Young people

So confused and anxious about my relationship in crisis

replies: 9

I feel so utterly helpless about my relationship and don't know what I'm doing with my life. I've been in a relationship for over 5 years, its become so toxic and I just want to give up. We're both 30. A few years back I broke up with him as I felt t... View more

I feel so utterly helpless about my relationship and don't know what I'm doing with my life. I've been in a relationship for over 5 years, its become so toxic and I just want to give up. We're both 30. A few years back I broke up with him as I felt trapped in the relationship and like I had enough, there wasn't a reason I just felt we weren't connecting. We got back together and still saw each other, he was there for me with my anxiety and depression,but I still didn't feel sure about the relationship. He was there for me and I felt I couldn't let go. When he went to his family interstate I went on a few dates, but nothing came of the dates but I never told him. He's a genuine, kind guy I feel so bad things are still not working. He has so much hope and positivity for our relationship and always tells me that I am the person that he cares about more than any one in the world. He is a really decent guy. But why after all these yrs am I still so confused? Its gotten worse recently as we live together & our sex life is non-existent. I never feel in the mood to be with him that that way. Also, last year he proposed, and I still haven't decided if its what I want. He proposed in Europe & and wanted it to be really special. We fought nearly every single day. About what we were doing, just in general I can't communicate with him. He is quiet and usually fine to just do what I want, rather than tell me what he wants. In Amsterdam I tried some marijuana and had a terrible reaction, and I blamed him for telling me to do 2 joints. I felt let down that he told me to take 2. Towards the end I had a massive anxiety and depression. I threatened to leave and just take a flight back home as I had had enough. I was so stressed, stressed over all of the silly arguments we were having on a daily basis. He got so angry & upset I was getting so anxious and yelling in the hotel at him, and he threw an engagement ring he had bought in my face. I was distraught. It was the perfect ring but now it has such bad memories. He was devastated that he'd thrown it at me. I had no idea he had wanted to propose, our relationship was not going well before the trip. Although I said yes, when we got back home I still felt so stressed about our relationship, and I have not told anyone, Ive only told my mum. This was 6mths ago and I still don't know what Im doing. We've started counselling now but I feel like counselling isn't enough. Should I just give the relationship up/ Pls help

Lonely reality for a 20 year old

replies: 4

I am a 20 year old law student who works part-time as a bartender, and I have been experiencing persistent feelings of loneliness. I am single, but my loneliness is not stemming from lacking a partner. No, its stemming from a lack of meaningful frien... View more

I am a 20 year old law student who works part-time as a bartender, and I have been experiencing persistent feelings of loneliness. I am single, but my loneliness is not stemming from lacking a partner. No, its stemming from a lack of meaningful friendships with other people (especially guys my age). As a uni student who is also working, life can be pretty busy, and finding time for a social life is difficult. Looking at the people I do associate with though, it leaves something to be desired. I have tons of acquaintances at uni who I work together in the same unit and assignments - but outside of that we have nothing to solidify a friendship, and once the unit finishes, so does our connection. Similar situation with work, except colleagues are not interested in having any further interaction (and fair enough too I suppose). Apart from the acquaintances, I do have 'closer' friends from either high school or uni that have a bit more substance. Problem is that the interest is really disappearing. I try to make plans to catch up with them and they seem keen initially and we set a date, then the night before or on the day they cancel with excuses that just become flimsier as time goes by. It's also almost a miracle for someone to ever want to make plans with me. Oh well, I guess their lives are busy too and they're moving on to new friends (something I wish I had more success in). I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm running out of friends, have so little time to myself as it is, and I feel like I have no prospects to make new, meaningful friendships. I think part of the problem also relates to Facebook in a way. I feel like many people my age are too obsessed with their image and this superficial idea of friendship (number of friends, likes etc) they have forgotten how to have, and maintain a sustainable friendship. To have some investment in it, and to have mutual respect and support. I try to be the best friend I can be, but it just feels like I'm the only one who is even making an effort. Sorry if this seem a bit muddled up, but I would definitely appreciate any advice

New on here

replies: 3

My name is Liz , I'm currently 20 years old and I have always had an underlying sense that something about my mental health hasn't been quite right. But just recently in the last few years and especially the past 6-8 months I've been finding that it'... View more

