Young people

A space for people aged 12-25 to discuss life. If you’re over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect.

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romantic_thi3f Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies
  • replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are i... View more

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

Sophie_M NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first
  • replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindfu... View more

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Mace feeling useless and its ruining my life
  • replies: 2

hey im not really sure where to start and im new to this concept of oppening up to anyone let alone posting my feelings online but i could really use some help and i appologise for any spelling mistakes and also for maybe writting so much but its bee... View more

hey im not really sure where to start and im new to this concept of oppening up to anyone let alone posting my feelings online but i could really use some help and i appologise for any spelling mistakes and also for maybe writting so much but its been a months of silence. I used to be a large kid like i was very overweight and i recieved a large amount of bullying at the start of highschool because of this, and its those words then that have made me fragile today i eventually bagan to play football (austalian rules football) when i was 15 i didnt get far in tha,t i snapped my ACL in my first game leaving me unable to walk or do any physical activity for 12 months, so in this time i began to put on extra weight making it even harder for me to fit in, i came back to play the next year and with playing the sport i found i was able to make friends and i evenutally lost alot of weight i got scouted and eventually started playing reserves football for my club at the age of 16 and i felt my life was looking up for me i was no longer bullied i eventually got my first girlfriend and it was looking great i met this girl on the 23rd of May we started talking and after 2 motnhs i asked her out on the 14th of july i know this may be seen as not a big deal to some but as a 16year old male at the time this to me was love and i still believe it is, i did everything i possibly could for this girl i spent $2000 on her, and keep in mind i still go to school and i work part time at a retail outlet where i earn an average of $80 a week but it was not about the money i took extra shifts at work such as night shifts meaning i would work for from 9pm till 9am i would then go from work straight to school just so i could spoil her, the relationship went great for the first 5 months i would spend all my weekends with her she would come see my football i became really close to her family as she did mine. After the 5th month part of the relationship things became apparant that it was slowly falling down hill she started spending less time with me and more time with all her friends and i was left to seeing her once a month if i was lucky i accepted that i never complained and i always let her see her friends i didnt want to cause any problems after 3 months of not seeing her i stood up for myself and it lead to an arguement resulting in me ending the relationship because i was feeling mistreated i would give her all my time and money and effort when she was always to busy to see me and to me i felt that was unfair to me, After the relationship had ended i went back to her house to regain some of my possesions such as jumpers and so forth i said she could keep all the gifts i had bought her, because they where hers, i also asked for some money she owed me which she has never repaid me but its not the money im really after, since this break up i have constantly thought about her and regretted everything to do with causing an arguement leading to this break up i have stop participating in my football meaning i have been dropped from the reserevs squad and also causing me to put on a large amount of weight which has bought some bullying back on to me, i have recently realised i spend my weekends drinking alcohol and doing this makes me someone i am not and i do not like the person i am becoming but it feels like its the only escape i have from this constant feeling of regret. The thing that hurts most about the breakup is the fact that she seems to not be bothered by the fact of me ending the relationship which hurts becaus i put in so much effort to make her feel special this constant feeling of worthlessnes has stopped me from focusing on my year 12 studies and it has really shifted my life i went from being so high in life with my sport and my studies to being noone with no will to go on i used to be such an energetic person i was loud and always happy i was a glass half full kind of person nothing ever bothered me, but since this break up i am a miserable heap who has no passion for anything or anyone. thankyou and i once again apologise for writting so much and i know it may not seem like anything to be upset about but its been eating away at me for months now and i cant carry on much longer...

Rebeccasarah96 I just don't know what to do anymore.
  • replies: 2

I'm new to this, so really I do not know how it works. Im 17, trying to cope with the pressures of OP subjects as well as many out of school crap. My brother is 22 this year, and he was born with Asperger spectrum disorder. I'm not completely sure wh... View more

