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romantic_thi3f Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies
  • replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are i... View more

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

Sophie_M NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first
  • replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindfu... View more

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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the_one_1 I've given up and have no idea how to get back up.
  • replies: 3

I told a girl who is a friend of mine about the girl I like and to find out who she likes. She got back to me today telling me she likes someone else. I'm really upset and was confident that she liked me back (having a gut feeling she likes me). She ... View more

I told a girl who is a friend of mine about the girl I like and to find out who she likes. She got back to me today telling me she likes someone else. I'm really upset and was confident that she liked me back (having a gut feeling she likes me). She has been showing me signs, and even today after her friend told me she liked someone else, I feel like I'm getting signs she likes me back. I had previously asked out a girl who had lied about wanting to go out with me (about 3 months ago), the girl I like found out I had asked out a girl from the news passing around my school, but she doesn't know she lied. Today the girl I like now has been showing me signs of liking me even though I found out from her friend that she likes someone else. The signs are below... She has looked/stared at me a little throughout the day I was talking about a school project she had done and after I said something she laughed and said lol.( I didn't say anything funny) I showed my friend my school photo and he showed it to the girl I like and she said "Awwwwwwww [Nickname her and her friend came up with]. (As she said the nickname, she stretched the length of the name). My friend told the girl I like to take the photo home and put it on her wall. The girl I like replied saying "Its [my name]'s, He should have it" She has given me many other signs previously but these are the signs she has shown today after her friend told me she likes someone else. I'm not sure what to do. Please Help?

Ricebubbles3000 am over it all
  • replies: 1

my whole life I have grown up not knowing my father fighting with my mother almost every day but she was the only one I had at the age of 8 and a half familys SA took me away from my mum and I lived with my grandparents for a bit and then back to my ... View more

my whole life I have grown up not knowing my father fighting with my mother almost every day but she was the only one I had at the age of 8 and a half familys SA took me away from my mum and I lived with my grandparents for a bit and then back to my mums and I was back and forth between my mum and my grandparents till the end of year 8 when I moved in with my mum and her boyfriend about 5 months after my mum ended up in hospital for 3 weeks and I ended up living with one of her friends for about 6 months when she kicked me out I lived with a friend for a month and then moved back in with my mum not coping with the fighting all the time I then ran away and moved in with another family friend. the other family friend had 3 other kids living at home and after about 2 school terms (about 8 months) I couldnt deal with the full house. I then moved into a youth shelter. due to my iceskating I could not make it home before cerfue and got kicked out I spent a month on the street and then moved in with my god parents they said I have to go to school but as I had been to 7 schools before I said I was okay at going to another high school but I am finding it really hard to to make new friends and settle in. I self harm often due to not being able to cope and I often think of ending my life I have no one to talk to most of the time :'( I have not been to the Dr because I am scared of what people will say if I start taking pills or if people find out I am depressed I might get bullied more :'( thanx for reading my story

Bulletin_Board_Archive my life
  • replies: 64

Originally posted by: rebekah on 30 December 2012basally Ive been bullied my whole life my parents complain that im never happy but when ever they speak to me i start crying my mum doesn't understand my life she found out i harm myself and she keeps ... View more

Originally posted by: rebekah on 30 December 2012basally Ive been bullied my whole life my parents complain that im never happy but when ever they speak to me i start crying my mum doesn't understand my life she found out i harm myself and she keeps making stuiped comments like ''you should focus on work in class instead of harming'' or ''you stuiped bitch you think your so cool because you harm'' i can't take school any more i cant that my parents its just to much i just want to barry my self in a hole . even at school i get called emo and attention seekers half the time from a girl who harms her self and she told me she does it for attention so why call me an attention seeker half the time when people yell about my teachers here do go so good after that.

