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Sophie_M Sleep and Mental Health
  • replies: 0

Many of us have struggled with bouts of troubled sleep, and needless to say, these periods of nocturnal restlessness can be utterly overwhelming and exhausting. Sleeplessness can filter into every aspect of our lives: our ability to be present, remem... View more

Many of us have struggled with bouts of troubled sleep, and needless to say, these periods of nocturnal restlessness can be utterly overwhelming and exhausting. Sleeplessness can filter into every aspect of our lives: our ability to be present, remember things, regulate our emotions, or to feel excited and energised… it can change the way we think and feel in such a significant and impactful way. Whether it’s due to big life changes, global pandemics, financial or work stressors, health concerns (like menopause), how much ‘you’ time you have, or even unprocessed emotions you weren’t aware were there – so many things can impact how you sleep. All of this goes to show that not only do your daily habits, routines, and experiences play a huge role in maintaining healthy sleep cycles, but so does your mental health. And frustratingly enough, your sleep also impacts and informs your mental health and daily habits. Like most things, it’s a very easy cycle to fall into. So, it’s imperative that we are gentle and compassionate with ourselves on our journey to understanding what is making us so hypervigilant and unable to rest in the first place. Studies show that journaling or mindfulness practices throughout the day, healthy food, movement, sunshine, connection with loved ones, and support from health professionals can help us to feel more grounded and able to rest. But we are curious… what has worked for you? When do you notice that your sleep is most affected vs. when you get the best rest? And is there a way you could practice regulating your nervous system more throughout the day to help promote better sleep at night? We would love to hear your thoughts! Let us know if you have any questions and be sure to check out our page on ‘Sleep and Mental Health’ for more guidance and insight into a more supported and restful night’s sleep: Sleep and mental health - Beyond Blue - Beyond Blue Looking forward to hearing from you! Kind regards, Sophie M

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Adylia How does your workplace work for your anxiety/depression?
  • replies: 3

I am currently jobless and considering a change in career as the industry I am trained for does not allow ANY room for modified workload as stress is a big trigger for me. My biggest problems are communicating with strangers, phone calls and "on the ... View more

I am currently jobless and considering a change in career as the industry I am trained for does not allow ANY room for modified workload as stress is a big trigger for me. My biggest problems are communicating with strangers, phone calls and "on the spot" thinking (things that make you feel like a chef with 2,840 orders at once). I have taken so many days off for depression - needing to sleep, adjusting to medications, and in an industry where it is 'all or nothing' I just can't do it anymore. Focus on the good stuff right - I am good at listening. I enjoy tasks where I can zone out. On the negative side, my medications have a requirement of no strenuous activity - otherwise I would consider cleaning. So to all those fellow sufferers out there, how do you make your work life suit your emotional needs? What sort of job are you in? How do you approach your boss about work being an issue with mental illnesses? Do you have any hints or tips to newbies like me? Thanks in advance.

MissBenthos Existential Crissis
  • replies: 14

I have been well for over a year now - depression and anxiety free. I have a great job, plenty of friends, am now engaged to my long time partner, I have a volunteer job, I'm still taking medication and am still seeing my psychologist once a month. B... View more

I have been well for over a year now - depression and anxiety free. I have a great job, plenty of friends, am now engaged to my long time partner, I have a volunteer job, I'm still taking medication and am still seeing my psychologist once a month. Basically I can't see anything wrong with my life. So I don't understand why I still question what the point in life is. I frequently wonder what my purpose is and find it hard to set goals. How can I find meaning in life? I don't feel passionate about anything and I don't know what else I can try?

annie_pannanny I need sleep! Suggestions please
  • replies: 2

So, I want some advice, tips, ideas on the best ways people have found to get some sleep without medication. I’m having a hard time getting any sleep at all. It’s been days. What are some ways you get to sleep? I’m open to natural therapies as well.