I'm new to this, so really I do not know how it works. Im 17, trying to cope with the pressures of OP subjects as well as many out of school crap. My brother is 22 this year, and he was born with Asperger spectrum disorder. I'm not completely sure what it is, but he has episodes where he will yell and scream, he threatens to hurt others and kill himself. He will throw things, put holes in things, hurt people. We have had police and ambulance around many times to take him to the mental section of the hospital. I have had to witness horrific things in my childhood, and so had my 14 year old brother. We have had to lock ourselves in a room and listen to him pushing my parents around, the sound of screaming, crying, banging, and crashing still haunt me. He has never hurt me, I am the only one who can talk to him, but I am still absolutely terrified of him. One day I had a little party at my mothers while she was away. I went for a walk and when I came back, my brother was there with a goon bag. He seemed fine, and I wanted to trust him being there with us. I aloud him to drink with us. My friends all eventually went home except two. It was just me, my two friends and my brother. He was highly intoxicated at this stage, and so were we. He began to become greatly agitated and stupid. I tried to get him out. He grabbed mums keys and tried to drive out, I sat on the bonit to prevent him, he still tried to drive with me sitting on the car. My mate pulled me off and tried to take the keys off him. I ran down the street to cry and breath. I remember turning around and my brother was threatening my friend. I ran back and pushed them apart and screamed at him to leave. My friend ran away and my brother followed. I was left worried about what was going to happen to them both. I eventually found my friend and just broke down on the ground hyper ventilating. We went home, i though it was over. I sat on my lounge room floor crying "I can't do this any more . Then my brother walked in, he told me he was sorry and that he was going to kill himself. I said, you go I go. Until he told me he wouldn't. Than he left. By this stage we were all a mess. My other friend than decided to write us both suicide letters than run out of the house. I ran outside and screamed at the top of my luyngs "JESSE, GO GET JESS, SHE WANTS TO KILL HERSELF" we both bolted down the street and around the block, i collapsed. Dropped to the ground, i couldn't breath. I was done. I tried to scream for help but no one heard me. I got to them and we all cried on the side of the road. Than the worst came, my brother had the car, and i saw him going as fast as the car possibly could towards a building, that was it, i jumped in front of the car. if he was going I was coming with. My friend pulled me by the arm and i fell in his lap, punching him screaming "Let me die, I just want to die, I cant do this any more . Jesse called the police immediately My brother stopped and came to us, i went belistic at him, I said get home now and wait for me. I convinced him police were not coming. When they arrived I simply said "I'm sorry". He ran out the back door down the street, i screamed to police he went out the back, get him. I walked out the back and fell on the road, Jesse told the police to get me to the hospital, call an ambulance, she has been hyperventilating all night. They thought I was fine. The police finally got him. That night all that went through my mind was death, that's all I wanted. My friends screamed at me, and shook me "Get out of this faze, stop bec, come back". They put me to bed, and I woke up the next day the same. I told my parents everything, they thought I was fine. I was depressed before this but after this night, I was suicidal. I also have issues with mum. She has had numerous relationships since she divorced my father when i was 4. Each one is different, one had epilepsy, some were abusive to my brothers, one was a pervert, an alcoholic, and others just regular men. I was over it. Her latest is 22 years older than her. I went on holiday with him, my mum and little brother. I had just found out my grandmother had parkinsons disease. The whole holiday i argued with mum, over not wanting her boyfriend to spend money on me, not to cause a scene in a 5 star restaurant, and the final one was i wasn't going to finish dinner. This argument caused her to go off, than her boyfriend did. He got right in my face and screamed "your a selfish little bitch, stop treating your mother like shit" I just replied with "Your not my f**king father". I ran to my room and broke down on the phone to my dad. My mum aloud it and agreed with him. I heard him bitching to her about me to my mum, "she's a little princess" (sarcasticly). I grabbed my shoes and ran away. I ran through a dark forest to the beach. Fell to the ground screaming, i knew no one could hear me. She knew I was depressed yet she aloud me to feel like that. I came back and didn't speak to any more that night, the next day, or even for weeks. She than moved in with him. She had only knew him for 3 months and once again he was priority number 1. My depression had become really bad and for months my treatment was postponed. My dad has had to pay for school, doctors, and other necessities. He is my hero. My brother stopped talking to me for 4 months, apparently i tried to get him sent to jail. My bestfriend blocked me out of his life for no good reason. My other bestfriend found her boyfriend more important, and I was fighting with my stepsister who was one of my closest people. I was so alone, I couldn't talk to my dad, or little brother because the advice wasn't helping. I sat in my room in the dark every night and cried for a couple of weeks. My concentration dropped, and is still really bad today. The stress of trying to pass school with OP, and teachers breathing down my neck, makes everything worse. I run out of classes crying. I can't deal with it any more I have close friends I can talk to now, but with my mental thinking I don't want to worry them or annoy them, so I keep everything to myself. I have been on anti-depressants for a month, they aren't working. They make me feel mentally awkward. I can't be around people. Im so behind at school and I know I have 6 months left of school forever, but these will be the hardest to go. Everyday I scare myself and everyone around me, I do not want to be here any more I want it to be the future already, out of school, my own career, away from everything bringing me down. I know people may not read this, but my doctor thought it was a smart idea. It may not help, but I want to know I'm not alone. If you spent the time, to read this, thank you.

