hey all, I've struggled with mental health issues for as long as i
remember, i've seen countless psychiatrists and psychologists but never
anyone for an extended period of time. when i was younger while i
battled with depression and anxiety i still m...
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hey all, I've struggled with mental health issues for as long as i
remember, i've seen countless psychiatrists and psychologists but never
anyone for an extended period of time. when i was younger while i
battled with depression and anxiety i still managed to hold down full
time jobs and had some semblance of a "normal" life albeit struggling
all the while but over the past 10 years i have spiralled terribly to
the point where i am no longer functioning on even a normal level. i
have a lot of childhood trauma going on, have been diagnosed with major
depression/anxiety when i was younger and took medication for a number
of years but i took myself off them.. then 10 years ago after some major
upheavals in my life i ended up in a psych ward for 8 weeks and being
diagnosed with dysthymia along with major depressive episodes. since
then i have had about 8 hospital stays and received a bunch of diagnoses
to go along with it. it seems like i received a different diagnosis
every time i saw someone different in the hospital setting. so now I've
been diagnosed with dysthymia, adjustment disorder, BPD, depression,
anxiety, PTSD, dependent personality disorder, avoidance issues and god
knows what else. worst of all though is i have developed a reputation
for being non-compliant with treatment. I was on a wait list for DBT
through my local hospital/mental health team but when i didnt show up
for a couple of psych appointments they took me off the list. During the
past 10 years I've been homeless for much of this time, going from
sleeping in parks to crisis accommodation, to renting rooms off people
but ive never been able to get my foot up and out of this whole
situation and honestly i doubt i ever will anymore. For the past 2 years
ive been living in a homeless shelter - the support workers have kept me
here because they just don't know what to do for me. (i've moved in and
out of the same place 3 times before that as well) my life has been
chaos for so long i have gotten to the point where i have totally given
up on it altogether. i havent shaved or showered in months now, have
isolated so badly that i have literally no contact with the outside
world other than doctors appointments to get scripts filled, to pay rent
or to walk to the local service station for cigarettes and ice coffee. i
am literally just existing in a perpetual state of nothing but i have no
idea where or how to get the help i need. where do i even start to work
on my issue?