Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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My anxiety and panic attacks have made me so lonely

replies: 4

( just a heads up, i'm not great with grammer ) Hi beautiful people, I am not sure if i am posting this in the correct section or not. I'm 27 and have two young children, around three years ago i started to have panic attacks and anxiety. I have pretty much no friends anymore. Being in a small town its kinda hard also. Because of my issues i had become distant to my partner, who is great on just about all levels , minus the affection. I went for two months with no panic attacks and then they decided to come back, got pretty bad and as of three days ago i am taking meds for it, i wish that they would work NOW. I had a bad attack today. I feel as tho i need to escape when i get them and that i can't breathe and like my body is going nuts. I guess i come to this site to see if anyone can relate or make a friend even XOX

Sex and boys

replies: 17

Hi I'm Shay 13 year old female So listen I am depressed, suicidal and self harm. I really like this boy in my class right and he is always flirting with me. He asked me to give him oral sex and I said that I would but now he wants to know if he can have sex with me, I am a virgin and I guess I want to but I have a few problems. he is always feeling me up when he gets the chance and talks dirty to me. here is a list of problems and please don't judge me: *I am scared it will hurt *I don't shave or wax (down there) -embarrassing *cringe*- and i don't know if he will mind *How do I get condoms? *Where and when can I do it so my parents wont find out? *will it make me more depressed? *what if he can't fit in me Please if you could give an answer to all these it would b very helpful

Hit rock bottom. First time talking, please help!

replies: 2

Hi this is my first time doing this so im a bit nervous. Here is a bit about me! I am 19 year old female and have been suffering from depression for around 5 years. It has damaged many of my relationships in the past and the ones who have stuck around are getting sick of my ****. This is the main reason I'm doing this, I don't want to lose the ones who mean the most to me i need somewhere to vent and get some help. I have very low self esteem which i think is a result of been bullied in primary school, i moved schools it even got so bad. It was mainly due to my looks, i wore glasses and was overweight so i got teased for it. I felt very alone and confused why no one liked me all because of the way i looked. I never felt accepted So i went in to high school thinking i was ugly and disgusting. Throughout high school things seemed to get better i lost my glasses and some weight and people seemed to like me better i made some friends. This still wasn't good enough i needed everyone to like me. I then thought that the only way anyone would like me was if i was pretty, skinny and cool. I then thought that if i was all these things i would be truly happy. it put this huge pressure on myself to be perfect, i tried absolutely everything to fit this image and am still struggling to do so today. I have these massive expectations on myself and whenever i fail i punish myself. I beat myself up so much in my head, i genuinely hate everything about myself at times. I then turn to food for comfort, which makes me put on weight and then makes me more self conscious and depressed. I then manage to pull myself together for a short time lose the weight which makes me feel more confident but then i realise im still not happy. No matter how much weight i lose or new clothes and makeup i wear I'm still unhappy and it gets me so down. Its a vicious cycle I have had one boyfriend in my life and he broke my heart. He was my first love so i guess it was a given. He broke up with me out of the blue due to not having feelings for me anymore but i took it really badly. I blamed it on myself for not being good enough. Im am well over him know but i have never been able to let anyone in as I'm so afraid of rejection and being hurt. I have this huge wall up and find it very hard talking to guys because i don't believe they truly want me. If I'm not good enough for myself how can i be good enough for anyone else. Im a year out of high school and still suffering these problems. Im still so unhappy with the way i look and feel and am really unsure how to fix it. I work very hard on trying to be perfect in every way. It is all i think about How can I make myself more attractive? How can I get this guy to like me? How do I act to make sure no one see's how messed up I am? etc.. This has started to affect relationships with my friends more than it ever has. Im constantly putting myself down and being negative, because thats how i truly feel. They dont understand why i feel so badly about myself because they dont think there is anything wrong with me. I often dont tell people how i truly feel because I'm afraid of upsetting them or being rejected. So i let these emotions build up over time and then attack them over small things. I hate doing this but i just get so caught up in the moment and cant handle my emotions. If i dont attack them I get very upset and have panic attacks and ball my eyes out. I think they are starting to get over my negativity and trying to always make me feel happier. Also my random breakdowns. I feel so alone and cant find anyone who understands. I just want to be happy within myself I need to find a way of making me feel better on the inside not just on the outside. Help me! and please dont judge I dont want to lose my friends

