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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Aria87 Triggered by opinionated SIL
  • replies: 9

When my hubby & i first got together, i felt his sister VERY clingy to him,in which took her time to realize he was now in a relationship &soon to be married so she learnt her boundaries etc.We had a falling out early stages, where she involved herse... View more

When my hubby & i first got together, i felt his sister VERY clingy to him,in which took her time to realize he was now in a relationship &soon to be married so she learnt her boundaries etc.We had a falling out early stages, where she involved herself too much when i fell pregnant with my son. We moved on, but in my heart i knew she was at fault, HOWEVER took it as a lesson learnt with my husband & got over it - my husband did not see the issue.SIL has since divorced & now in a relationship in which nobody approves & is somewhat a secret due to her religious beliefs (which is also contradicting as the argument we had about was religious views and if this is the case she is doing way worse than my husband & i did which again is non of her business, nor is her choices to me)My SIL then became distant which my husband knew was something to do with us, i was blind sighted as me & the SIL have been fine (i assumed) but when he asked her what was wrong, so told my husband she was annoyed with me.Her bday, i had covid, was on my way to negative however still VERY unwell, yet i packed up my family to spend the weekend away for her, had a great time yet still fell very sick & left the next morning as i had work the next day - she stated i acted as if i didnt want to be there & it was her bday & shouldve made more effort.Same event- i made a comment about a dish cooked, in which i told my son he wouldnt like it, as i know what my son eats and wastes - she complained i was offensive as it was something they prepared.Her children, have in the past gotten my child into trouble by winding him up etc. - she complained how i am WITH MY OWN SON & told my husband i should let him be around her children.I was triggered once my husband told her in this chat that he would inform me about how she feels in which she replied "if i knew you would tell her, i wouldn't have told you" THIS is the issue i cannot deal with - SIL wanting to be the center of attention & going out of her way to tell my husband these issues which i think are ridiculous & she expects my husband to not tell me. I believe she shouldn't have said anything to my husband, as i wouldn't put my own brother in this situation & wedge myself between him & his wife. Im trying to be a better & still treating her as normal, yet now she is distant which reminds me of the past where i was originally hurt by their comments.

Kat86393 Husband with PDD wants divorce
  • replies: 4

My husband has had depression for the last few years and for the last 6 months it is been at its worst with suicidal ideation. We have 2-year-old and 6 month old daughter's. The last 6 months have been incredibly hard with a young bub and my husband ... View more

My husband has had depression for the last few years and for the last 6 months it is been at its worst with suicidal ideation. We have 2-year-old and 6 month old daughter's. The last 6 months have been incredibly hard with a young bub and my husband was also medically discharged from the Air Force. He says that he doesn't see a future for us because we will drag each other down. What do I do? Do I refuse to accept this as being him? Is it his depression dating we are better off without him? I can't imagine my future without him.

R.Penn Unemployed and depressed
  • replies: 4

Hi I feel really depressed today, I am unemployed and have been so since December 2022. I worked for two months prior to that at Aus Post as a Christmas casual and before that I was unemployed for 2 years since covid. I have been told by everyone tha... View more

Hi I feel really depressed today, I am unemployed and have been so since December 2022. I worked for two months prior to that at Aus Post as a Christmas casual and before that I was unemployed for 2 years since covid. I have been told by everyone that doesn’t get to see me everyday to “ just get a job”… they aren’t seeing me. I went to my job provider today and he was a complete bully again, I have been exhausted trying to stand up for myself and am sick of this system we live in. It’s failing so many people. I feel depressed mainly because he called my process of finding work pathetic… and am I just going to continue searching online for a job and filling in my obligations… he is supposed to help me and be empathetic. I feel like I shouldn’t listen to him but criticism echoes in my head. My good friend told me that I need to get my self confidence back on text, and it just hurt. I am quite aware of how I am feeling and what’s going on. I am trying. I am trying to find my way in this world. I was an artist, it was a brave choice and it was stupid because it got me no where but poverty, I lost my imagination due to life events, depression and the general survival stress of trying to get by. I was not born into a family of wealth but I did not have a terrible up bringing either, not great but it wasn’t bad compared to others stories. It’s dysfunctional like everyone else’s. I just need a break, I need to find somewhere I feel SAFE to work and I wont be harassed by men at work. I am sick and tired of having to have to explain myself. I just want to be GOOD at something again. Hearing the word Pathetic today just makes me spiral into negativity again when I have been trying to find hope and positivity. I feel so shit and like I shouldn’t be here I am useless waste of space on the tax system. These job providers need to get in the bin, they are all show, and image and no action. No empathy for people. I don’t have anyone I can talk to thank you for listening. I have worked it’s just I am never good enough for a permanent role where I can stay long term. I don’t fit in this world anymore.