Lyssa Just a little about me...
  • replies: 2

Hi, I promised my friends and myself that I would attempt to communicate on these forums so here goes. When I was teenager I was sad at least 99% of the time, I have these clear memories of me getting home from school then laying underneath my bed an... View more

Hi, I promised my friends and myself that I would attempt to communicate on these forums so here goes. When I was teenager I was sad at least 99% of the time, I have these clear memories of me getting home from school then laying underneath my bed and crying for hours at a time. My family classed this as “just being a teenager” and ignored it for the most part. The problem is that I am now 23 and regular bouts of melancholy/depression/overall worthlessness continue. I had about a year of being happy and feeling “normal” when I was about 19 (coinciding with making a lot of friends at college and having a boyfriend). However this time was short lived and I have been depressed most days for over two years now but have stonily refused to communicate about it. Things hit an all time low last year when my boyfriend broke up with me saying it was “so tiring” that he could never convince me I was beautiful and loved. I was also quite heavy at that time so self esteem was at an all time low and the break up turned the whole thing into a nasty cocktail of negative emotion. I have since started exercising regularly (lost all the weight!) and still keep in contact with my ex-boyfriend and we are on pretty good terms. However, even with this I STILL feel depressed most of the time and my weight loss has backfired to the point where I constantly obsess about my current weight. I have recently started a PhD since academia has always been one of my strengths but a lot of the work is stuff I do at home which means I have little regular social contact. The friends that made my college years so enjoyable don’t seem to have time/want to spend time with me so loneliness is a very dominating feeling. It has now gotten to the point where I have a paper due in a few days and I am not going to get it finished in time (something I have NEVER had a problem with). I often find myself wishing I wasn’t around anymore since I contribute so little to the world and the people I know but I quickly dismiss the idea of killing myself as being too untidy. So I’m kind of at a loss of how to improve my situation. The only person who wants to spend time with me is my ex-boyfriend who (while we are good friends) he is tied up with a lot of anxious feelings of the past and the prospect of him dating other people is still not something I enjoy thinking about. So that’s my story, for those of you who read it I really appreciate it J. I know I may not get a reply to this but hopefully the act of posting this will be therapeutic in itself.

GreyDonkeys My embarrassing life.
  • replies: 1

um... hi....to whoever is readin this. This is the first time i have ever done anything like this but i really just need to get this off my chest hoping that the tiniest bit of weight will be lifted of my shoulders.i have no idea what im supposed to ... View more

