Staying well

Do you find that drinking certain hot beverages reduces symptoms of depression and anxiety?

replies: 4

I had taken to drinking hot coffee at least once every day. I suffer from depression and anxiety, all caused by a psychotic illness. There are times during the day or night when I get really anxious over the future - such as how I'll manage living in... View more

I had taken to drinking hot coffee at least once every day. I suffer from depression and anxiety, all caused by a psychotic illness. There are times during the day or night when I get really anxious over the future - such as how I'll manage living independently away from the parents, the risk of homelessness (I'm on a low income with no support from extended family or friends), and also the fact that one day I may wake up and discover I have no family. For about an hour or so, I suffer from these thoughts. Then I slowly get up and prepare myself hot coffee mixed with Coffee Mate - and I find that drinking a warm, creamy beverage helps! This may be a no-brainer topic - millions over the world drink coffee because it's a stimulant and a anti-depressant. I find it's especially good for those suffering from poor mental health. It's not only the beverage itself that is nice, but also the whole preparation - from selecting a cup to choosing the amount of sugar and turning on the kettle. I feel like I'm working in a fast-paced cafe and it gives me a sense of meaning and belonging. Thoughts? :]

Control your life

replies: 9

Taking control of your life eludes so many of us with mental issues. There are the common reasons, we possess guilty feelings if our decisions mean rejecting others, our decision might result in less contact, our decisions might mean we move away. An... View more

Taking control of your life eludes so many of us with mental issues. There are the common reasons, we possess guilty feelings if our decisions mean rejecting others, our decision might result in less contact, our decisions might mean we move away. And there is the feeling we have that we are selfish. While other people are important there is NO ONE more important than the members of our immediate family...who ever they might be. Immediate family are those half dozen or so close members or a best friend. Christmas however is another level altogether. There we are meeting people we haven't seen all year long and making every effort to please them. Family members we detest from the moment we dread their physical embrace to when they leave and we exhale heavily as they drive off. Well its time to make some changes don't you think? Why attend a family xmas gathering only to sight an uncle that sexually abused you? Obligation? We need to embrace our needs, as part of our recovery ritual. Tough love can often be used on our children and loved ones when they need it, then we need the same. Tough decisions is to prevent you being a victim to narcissists, to defend us against nasty, incompatible and even evil relatives that make our festive time excruciating and causes us to dwell on that annual meeting for days....enough! Google Topic: fortress of survival- beyondblue In that thread I mention the need to rid our lives of toxic people. Sure give them chances to change but some of these people we see once a year have done horrendous things to us and don't deserve a second chance. We have every right to draw an imaginary line of tolerance in the sand. People can be manipulating for example and time and time again we forgive them not realizing their nature is what it is, that that manipulation will never change? Perhaps in the short term change is noticeable but a year or two later the same event reoccurs? When is enough? I'd suggest enough is when you are no longer comfortable with that persons company to the point whereby you are upset for more than a few hours. That's my gauge but you can have your own and that judgement might include opinions from your spouse. The biggest issue here is the effect of such a decision to ban these abrasive people from your life.. that such decision is hard for you to make on a personal level and hard because of risk of conflict. Try discussing such decisions earlier in the year. Be reasonable but firm, control your life. Tony WK

Cooking for the carer

replies: 0

I am aware that many people aren’t good at cooking. Fair enough to. But, there are some recipes out there that are so easy a 5yo child could do. If you are not working, depressed and unmotivated, what if you could spend 15 minutes on a recipe and you... View more

I am aware that many people aren’t good at cooking. Fair enough to. But, there are some recipes out there that are so easy a 5yo child could do. If you are not working, depressed and unmotivated, what if you could spend 15 minutes on a recipe and your working carer arrives home with a cooked meal? And you are still in bed? One of the best tools for the kitchen we found is our slow cooker. If you haven’t got one get one. And buy the larger model. Take this recipe. Cut up two chicken breasts into cubes Cut two medium onions Fry them in a fry pan until they are brown. Put aside Dice up any vegetables Place all of the above in the slow cooker with one litre of chicken stock and salt and pepper Done. Your carer walks in 6 hours later and presto. You’ve made him/her smile. Just because we have depression and we feel unmotivated doesn't mean our carer has to carry the total burden of home life and work life. We should look after them the best we can. Gestures like this can go a long way to preventing their burn out. Do you have an easy recipe you can recommend? Good luck Tony WK