Phillip The Ongoing Battle
  • replies: 4

Hi guys, never done this before, so I thought I'd give it a shot. I all of a sudden remembered hearing about it, hopefully I can find some help!! I'm 19 years old and was diagnosed with anxiety, depression and OCD 2 years ago, however discovering wha... View more

Hi guys, never done this before, so I thought I'd give it a shot. I all of a sudden remembered hearing about it, hopefully I can find some help!! I'm 19 years old and was diagnosed with anxiety, depression and OCD 2 years ago, however discovering what it was made me realise how much longer I've had it for. Everyday I get some effect in one form or another. From something randomly making me feel like I have nothing to look forward to (which is more horrible than first thought), to becoming anxious of things people dont usually get scared of (This is something I would never give to anyone if I could, it is that bad at its extremes). I've been going to a psychologist and psychiatrist for over two years now to mix therapy with anti depressants. While I can say the therapy has helped me in some ways and has made me become a fighter and think rationally, I still experience depression and anxiety more frequently than ever and it gets harder everyday when to starts to become your life. Also I've changed medication three times and increased the dosage many times which has had almost no effect and just makes me feel bad as my parents have to buy it. So although it looks like I'm doing well to everyone else, inside I feel the same pain that I have for years. Everyday something I like doing becomes unfavourable all of a sudden, something that gives me happy feelings disappears, everyday something will stress me out whether It be knowing the tafe teacher is going to crack it at a student, or nothing at all in some cases. My coping mechanisms as well which include music and talking to friends about this stuff has been making less of an effect, like I'm wasting fuel or something like that. Also I hold it in a lot cause my mums got her own problems, and even though she said we can talk whenever, it makes me feel bad. I just want to see if anything else can be done. I dont feel normal, and when I get low like this, it feels like nothing is working. If anybody has anything to say, please your more than welcome to. And I also am up to helping people anytime if I am able to, I dont like seeing people go through this and just live with it.

BrownieTheOne Feeling distant and need to let this out.
  • replies: 2

So I suppose some backstory is needed for this. I'm a male in Uni currently, with a family who I am very close to, and was bullied all through both Primary and High school. The way I ended up dealing with it was self deprecation using the idea that i... View more

