Young people

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New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

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Struggling to take the first steps....

replies: 4

Hi, I've only just found this website & joined & I'm not quite sure where to start or who to turn to. I'm 22yrs old & I've been struggling with depression & anxiety for close to 2 years now & I've reached the point where I feel like I cant keep fighting this battle alone. I know I need to talk to someone yet I feel so pathetic for needed help & feel like my needs are so small compared to those who are struggling more than me. Is this normal? Where do I even start my road to recovery???? Any help will be truely appreciated.

Fear of blood, family thinks I'm attention seeking.

replies: 2

Thank you for opening my post. I'm 20, female and living at home. I suffer from depression, severe anxiety and agoraphobia. Since I can remember, every time anyone spoke of blood, organs, anything to do with the inside of the human body I always felt like throwing up. My neck would suddenly feel very tight, and all my nerves would feel a sensation that is almost like pain. I would have to start moving my body constantly/tapping my foot/make myself shudder or the weird sensation would get stronger. My mother and sister think it's funny, and after they'd realised I was struggling, they would talk louder about the subject and go into more detail and then tell me I am attention seeking. They would especially do it when I was younger and didn't drive, and they would be driving and start talking about it so I couldn't walk away. I also have trouble with getting my blood tested and most times I have to be given medication at the hospital to calm me down so they can take my blood. Please can I have some advice about how to handle this, it really affects me and I hate the way I respond to blood related things. (even writing about this right now I'm having to fidget and get up and walk around and my neck feels tight)

How do I tell my parents about my social anxiety?

replies: 1

I'm nearly 14 years old and I think that I have social anxiety. My mum is a psychologist and I know that she can help but I don't know how to tell her. And I also don't want to see her as a psychologist, I want to see someone who I am not related to or anything so that they can be professional. I don't know what to say or how to tell my mum that I have social anxiety or how she will react. Can someone please help?

Ostomy, body image, rejection...blah

replies: 2

This is likely to end up as a bunch of incoherent ramblings as it's after 2am and I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say, just that I need to get stuff out of my head somewhere people will possibly read it. So, 21, Female, no list of diagnosed issues. I spent a good portion of my teenage years being sick, the years when you develop great friendships, start shaping who you are and who you want to be in the future. I was really sick, and missed a lot. After 6 years I was left with one option. I had to have surgery to remove my entire large intestine, and was left with an Ileostomy. Essentially, a piece of my small intestine pokes through the wall of my abdomen, and an adhesive bag is attached to collect poop. Before I had the surgery I had a bf, our relationship continued after I had the surgery and he was very supportive and didn't have a problem with the ostomy bag. I've had the bag for over a year now, and been without my ex for over 6 months. In this time I've been rejected by 3 different men who were very into me but then suddenly disappeared at the mention of my Ostomy. I also gained a LOT of weight due to one of the medications I was on for my disease. Combine being severely overweight with an Ostomy bag and voila, instantly unattractive. Sprinkle some rejection on, add a dash of snide remarks from strangers and we have an even better dish of self loathing. I became fairly isolated whilst sick, and now I don't have any friends, aside from a couple of people I talk to online. I'm terrified of meeting them IRL and constantly make excuses. It freaks me out to the point where I wont even talk on the phone to them or skype with them. My only social interation is with family. Lately the rejection of a really great guy sent me into a spin. If he was an a***hole I could handle it, it wouldn't matter, but he's actually a really great guy so it messed with my head.I feel like I'm going to live the rest of my life alone, and once I move out I'll basically live in isolation only seeing people for family gatherings and work. I know it's silly, and people will say "you're only 21, you're still young" but they haven't had to deal with having an actual bag of poop on their abdomen. No one wants to get physical with that. Plenty of guys don't have an issue with fat, but they can't handle an Ostomy. Theirs a stigma around Ostomies, and a societal belief that they're only for old people. When a young person has one it's suddenly a tragedy, a story to tell to fill others with horror. In high school we watched a video of a guy who had been drink driving, caused an accident, and ended up with an Ostomy. They made it seem like it was the most disgusting thing ever, they basically shamed it. Thankfully I didn't have mine yet, but I knew at that point that it was an option. Looking back it seems like a really awful thing to do. So yeah, my ramblings. It basically amounts to poor me, I loathe myself, pity me.