ASK JAY - Q&A for alcohol, drugs, gambling and addiction issues NOW CLOSED

replies: 24

Hi everyone, This a new thread we're opening up to discuss alcohol, drugs, gambling and addiction issues. Here to answer your questions is Jay Jaggard, beyondblue's clinical adviser and project manager of suicide prevention. Jay has a social work bac... View more

Hi everyone, This a new thread we're opening up to discuss alcohol, drugs, gambling and addiction issues. Here to answer your questions is Jay Jaggard, beyondblue's clinical adviser and project manager of suicide prevention. Jay has a social work background – her career spans 20 years working in alcohol and other drug, mental health and gambling in clinical, policy and management roles – harm reduction and supporting people to live their best possible lives are at the heart of everything she does. She has lived and worked in a range of places that contain some seriously scary wildlife including Perth (great whites), Darwin (crocs, box jellyfish) and Melbourne (Collingwood supporters). Jay will be here for a live Q&A launch of this thread on Tuesday 12 December between 12:30pm and 1:30pm, please come back then to post your questions. After that, we will be leaving this thread open for you to post your questions to Jay, and she'll be able to get back to you here on the forums within 24-48 hours in between her other work commitments.

When it's not healthy to compare the pair!

replies: 102

I believe I cope reasonably well with my anxiety. I have compiled a fabulous mental health tool box over time, full of all sorts of stuff to help me keep balanced and pull it out on any sign of the wobbles. There is one thing that sneaks up on me tho... View more

I believe I cope reasonably well with my anxiety. I have compiled a fabulous mental health tool box over time, full of all sorts of stuff to help me keep balanced and pull it out on any sign of the wobbles. There is one thing that sneaks up on me though, and quickly, and unexpectedly, which can bring me down with a thud .... comparing. I don't spend too much time via media celebrity watching for this reason, have never been big on it, wasn't close enough to home to warrant my attention but a snippet of it, or just seeing others sometimes is a trigger. Once on the 'comparing' track I start with the self loathing eg I'm not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough.... and worse....my husband can do better than me! I know.... (head lowered here).... how much he truly loves me, and would be horrified if I shared this thought with him. Sorry....that's why I'm sharing it with you! This intrusive thinking is downright annoying and unhealthy. This is one bump in my otherwise smooth journey at the moment. I'm seeing a psych soon and this will be one of my opening lines....but just wondering if anyone else has thoughts on 'comparing oneself to others'? Pet

You are sliding.....what can you do?

replies: 5

One of my biggest issues with mental struggles is - when feeling well I don't feel I'll ever be ill again. This perception has proven me wrong time and time again and over a long period of time I've noticed a couple of telltales that are like warning... View more

One of my biggest issues with mental struggles is - when feeling well I don't feel I'll ever be ill again. This perception has proven me wrong time and time again and over a long period of time I've noticed a couple of telltales that are like warning lights in my head...I know a bout of depression is coming. MY telltale signs are- I'm yearning for stimulation eg I'm bored, I feel the constraints of financial stress, I desire to be alone more often (like I want to hide) and feeling anger with revengeful thoughts (that are never acted out). If I don't act on the above issues and let them go, more often than not within 2 days or so I'll be depressed and the effort to reverse the slide will be much harder. So, having identified my triggers or better still "telltales" I put a plan into action. eg being bored is an easy one for me to counter...I set about making a project in my shed using secondhand materials, a garden seat, a caravan (my latest project) this makes me active and actually makes my mind focus on that one activity so much so I rarely have my music on. Financial stress is harder. But my wife and I now tackle that well. Some time ago we drew up a budget, aimed at eliminating credit cards for debit card and put money each fortnight into our power account etc. No surprise bills in this house now. Feeling I want to be alone. This can be overwhelming but rather than walk from our house and cause my caring wife concern I tell her that feeling is there and she knows to make herself less "in my space". She just plans her day a little differently by being more illusive. Once that feeling subsides we share a coffee.Feeling revengeful is the toughest of them all. It comes about by thinking of the past way too much. I suffer guilt badly and want often to fly a time machine to the past to apologise to all those I've wronged. How can I possibly counter those thoughts? Well, again its a case of keeping busy but also mixing it with being realistic. Telling myself it isn't productive to want to stew over the past, the past is gone, life isn't perfect and finally telling myself that most people wronged others by far worse actions than I have. I was young then, I'm much older now...I was misguided and lacked wisdom. Find your telltale signs. Read them, acknowledge them and try to counter them. Having professional medical people manage your struggles is great but there are some self help ideas that might just help you.... stop your slide. Tony WK

