Therapist breakup - should I or shouldn’t I?
- replies: 3
Hey, first time poster here looking for some support as I’m struggling. I’ve been seeing my psychologist for a few years now and found our work together to be really helpful for the most part. I’ve been seeking treatment for anxiety with origins in m... View more
Hey, first time poster here looking for some support as I’m struggling. I’ve been seeing my psychologist for a few years now and found our work together to be really helpful for the most part. I’ve been seeking treatment for anxiety with origins in my childhood, in particular my relationships with my parents. It has been a big deal for me to open up to someone about this stuff. About a year ago my therapist announced she was taking about 9 months off to have a baby and would not know her availability when she returned to work as she needed to prioritise childcare. Logically I got it, but emotionally I was devastated. With the uncertainty surrounding if/ when she would return to work, it made it difficult for me to know where I stood. She did return to work recently (at reduced hours) and I’ve been a little hesitant to return to therapy straight away. I’ve had about three sessions with her since she’s returned to work and things are different. She’s increased her fees significantly and has implemented kind of a harsh policy where clients need to commit to fortnightly sessions, need to pay half the fee in advance as a deposit, and give her 1 week’s notice of cancellation or they lose that deposit. I’m not financially equipped to commit to fortnightly sessions right now, and I’m unsure if jumping back into fortnightly sessions is even right for me at this stage. I would rather build back up slowly to where we were at before she went on leave and I think that is going to take time. I’ve tried to discuss my concerns with her and she’s been responding in ways that to me feel really rigid and defensive, like “this is how I need to run my business, that’s just the reality” and “is it hard for you that this baby comes first?” (That one seemed so strange to me). So the choice she’s given me is I can either go on a cancellation list for sporadic appointments here and there, or I can commit to fortnightly sessions and enter into a payment plan. It makes me feel like I’m not a priority and could easily get into debt. After seeing her look at the clock about 5 times during our last session together, I just can’t help but feel that her focus is elsewhere. I truly value all the work we’ve done together over the years and all the progress she’s helped me to make. I’m just having the thought that I might need something different than what she can provide now. Am I being unreasonable? Why is this so upsetting? Have you ever “broken up” with your therapist? What was it like?
