Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Depression, anxiety, weight, family, moving

replies: 2

Hi, new member here and have been struggling with depression & anxiety for over 5 years now.. I’m only 20. I don’t really know how to put this in all words but basically I’m so tired of feeling alone, angry, nervous and worthless just about everyday. I’ll start getting so worked up and make myself so angry and upset that I just can’t help but cry, which I then get frustrated with myself for feeling this way over something so silly or nothing at all, which turns into me crying harder and digging my nails into my skin. I live with one of my sisters, her fiancé and two year old son, and I know it’s making my depression so much worse. This house involves arguments everyday between my sister and her partner and a toddler abusing the hell out of me everyday. I’m currently unemployed because I just moved back here again (I’ve moved around so much) and that’s definitely not helping. I’m so scared to tell her that I can’t live here but she got so mad and upset at me the last time I moved away from her. I’ve struggled with my weight for years, I was always a skinny child but in grade 4 or 5 I started to put on weight after we moved states. I then moved different states again in 2009 (grade7), which I then lost the weight. In grade 10 I started to put it back on, that started when I found out we were moving to another town 5/6 hours away and haven’t been able to drop it since. I’m sorry this is long and there is so much more to get out, such my headaches I get everyday, my anger issued mum. My family who are barely altogether at once, that when we are, all there is are arguments, some that have nearly turned to physical violence. I will also tell you that I don’t have any friends, ever since leaving that town in 2013, for some reason can never stay in contact or make a effort anytime i had moved new schools, maybe it’s because I’m so used to moving there was no point. There’s no doubt more but this is too long now. I’m sorry but I just need help before I hit breaking point even more.

I got fired because of my anxiety

replies: 4

I'm 19 and I lost my job in September of last year due to my mental illness. I had a panic attack at work (I struggle with severe anxiety and depression which my boss had known from the beginning) and didn't have the proper medication on me to cope in an emergency. I had been working 40 hours a week, plus study and travel time to and from work so I literally had no time to go to the doctors like I needed to. I worked in child care and as all of the children were asleep inside and I was on my lunch break I figured that the best thing to do would be to go outside, call my mum and try to talk things out and calm down so I could return to work like normal. I was in a pretty severe panic, mainly brought on by a combination of work related things like my boss being extremely unprofessional, leaving me with upwards of 20 children on my own as a trainee, was making me work ridiculous hours without allowing me enough time to get my studies completed, she would tell me to do things a certain way one week and a different way the next which was really confusing as someone that was trying to learn (which was apparently my fault). My mum called my boss just to check up to see if I was okay because she was concerned, only for my boss to then yell at me calling my behaviour inappropriate and that my mum had abused her on the phone (anyone that knows my mum knows that she is one of the kindest and least confrontational people ever) when all she wanted to do was make sure that I was okay. My former boss then went on to completely humiliate me, screaming at me in front of everyone while I was crying, obviously in a panic and was trying so hard to hold myself together (as someone who apparently struggled with anxiety herself, she wasn't so empathetic). She then went on to say I could have the next day off to go the doctor as I explained it was because I didn't have my medication. The next afternoon, she left my a voice mail to tell me I was fired. She had already deleted my work email and I had access to absolutely nothing I had saved. I then received a three page email declaring all of the reasons she was firing me. Most of the reasons were completely false and the rest were twisted to make me look awful. This whole experience has made me feel so insecure about my anxiety and going back into the workforce. Sorry this post is so long.

Boyfriend is going through a Episode/breakdown & pushing me away

replies: 1

My boyfriend and i have been together for nearly 4 years but were best-friends for a long time before our relationship to. we are both 19. My boyfriend is as i said my best-friend and pretty much my only friend. We spend every weekend together since we both work during the week and he works an hour away so he stays with his aunt and uncle. Now just recently this week he started acting strange saying he feels unwell and he came home from work on a tuesday to take the week off to relax. he started finding it really hard to relax and was not thinking right acting confused over the next couple of days it got worse he got more confused his heart was racing he started hearing voices he says and it just got worse from there, i told his family they came and got him and are monitoring him at home apparently he even got aggresive and punched the wall and the police were called. anyways i am suffering with major anxiety depression at the moment about being seperated from him and not being able to talk to him normally, some days he will seem fine and tell me he loves me then the next day he acts cold and seems like hes pushing me away. i feel selfish thinking about myself when its obvious he cant even look after himself at the moment but i am just beside myself with anxious thoughts like him leaving me or this episode or whatever it is, is going to ruin my relationship. i love my boyfriend so much and at the moment i feel so severely depressed and anxious i cant even eat. its so hard to see the person you know and love change like that. i just want everything to be back to normal, i admit i do feel suicidal because without him i feel nothing i feel like i am nothing i cant get myself to do my everyday activities because i cant stop thinking about him he is everything to me. i think i just really need some re assurance from him or his family but im just not getting anywhere. please help me i am beside myself at the moment with worry.