So, I want some advice, tips, ideas on the best ways people have found to get some sleep without medication. I’m having a hard time getting any sleep at all. It’s been days. What are some ways you get to sleep? I’m open to natural therapies as well.

PBelle Weird thread about dreams..... who thinks that they have meaning?
  • replies: 4

Ok, so a bit of an interesting topic here, but I have always thought that there is something out there. Spiritual like, things happen for a reason, right? So I have a question about dreams. When you dream of weird things that you remember, do you thi... View more

Ok, so a bit of an interesting topic here, but I have always thought that there is something out there. Spiritual like, things happen for a reason, right? So I have a question about dreams. When you dream of weird things that you remember, do you think they have meaning? Last year, when I had lots of troubles, I kept having dreams about fire, danger, all scary situations. And I looked them up on the net and I could see how they were linking. I also dreamt of doors being closed, me pushing my way through. I haven't had those dreams in a couple of months, but last night I was dreaming of the toilet and water seeping, then dripping from the roof. According the net, dreaming of the toilet means the possibility to get rid of a negative situation, move on from a problem and water is emotions, specifically, leaking water is supposed to signify emotional energy being used unwisely through anxiety or fear. When you read it, it seems to have meaning. Things have changed for me from bottling things up to letting it out .I have started to talk about things. Maybe the dream does has some meaning? Is my subconscious telling me something? What do you guys think? Anyone else ever had weird dreams that.

SubduedBlues The enemy of my enemy is my friend... or is it?
  • replies: 12

In battle, there is an aged old saying: "The enemy of my enemy is my friend." This means that there is military advantage to form alliance with your first enemies other enemies; so that together you can conquer your first enemy. Recently there has be... View more

In battle, there is an aged old saying: "The enemy of my enemy is my friend." This means that there is military advantage to form alliance with your first enemies other enemies; so that together you can conquer your first enemy. Recently there has been discussion about healthy eating and being healthy. But oftentimes I find that eating healthy and regular exercise does not result in being a healthy weight. Another great saying that I once heard is: "nothing is more unequal than the equal treatment of unequal's," which basically means that there is no one solution fixes every problem. So telling me to not eat the sugars I don't eat, or to cut back on the processed food I don't eat, doesn't really teach me anything. It's like you are telling me to make my water wet. Hmm... maybe best to look at "Why do I have Fat?" A current reality tree (CRT) is a way of analyzing many systems or organizational problems at once. By identifying root causes common to most or all of the problems, a CRT can greatly aid focused improvement of the system. So if the system is my body, I should be able to use a CRT to find the cause of Fat. I eat healthy and I exercise regularly, both of which do not lend themselves to having Fat, so it must be something else. What about volumes? Can too much healthy foods make you fat; possibly. Eating too much healthy food makes you fat. So, according to the CRT, my problem is eating too much. So I tried to eat single servings instead of double-triple serves, but Fat stays with me. And I need to get rid of this enemy called Fat. So, if my enemy is Fat. And, Fat's enemy is skinny. Then Skinny is my friend. So how do I get Skinny? If I ate how Skinny eats, would I not just be jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire? So many questions, no real answers

FrankA It's the climb...long term maintenance of multiple chronic illness.
  • replies: 3

It has been over twelve months between posts and the journey has been a difficult one. I orginally posted about my PTSD and questionable bipolar dignosis. I suffered acute liver failure caused by an antidepressant. I have chronic anxiety, depressive ... View more