So I suppose some backstory is needed for this. I'm a male in Uni currently, with a family who I am very close to, and was bullied all through both Primary and High school. The way I ended up dealing with it was self deprecation using the idea that if I got to myself first, the bullies wouldn't enjoy it enough to continue, and it worked for a time. They stopped calling me names, throwing insults my way but it became more physical bullying over the years. Not violence, but things like petty theft of my belongings.It all started to subside around Year 9, and I thought I was getting control over myself. Begin Year 11. I'd been having migraines for a month that were only diagnosed as headaches until I was brought into the ER by my parents for uncontrollable vomiting and possible hallucinations and the nurses and doctors couldn't wake me up the next day. The actual problem was abscesses and they had to be operated on immediately. It was a potentially life-threatening illness that could have left me with serious brain damage even if I survived, and yet I appear to have pulled through with no long term side-effects. It's left me with a bit more perspective on how fragile life is. Fast forward about 2 more years and I'm dead-set that I'm not going to get into a relationship until I finish my formal education (Year 12/Uni). Like a lot of stories, this one of course contains a girl. Come Year 12, my High School did a "retreat" type activity for students where the year level broke off into groups and then into smaller groups and spent a week at a holiday destination bonding together. This girl and I had been becoming fast friends over the 4 or so months prior to this and we were paired together in both groups. Despite what I was certain of, she just seemed too perfect a woman and so we went out for a time. A year later, a series of events destroys my emotional health and dredges up all the self deprecation I took part in in my youth that ruined my self esteem. What had happened was this; Around December my father was thought to have stomach cancer, and in January he was officially diagnosed as having it at stage 4 (At that point all they try to do is take the pain away until you die), then in February, my (now) ex-girlfriend of 11 months breaks up with me on Valentine's Day because I had been saying things I didn't mean about her family (Though it did sound like I meant them to everyone else at the time) and then not a week later a person who I considered a friend told me that he had invited me to his 18th only because he felt he had to and that he didn't actually want me to come and that nobody liked being around me. After speaking a little with a few people, the conclusion is that I have been a very annoying person to be around. I have a tendency to speak truths that others would rather keep hidden or ignored, and my sarcastic and joking manner of speaking certainly doesn't help. Part of that problem is that that's all I've known. My entire family speaks like that, from my parents to my grandparents to my aunts and uncles. It's just the way my family talks. Over the last 6 Months I've been seeing a Psychologist, as I became suicidal. And while things are beginning to look up (I've begun re-establishing contact with a few people I knew from Year 12, I've been adjusting the way I talk and begun thinking through what I'm about to say before I say it, my father is in remission for his cancer, I've patched up the group of people who I considered friends, though it appears the one who told me no-one likes me is the real problem, and my suicidal impulses have been coming much less frequently and someone who I've only spoken to a couple of times on a closed forum and never actually met bought me a wristband for one of our shared favourite bands that he gave me at a meetup) some recent events have left me feeling lost and with the need to vent somewhere where I might get some feedback. The recent events are such; I began feeling distant one night. Not so much emotionally distant or just distant from people, I began feeling distant from reality as though I'm not all there. It felt like I was watching life through a lens that wasn't my own. In those moments I stopped feeling anything, no sadness, no longing, no despair, no happiness, nothing. And life seemed to be a fragile and ultimately worthless thing. My thoughts were along the lines of "Yes, it's amazing life exists at all, but it serves no purpose. We exist for the sake of existing. And life is a line of sadness punctuated by the occasional happy moment which makes the sadness that much worse." The night after that happened as well, I went to a friend's 19th party. I was aware that my Ex would be there, and she was aware I was invited too. I thought I had worked through my feelings for her enough that I could spend the night enjoying myself and not chase after her. And I was only somewhat right. I was able to keep a hold of myself long enough to spend about 2 hours at the party, didn't seek her out at all, but just said a friendly "Hi" in the same way I said it to everyone else at the party. But I had to cut it short, because I feel like I don't have any closure on what happened and would still like to be able to talk it out with her. But I'm torn as I'm also acutely aware that that's quite unlikely to happen. So with the distant feelings starting to come on, coupled with seeing my Ex again when I wasn't as prepared as I thought I was I'm feeling lost again. Thanks for taking the time to read this if you have. I know I have no way of knowing if you did, but it means a lot to me.

the_one_1 I overheard the girl I like say she has a soft spot for some other guy when she has shown signs of liking me and its made me down. :(
  • replies: 5

The girl I like told her guy friend that she has a soft spot for another guy. Yet she has shown me signs of liking me and it has made me really down and i'm not sure what to do. I was ready to ask her out tomorrow and hearing that has ended it for me... View more

The girl I like told her guy friend that she has a soft spot for another guy. Yet she has shown me signs of liking me and it has made me really down and i'm not sure what to do. I was ready to ask her out tomorrow and hearing that has ended it for me. She has shown signs of interest today of liking me more than friends today but her saying this, i'm not sure anymore. Please help I was waiting with a few guys from my class for other guys and the girl I like suddenly comes in the middle of the guys and looks at me, doesn't really say anything just looks and then tells everyone where the class is and they replied they are in the room. After she went to the classroom. She kept on getting up and changing the heating setting for the heater. She was leaning towards me (I sit behind her) She asked me if I knew what to do for one of the questions we were doing (asked for help. I think she knew what to do though.) while all the guys were hassling her to give answers. She turned her head (like she was looking at her guy friend who is on the same row as me). Instead, I could see her eyes almost/kind of glance at me and she looked back to the front (I caught her). Her friend who sits next to her in class seems to look at me a lot and talks to the girl I like. At recess, I saw the girl I like in her group of friends, looking/staring at me from a distance. Her friend who is in her group and is in another one of my classes was looking at me a little during a lesson. Me and the girl I like are both 18.

