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Young people

A space for people aged 12-25 to discuss life. If you’re over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect.

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romantic_thi3f Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies
  • replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are i... View more

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

Sophie_M NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first
  • replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindfu... View more

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Lil_Britz Feeling alone but have everything...
  • replies: 4

I'm only 21 so most people thing I'm too young to have real issues, but little do people know that I grew up with an alcoholic mum who died at the age of 32, my step mum hates me....my mother in law tells me how ugly I am and dad speaks to me only wh... View more

I'm only 21 so most people thing I'm too young to have real issues, but little do people know that I grew up with an alcoholic mum who died at the age of 32, my step mum hates me....my mother in law tells me how ugly I am and dad speaks to me only when I call him. I have a perfect boyfriend whom I bought a home with a year ago. He is everything to me and yet I'm still not happy....I still need to tell myself everyday that I'm happy and I should be happy. I'm young and happy... Right? No I'm not I'm lonely because he is the only one who cares about me out of so many people that could. What did I ever do wrong to deserve this really? I don't have anybody else to tell but all of you. How sad am I.

Amynena Looking for help
  • replies: 1

Hi, I am looking for some advice/assurance etc about how I am feeling. I'm 21 years old and commenced at university this year and for most of the first semester I had been doing great. Towards the last few weeks I hit a wall and lost all motivation a... View more

Hi, I am looking for some advice/assurance etc about how I am feeling. I'm 21 years old and commenced at university this year and for most of the first semester I had been doing great. Towards the last few weeks I hit a wall and lost all motivation and now this has carried over into my second semester. I feel down, lost and disinterested in it all. I am finding I am getting teary and missing my family a fair bit at the moment. have hardly been sleeping (2-3 hours a night) and when I manage to sleep it is very restless and broken. It has been ongoing for awhile now and am wondering if this is all part of being a uni student or is it something more? If anyone could give me some guidance/help that would be great.

Catlady My story/Knowing where to get help.
  • replies: 2

Hi guys, I am new to Beyond Blue and have decided to try and get my head around everything and try and get help. I think the main thing for me is having other people around me who understand what is going on and may be willing to help. I have a wonde... View more