My Life

replies: 1

well I guess it all started back in May 2009 when I had a fall at work and hurt my back I have disc degeneration and fibromyalgia, I worked at a supermarket in the deil and continued working there with my injury up until November 2009 as I was being bullied by my manager and the lady who was in charge of OHS.Because it was a workplace accident I was was having to deal with people that never gave a crap about me or my mental health they just fed me more and more pain medication to try and shut me up. in 2010 I was scheduled to have back surgery but because work compo wouldn't help pay my medical bills anymore an they gave a the flick I was forced to seek legal advice, so with the supermarket "Doctors" saying there was nothing wrong with me and clearly in my MRI there is evidence my surgery was cancelled.So that was the first huge blow to me when I was pining all my hopes on this surgery thinking it would take away all my pain and suffering I began to withdraw from everyone I loved my family , my partner and my friends well what was left of them. Because no one was looking after my mental health and all they cared about was my physical health it began to get worse and worse until one night I blacked out and when I came to I had self harmed.My partner was no help he just packed me up and sent me back to my parents as he wasn't strong enough to help me when I needed him the most, still with having to deal with the supermarket and lawyers I was getting worse but I slowly began to be able to get dressed in the morning and be able to step outside without being frighten.When I moved back up the coast to my partner things where ok in the beging until he started to become more and more aggressive towards me but stupidly I stayed because I felt like I had owe him because everything was my fault I continued to stay with him for another 3 years until enough was enough and I finally was strong enough to get out of the relationship.After 4 or 5 months after the break up I meet a guy and had sort of a one night fling with him but I ended up falling pregnant but I couldn't have it due to my back I would be bed bound and also I could never bring a child into this world without being financially stable cause its just not fair and the father wanted nothing to do with the baby so I had to terminate the pregnancy which I regret every single day of my life. Also the father gave me a nasty little surprise with after telling me that he had no STDs and that he was clean I ended up with herpes.Once I had come to terms with everything and started to heal my parents ended up splitting up .Honestly I don't no what I ever did to anyone to be served all these terrible things and by the way I had only just turnt 19 when I hurt my back and I've just turnt 24.I have good days and bad these past few months have been bad and ive started up self harming as it relases all the pain inside, ive sort medical help but some days I just think why bother even going on why bother even smiling.

Step parents putting you down

replies: 1

Everything about dad's house is great. Big house, nice car, rooms, clothes... Pretty much anything I want. But I don't go to dad's much. I had the choice but I'd rather live at mum's house than dad's because of my step-mum. She is always putting me down or I am getting into trouble for the littlest things. Sometimes, on the days I go to dads, i have a breakdown. I visit the counsellor, I cry I talk to my friends but no one can change anything. They just try and convince me that everything is going to be ok. My step mum used to get angry at me for telling my mum the things she would say to me because my mum would get angry at her and then my step mum would put it all back on me. So I stopped telling her and started telling dad. After that things would get better. But then my step mum would put all of the stuff dad told her back on me. I was getting in trouble for telling someone that I was in trouble. It has been going on since I was eight and I decided to stop telling dad. Instead I tried to keep out of trouble. I'd sit and read in my room all day... Only to get told off for hiding away. So I'd ask if there was anything I could do, if not, sit upstairs so I wasn't hiding. Then I got told off for invading her privacy. I'd then start to follow my stepsister because she never gets In trouble... Then I got told off for not leaving my stepsister alone even though my stepsister never at one point said anything to me. I don't know what to do! I'd spend time with dad but he is always working. He has left her a few times because of how she has treated me but she would always come back and promise not to be mean again. Yeah... That happened. I am really thin but she has told me that I NEED TO PUT ON WEIGHT! I can't win! I would want to go out and work in the shed with my dad on his car but would get the response "I thought you were a girl why would you want to go work on a car" even when I haven't done ANYTHING, I get huge sighs and mean looks. Everything I do has about thirty thoughts in it. When I'm making breakfast I'll think "hmm, I'm not going to have cereal because she said that I make it too runny even though that is how I like it, I'm not going to have cheese and vegemite because she said it was gross, I'm not going to have honey because she has told me that that is for weekends only even though my stepbrother has it a lot, I'm not having jam because it's hers and dads only so I think I'll have toast with peanut paste... Like everyother day" and this happens with everything. I try and walk quietly because I have gotten told I am too loud when I walk and I have gotten told that I walk to slowly, but I have also been told I walk to fast down the stairs. This is so much writing and I'm sure that their are stories that are much more important than mine but I just don't know what to do! I am always worrying and that gets me in more trouble but if I don't worry I get in more trouble! How can this stop! I've told her that I worry because of her but she says I am lying! She always says I'm "playing games" and being "manipulative". Why? GOD KNOWS! I don't understand. I just want her to be normal or me to stop getting in trouble and worrying so I can see my dad as much as I want to.

I am 14 and I think i have social anxiety or co-dependancy please help me

replies: 4

ok so i have grown up not having friends but all of a sudden there have been activities that i have had to go to that require being with people and doing social things. Everytime outside of school when someome asks me to come over i say no because i get really bad anxiety over it and im not sure why. This anxiey has happened when i went to a new school and i couldnt even get out the car. I have always been scared to go on trips and stuff. my parents seem to be involved in this. can i not ever be without them? how do i get better and become a more independent person please help. some one asked my over today and i said no because of the anxiety i have and it looked like they were having a fun time. every public place i go i feel like some one i know will come up to me and ask me to hang out and i wouldnt know what to say help

Not sure what I'm going through

replies: 2

Hi, I'm a 19 year old female. Currently studying in university. Life is ok for me, studies are going well, I have good friends, I have a boyfriend. Family life isn't the greatest. My parents are pretty much separated but we all kind of live together, it's a little messy but it's been like this since I was born so I think I'm kind of used to it. Sometimes I feel as though I'm kind of stuck in a rut. It's an effort to keep up with life and stay happy. I don't know if I'm stressing about second year of uni, or if it's just family stuff or if it's normal. I try to blame it on PMS but it happens really often. I stress about everything, it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I find it hard to get excited about things. I tell myself that I have everything going right for me. I'm so much more fortunate than so many other people but I just can't shake it off.