Holidays

replies: 2

When in my twenties I made a very big mistake. For financial reasons (manic, bad money manager) I didn't have a holiday for 8 years. Them days you could leave one job one day and start another the next. So I cashed in my holiday pay and kept right on... View more

When in my twenties I made a very big mistake. For financial reasons (manic, bad money manager) I didn't have a holiday for 8 years. Them days you could leave one job one day and start another the next. So I cashed in my holiday pay and kept right on working. The result? some accumulative burn out. While that happened my friends would take their xmas period off work and relax. Just as psychiatrists will tell you that sleep is essential, sound sleep, at least 8 hours for the mentally unwell, so to is holidays. The important things is to get away from the usual environment, away from your home where you, throughout the year dealt with your stresses, bills and arguments. As I've had past struggles financially decades ago I'm conscious of the fact that not everyone can afford to go on holidays. For those people camping is the option Google Topic: cheap recovery idea, camping- beyondblue For some caravanning is an answer. 2016 saw my wife and I and our mini Foxy tour the "lap" of Australia in our tiny 11 foot caravan. We built it ourselves and made sure it had a shower and toilet. Those additions took away the worry of where we can stop as well as walking in the dark to the loo, finding you are fully awake by the end of that trek. There are pitfalls. For many of us like to be alone. Many retirees caravanning like to have a natter. Chatting helps with exchange of information. It can be annoying at times though. We found that to avoid this you just park further away. You become an expert at having those quick 2 minute chats so they don't become a 60 minute drain. We have our own destination preferences like small towns and support them by buying items there rather than the large cities. We stay away from - tourist destinations mainly due to cost and crowds and listen to others recommendations. Keep an eye on the weather...cyclones are a hazard. Up north isn't fun in the heat. Anyone starting out caravanning for the first time should do some homework as to the best rig to use for your needs. Join caravan online forums and learn all about it. Many people have to sell a van or tow car to upgrade/downgrade to become legal at great cost. Many vans spend 90% of their time in a garage. There are some bargains to buy. You'll find many single people on the road. Many older people have survived the passing of their long time spouse. It's a way of getting away from the environment they had shared. Enjoy and relax. Take a holiday and care for yourself. Tony WK

Spirituality

replies: 23

I have spiritual guidance in my life( the unseen) but I can hear it & the other day it turned on the remote. I think I needed to watch this show. I also see things ( spiritual things) and feel the presence of God & I believe he shows me things. I bel... View more

I have spiritual guidance in my life( the unseen) but I can hear it & the other day it turned on the remote. I think I needed to watch this show. I also see things ( spiritual things) and feel the presence of God & I believe he shows me things. I believe he protects me with his white light. Do other people have these experiences??