It has been over twelve months between posts and the journey has been a difficult one. I orginally posted about my PTSD and questionable bipolar dignosis. I suffered acute liver failure caused by an antidepressant. I have chronic anxiety, depressive disorder, PTSD, PMDD, and fybromyalgia. As best I can I manage my illness with exercise diet and medication. I dont drink alcohol or use illegal drugs. Due to my transplant, I have practiced alot of mindfulness, meditation and other relaxation techniques. It is hard to grieve the loss of a person you will never know, yet they are your lifesaving hero. For the most, I go ok. My PMDD plays havoc with my mind in the days leading up to menstruaion. These days are psychologically impossible. It is a real battle between the gratitude of life and the self destructive thoughts associated with PMDD. Throw in the chronic fatigue, pain other symptoms of fybro, plus the dynamics of IBS ( developing after my stoma was reversed in Apil 2017), the maintenance becomes a way of life. I am finding today hard. Fybro is very active, bought on by stress. Stress comes from the pain and fatigue and anxiety that the symptoms are impacting my liver. I can normally ride this but the PMDD plus the stress of my brother is overwhelming. My brother has been psychiatric care since 23rd Dec, without improvement. My parents are his carers but is having an exhaustive emotional strain on all of my family. Too sum it up... It's the climb!

white knight The heart of the matter
  • replies: 5

As a young home mechanic I had a problem with my car years ago. It had a vibration at 80kph and was irritating. So on a weekend I swapped wheels, got them rebalanced, tightened the steering box, had one tyre replaced etc. The problem got worse. So ev... View more

As a young home mechanic I had a problem with my car years ago. It had a vibration at 80kph and was irritating. So on a weekend I swapped wheels, got them rebalanced, tightened the steering box, had one tyre replaced etc. The problem got worse. So eventually I took it to a good mechanic. "How many hours did you spend on this trying to find the problem?" he asked. "20 hours over two days I replied, why how long did you take"?..."2 minutes" he replied. He'd put the car on a hoist and turned the tailshaft and found slop in a joint. $120 and I was on my way. Another example of this. At around 13yo onwards I was over sensitive. Unlike other boys I'd cry at the drop of a hat. "You are just growing up Tony" said my wonderful father. So I waited to grow up emotionally and that didn't start to happen until medication for dysthymia and bipolar kicked in at 56yo!! During those painful 43 years there were attempts to find help like mentioning it to marriage counselor or therapists...but no one detected a serious illness was at the core of the problem..."you are just an emotional person" Both examples are from incorrect diagnosis or no diagnosis. Both examples are not consulting the correct professional to seek out what was at the - "heart of the matter" Such actions are skirting around an issue. In the case of the car repair, my other "remedies" caused other problems. The steering box that I tightened up should not have been touched, the replacement of the tyre was unnecessary as was the rebalance. All in all it cost me heaps of money and two weekend days I could have spent camping. If we arrive in a town and we need food we attend a supermarket, meat maybe a butcher, fuses an auto shop and gas cylinder a camping store. Yet if we have serious mental health problems we cross our fingers and hope it goes away. We talk to others that likely haven't had mental health issues in their lives let alone advise on. For some reason some of us want to know the answer even asking here on this forum before attending a GP. The only valid reason could be financial. It's great asking us for we could tell you of similar experiences but it is better to automatically go to a GP first as he/she is the professional in that field. We can run around the Mulberry bush looking for reasons our mental health is showing symptoms. By consulting a GP and following their direction we are no longer playing this meaningless guessing game....we are getting the heart of the matter. Tony WK

Bethie H.A.L.T
  • replies: 4

Hi I just thought I'd share this because it is simple but a good guide to let me know why I at times feel worse than others. H...hungry A....angry L...lonely T...tired If 2 of these things is happening I tend to be a bit out of sorts. If 3 is happeni... View more

Hi I just thought I'd share this because it is simple but a good guide to let me know why I at times feel worse than others. H...hungry A....angry L...lonely T...tired If 2 of these things is happening I tend to be a bit out of sorts. If 3 is happening it is basically a big red stop sign. If all 4 well I know I'm in trouble and need to interact all my support fast. Hope this helps others as well

white knight SILENCE- The bad and the good
  • replies: 9

There is not many more effective tools of trade for a nasty person than- silence. I’m an expert, not of using silence as a weapon, but of being the victim. My ex wife was raised by a mother that did cruel things, stole her pocket money, elbowed her a... View more