Hi guys, I am new to Beyond Blue and have decided to try and get my head around everything and try and get help. I think the main thing for me is having other people around me who understand what is going on and may be willing to help. I have a wonderful support network around me but I don't think they understand completely what is going on in my head. Well, here goes. I'm in my mid-20s and a uni graduate who has been diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder, depression and panic disorder. To sum me up, my personality is strong willed, quite sociable and bold but inside I feel weak, have low self confidence, am emotionally depressed and numb, feel worthless and feel like I'm in such emotional pain all the time. I feel anxious and on edge pretty much all the time.I started feeling depressed early in life but nothing was ever done up till recently to help me out. I was relentlessly bullied all throughout my school life and never sought any help for this despite all the pain, rejection and my tarnished self-confidence. I cried a lot during school and there were a few occasions where I self harmed and decided I didn't want to live anymore. Thankfully I got through my turbulent school years without ever getting help from a trained professional. I decided to study an area in human services because I wanted to help others who had been bullied. Things seemed to fall into place after a while when I went to university and started to have a new found confidence. This was because I was doing very well at university - gaining new friends, socialising, getting good grades. I had a great boyfriend for a few years who was very kind and supportive. After a while though, I burnt myself out with my thesis and ended up not spending enough time with him. On his side though, he was unemployed and didn't seem to be showing any signs of getting his act together. We broke up and I was depressed and devastated. This is where cracks were starting to appear in my apparent new found happiness. Eventually I graduated with an honours degree and decided to go on a long awaited holiday. Unfortunately, the holiday was caught short when I was caught up in a natural disaster overseas. I had to leave all the friends I found overseas because of this traumatic event and never got the chance to come to terms with my losses. I have moved on with my life now but still feel a sense of loss or grief when I think of it. This is when my anxiety and panic started to spiral out of control. I always had gotten the feeling that something was wrong with me but I was never diagnosed and couldn't put my finger on it. The world felt like a miserable and out of control place and I resented and still do resent the lack of control I have. I then came back to Australia after 4 months overseas and decided to get on with it and find a new job. I found a job within 3 weeks of returning and never got to work through my trauma and grief. The job I had seemed good at first but then I realised that it was incredibly stressful and that the workplace was cliquey, judgemental and blaming when something went wrong. This was the kind of workplace where everything that can go wrong in a day does. Because I'm a perfectionist, I didn't cope with this work environment too well but continued on until I started to lose motivation and eventually my sanity. I quit after less than a year and I was close to wanting to go out and commit suicide but it was only the belief of my family and my new boyfriend that kept me going. I decided to seek professional help. This was a big step for me - someone very stubborn who never liked admitting weakness and seeking out help. But I did it, and felt better for a while. I got myself a job I loved and started to see the beauty of life again. Then sadly, I got laid off after 5 months. I took it very badly and again wanted to die. Again, I went to see a psychologist and then went for another trip overseas to escape from everything, including myself. It was a lonely and isolating experience being overseas without my boyfriend and family. It wasn't all bad and I had some amazing experiences but I just wanted to go home. I am now in a new job which is very rewarding (although a bit stressful) but I just had my hours cut last week to almost nothing (one shift a week) and I am again confronting feelings of not being good enough, low self confidence, poor motivation and rejection. I love this job and things seemed to be getting on track again till I had an anxiety issue at work. I decided to inform my supervisor so I could stamp out these problems early on and nip them in the bud. Unfortunately, I think this changed her behaviour towards me and she now treats me as though I'm weak. I think she cut my hours because of these issues even though they aren't affecting my work performance. I am so upset and feel betrayed. I am in a financially bad situation and soon won't be able to afford to pay my rent. I feel a real sense of dejection and have zero motivation to even go out and get a new job and get my life on track. In the past at university, I was a highly motivated student and although I epxerienced anxiety and being down from time to time, nothing ever stopped me from wanting to live my life to the full and have a fulfilling life. Now I am just a totally different person - I have lost the will to care, to plan for the future and have really lost the will to live. This makes me feel guilty because I have an amazing partner and family but they don't understand what I'm going through. I am severely depressed but they just seem to think I'll "come right". "You'll come right", they say - I'm in such a bad frame of mind that I will not come right on my own and need help. I need professional help to overcome my personal demons and my poor sense of self worth and try and make myself feel like a normal person again. I think I need some really deep work which will look into my issues of the past and deconstruct a lot of my negative personal beliefs. But I need a good psychologist for that, one that really does understand my past and where I need to go. Where does one start in this journey? I eat well, exercise well and get out and have exciting hobbies but it still doesn't cure my debilitating anxiety and depression. I need guidance, support and someone who really understands where I am coming from. What do I do now? I feel helpless and need to know where to start. Thanks for listening.

Mr_J "come get pissed" at midday on a saturday..... No thanks
  • replies: 1

Hi, New person here. So for the last 2 years i've been drifting away from my old friends because they're all addicted to getting drunk and going out. These guys do nothing but party and drink on weekend nights. I can tolerate small amounts of time wi... View more

Hi, New person here. So for the last 2 years i've been drifting away from my old friends because they're all addicted to getting drunk and going out. These guys do nothing but party and drink on weekend nights. I can tolerate small amounts of time with them, but the only time i really see them now is when i feel i want to have a drink (once a month or so) The point of that ^ is that i decided to move. I'm moving countries, don't know where yet. I'll decide on the day. Friends think i'm going on a holiday, family knows and supports the idea. So when you're friends aren't working and things aren't right, go do something you really want to do. I want to travel and meet people with ambition and talent, not drunks and party goers, well i do but not every weekend I'll party if it's your 21st and it's a great party. I know someone will read this and say, "hey, my friends all do that and i'm getting damn bored". Dw i know so many of my friends say it, but the constant drinking problem in Australia is so bad. It's just dumb. But i was friends with them at school and it's now hard for me to meet people outside of that in my area. Moral of the story. Be true to yourself, enjoy your time on this blue planet. I love being alone sometimes, i listen to soundtracks from movies and smile or cry, whichever happens i feel happier after. Find time to love yourself, being alone isn't that bad, you get time to reflect on all the amazing things that have happened throughout your life. And if you're finding it hard to find amazing things to remember, than it's time to get off your butt and start making some J

