can't work or be away from home it's stupid, I honestly don't feel as though I can live like this anymore , I want to go and study next year but so anxious about what will happen and stuff need someone to talk to,

KB12 New here and recently seeked help for my depression
  • replies: 3

Hey, im 20yrs old new here dont know how to start or anything just seeking help in how to cope. So i have suspected i have had depression about 6 months ago but didnt act on it, only really told my girlfriend of 6 years since i was 14 i was but didnt... View more

Hey, im 20yrs old new here dont know how to start or anything just seeking help in how to cope. So i have suspected i have had depression about 6 months ago but didnt act on it, only really told my girlfriend of 6 years since i was 14 i was but didnt really go further than that. I took a really bad path about 2 years ago leading into drugs 'not massively but was a big part of my life i dont believe im an addict but wanted to do it alot' and i dragged my girlfriend down with me, she was the adventurous and mature type and i brought the worst out in here. We where a really really great couple and found true love 'sounds corny but it was true i could spend my life with her'. I didnt know what i was turning into or not like i cared and pushed everything away including family and really good old mates. I lost everything through that path like my lisence for almost 3 years, close mates and my partner. she finally snap it and left me only 3 weeks ago and told me to cut all contact with her and doing so decided to get back at me by adding guys on social media and liking everything 'what absolutely tore me apart'. Her doing that made me realise what i turned into and i wasnt myself realising that the depression i suspected was from that life and not wanting what i truly wanted out of my life, i wanted the life with her. That then made me contact her trying to fight for her and she just pushed me away blocking me off everything what drove me into the ground. I found reality with what i was doing then having no chance with the person i truly wanted really broke me. I then got really really bad into pot i know its only pot but i was really really abusing it in a bad mind set, that brought on the self-halm thought what one night almost acted on it well i did but couldnt go through with it. I contacted my mother what she then made me get help what i really need. Im now diagnosed with depression and really not coping with it, i just wish i realised what i was doing earlier when i didnt loose my partner. I dont really know what im asking just really need help on how to cope with all this, hoping someone has been through the same what can give me some help. Thanks

Dean96 Not to sure?
  • replies: 2

This is the first time i have ever tried something like this so here goes... In the past month i became unemployed due to my work closing down. Myself and my partner of 20 months moved from my home town to start a fresh life. My partner has found wor... View more

This is the first time i have ever tried something like this so here goes... In the past month i became unemployed due to my work closing down. Myself and my partner of 20 months moved from my home town to start a fresh life. My partner has found work but i have so far struggled to do the same. I spend my days sitting at home often just on the couch watching tele or cleaning or laying in bed. I dont real feel anything emotionally and thats what kinda worries me. I feel that it may have nothing to do with me being without a job but it could do. I was raised by my grandmother and didnt really have my parents in my life till i was about 7-8 years old and i worry this might have effected me but im not to sure, i kinda just feel empty. I Love my partner very much but sometimes i don't even have the feelings to love him enough, its like i don't have feelings at all. I get very emotional over the smallest of things and often just burst into tears. Does anyone else have any thoughts on whats happening to me. Could it just be the latter stages of puberty, i am 19 nearly 20 years old.

immapsych_student Need some advice :(
  • replies: 5

Hi, I'm an (international) undergrad psych student. In uni, everyone calls me a bright spark, an active volunteer, an outgoing future leader but deep down I feel worthless at home. Don't get me wrong though, my parents and grandparents love me to bit... View more

Hi, I'm an (international) undergrad psych student. In uni, everyone calls me a bright spark, an active volunteer, an outgoing future leader but deep down I feel worthless at home. Don't get me wrong though, my parents and grandparents love me to bits but since I moved to Aus, I'm staying with my uncle (my mum's bro) and my aunt. Apparently, my uncle told me to stay without having to pay for anything including rental and it got my 'aunt' furious about it. The problem here is that she treated me nicely when people are around but she started to call me names when it's only us at home. Few months back, she told me to look for a room on campus. Without hesitation, I agreed but still, I had to tell my parents about it. Basically my family back in my country was rather dissapointed so they called to ask her about it. However, she backstabbed me instead and accused me of being a liar and said that it was me who insisted on moving our with my friends. I have to be honest here, I've never got that sort of thoughts before as education is my top priority. I told my uncle the truth (i.e. the things she said to me when my uncle wasn't around). She started to call me rude, liar, etc. And yes, I lost my uncle's trust as well. Since then, she never talked to me and when she sees me coming back from uni, she will bang the doors and everything (only when my uncle is not at home though). I am very, very upset for being accused and mistreated like this especially when I actually respected them all these while. I grew up with strict parents and there is no way they will teach me to mistreat others. I tried to engage with more people in uni, get involved in more on/off campus activities and more. Yes, I acheived what I wanted as a student and a future clinician but sometimes, she just gets over my nerves. I tried to understand everything from the psych perspective but still, I need more people to hear my voice so I feel better. I still have 2 1/2 more years of education journey to go. If you're reading this, pls advice me on how to stay happy in and out and how should I deal with her? Thanks and regards, immapsych_student

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