Unsure how to deal with helping a friend.

replies: 1

I need some help when it comes to help a friend through what she is experiencing as of now. Recently, a close friend of mine has started to reveal some of the things that bounce around inside her head, with depression being one of the major aspects. She has talked to me about how she feels when she ends up falling into a particularly depressing mood, how her depression has altered her sleep cycle to the point in which she has trouble telling whether or not the next horrible thing that has happened to her was real or not, she has described waking up from terrifying nightmares that involve severe physical trauma or even death and feeling a sort of 'ghost' pain, pain in areas that were subjected to trauma during the nightmare, and a whole handful of other things that I don't have the space to write about. As someone who's never had to deal with a situation like this before, I often feel as if I'm only making it worse. She claims that she has sought out professional help with these issues before, and that the majority of them were not of much help. Her family doesn't seem to be too supportive of her either, often being very distant and disinterested in what she has to say. I really worry about her, and I feel as if I'm stuck in a 'Damned if you do, damned if you don't' situation. Any advice on what I could do to help, or even just similar experiences you guys may have had. Thanks in advance.

They say it will get better?

replies: 1

Hi, I'm 25 & have been struggling with depression for 10 years! I was sexually abused by my brother as a young child and kept this to myself till I was 16! the aftermath of this has almost been as bad as the abuse, my parents have spilt up and my family All hate each other! I feel like this is all my fault( even though i know its not) i constantly feel like i have spilt the family up even though they all tell me its not my fault and not too worry! How can i not worry when i now dont have a family that supports each other! Sometimes i just wish i could end it because i really cant handle it being rubbed in my face everyday! But i know i cant because my cousin commited sucicide and it was horrible my family was a mess! As much as i want to escape my family & life i still love them and cant bare to put them through it again! My friends tell me it will get better and to just be happy! I have been waiting my whole life to be happy! Will this ever get easier? Brooke

Young, unemployed and feeling useless

replies: 5

First of all I'll give you a brief history... I am a 24 year old female from Brisbane. I have suffered with depression since I was a young teenager. It comes in bouts, and I can have periods of happiness, but it ALWAYS returns. I have been on antidepressants for 7 years. I have been to a psychologist many times before. I have been to university and graduated from a degree in 2011. While I was at uni I had an internship which provided me with income while I studied, and afterward I joined the graduate program with the same employer. However, joining the graduate program meant I had to move to Canberra. I hated Canberra with a passion. I became depressed and lonely, and didn't make any close friends there. I found it hard to get out of bed and spent days at a time not leaving the house. After the graduate program ended, I decided I had to move back to Brisbane to be near my friends and family. I got a job with a small company, but it was a sales role and it caused me great anxiety and made me suicidal. So I quit that job, and now I am unemployed. It's been 3 months since I quit and I've applied for a number of jobs, but have had not so much as a rejection email. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I find my self esteem dropping to a ridiculous level. All the job advertisements say they want someone super amazing with X years experience in that exact industry, and I feel like I can't even apply. Even the simplest jobs want someone bloody fantastic - someone who is passionate and motivated to be in that role... Even if it's a dish pig job or cleaning bloody toilets. I'm getting sick of it, and I'm losing faith about the future. I can't see myself ever owning a house. My parents can't look after me. They have just retired and they don't have lots of money. I hate being a burden on them - I have had to move back home. I feel incredibly guilty about eating their food and living in their home, when I am an adult who should be able to support herself. I want to pay them back when I do eventually find employment again. I am so grateful for their help recently. Anyway, I am just writing this to get my thoughts out. Part of me thinks it will be ok in the end, but the other part thinks this could become a pattern - one of ups and downs and eventual unhappiness.

