Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Tips to survive when feeling suicidal - please share

replies: 17

Hi all. I've been suicidal for quite a while and I know it's excruciatingly difficult. My 15 hospital visits in a two year period with 4 intake to the acute (voluntary) mental health ward suggests I might know a bit about it. I'd like to think so anyway. What I'd like to do (if moderators allow) is for each and every one of you on here who is suicidal, has been suicidal, might become suicidal - to please name and list your coping mechanisms. The reason I am starting this thread is because the standard "mental health plan" via Drs didn't work for me (I still encourage others to do it definitely) and had to make my own plans that suited me. I'll start and I hope others contribute as this isn't about me, it's about what we can share to help others in that moment (yes, anyone suicidal knows that moment) I personally now: 1. put a light on if it's dark. Darkness scares me. If I feel panic the light is on immediately. 2. put a movie on. Even if it's 5am like now it goes on to distract me and even searching for a movie helps 3. plan a new hobby. Even if it doesn't eventuate, just getting excited on something other than self misery helps me. I've planned many overseas trips that haven't eventuated but it helped me. 4. never respond or engage with toxic people. Whether it be social media, family (in my case) or friends. If not positive or understand to a basic level leave it immediately - this takes courage and harsh, but if they are toxic they are no good for you. 5. financially ease your burden as much as possible. Unless a millionaire we all struggle, but paying for things you don't need causes further stress. Cut them and put money elsewhere or save. That's just my 5 for now but I'd love to hear more on how you have coped. I'm still a massive work in progress and we are all learning together. Chris

Miss

replies: 2

How do you get help when no one wants to help me with this issue

Idle ponderings - no suicide attempts

replies: 3

I spent most of my life, up to the age of 52, wanting my existence to end. I still believe that I never went though with a suicide attempt because of my fear of failure. I've done a mental health first aid course and know that I'm supposed to avoid using words like "failure" and "success", but that's how I think of it (sorry). Now to my pondering or thinking out loud. I wonder whether the severity of my depression actually saved me? That is, I was so depressed that success seemed like an impossible outcome - I'd find a way to screw up my plan(s) somehow. Did my not taking action increase my depression and make suicide seem even more impossible to me? Was this one of my mind's ways of protecting me? Thank you, mind.

will it ever get better

replies: 2

I'm sick of feeling depressed, people not understanding esp at work. I'm sick of this shitty life and feeling like I haven't achieved enough or I'm not good enough. I don't know what direction to head into. I've been gradually getting worse for the past year. Four years ago I was removed from one work area to another. I got talked into it and have regretted ever since. Now I'm stuck in customer service - an area I hate and which brings back bad memories from 20 years ago. In late 2021 I was given another task which means dealing with even more difficult customers. I then had a car accident last year in which someone passed away (not my fault). Ever since then I find I can't cope as well. I have sent about 2-3 emails to my manager saying how i don't fit in, there is no support, I hate my job and I regretted moving - usually when I'm at my lowest and feeling suicidal. Nothing gets done. The last time HR was called in - nothing done again. They don't want to accept any responsibility for putting me in this situation. I was told not to send any more emails or speak about how I feel to my supervisor, that I'm stressing everyone out and I'm too hard on everyone (this was the first time I heard of this). They just want to blame me. I'm stuck as I don't have the mental strength right now to find a job elsewhere. I also don't know what to do with my life. Last week they advertised another position at a higher level in my area. I decided after trying to motivate myself, I will apply for the job as I think I could exceed in the role. However, when I asked my supervisor if she could be my referee, instead of being supportive she questioned why I would want to apply. It felt so obvious that she would want anyone else in the job except me. She ended the conversation by saying that everyone is welcomed to apply. All day I was building myself up to write the selection criteria. I actually thought my supervisor would have expected me to apply. It was a shock that she felt differently. Work insisted I see a psychologist which has made me financially worse off. I have been spending/shopping far too much in the last year just to make me feel better but now I feel even more depressed. I really am struggling how to get out of this as I'm feeling even more depressed and suicidal. I was first diagnosed when I was 20 and I've had this for 30 years. I'm over it and I think everyone else around me has had enough too.

NOT important just looking for advice

replies: 3

Hi all! So recently (like a week ago on Monday) I found out that someone I have been becoming friends with has been self harming. Turns out he has a kind of abusive father who gave him a lot of crap. This really made me sad as he is a really good person, but on Tuesday I accidentally found out that his recent ex-girlfriend that he is still close friends with also has some cuts. He broke up with her because he liked her best friend (they are dating now, ex-Gf still likes the other boy). She hadn’t told her best friend about her self harming yet and I didn’t want to confront her about it so I left it. Later that day she told one of her most trusted friends. I was glad that she told someone, but I also felt bad that I had left her alone. I have been struggling with depressed thoughts since the start of this year but I don’t want to ask if I can take a test. This situation just tipped me over a barrier and I started self-harming myself as well. I blame myself for my friends situation and I feel guilty about not asking her about it when I found out. I told my youth group leader on Friday and they told me to tell my parents, but I don’t think it is that bad and I was getting better, but on Friday night I just had a huge mental breakdown and I was so panicked that he was going to tell my mum that I didn’t know what to do. Talking here with BeyondBlue has really helped me so far but if you guys had any advice for this situation I would greatly appreciate it. thanks, Anonymous