Should I report it as bullying?

replies: 1

Hi I'm having this situation at work with one of the surpviors. They do not treat me like everyone else and humilates me in front of people. When i see them my blood boils. I get angry sometimes I'm called to go to work and I don't want to go because... View more

I just need to vent... I think

replies: 11

Hi, I'm a 23 y.o mum and for all of my life my dad has been a heavy smoker and drinker, it's been taking it toll on his health and last week we found out he had a silent heart attack( didn't get any symptoms)... Anyway, the doctor has ordered him to stop drinking, smoking, driving and working and he also has limited the liquid intake for the next four weeks. My mum told me this morning that dad has completely ignored the advice of the doctor and drove down the street this morning to buy a bottle of wine, smokes and the paper. When they confronted him he laughed it off as "it's not far to drive" and when they took the smokes and alcohol off him he hopped in the car and went and bought more. i don't know what to say or think. He keeps making excuses as to why it's ok. I'm going to see him tomorrow and ask him how he would feel if he hit another car, if he had another attack while driving... And what if that car was me and my little girl and he killed us both, how would he live with that... But he will just find more excuses. I'm so angry and upset with him and I don't know what to say or do. I get he has an addiction and I didn't expect him to totally quit smoking and drinking instantly... But they driving has really annoyed me. Sorry, I don't know why I've posted I'm just upset.

chronic anxiety and paranoia (imagining things) .. I don't know how to get help

replies: 1

So this is my first time posting anything so please forgive me for anything I say wrong. But I've been suffering from chronic depression, PTSD from being abused and chronic anxiety. When I was younger I used to have nightmares, and I'd believe "ghost" or "spirits" would torture me, then I grew up and never really thought about it. I've started getting real help for my mental health with depression/ptsd/anxiety but due to financial stress I can no longer afford to see my psychologist. Lately I've been suffering from insomnia during the night, I'll sleep for 1 hour in the morning (daylight), so this is driving me crazy because I'm being tortured by my childhood "ghosts" I have never been so afraid. I have constant paranoia of hearing things and imagining someone breaking in and doing something horrifying. I see things in the dark. I don't know what's happening to me but I'm scared and I don't know how to ask for help because I know I sound crazy, I know there is absolutely nothing there but I can't convince my mind otherwise. I'm genuinely scared for my life when it's happening. Please help!

Friendship anxiety.

replies: 2

So I've always seen myself as a good, nice person, as have many others. But some recent events have made me feel like I am becoming a bad person. Late last year, I found out a 'friend' of mine had been lying to my face about multiple things. She catfished my other friend for over a year, she talked about me behind my back, and she outed me to some people I wasn't comfortable with. All while pretending to be my friend. I realised this, but the next day she was sleeping over at my house, so I pretended to be friends with her, while being really upset and talking about her behind her back. Eventually, I stopped talking to her, and originally, I felt really good about it. After not talking to her, I received some threatening messages from her, saying nasty things like I was fake, etc... So I cried. A lot. Because it hurt to have someone I was so previously close with say all those things about me. I felt so bad about myself, and I really wasn't sure who was in the wrong. I did a lot of petty things, however, like smile at her condescendingly when she was glaring at her, using not-so-nice nicknames (rospo - it means toad in Italian) and just straight up didn't talk to her. Two months later, I still freak out whenever I see her and have trouble saying her name. My friends are telling me to let it go but it's really not that easy. She hurt me a lot and I don't know whether my anxiety is justified by what she did, or if I'm letting her to get to me too much. Theres still a part of my that wants to be her friend, and I know I shouldn't. I feel like a really bad person for just leaving her to fend for herself, but at the same time I feel like she deserves it, and then I feel bad for not feeling bad. Can anyone help me? Just let me know whether my actions and feeling are justified? Whether I'm becoming bad? Thanks guys.

sad and lonely

replies: 2

Mums sick dont know how to cope... Only have 19yr old brother. Crying constantly for hours