Helenl How do I help my daughter who is very down
  • replies: 4

We have a 19 Year old daughter at Uni in the city. She is very lonely and does not like Uni. She lives in a block of flats where no one talks to each other. Lately she has become even more withdrawn and negative. She went to see a doctor for help abo... View more

We have a 19 Year old daughter at Uni in the city. She is very lonely and does not like Uni. She lives in a block of flats where no one talks to each other. Lately she has become even more withdrawn and negative. She went to see a doctor for help about four weeks ago. He suggested meds or a counsellor. She has seen the counsellor three times but has not liked him much. The third visit was on Thursday did not go well. She won't give details of why but she does not like breathing exercises etc. she sounds very low to us and is not responding to our texts and talking in monosyllables when we ring. Please what do we do. She sees little point in anything.

cristalm too long.
  • replies: 2

my name is Cristal ive been battling depression since I was 19 im now 25. From the ages of 18 to 21 I was in quite an abusive relationship he would lock me out of the house or throw my clothes in the front yard for me to pick up, this was just the be... View more

my name is Cristal ive been battling depression since I was 19 im now 25. From the ages of 18 to 21 I was in quite an abusive relationship he would lock me out of the house or throw my clothes in the front yard for me to pick up, this was just the beginning. As the relationship went on he started to get physical the occasional shove and even sometimes the odd slap. Things progressed from a slap to punch which coming from a male to quite a petite female would show no matter how hard I tried to hide it. I would go home from spending the weekend with him with a fat lip all because I wanted to do something not just stay home in a dingy smelly house. My mental health was spiralling out of control. I once was this carefree girl who was always smiling and full of confidence to this bare emotionless stranger, I had no idea who I had turned into. Since I ended it I have never been able to trust anyone, gender doesn't matter I just cant trust! I have sabotaged two relationships with a male who treated me nothing like my x did. But how can I get over it all? I have been seeing a psychologist for 12 months now and been taking anti depressents for 4 years and still nothing. is it something im doing wrong? im really at the end of it now and cant take much more.

jadeblack I really don't know where to put this or who to ask.
  • replies: 4

Hi, I'm jade. 19yo, I have many problems that I can't work out, the internet hasn't helped me in the slightest. The crux of this all, is that I have no idea whats wrong with me, I'm struggling with testosterone poisoning and in perpetual terror that ... View more

Hi, I'm jade. 19yo, I have many problems that I can't work out, the internet hasn't helped me in the slightest. The crux of this all, is that I have no idea whats wrong with me, I'm struggling with testosterone poisoning and in perpetual terror that my centerlink support is going to drop out from under me. I will sleep, 10 or twelve hours and my partner cannot get me up when I fall asleep; I miss a lot of school this way. I spend my every moment either incredibly upset at something for little reason or simply morose about my lot in life. People talking to me can even set it off. The rest of the time I'm worried about some facet of my life, most often Centrelink or school... Which having started on the 15th of the 7th I've been to one lesson of a 5 day p/week course, having left at the end of the first lesson, having broken into a cold sweat 5 minutes in, yet managed to stay for it, at least. I'm seriously struggling with body dysphoria, intertwined with the need to mutilate myself, but I've been stopped by the presence of my partner, mostly. Out of fear of retribution. I'm having immense problems absorbing new information; people explain how to do things to me and It's as if I can't process the words properly. I listen to every thing they say carefully, but forget even the most simple of new tasks. I'm always moody and slightly upset with my partner, shes never done anything wrong to me. But I simply can't help it. I have no motivational ability, I need food, clean clothes, to call people on the phone... but I can't, I put off eating for days sometimes, just because it would mean going out to buy food, which, is currently the only thing I enjoy, leaving bed is even a chore now. The idea of simply picking up the telephone to talk to someone, fills me with anxiety, I put it off for months when I can, I've gone without power for 8 days just to avoid talking to the power company, until my fish started to die off and my partner did it for me. I have constant sexual desire, not always erect, but I am constantly fantasizing. Trying to relieve this makes my sadness so much worse, often triggering a want to commit suicide. it may have some inception in that; I last for very much less then a minute during intercourse. I used to adore video games, but now I play them not because they're fun, they make me feel worse but, if I don't log in and sit at my desk for people to speak with me, that I'm totally worthless, don't deserve anything, that I'm not getting anything done and that I'm hurting the people I talk to there. I try to quit, but I have panic attacks that I'm letting everyone I know there down by my picture not being in the chat channels. I can't bring myself to clean often, when I can it's for afew minutes before I'm out of breath, angry and in a cold sweat. This means that my floor is covered in a mess of dirty clothes, papers and bottles. I don't need to be happy, I don't need to fix everything wrong its not worth me doing it but I need to be stable so I can try, but I don't know how to do that. I can't even pick up a phone to begin to ask people for help. Please help me.