My name is Liz , I'm currently 20 years old and I have always had an underlying sense that something about my mental health hasn't been quite right. But just recently in the last few years and especially the past 6-8 months I've been finding that it's starting to really affect my life and relationships. I can still function day to day and I'm in no way physically unhealthy, but recently I've found that nothing makes me happy, I'm the most irritable I've ever been and I feel like there is no one around me I can talk to. I have developed trust issues with everyone including my partner and family. This isn't something I talk about with anyone openly and I guess what I need is just a bit of guidance and someone to talk to.

Gay?

replies: 6

Okay so this is hard for me to talk about but here it goes. I think I'm gay-that was the first time that thought has left my brain. I was kinda looking for advice from fellow LGBTQ+ people on this topic. While I know there is no way of prooving it I ... View more

Okay so this is hard for me to talk about but here it goes. I think I'm gay-that was the first time that thought has left my brain. I was kinda looking for advice from fellow LGBTQ+ people on this topic. While I know there is no way of prooving it I was just looking for support. so, let me start from the top, I had a crush on a guy. After I while I found out he liked me back but for some reason I was upset not thrilled. Over the next few months I started thinking 'if he asked me out would I say yes?' And would I actually want to date a guy. After some long sleepless nights I realised I wouldn't want to date a guy- that seemed weird. I imagine myself when I'm in my twenties with a girlfriend. here's where it gets more confusing. I've never had a crush on a girl before. But a have a massive crush on a female celebrity around my age. Also I feel dating girls would make me happy but I'm also religious and find myself repressing this part of me. I know this topic is hard to provide answers for but any tips from people who've had these struggles would be much appreciated. One last thing, I would like to say a massive thank you to this extremely supportive community who have helped me so much.

I have nobody

replies: 4

Hi Forum, I'm a 20 year old individual who has been suffering anxiety for about a year now & have resulted in becoming lonely and turned into me also becoming depressed. I used to be an extremely social person, someone who would love to always be out... View more

Hi Forum, I'm a 20 year old individual who has been suffering anxiety for about a year now & have resulted in becoming lonely and turned into me also becoming depressed. I used to be an extremely social person, someone who would love to always be out, be at work and socialise and then at some point things turned.. I quit my job and things seem to have gone down hill and now I feel as if I have no body. I don't really have any interests, so I do not really know what to do with myself, I work part time now. Trying to figure out my future career which is giving me anxiety every day. I have a partner who is a workaholic so I rarely see or speak to him, so I basically feel really lonely. I don't really know what to do anymore. I find it really scary, because I'm concerned I won't be able to get out of this stage, or find my career or anything like that.. I hope I have given enough information!! Any support would be great, thanks everyone.

My boyfriend's mother and my father are together and are treating us badly. How should we deal with this?

replies: 5

I have been diagnosed with severe anxiety and I possibly have depression. My boyfriend and I have been together since June 2015, so almost two years. I am 17 and he has just turned 18. My father and his mother, however, met because of us, and got tog... View more

I have been diagnosed with severe anxiety and I possibly have depression. My boyfriend and I have been together since June 2015, so almost two years. I am 17 and he has just turned 18. My father and his mother, however, met because of us, and got together around December 2016 until March 2017, when they split up as I discovered my father had been speaking to his ex who he has an obsession with (she's 21 years younger than him) after promising that he would never speak to her again as she caused a lot of trouble within our family and his subsequent relationships. So I told my boyfriend's mother, and we had the ex's number and she called her, later to discover that my father, in fact, had been harassing her with endless phone calls for about a week and a half. So she broke up with him, and he became increasingly aggressive towards me, blaming me and my boyfriend (me directly, him indirectly) for what happened, and trying to hurt me physically, while my boyfriend was right there. They were both treating us badly (my father treated me badly, his mother treated him badly) only after they got together. My boyfriend's mother also tends to say things out loud without thinking first. We are in our last year of school and are trying to deal with the stress of upcoming exams that actually count towards our higher school certificate, getting us into university ALONG with our parents' actions. Throughout the breakup, I supported my boyfriend's mother, and have now just recently discovered that they are talking again, and she has started acting horribly towards my boyfriend once again, even over things as little as washing the dishes, telling him that his 13 year old younger brother can have his bedroom and that he can go and live with his father who lives in another state, who hasn't seen him for 11 years (they have only very recently started contacting each other again) just because he refused to wash up after she came in yelling at him, whilst in a phone call to my father. He is quite distressed by this and continually hears her speaking badly about him in phone calls with my father. I moved in with my grandparents (my mother's parents) as I endured years of physical and mental abuse with my mother, although I still see her regularly and have contact with her (we live in the same town). My boyfriend, however, has to endure this for at least another 6 months until we finish school and can move out. Any ideas on what we should do and how we can deal with this?