Workplace parties

replies: 0

An invite for a bbq? A work party? End of year celebration? Like a lot of things with regarding our lives of orbiting mental illness issues, it should be planned. However planning our behavior and interaction with others can result in a false person.... View more

An invite for a bbq? A work party? End of year celebration? Like a lot of things with regarding our lives of orbiting mental illness issues, it should be planned. However planning our behavior and interaction with others can result in a false person. Shouldn't we be ourselves? There are arguments for and against Being ourselves, we know that many of us don't fit in with the normal brigade for whatever reason. That normal world is where the promotions are, the more bland characters that "fit in" with each other. Some even socialize after hours. Even being obliging to bosses is a common trait that some of us cannot stomach. Clubs have the same issue for us. Speak up and you are howled down verbally or the "stare". For these reasons being yourself is in your mind good but why draw attention to yourself? As with many things in life everything is good in moderation. You can retain your character at a gathering but exposing your out of "normal" self can work against you and that is the end result. I found over the years of over 85 jobs that I was best not to attend work parties. If it was during working hours my bosses expected me to attend so I did, for the shortest period of time and I suppressed my true self for that time. I certainly heard about the going ons at a later date, who chatted up who and all that stuff. Frankly, took little notice of it. Leave it to them. Then there is the mask. To continue the wearing of your fake persona is what we do best. And why not? Many of us do not want work colleagues to know about our illness or the effects of it, our eternal struggles. Feel free to keep your mask raised. If not and you confide in a "trustworthy" colleague that risk that that information is leaked is high. Before you know it every action you make and reaction is "that's because he has depression". Stigma is alive and well in the workplace- why? Because they are not friends. They are workers looking at promotion, colleague approval or they feed off gossip. Work is work. Its not a place of friendship or love and care. If you think it is then you could be right but its rare. Friendliness- By far the biggest mistake the mentally unwell make IMO is not asking questions. Ask someone questions about their life and they will relish in the deed of filling you with answers. Its the one thing that will make you likable. The worse action when someone asks you how you are going is to rattle off your mental woes. Its not what they are asking. Have a good xmas. Tony WK

What life can be like at the end of the tunnel

replies: 9

I've been on here for around 5 or 6 months. Over 1000 posts. I came on here after a few months of peace. I had retired last August 2013 and after some initial adjustments to the new life I began to get mentally stronger. This was largely to do with s... View more

I've been on here for around 5 or 6 months. Over 1000 posts. I came on here after a few months of peace. I had retired last August 2013 and after some initial adjustments to the new life I began to get mentally stronger. This was largely to do with stress levels. More on that soon. So, a lifetime (am 58yo) of ups and downs. I wasnt diagnosed with anything until 2003 when my then partner believed I had ADHD. We read a book on it be WEISS and the Los Angelis policeman in that book seemed like me. We went to a Psychiatrist that specialised in ADHD in adults. He said I had it and medication began. Expensive anti-depressants. In 2005 I had a depressive cycle going on. The same psychiatrist diagnosed me with bipolar 1. 2008 came and my partner and I separated. I went off the medication. For 5 years I'd felt bad on them, really sleepy when travelling 400kms or more a day. In 2010 my best friend and I got married. We went to another psychiatrist and he diagnosed me with bipolar 2, dysthymia, anxiety and depression. There were many revelations that day. We realised that a second opinion can work wonders. That mania can be misdiagnosed as ADHD, that my bipolar 1 medication (at the correct doses for bipolar 1) can be devastating if you dont have it. Etc. So what resulted was a mood stabiliser and a low dose of Ad's. Gradually my condition improved but I had a couple of major "episodes" which was traced to stress levels. So my job, a sole business owner was disbanded immediately following that lst episode and luckily went on the disability pension last August. Since last year I've made further changes to our lives. We organised our finances, purchased a camper to have cheap holidays, reduced Facebook friends to real friends only, rejected family or friends that were toxic to us and planned some strategies to cope with my condition (only short conversations with locals at shops for example and limit TV news). Every month since February has been an improvement. I can honestly say that I've had 2 bad days in that time. My cycle pre 2003 was in any 8 week period I've have a stretch of 10 days to 3 weeks of depressant and constant sadness. It doesnt mean resting on our lorrals. But it does mean finally I'm looking at ways to capitalise on my happiness. It feels strange, to be happy for so many days in a row. And it does prove to me that in some situations if you get the cocktail right, diagnosis, medication, dosage, etc...there might be a light at the end of the tunnel.....

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A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members

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