year 12 stress

replies: 0

Hey guys I wanted to ask someone about my mood swings and how to stop them, but I didn't know where to go so I came here, looking or some help. I've just started year 12 and already I'm stressing out majorly about all the work and pressure. My parents expect me to top every class and it's starting to make me break down and put more pressure on myself, and that pressure and stress has started to make me have horrible mood swings. I've gone from happy to so upset that I'm in tears in a matter of minutes lately and it's causing so many fights with my friends and boyfriend. I need to stop these feelings and these mood swings but I don't know how. Please help or give advice? Ruby

Determination in study considered as 'normal' in society, to me I'm struggling to the core.

replies: 1

Hi everyone, I often have anxiety problems and frequent panic attacks when it comes to pushing myself beyond my limits, and having Asperger's Syndrome (a form of autism) doesn't make things any easier - like stubbornness and the inability to socialize with people, so this is actually quite daunting to express my issues on here. Also to note I never mention my autism to ANYONE, (that includes the university) for fear of being treated as 'different' and that I'm doing everything, even my own appearance, just to be classed as a normal person in society and to actually interact with people. At the moment I'm currently in my third study period in Bachelor of Visual Arts and Visual Culture via Open Universities, 19 years old and in full time study (no work, but relying on Commonwealth support for fees), and already it has significantly impacted negatively both mentally and physically. Since my mother died just recently, last year in February, I am struggling to cope with my 65 year old dad (who ironically, also has Asperger's Syndrome) and often have conflicts and he thinks he knows everything; even though he doesn't know how other people think, so you get it how frustrating it is when it comes to arguments. He always wants be to go for the higher level of education to become a so called "Top Manager in the Arts Department" (for goodness sake I just want to be a Graphic Illustrator, nothing fancy or anything), yet having very limited literacy skills and lack of people's skills makes it very unlikely to reach for a higher career. I keep trying to tell him my career choice and that it's not necessary to take a university course if it just makes me more stress with the simple workload than actually learning anything, and he simply doesn't listen. I've always love doing art and have been doing it for years, yet it looks crap, but being in my university course has made me quite uncertain in getting a career in art as whole. It seems like the more I stay in this course, the more I start hating my art and becoming less passionate about it (yet I keep doing it anyway). As a hobby it's great, but as a job quite unlikely. I don't makes friends, even with other students or other people, because I easily get stressed with them; especially smarter people, which I considered them intimidating. I had other people (normal) telling me the following: - 'shut up and get used to it' - 'you should be more involved with your passion' - 'stop being a attention seeker' - 'if you can't cope with this, there's something wrong with you and you' ll never cope in society' - 'face it, if normal people can do it than you should have no problem doing it' - 'it's so simple, why are you finding it difficult' - 'stop stressing just do it' - and the list goes on.. These quotes I find it hard to register or understand, not that I'm too ignorant to understand, I simply can't grasp the meaning and concept of these responses. I do frequently ask the Student Counselors and my lecturers at the university, they say exactly the same thing. My university course itself I find it hard to understand the basics and I admit my time management is quite poor, but I do my best to be engage with the materials (which that engagement is slowly declining). Half the time I don't understand what my lecturers and other students are saying because of their use of complicated words - I call it "smart people talk" to be simple. Even when I asked them to simplify what they're saying, they think that I'm being ignorant and not understanding the topic - quite insulting really. I know many of you think that as a young adult, I should be able to handle these things by now. To tell you the truth, I don't see myself as a young adult (more of a struggling shy teenager level of intelligence) and plus lack of life experience does add to the lack of my understanding of almost everything in society. I hope you all understand what I'm going through.