Whoop Here Comes Depression

replies: 3

Hello all, So last night I had a long overdue shower. I only did it so I wouldn't raise suspicion in the household, I'm just not ready to have that talk with my family yet. Back to the shower, I got to the bathroom, looked in the mirror and cried. I ... View more

Hello all, So last night I had a long overdue shower. I only did it so I wouldn't raise suspicion in the household, I'm just not ready to have that talk with my family yet. Back to the shower, I got to the bathroom, looked in the mirror and cried. I then sat down, cried some more and then I was exhausted but I couldn't leave without the shower. I had never shaken so much without actually been cold. I was so tired and all I had done that day was stay in bed. Nothing external had triggered these events but I just looked in the mirror and knew that I would never heal. It's hard recognising that. Just feeling a bit meh today

Depressed girlfriend is completely ignoring me and it seems as if I'm the only one.

replies: 4

Hey everyone, a few weeks ago, my girlfriend, now ex-girlfriend revealed to me that she suffers from clinical depression and anxiety and wants to put our relationship on hold for now. The reasons she put forth was that she was about to enter an episo... View more

Hey everyone, a few weeks ago, my girlfriend, now ex-girlfriend revealed to me that she suffers from clinical depression and anxiety and wants to put our relationship on hold for now. The reasons she put forth was that she was about to enter an episode and doesn't want it to affect my final year of highschool and she does not want to burden me. I completely respect this decision and made it clear that I will always be available whenever she wants to talk. After this event we only talked occasionally, but then she has begun to completely ignore me. In the few messages and texts I send her way, she reads them yet does not reply. However, she is very active on social media and is constantly in contact with her close friends, and seems to be in a good mood around them. I know she isn't trying to hide the fact she has depression because all her close friends already know. So while she is actively socialising with her friends she is very cold towards me. We both work casual jobs at the same workplace and even when I see her in person she does not acknowledge me, unless it is something work related in which she will reply with one or two word answers. She doesn't even look in my direction. This leads me to believe that it is specifically me she is ignoring and yet I don't know why. It has left me broken and I'm not sure what to think or what to believe. I have thoughts that run through my head that I may have done something and don't know what it is, or if she just wants to break up with me and see someone else without saying it straight up. These thoughts I admit are unhealthy and I brushed them off immediately. I don't want to ask her about it because that would probably make things worse. I'm leaning towards the belief that she just doesn't want to burden me and feels guilty for ignoring me, but I can't help thinking negative thoughts on why she is doing this. I'm just very confused, and I fear that she will never talk to me again, even if it's just as a friend. And I fear that our relationship will never be rekindled. I'm just looking for insight on why she might be doing this, and some advice on what I should do, and if she may one day come back. Thanks everyone.

Lonely lonely lonesome

replies: 3

I'm recently new to this, I don't know where to Turn. I lost my entire group of friends 2 years ago but still haven't been told why which sent me spiralling down year 12/ first year of uni. I took comfort in finding friends at uni but never really ha... View more

I'm recently new to this, I don't know where to Turn. I lost my entire group of friends 2 years ago but still haven't been told why which sent me spiralling down year 12/ first year of uni. I took comfort in finding friends at uni but never really had anyone close enough to me to care really. Found someone who I thought was the love of my life throughout all this hardship probably attracting me more to have someone to depend upon, however we have just recently broken up due to numerous fights about not trusting one another. no one in my family knows what I am experiencing and no one would care nor understand which makes it even harder. I literally feel like it's me against the world and honestly I don't know how much longer I can put on this brace face, seeing friends through other friends instagram and seeing my now ex posing with extremely attractive women on Facebook posts. i literally am so lost within this world because of everything. Before this I felt like I was good and happy and slowly it's been deteriorating to the point I'm not needed anymore on this earth .