amy41319 youth member of beyondblue
  • replies: 5

I'm Amy, 16 years old and I am struggling with depression, general anxiety disorder and a little bit of social anxiety. Each of those were beginning to surface at about 10 or 11 years old, so for about 6 or so years now I've been having problems. I e... View more

I'm Amy, 16 years old and I am struggling with depression, general anxiety disorder and a little bit of social anxiety. Each of those were beginning to surface at about 10 or 11 years old, so for about 6 or so years now I've been having problems. I enjoy watching tv shows, I watch far too many to name them all but my two favourites right now are Sherlock and Castle. After I finish high school I plan on studying to be a midwife, then later down the track I definitely would like to have a family of my own. My social anxiety isn't too bad, but some days are more worse than others. I wouldn't mind getting to know some people on here and share my experiences, as physically there aren't any people around me who quite understand.

apr123 Stressed
  • replies: 1

I'm 22 y.o. male, I am currently in my final semester of my final year of university. I have some history of what I was told was anxiety and I lack confidence. For the past 2 years I've been dealing with it whilst studying. This year I transferred to... View more

I'm 22 y.o. male, I am currently in my final semester of my final year of university. I have some history of what I was told was anxiety and I lack confidence. For the past 2 years I've been dealing with it whilst studying. This year I transferred to another degree not because I didn't like the one I was doing, but simply to avoid an aspect of it which I knew was going to cause me some anxiety. As a result I am now studying something I hate, but I feel pressure to complete it from both myself and others and I worry about what people will think of me if I do chuck it in. It is extremely frustrating for me, I feel like I am in a 'stuffed if I do, stuffed if I don't' type situation. I'm overwhemled by the pressures (whether they're real or perceived) to find a career, move out of home etc. Over the past few years I've stopped doing several things that I previously loved such as playing sport and I believe anxiety is at the core of it. Its held me back in the past and I'm worried it will continue to for the rest of my life and I will never achieve anything because of it. All I really want is to be happy! Welcome any advice.

Samantha11 A bit of help from anyone please :/
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone I really didn't know where else to turn to or who to talk to and I remembered beyond blue and found this forum and thought it might be the best place to start and get advice so if anyone has any thoughts it'd be much appreciated Not exact... View more