Benjamin Help finding the right support
  • replies: 3

Me, I'm 20 years old living at home and studying, have 2 older sisters and a younger brother Sooooooo, my mum used to be an alcoholic, it was probably the worst in grade tweve but its been bad since grade 11 up until last year. Mum was never violent,... View more

Me, I'm 20 years old living at home and studying, have 2 older sisters and a younger brother Sooooooo, my mum used to be an alcoholic, it was probably the worst in grade tweve but its been bad since grade 11 up until last year. Mum was never violent, she was just always drunk, i'd come home from school and without fail she'd be passed out on the couch or have a wine glass in her hand ready to get wasted. I guess she was dealing with her depression after she and dad split. Anyway, my sisters went overseas for a year each whilst I was in grade 12, and that's when it got the worst, maybe they were her support system or something, I don't know, but it got bad. I started to get really angry with her, always angry at her when she was drunk, always fighting and she didn't seem to understand why, mostly because I never brought up the drinking, I didn't really know how to, and when I did, whilst she was drunk, she would say awful things, mostly about dad and it was all I could do not to hit her. Last year I decided to confront her about it, this was two years after high school. I built up the courage over time and I was ready, and then she went to rehab. Needless to say I was happy, but it didnt last long, maybe 2 weeks after coming out before she was passed out on the couch again. So I put it on the back burner and got on with life, but it was still eating at me. She went to Bangladesh to visit my sister in May last year, and I was determined to sit down with her and talk to her about how I felt as soon as she got back. When she did, she was in a really good mood, having traveled and seen my sister and I didn't want to ruin that so I told myself I'd wait two days. Went to work one morning with the clear plan that when I got home we would talk and I'd tell her how angry I'd been and that it had to stop. Half way through the day I get a call from my little brother, telling me that mums had a stroke. It was a massive clot that couldn't be removed, she survived and able to walk again pretty quickly, but she cant feel her left side. She's sort of a shadow of the person she was before, shes lost function of almost the whole right hand side of her brain so her memory is bad, her comprehension is bad, her sense of humor, a lot of things. It's a year on and I'm living with her and my younger brother, acting as carer, she doesn't need much help so its not hard but it can be frustrating. The biggest problem I'm having is I'm still so angry at her, I never got to talk to her about her drinking (which has of course stopped entirely) and not got any closure, and now after the stroke it doesn't seem fair on her for me to bring it up. I'm angry at myself for being angry at her, I feel guilty and sick when I think about it, and its starting to take over my thoughts a lot more. I can't talk to my sisters about it because I feel guilty, and because they never saw the worst of her alcoholism they don't understand. I feel like I'm going to snap sometimes, and I find it hard to be anywhere on my own because I jsut think about it all the time and I just get angrier and angrier. I want to be able to find somewhere where I can talk about this to someone, I don't want to see a doctor, I'd prefer a group or something otherwise I'll just feel more alone. There are carer support groups but I don't want to sit in a room with a bunch of aging people talking about the latest in therapy technology or how to look after my mum, I know that sounds insensitive but It's not what I need, I really just need to vent.

Ruby_ Feeling Lost
  • replies: 4

This is my first time on this, so I don't even really know where to start. I guess I'm just looking for a non-judgmental outlet. I was bullied severely all but one year of my school life, I never knew different than feeling worthless, never the less ... View more