SO ALONE AND LONELY

replies: 1

I need help asap please! 18yo girl with depression & anxiety. My family has gone to Japan for 2 weeks without me (my choice) so I am home alone. My boyfriend was supposed to stay with me every night because I am too scared to sleep alone. BUT the time my family happened to go away just happened to be the time when he and his dad go to Sydney for this car race thing, which we didn't figure out until a few months ago (nothing anyone could do). I struggle with being alone as I find when I'm alone I let my anxieties in. It's been a week and my bf and I were together 24/7, until he left last night. I was absolutely fine the whole week (even proud of how happy I was). I slept at a friends house but I was up from 2-5:30am crying because I felt lonely. My mum and my boyfriend are the people I talk about my anxiety too and I am close to them. Yesterday my mum made a comment about how I was looking fat in the face on FaceTime and it upset me. Today I have been home alone and I have been crying all day. I feel so isolated and alone right now. I just had a panic attack and I couldn't control it myself so I messaged my boyfriend which I didn't want to do and he helped calm me down. But now I feel super guilty. I didn't want to message him because he is away having a good time, enjoying his time away from me and my anxiety, and I imagine when I messaged about my panic attack that he was drinking with his dad/'the boys' and rolled his eyes thinking 'oh here we go'. I understand that, bc my anxiety can get annoying but I also get upset that he gets annoyed at my anxiety (which he does and he has told me truthfully that he does but it's because he doesn't understand and he is trying to understand). After I told my bf I was having a panic attack he didn't reply for 10mins, I feel like such a burden/annoyance to him rn. I can't talk to my mum because she is most likely stressed in Japan because she gets that way about overseas holidays, and I know if I tell her I'm upset she will worry about me and it will ruin her trip. So now I feel like I have no one to talk to. I have one friend I feel like I can talk to about anxiety but she is at a concert. I can't talk about it with my other friends unfortunately. My cousin is coming over for a sleepover after work at 9pm but until then I am scared I will have another panic attack I can't control as I feel so alone, isolated and lonely. I don't want to have to ruin my boyfriend or my mum's trip so I need help on what to do please! THX

Completely lost and deflated

replies: 2

Hello, I made a post ages ago talking about how I felt numb and all, and well, it has gotten much worse since then. Everyday I wake up feeling extremely numb, feeling no excitement to see friends, go to school or anything. Voices in my head torment me with horrible thoughts to do with these numb feelings like "you don't like your friends anymore, you are so lonely". I get these constantly and it kills me. I feel so apathetic about life too now. I just started year 12 this year and I couldn't care about my results or anything to do with school or future life. I recently told my parents I'd rather sit home and not do anything with my life, because that's how I feel. They got extremely mad at me, and I feel no support from them whatsoever. They never ask how I am, they don't listen to me when I try to tell them how I feel. They did organize for me to see a psychologist and I have been seeing them for a few months but it's not helping. I feel like I've gotten all the help I can get yet nothings working. They said I'm heading towards anti-depressants, which I'm even more worried about. I feel so disconnected from everyone. I don't want to and I never have but I do, and I don't know what to do about it. I'm scared of losing people in my life, simply because of these numb feelings and voices trying to put a reason as to why I'm feeling this way. I don't enjoy life at all anymore, I feel like I'm just an empty shell, feeling nothing and just doing things because I have to. I don't care about anything or anyone anymore. Not many people ask how I am, probably because I am good at putting on a mask. I feel so unsupported and hated by my family, there was already so much conflict within the family and now it's just worse. I'm used to just locking myself in my room and doing nothing, but enjoying getting away from it. I have the desire to reconnect with some people, but the voices and the numb feelings make me doubt myself and doubt everything in my life. One minute I feel like I'm certain I like my friends and I want to spend time with them and next moment I feel like I don't want to see them ever again. I'm just putting my feelings down here, I don't know, there is no order to it. I'm just so lost and upset but so empty

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Depression, anxiety, weight, family, moving replies: 2

I got fired because of my anxiety replies: 4

Boyfriend is going through a Episode/breakdown & pushing me away replies: 1

Should I report it as bullying? replies: 1

I just need to vent... I think replies: 11

chronic anxiety and paranoia (imagining things) .. I don't know how to get help replies: 1

Friendship anxiety. replies: 2

sad and lonely replies: 2

SO ALONE AND LONELY replies: 1

Completely lost and deflated replies: 2