i don't know

replies: 1

Lets start at the beggining. I found highschool so stressful (lol like every other teenager ever) there was a lot of pressure on me, put on by my dad and myself. My brother struggled with his schooling his whole life, he's two yrs younger than me but... View more

Lets start at the beggining. I found highschool so stressful (lol like every other teenager ever) there was a lot of pressure on me, put on by my dad and myself. My brother struggled with his schooling his whole life, he's two yrs younger than me but he has always had problems and I was pretty bright as a child so there was a fair bit of pressure for me to be my Dad's 'successor' i guess. So i put ton of pressure on myself all through highschool, developed insane anxiety and suffered my fair share of panic attacks from it. Then i graduated and i felt like a new woman, i thought everything was going to be okay but I found myself more down than ever. I had fake freinds (i have 2 solid good ones but i wasn't seeing them as they moved away), i went to uni to study, i just felt like i HAD to go to uni, I've changed courses 4 times and I ended up finding reasons not to go, little excuses, then i stopped going all together, I lied to my parents (i was still living with them) and pretended i was still going because if i told them i dropped out i'd be dead. Then i started dating my boyfriend, he was amazing, i ditched my fake friends, he made me feel like it was okay not to go to uni and that i would find what i want to do and that it would be okay. So i sucked it up, told my dad, (it was a bad night) but its okay now. However I'm still lost. My boyfriend thinks i am happy and that I am going to be a dental assistant next year (i have no clue what i want to do so i'm still at square 1). Fast forward to now.Things have gotten hard with my partner, we moved in together 7 months ago and we have our moments but lately everything is so hard. He's so cold, he puts me down(i don't know if he means to but regardless, he does) I already felt like a waste of space, I already felt useless but now he makes me feel that way more and more every day. He makes me feel stupid. I feel like he's so emotionless some days that I could disappear and he wouldn't care. He lashes out and says hurtful things,i guess I do too but he handles it (well he seems to) and i don't. I cry. I cry all the time. He is never upset he's only ever mad, always so mad. I just don't know what to do. I sound like that girl who if she came to me i'd say "girl you need to do what's best for you". But i don't want to leave him at all, I love him so much, and i know deep down the problem is with me, its what starts everything, I can't help it. I hate to sound pathetic, but please help me

Pinned discussions

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

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All discussions

So confused and anxious about my relationship in crisis

replies: 9

Lonely reality for a 20 year old

replies: 4

New on here

replies: 3

Gay?

replies: 6

I have nobody

replies: 4

My boyfriend's mother and my father are together and are treating us badly. How should we deal with this?

replies: 5

Whoop Here Comes Depression

replies: 3

Depressed girlfriend is completely ignoring me and it seems as if I'm the only one.

replies: 4

Lonely lonely lonesome

replies: 3

i don't know

replies: 1

Young people

New to this Forum? Please read this first! replies: 0

So confused and anxious about my relationship in crisis replies: 9

Lonely reality for a 20 year old replies: 4

New on here replies: 3

Gay? replies: 6

I have nobody replies: 4

My boyfriend's mother and my father are together and are treating us badly. How should we deal with this? replies: 5

Whoop Here Comes Depression replies: 3

Depressed girlfriend is completely ignoring me and it seems as if I'm the only one. replies: 4

Lonely lonely lonesome replies: 3

i don't know replies: 1

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

So confused and anxious about my relationship in crisis

replies: 9

Lonely reality for a 20 year old

replies: 4

New on here

replies: 3

Gay?

replies: 6

I have nobody

replies: 4

My boyfriend's mother and my father are together and are treating us badly. How should we deal with this?

replies: 5

Whoop Here Comes Depression

replies: 3

Depressed girlfriend is completely ignoring me and it seems as if I'm the only one.

replies: 4

Lonely lonely lonesome

replies: 3

i don't know

replies: 1