Anxiety around phobia of vomiting = self harm

replies: 1

I have emetephobia and my child is I’ll and this is the second time In a month, lots of anxiety and triggers and I’ve self harmed to relive my anxiety. Emergency dept has a long wait time and husband cool as a cucumber. I am NOT suicidal

No idea on new site

replies: 2

Yes a bad day. I don't know how to post in the new forum but I'm Noble in good place. Good luck all, stay safe. Chris

I hate this life

replies: 1

Been here a few times, only back because I'm distressed again. I'm a massive theme park enthusiast and have been a member of a theme park site called Parkz, over the past few months it feels like I've simply hounded, you state your opinion on something and it turns into a giant argument, I had to constantly defend myself. 2 days ago, I cracked a joke, and accidentally made a typo, I was hounded for that, had someone say my half of my content is a waste and that it's annoying to read, in other words was called annoying. I reached the end and threatened suicide, a few hours later police knock on my door to check on me. I vented yesterday to parkz, about this saying the bullying on here is horrible and that parkz almost killed me, if it wasn't for police I don't know if I would be here. Obviously the mods of parkz pulled it down pretty quick, banned me indefinitely from parkz, which is fine because I wasn't coming back and instead of thinking parkz might be the problem the asshole moderator, simple stated to "please get help, parkz can't help you, we can't have you continuing here." And gave me lifelines stupid number, which is useless. Immediately saying I'm the problem, yeah I have depression, but for months I've been happy I've been good, for the first time in years. I come back to Parkz, and my mental plummets, coincidence I think not. It's a common saying on that site to have thick skin, and not be sensitive, why would that be? you get my point. They did this to me, they made me want to commit suicide again, and still I want to die. I've been through enough in this world, been bullied like crazy throughout my school years, even by some teachers, why because I was autistic, or as they said spastic. Lost a really good mate of mine to an accident, last thing I ever said to him was drop dead, because we got in an argument. I had a cousin who I considered my brother, turns out he stabbed me in the back, lied used me, got about $5000 out of me, but worst of all he raped a mutual family friends daughter, twice, and almost did it a third time. I was left broken after it. I could go on, but there's no point. Finally I break free and start to feel happy again, and get back involved in something I like, now I'm back here, and I have a difficult moderator basically saying it's your fault, nothing to do with parkz. Anyway that's my vent.

Too gutless to kill myself, Too terrified to live.

replies: 15

Hi, my name is Melissa. I am a 51 year old mother of 3.I joined a while ago, but never really posted or read anything until now, tbh trying to work out how to use the forums is a bit confusing. So here I am introducing myself. Late teens was when I first started suffering from Clinical Depression, but I had no idea what was going on. When I finished Hight School and started working Anxiety and Panic Attacks reared their ugly heads. Then at 25 I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, I started working as a clerk in a Hospital Emergency, and whilst there my antidepressants were changed and when i wheined off the first one brand I suffered my first nervous breakdown at 29. Then had 2 more in the next few years. In 2006, my husband and I lost our 2nd child, a son. I hit rock bottom and can't remember the next 3 months. I spent the next 11 years being alive but not really living, then in 2017, when things were going well I enrolled to become a nail technician. I was so excited I felt like I could really make a change. then 5 weeks into the course within 3 days, we had handed over a child we were kinship caring for and had for 4 years (there was major issues with the people handling our fostering setup) and my mother had passed away. It's 5 years later and I am broken, I can't work because I have no self esteem, confidence. I am so lonely because I live in a town without family, which I have cut myself off from. I have no friends because I know no one to go anywhere with to meet to new people. NOT that I really even believe that I am worth while anyone getting to know me. I am stuck because I am too gutless to kill myself and too terrified to try living. Apologies for the post.Thanks for readingMelissa PS. I would never try to kill myself, I couldn't do that to my kids.

Feeling like I'm stuck

replies: 3

Not sure if I am after any advice but I am more expressing my feelings.... I never thought I would be one of the people who had thought about suicide. The past few years have been rough, and I suffer from depression, anxiety and PTSD.I feel as I only am living for my children. They are the reason I am still here. I mainly worry about what would happen to them if I was gone and that has kept me alive.I'm worried that when they get older, they won't need me anymore and I won't have a reason to stay.I can't tell my husband about this or anyone in my life as everyone has their own struggles, and I don't want anyone to feel like they aren't good enough or doing enough to give me a reason to stay.I have no interest in hobbies anymore, nothing that brings me joy. I am always painting a happy face for my family, but it is exhausting.I have come to the point where I envision myself getting sick terminally, so I can finally go, and my family won't blame themselves. If I was to be in a situation where I am dying, I wouldn't fight.I don't know what to do, Drs don't really help to much and I'm terrified of being committed away from my family or being labelled.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Tips to survive when feeling suicidal - please share replies: 17

Miss replies: 2

Idle ponderings - no suicide attempts replies: 3

will it ever get better replies: 2

NOT important just looking for advice replies: 3

Anxiety around phobia of vomiting = self harm replies: 1

No idea on new site replies: 2

I hate this life replies: 1

Too gutless to kill myself, Too terrified to live. replies: 15

Feeling like I'm stuck replies: 3