Hi everyone I really didn't know where else to turn to or who to talk to and I remembered beyond blue and found this forum and thought it might be the best place to start and get advice so if anyone has any thoughts it'd be much appreciated Not exactly sure where to start now haha Well a bit about me is that I'm 19 now and an only child and to just say it straight, I have no idea what's going on with me Every day just seems like such a chore and frankly, nearly every night I lie in bed pretty much hoping that I won't wake up because I don't want to deal with it all I can remember as far back as grade 6 when I thought my parents didn't love me or something because they'd always fight and argue. They still do argue quite a bit, and my dad has anger issues so when he gets angry he gets these fits where he loses control and hits anything and anyone around him. I don't think there's a single week where my parents don't argue and I didn't really tell anyone until I got into high school and I was telling one of my friends and a teacher overheard and told me I should speak to a counsellor. And so I went counselling throughout grade 7 and 8 and to be honest, it didn't help much at all. I used to write heaps - stories, essays, poems - and loved art! Basically, I loved studying because it was sort of a distraction from everything going on at home and yea I liked going to school because it wasn't home as well. There was one person I'd tell everything to though, my best friend who was also my age and I'd known him ever since we were little. He was pretty much my brother. In year 8, my parents made me sit a scholarship exam and I didn't want to because I liked my previous school and it gave me somewhere to be, but they told me I only had to sit the exam and that I could choose if I wanted to go or not. My parents focused on 'preparing' me for the exam so much so that my mum told me that she'd take poison if I didn't get in. Of course, I'm not sure if she meant it but it wasn't a risk I wanted to take either. Ultimately the whole 'choice' of going to the scholarship school didn't even come into play when I did get in and I went there for 4 years, not liking it one bit and asking to go back but they didn't let me. I kept writing to take my mind away from things and tried getting involved with cocurricular activities like I did at my old school but it was hard because everything was difficult at my new school! Everything was a competition and I hated it. Back at home, my parents would keep arguing and my mum tried running away but we stopped her, my dad continued to get fits and I didn't know what to do. So as much as I hate myself for it now, I turned to self harming, not because I wanted to end my life then I don't think, just because I felt like I was the problem and I hated myself and my life and everything. My mum would always say that they wouldn't be together if I wasn't alive and things like that which made me feel worse. At the end of year 10, I found out that my best friend was diagnosed with cancer and that was pretty much an all time low for me. But I went to the hospital every day I could and stayed with him and then one day his dad came up to me and told me I might not see him again. Just three months after he was diagnosed he passed away. I was an absolute wreck then because it was as if I'd lost what made me happy. I had school during that time so my parents still told me to go (after the funeral and everything) and I couldn't, just couldn't concentrate or talk without crying, and I had no idea how I was going to do two vce subjects the following year. Again, I was sent to the counsellor who told me I needed to see a psychologist so she told one to come in every week and I went to see her. And I told her quite a bit, and I guess it helped, although some of her methods like 'write down three things that made you happy every day' didn't help at all and I felt like I was lying through that. I spoke to her about my parents as well, by the time we got to talking about that it was the end of year 11. At the end of that, she straight out told me there wasn't much she could help me with so I was back to square one with how bummed I felt and I wasn't any happier. She didn't say I had anxiety or depression so I've always thought and still think that maybe it's none of that and it's something else which I'm not sure what it might be if it's even anything. At the end of year 12, I was somewhat excited because I thought maybe it was just a really long phase I was going through and uni would be different and everything would change. Now I'm in uni, and things are the same and there are so many times when I stop and think about whether I've actually ever been happy and what that even feels like. Like what does being 'happy' even mean? Because maybe I'm delusional and it's all in my head and everything's perfectly fine. So is it normal to day in and day out, not want to do this anymore? I tried talking to my parents about it and they shouted at me saying that I have everything I could want (yes I'll admit I am spoiled and have quite a lot of things other kids might want) and that I have no reason to be upset. I tried talking to my friend about it and he told me that everyone has problems at home and that I'm just being overdramatic. But am I? My dad was crying on the floor just last week, is that normal? I tried talking to them about getting a divorce but it's not something you do in their culture (and mine I guess) and I tried talking to my dad but he won't open up to me, he just said there's something wrong with him and he's going to the doctors about every fortnight to talk about it with the doctor. So I just don't tell anyone because I feel like maybe it's all in my head and I'm being stupid. But even when my parents aren't fighting and everything's actually fine, I just feel so sick. I think I realised late last year that I don't want to be around anyone anymore. As mean as it sounds, I don't care about anyone anymore either and I don't like writing or painting or anything and it annoys me because as much as I try to like it, I can't. Lately, I tried figuring out what on earth I'm even on this earth for so I can do that and just get out but even then people say I'm too young to know that yet. I'm trying to help myself and figure out what's wrong without bothering anyone but I just can't. I'm not saying I have a problem, because yea there are people out there who probably have it much worse off than me I know. But I guess everyone's different, and I really can't take it anymore. I downright hate myself and don't know what to do about it. Then again maybe it's just a phase I'm going through like how everyone goes through ups and downs but as much as I don't want to think it's true, I can't stop and think of a time where I've been happy for more than a couple of days straight. I'm not stressed about anything because uni work is going how I wanted it to and thankfully I'm doing well, with my parents arguing, I'm way over even caring what happens now, my friends, I honestly don't care about that either and I'd much rather stay at home than go out with them or anyone. Sorry if I've offended anyone with what I've said somehow, but I really just needed to get most of it out If anyone feels this way as well, or has been there and dealt with it, it'd be nice to hear about it.