um... hi....to whoever is readin this. This is the first time i have ever done anything like this but i really just need to get this off my chest hoping that the tiniest bit of weight will be lifted of my shoulders.i have no idea what im supposed to write but i hope this is okay.... This is my struggle. This is my story. My story begins in yr. 8 (2006) when I went to a school production and as I got on the bus I felt breathless and lightheaded and then fainted, this was the beginning of my "anxiety" attacks. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before so I put it down to dehydration and that’s what it seemed to be. But then in the summer of 2007 I was doing cadets (surf life saving) and I had two anxiety attacks in one day and one of them was while I was in the water. I had no idea what was happening to me, it was very frightening and for it to happen on the beach in front of so many people made it that much worse. I was totally and utterly embarrassed. That afternoon I got home and told mum, we both put it down to asthma and she brushed it off while I felt like an idiot. Yr. 9 (2007) was a total blur with me having anxiety attacks left right and center. My first 'major' one was when I was in religion and I got short of breath, thinking it was my asthma I went to my locker to get my ventolin which is where I completely lost it and had a full blown attack. My attacks were varied from shortness of breath to hyperventilating to blacking out in which case I would have to be carried by teachers. They would also be from anywhere between only 10 mins to a few hours. One of the worst cases was on school camp, I went on a challenge high course and had an anxiety attack while up there and my weekend just got worse from there, I have never felt so humiliated in my life. I hated it! it was like having an attack for 3 days straight, I was exhausted, they were almost going to ring the ambulance but I begged them not to. The teachers also wanted to call my parents to tell them what had happened, they did which I didn’t forgive them for. I hated the fact that mum and dad knew. I dint know why, I think I felt they would be disappointed. Anyway through the year I saw the school counselor who attempted to help me with "strategies" they then also passed me onto a psychologist. I felt neither of them were very helpful and the strategies I was supposed to use I felt were just pointless, for instance I had to go through the alphabet. I guess it was hard for them to help me when there didn't seem to be any one cause. The one person I could count on when having an attack was my yr. 9 coordinator, I have no idea why but he was the only one that could calm me and actually comforted me. I will be forever grateful to him for what he did, he definitely got me through the year. Yr. 9 was one of the hardest years of my life. My anxiety attacks made me feel different (that I wasn't normal), that I wasn't in control and everyday that I went to school I felt embarrassed in front of my peers. After yr. 9 there didn't seem to be as many attacks but they were still there. I was still seeing the psychologist but I was really doing it just to keep my mum and dad happy. But inside of me I started to feel down, sad and worthless. I began having dreams and thoughts about ending my life, one day at school I tried to hurt myself (I have never told anyone that before) but not with the intention of dying more that I didn't care what happened to me, and of course nothing happened I just felt really sick and dizzy. But those thoughts were still there, I ended up talking to one of best friends about it, I just wanted to get it off my chest. After a couple of weeks my friend came to me telling me that she was going to go to the school counselor with what I had said, I told her that if she did our friendship would be over. A few days later I was on the bus home when I got off mum was in the car waiting for me which was odd cause our house was within easily walking distance, not thinking too much of it I got in. I could feel the tension in the air I asked her what was wrong and as we were speeding down the highway she told me that the psychologist had rang informing her of my thoughts. I immediately burst into tears. In that moment I was seriously thinking of jumping out of that car at 100km/ph., I felt dead inside, I felt mums disappointment, I felt that my life was not worth living right there and then, I didn't want to have to deal with the consequences and I wanted it all to be over. I have no idea what stopped me but for that 30 min drive that’s all I thought about while blubbering. When we got to the psychologists I refused to go in but in the end I did, we weren't going to leave, as my normal psych wasn't there I had to talk to someone new. So I talked...and I talked and got everything off my chest. How I felt my relationship with my mum wasn't very good and that she didn't understand me, how I felt I was a failure, and how I wanted to kill myself. When I walked out I felt like the biggest weight had been lifted off my shoulders, but I found this was only a short-term fix. When I went back to school I distanced myself from my usual school friends and found a new group, I learnt not to talk to them about my anxiety and sadness if I wanted to feel somewhat equal and if I wanted the friendship to last. I went to the psychologist a few more times that year (2007) but felt it wasn't helping anymore, I didn't find there strategies useful and they wanted to include my mum and I didn't and overall I just didn't feel like the understood. So through the rest of my high school years I had anxiety attacks and still had dark thoughts but didn't seem too bad so I kept quiet. In 2011 I had a gap year and as you can imagine it was not very stressful (I had to have 2x knee surgeries) so from what I can remember I didn't have any attacks but this was one of my happier years because towards the end I became close friends with these two girls. I had never felt so happy, included, equal and loved as I did with my new found friends but also my family and I can safely say if those two girls weren't in my life I believe I would not be alive today, they saved me from myself. In 2012 I started university and stayed on campus. Within the first couple of weeks I had my first anxiety attack in what felt like forever, and it was the first one I ever had intoxicated, as you can imagine it was not a pretty sight. It went on for at least 4 hours until I blacked out. When I woke the next morning all I could think about was the fact my new 'unit' friends would think I was a lunatic. I was mortified that they had had to witness it and that next day I had another one. These anxiety attacks brought back all those unwanted feelings I had left behind a year ago. So I went to the doctors that weekend and asked for help. My GP gave me two options; either sees a psychologist or medication. I had tried talking to someone before and it didn't work, I wanted the possibility of these attacks gone I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of my new friends ever again so I took the medication , which seemed to help. I didn't have any more attacks but I still had the unwanted feelings. One time in my room on campus I was feeling quite down and felt like I might hurt myself, the fact that I couldn't go through with it made me feel even worse so I tried to hurt myself another way, knowing nothing drastic would happen but hoping to god it would. Obviously nothing happened I just felt a bit sick. Then when I would go out drinking with friends, I would really drink, say 9-15 standards or more in 6 hours. Mixed with the medication, I was a mess. The positive was that in those few hours I would forget everything wrong in my life and it would seem to be rainbows and sunshine but then the next day would be even worse with all those feelings coming back along with the embarrassment of the night before. So this summer (2013) I went back to the GP and she gave me a higher dosage of my medication, and it has made me feel somewhat better. I definitely have my good days but I still have my down days and I all I can think about is what’s wrong with me? In my heart I think no I know that I should not feel like this, have these thoughts. But that’s how I know that there must be something wrong. I don’t understand why this has and is happening to me I feel like there are so many things wrong in my life and I feel like I cant catch a break, a chance to breathe, but at the same time I know my problems are small. In my life I have been quite lucky, no one in my family has died, my parents aren’t divorced, I wasn’t bullied in school and the fact is my parents have given me every opportunity in life and I know they love me. So the question remains, what the hell is wrong with me? The fact is there are many days in which I wish I could trade places with some poor person with a terminal illness so that they can use my life to its full potential. I still have thoughts about death although in my heart I know I'm too cowardly to go through with it, and I don't think I could bare to put my family through that kind of pain. There’s so much more I want to say, most of this has never been heard by anyone else and to be honest it probably doesn't make sense but as I’m typing I feel the darkness surrounding me getting that little bit lighter. Kari