This is my first time on this, so I don't even really know where to start. I guess I'm just looking for a non-judgmental outlet. I was bullied severely all but one year of my school life, I never knew different than feeling worthless, never the less I kept a brave face all day every day at school and had "friends" if you could call them that. It got so bad that I began self harming just to feel something, it helped bring me back from the dark. I barely remember those days as my brain has seemingly blacked them out. My family is selfish, my mother in particular, she had an awful upbringing in another country where her parents beat her, and while I don't blame her, old habits die hard. She used to hit me with a bamboo stick and drag me by my hair and slap me, sometimes in public, which as a child was embarrassing and I still remember very clearly. More recently I've noticed she seems like two people, one sweet and one extremely violent and nasty. Most days her comments are aimed at me, and I honestly don't meant to sound ungrateful, I have a roof over my head, but the things she says are so beyond nasty they always leave me in tears, and it wouldn't even really hurt that much if I knew she was doing it to everyone, but its only me. She tells me I'm worthless and she hates me and I'm the runt of the family and no one wants me, but the next minute she's forcing me to hug her and pretending it never happened. Sometimes the rest of the family join in and it breaks my heart because I always defend them when she says nasty things about them. I am the youngest and I feel so abandoned by the people I've counted on to love me no matter what. I read somewhere that emotional abuse is as bad as physical abuse, I remember reading the signs and symptoms and crying because I knew that was what was happening to me. I'm 20, my self esteem is lower than dirt and I feel so alone, even if I'm in a room full of people, it's the most awful feeling in the world, so I guess that's why I wanted to come on here in the first place. I just don't want to feel alone anymore. I feel so weak needing to go on a site like this because that's what's been programmed into my head. I don't know who I am anymore, people used to tell me I was meant for great things, but now I'm invisible. I was so sure my life was going to be more than this and I hate myself for sounding like such a sook but... I'm completely lost. I'm sorry if this made no sense, but if you made it this far thank you for reading.

the_one_1 Really worried that the girl I like doesn't like me back. Please Help.***Long Description***
  • replies: 3

So sorry for this really long description. It goes through my problem and why I’m depressed. Some of you might think I’m depressed about a stupid reason but I just hope you understand its difficult for me and I hope you can help. I really like this g... View more