Whats really wrong with me?

replies: 5

Okay, I have no idea what I am doing so sorry for any weirdness or confusion.. Alright, so I just looked at this site and I just researched on symptoms which I am experiencing. But I noticed some didn't really extend on things and I have a little bit of different things wrong with me. for 1 I definitely know I have GAD and a type of depression because I self harm, and I do not like life a lot the time. But then again, my emotions change, one moment I feel normal, next I hate the world, I feel depressed and then I feel like a psycho. Like today for example, I was feeling normal in the morning then I suddenly was depressed until about 5pm tonight and now I am psycho, laughing at random things, talking to myself, yelling at objects and people then just apologising then doing it again. My voice sounds different in a weird way and my attitude towards everything is completely different. I always feel like I am being followed or watched, and I don't concentrate on things. I enjoy harming myself, which sounds really messed up and weird but its the reality of my actions. I self-harm myself when I am feeling really upset, but I always do it because I want to and there is an urge to do it. And to be honest, I like the pain it gives me. yeah, I know I'm messed up but I do want to try and stop it. I can't sleep until late, and sometimes I just choose not to go to sleep or I don't want to. Even if sometimes I get a good sleep I wake up knackered and I can barely function throughout school. I'm getting put on sleeping pills today but the messed up thing is the side effects include things I already experience so I am slightly worried about that, but my GP doesn't seem too bothered about it. I understand I may have Bi-polar, but I just want to understand and see if anyone is going through the same thing... I can honestly say, I think I have something underlining mentally wrong with me, I mean come on; I hurt myself on purpose, like earlier this year, I repeatedly punched myself and convinced myself that a guy was after me and attacked me. Now my moods change erratically and I hurt myself! I just want to understand what the heck is wrong with me so I can stop it. Please if anyone has any suggestions, I would appreciate it. I know that maybe this has an easy solution but I want to look at other solutions which don't involve me going to a mental hospital oh and if it doesn't say, I am 15 years old and I'm a female...

I'm worried about my girlfriend

replies: 3

My girlfriend and I are in our early twenties and are 3 months in to studying abroad together for a total of 8 months (we'll be home in February). She suffers from what I am fairly sure is an anxiety disorder according to the research I have done on this site. She over-thinks things, she makes decisions based on what she thinks other people will think of her (often assuming that people think the worst of her), is often worried about one thing or another, and certain worries will trigger other worries in a cycle that is difficult to break once it starts. She often sleeps during the day, and is unable to exercise regularly due to back problems caused by muscle tension (which I suspect is related). She is incredibly hard on herself, and cannot see that in many of the areas where she is concerned that she is lacking (such as interacting with our new housemates), she is actually overcompensating. She saw a counsellor back home who taught her exercises to help with the worrying, but I think that the dramatic change in our living situation (foreign country, language etc) has been tough on her. She doesn't like the labels "anxiety" and "depression" and is worried about people labelling her as crazy. She will often ask me to just tell her that she's fine and normal. I'm the only one she shares her worries with, as she is concerned about other people judging her. I really love her and care about her, and I'm really worried about her. Whenever I tell her that I'm concerned it seems to only add to her own worry. Sometimes I feel responsible, and I often feel that I've made it worse through trying to make it better. I guess I'm asking for advice on what to do. I'm worried about how she's going to take another 6 months of this. It's tough because I feel as though we're so isolated. Does anybody have any experience with finding english-speaking mental health professionals in non-english-speaking countries in Europe? I can do all of the patient, non-judgmental listening in the world, but don't think I'm in any sort of position to actually make things much better. I'd give anything for her to feel better, and to believe in herself the way that I believe in her. Thanks in advance for any help or advice! M

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

My anxiety and panic attacks have made me so lonely replies: 4

Sex and boys replies: 17

Hit rock bottom. First time talking, please help! replies: 2

Unsure how to deal with helping a friend. replies: 1

They say it will get better? replies: 1

Young, unemployed and feeling useless replies: 5

year 12 stress replies: 0

Determination in study considered as 'normal' in society, to me I'm struggling to the core. replies: 1

Whats really wrong with me? replies: 5

I'm worried about my girlfriend replies: 3