I think I have depression..

replies: 4

So as the title says, I think I have depression.. I probably don't but I felt like posting something because I feel really down all the time.. Basically, I've been feeling sad and stuff for probably over a year now, my doctor said I have anxiety and I have anxiety attacks and stuff but I don't know how to deal with that either. So the reason I think I'm depressed is that I just want to sleep all the time, I'm always tired and I've been tithe doctor about it a lot and had blood tests and stuff but I'm fine, I hate school, I don't want a job and have no plans for the future (I'm probably just lazy lol), and to be honest I just kinda feel done with life. (I'm not gonna kill myself). I don't know, I don't have anyone to talk to so I thought I'd come here, I don't really know what else to say..

At a loss.. despression and binge eating

replies: 2

Hi all.I have decided to join BeyondBlue as I desperately feel like I need to connect with other people who are going through similar difficulties to me. Maybe I will find the support and advice I have been searching for.I am 24 years old. I have been battling eating disorders since I was about 16. As a child my family moved to Italy. In highschool I tried to get thinner and fit in (Italian girls are naturally fairly slim, though very few deprive themselves of food or have eating disorders). Around 18/19 years old I developed a bulimic tendency This progressed into Binge Eating Disorder - and I went from 44kg (at my thinnest) to 65kg. At this point I was at Uni in the UK and started losing touch with who I was, who I wanted to be and those around me. I stayed in my room whenever I didn't have lessons and started ordering takeouts. I exercised less and less. I always binge watching TV shows/movies (mainly on my computer).After Uni I moved back with my parents in Italy for a few months, developed good rhythms and started feeling mentally and physical more sane.I then moved back to Australia to pursue my career in the theatre (I am now a freelance Stage Manager). The change seemed to jolt me out of my bad habits for a few months. However, I was living with a seclusive great-aunt I barely knew, and after a while I began isolating myself and eating in my room again. I put on what weight I had taken off.I then started a job with a play festival which involved me working most days. I met lots of fun people, who accepted me for who I was, not knowing the fitter thinner me of the past. I became more positive and energetic, and during this festival I met an inspiring young actor who became my long-term boyfriend. I still binged every so often, and eventually confessed my secret to him. He has been incredibly supportive, and has not once accepted my attempts to push him away, fueled by my guilt at being a burden to him.We now live together. Over the past 2 years I have become more fit and taken off a substantial amount of weight (I am now approx. 52kg). However, I cannot shake the feelings of hopelessness, worry, sadness, loneliness and worthlessness that continue to invade my life.I still binge. Sometimes more regularly, sometimes less. I tend to stress and worry about many things - money, if I have made the right decision in my career (I deal best with my problems when I am in a healthy rhythm, which the random hours of my job rarely permits), and all the small jobs I need to do in my everyday life. I often feel lonely and experience low self esteem, as all my friends from the past are abroad and all my friends in Australia I have made through my boyfriend - none of them particularly strong friendships. I feel as if he is popular, and the person others want to hang out with. He is also very friendly with other girls (he gets on better with girls than guys) which often makes me jealous and as if there are so many better girls out there for him. I also have days when I feel uncontrollably sad and hopeless for no particular reason.I do not know whether my eating disorders have stemmed from these feelings of depression (??) or vice verse. The depression often leads to me binging, and the binge increases my depression.I have gone to see a therapist for my Binge Eating Disorder, and I spent a fair bit of money. Though she gave me some useful coping techniques and we explored possible causes, I do not think this helped me very much. I stopped going to the therapist after a few months.I am at a point where I do not know what to do. I have talked extensively with my boyfriend and my parents. I have opened up to a few friends. I still do not see a way out. I cannot continue living like this, and I know that this will eventually destroy my relationship with my boyfriend, or make his life sad in a way I would hate myself for.Can anyone relate to my story? Can anyone suggest how I should move forward?Love to you all,erin89

New to this Forum? Please read this first! replies: 0

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

Struggling to take the first steps.... replies: 4

Fear of blood, family thinks I'm attention seeking. replies: 2

How do I tell my parents about my social anxiety? replies: 1

Ostomy, body image, rejection...blah replies: 2

My Life replies: 1

Step parents putting you down replies: 1

I am 14 and I think i have social anxiety or co-dependancy please help me replies: 4

Not sure what I'm going through replies: 2

I think I have depression.. replies: 4

At a loss.. despression and binge eating replies: 2