So sorry for this really long description. It goes through my problem and why I’m depressed. Some of you might think I’m depressed about a stupid reason but I just hope you understand its difficult for me and I hope you can help. I really like this girl and it seems she is showing me signs of liking me back. But I’m not sure exactly if she has something back and it’s making me really depressed. I’m falling behind in my schoolwork, can’t concentrate on my schoolwork, not being able to sleep properly, loosing appetite, my parents are always getting angry at me and its due to this situation which makes me upset and i'm always feeling down. No one seems to help me but who ever I try to ask for help from they ask me to ask her out. It’s too hard for me to just ask her out without knowing if she has some feeling towards me. The other problem that has made me upset was that I had asked out a previous girl I liked about a month ago and she lied about wanting to go out with me. Can someone please help me out with the signs she has been showing me and tell me if she likes me back more than friends? SIGNS SHE LIKES ME I had asked out a girl who said yes but lied about wanting to go out with me. The girl I like now was surprised that I asked out a girl saying that I have a girlfriend but now, she doesn't know that the girl I asked out lied. On the same day a boy told me that the girl I asked out was lying about wanting to go out with me. This girl (who I like now) said "Talk to her and find out if she has mutual feeling for you and if she actually wants to go out with you. Just to make sure. She is a nice girl, I don't think she will be lying." saying it with a sad face and tone. On the same day, she said she wondered why guys don't ask her out. (She said this when I was close to her but not directly to me). The day or two after finding out I asked out a girl, she was talking about our essay project to me and another girl. She read one of the paragraphs and she looked at the girl 3-4 times and to me 7-8 times when reading it. I told her that I thought it was a good paragraph and she was smiling a bit. Before she found out I asked out a girl she showed signs that to me told me she likes me... When talking to me about my schoolwork, she touched/tapped my arm and later my back (this has never happened with other girls). Also her hand was close to mine and she didn't move her hand away and when passing pencils and pens to each other, she always made a way for me to touch her hand or her to touch my hand. When in class one time, I sat next to this girl and randomly she asked how many kids I would like to have when older. I said how many my partner wants to have but below a certain amount. Without me asking her she just randomly said she wanted a certain amount of children. She was sitting next to one of her girl friends in the class and she didn't really notice anything happen and the question wasn't directed to her. She talks to me and asks questions about my life (If I have brother or sisters) and random questions (If I can do cross eyes, How many children I want when older, about the sport we both like) She looks at me a lot. She also leans backwards towards me when sitting in class (she sits in front of me). We were talking in a group and I did something and she said we have to have dinner before we go there and was laughing/smiling she yelled my name out in a public place (school excursion) when she was with her girl friends and also in class (when in class she yelled my name out a lot throughout the lesson). It was also someones birthday on that same day as the excursion and her friend offered me some cake and she said that she made it. She also enjoys the sport I like and the girl I asked out doesn’t really talk about the sport. (Seems to have things in common to me) One of her good girl friends stare/look at me in one of the classes I'm in with her. When I walked passed her group, one of her girl friends looked at me as I walked passed. During exams and every time I see her after the exam she looks/stares at me. One time she was in her group and I saw her looking at me but I walked passed her. After I saw her with another guy (might has kissed on the cheek) (this guy has a girlfriend) and she looked at me. The next day of exams, she walked passed where I was standing and her eyes seemed to follow where I was standing. During exams, the girl I like was with her friends stared at me two times. Both times I caught her and she looked away. After, I noticed the girl one of her friends looked at me along with the girl I like, I caught them and they looked away and carried on talking. Then I caught of her friends looking at me, I caught them and they looked away. When the girl I like and her friends looked at me, they didn’t laugh or smile at me. They just looked at me, looked away and continued talking to each other. A guy did something to annoy her and she looked back at me. When we reached a fairly open space, she started to walk slowly like she wanted me to talk to her. As she walked passed my group, I noticed her glance in my direction. When she passed by my group going back to her group, she looked at me clearly. This happened when she was with her girl friend. I sat in front of her in a lecture and could feel her foot rubbing/touching my chair. When walking out of the lecture, I saw her friend smiling when walking next to me. SIGNS SHE IS SHOWING WHICH CONFUSE ME The girl I like was with her friend and was walking in the direction I had to walk, when they noticed I was walking the same direction, they walked the other way. Another day, there was a school lecture and the girl I like now asked where the lecture was and I wanted to know which subject lecture she was going to go to. I knew the answer to it and she said the direct opposite. I then spoke to a few boys about the sport which I like and the girl I like also likes. The boys stopped talking and the girl I like (girl 2) said "Don't Stop, I'm listening" and I spoke to her about getting the tickets to the match and a boy told me that the girl I like always talks about the sport and that I should invite her to the match. She just smiled and didn't say anything. After, she asked me what the lecture was about and said she was going to the one I was going to. On the way to the lecture she was walking with me. When we reached the venue for the lecture, she sat down on a stair and crossed her legs with the leg crossed over facing me. At this time she was speaking about her project marks and then about watching a few boys play rugby at our school carnival after she played her sport.

Worriedboy Help with a Friend?
  • replies: 2

Hi there, I made friends with a group of girls who all go to the same school about 3-4 months ago now, and have slowly been incorporated into the group. These girls are all around 15-16 years of age, and I'm a 16 year old guy. They're nice, but all h... View more

Hi there, I made friends with a group of girls who all go to the same school about 3-4 months ago now, and have slowly been incorporated into the group. These girls are all around 15-16 years of age, and I'm a 16 year old guy. They're nice, but all have a culture of low self esteem, self loathing, depression and self harm. The girl who I would consider my best friend in the world, she has hurt herself before - scars on her arms and scars in the shape of words like: "loser" and "fat" on her legs - and consistently is feeling bad/down about something. She constantly misses days off school, her parents are divorced and her mother isn't very assistive or kind. She isn't the smartest around, and doesn't have a good history with schoolwork or academia. The sort of things she talks about are generally why schoolwork is getting her down, whether her "friends" will talk to her, etc. She hasn't hurt herself for a while now (2-3 months) but still talks about it.... I was wondering what I can do to encourage her out of her rut, and get her self-esteem and self-belief up. She's an amazing person, I know it, but she can't see it. All she ever says about herself is that she is "so ugly" and "stupid" and is almost permanently sorry for something. Any advice would be useful... I am stuck and yeah Thanks!