There is not many more effective tools of trade for a nasty person than- silence. I’m an expert, not of using silence as a weapon, but of being the victim. My ex wife was raised by a mother that did cruel things, stole her pocket money, elbowed her as she walked along the hallway, read her diary etc to the extent that one day as a teenager she decided that her mother could do anything to her but she would never be able to penetrate her mind. This determination and toleration led to my ex wife to develop the perfect defence mechanism which over time she ended up using as part of our daily lives in our marriage. Any objection, raising of the voice, disapproval, disagreeing…anything- led to silence. After 7 years of such behaviour I realised, after our many counselling sessions, that this would not abate. It was me that had to change, change by not having any anger, showing disappointment, etc. Sadly as divorced parents the same problem continued when trying to discuss our childrens needs. Any discussion was decided upon on her terms. There are positives in everything if we look hard enough. Silence means no arguments! One day my eldest daughter at 16yo was distressed about something. She didn’t like a restriction I put in place. She ran off towards a creek. I followed about 50 metres away. She sat at waters edge and cried for about 2 hours. She kept glancing at me as I sat and waited, not a word. Finally she walked up to me and said “why are you here”. I opened my arms. Job done, all good. Love needs no words. In my many jobs I’ve found silence is an art form. In the workplace you often get the ladder climbers, seeking promotion or just bosses approval by mentioning their achievements. Yet, when I finally became a supervisor I preferred the worker that solved issues themselves without mentioning them. The silent achiever was more preferable than the boaster. As I was the talkative type I had to constantly remind myself that rapid and continuous talking wasn’t ideal in a populated workplace. It just doesn’t fit in with the complex array of personalities. A talker finds chatting natural so its not easy being "quiet" but it can be beneficial. Silence can be cruel. Sometimes it is necessary in order to move on from a toxic relationship. But as adults we should not use it as a means to hurt others only used to distance oneself from others or from topics of controversy. Even then, it is right to communicate firmly and concisely….in a humane way. Tony WK

DJPTigerland140414 Officially giving up the drink!
  • replies: 6

It doesnt matter if you dont drink for 2 days or 2 years some people and alcohol were not supposed to go together and i am certainly one of those people. We tell ourselves justifications etc to have another drink but it always seem to end up the same... View more

It doesnt matter if you dont drink for 2 days or 2 years some people and alcohol were not supposed to go together and i am certainly one of those people. We tell ourselves justifications etc to have another drink but it always seem to end up the same way. The morning after the negative thoughts and feelings kick into overdrive and its a feeling i wouldnt wish on anyone else. I spoke to my wife about it and its time i give the drink up completly as all it does is feed my depression like a starving junkyard dog. If i want to move forward i need to divorce myself from alcohol for the long term. I didnt even make a fool out of myself for once which is rare but still these thoughts and feelings were waiting for me when i opened my eyes to face the day. I used to think i drank because thats what young people do at the age of 18 and i believed this for 8 long years. I soon realised i was drinking to cover up my low self esteem and lack of confidence in my self. Drinking gives you unlimited confidence until you pass out or wake up the next morning. Im not dismissing alcohol completly as some people can control it as they control over their mind and thoughts where as i dont have that ability unfortunatly i needed to make the tough decision. Whatever it may be in life we come to a cross roads and need to make a call to better ourselves. I feel relieved to be honest in making this decision because i know it will only benefit me in my daily struggle with depression. Im naturally an anti social person and alcohol was my tool to being social if only for a 24 hour period. I will need to develop other ways to improve my social skills. Its easy to say i will never drink again but when you actually mean it and realise within yourself that this time you mean it is a big step forward well it is for me. My advice for anyone is if your not using the drink for the right reasons such as to mask other issues or getting over life experiences etc seek help and talk to someone before it can begin to take over your life. Happy new year!