PsychedelicFur My ex is now back with his ex before me, I feel like I was a REBOUND
  • replies: 1

Hello there, After leaving my longterm relationship of one year, I have just found out that my ex partner is getting back together with his ex (before me). I feel really hurt that after a month he can just move on like that and back with his ex, befo... View more

Hello there, After leaving my longterm relationship of one year, I have just found out that my ex partner is getting back together with his ex (before me). I feel really hurt that after a month he can just move on like that and back with his ex, before me. I am feeling so lonely and sad. Although, I’m lonely.. I am appreciative that I had did not stay with him because he would guilt trip me and say things like “…I will never love another” and “If you leave me I will be forever alone and you are my last hope.” Because he is going back with his ex it has made me feel that the WHOLE time he had feelings for her… I felt like a rebound. It has made me feel terrible about my self esteem.

Tintetare23 Alone and possibly insane
  • replies: 5

happy 4am everyone, I can’t sleep!! I’m a little lost… married 21 years 3 kids. My marriage lacks respect, love and intimacy and although I have attempted numerous times to discuss this with my partner all I get is “get over it”. He works nights and ... View more

happy 4am everyone, I can’t sleep!! I’m a little lost… married 21 years 3 kids. My marriage lacks respect, love and intimacy and although I have attempted numerous times to discuss this with my partner all I get is “get over it”. He works nights and once home (at around 11:30am) he sits on the Xbox until he goes to bed (6:30pm). I get no support to run the house, no happy conversations just an angry resentful man. Although surrounded by people I feel lonely, depressed and anxious that my marriage is falling apart and I have no control.

Rex007 Feeling Trapped
  • replies: 3

I have been married for quite a number of years now and truthfully I feel like it should have ended at least 7 years ago. My partner is very controlling and is more likely to give me orders than to show any kind of affection. At best we are just frie... View more

I have been married for quite a number of years now and truthfully I feel like it should have ended at least 7 years ago. My partner is very controlling and is more likely to give me orders than to show any kind of affection. At best we are just friends which is how she wants it to be. But it feels so lonely living like that.So why don't I leave? The big reason is because we have two kids 18 and 15 who have high functioning Autism and high anxiety as a result. I don't see any way that I could leave without them blaming themselves for the breakup.The other reason is because I don't know how to leave. I've been in this "marriage" for so long now that I don't know I could manage it. I have no family or friends that I can rely on - it's just me trapped, wanting more but knowing it'll never get better. I feel that she would get bitter if I left. I'm just tired of getting blamed for things when I work so hard.We have done marriage counselling (a few sessions anyway) and it was enough to realise that we both want different things. I just don't know what the next step is. I'm afraid to jump but know that I want to. P.S. I don't want to leave my kids because they bring the nost joy - I don't know what will happen there.

R.Penn Sharehouse difficulties
  • replies: 6

Hi, I have not posted in some time. But my circumstances have improved greatly. I am no longer renting a old caravan and am back living in my old share-house, with my boyfriend. He managed to convince my ex housemate to allow me to move back into the... View more

Hi, I have not posted in some time. But my circumstances have improved greatly. I am no longer renting a old caravan and am back living in my old share-house, with my boyfriend. He managed to convince my ex housemate to allow me to move back into the home and back on the lease agreement.It’s been hard adjusting after the history here with said housemate tho. He has not treated my boyfriend (who is autistic and very kind hearted) with much respect and is pretty inconsiderate self absorbed. I am trying to focus on the positives while I search for employment and wait for psychology appointments, in between trying to do some CBT and staying on my medication for anxiety. I went off meds for a month which I regret as this ended up in me exploding in resentment towards my ex housemate and calling him out as a bully. It was way overdue but he caught me when I just wanted to mind my own business and calm down. He cannot read my mood very well, says he doesn’t want to socialise with us, but then tries to small talk to me and we never do anything outside of the home with him. We are living with a stranger who is 10 years my senior. I am tired of the fake vibes. I am struggling at the moment, my boyfriend gets upset over unexpected changes and then I have to carry the emotions after he has vented to me and then I get resentful again against the housemate who I am not talking to as he has decided to purchase a new motorcycle and now has 5 vehicles on the property. Me and my partner share one car spot under the car port. I park on the road. He is now taking up another street park on the road which leaves me no room to park anywhere. I think these are small frustrating issues (he doesn’t buy dishwashing tabs, or cleaning products or TP for the house ever) but they are annoying because it appears inconsiderate and we also pay more rent as we have 3 rooms now in the house and pay for those. our housemate takes up the rest of the house with his furniture and gets the downstairs area too but he gets to pay a $137 a week which is an absolute steal at the moment with the housing crisis. We pay $435 a week. We just want to feel comfortable in our home which we have a right to spread out too. I am so grateful to have a safe and moderately quiet house in a nice area of the city. But I worry my car is not safe on the street and I will just have to face more trouble because of this housemate. I don’t know is this too petty?

BC16 Toxic mother
  • replies: 1

Hi, I’ve recently decided to cut my mother out of my life for numerous reasons but mainly mine and my family’s mental health. The thing is I actually haven’t said it to her and now that I’ve blocked her today I’m not sure if I should respond to one o... View more

Hi, I’ve recently decided to cut my mother out of my life for numerous reasons but mainly mine and my family’s mental health. The thing is I actually haven’t said it to her and now that I’ve blocked her today I’m not sure if I should respond to one of her numerous messages. I know whatever I say won’t sink in and she’ll have some excuse but I’m so angry that she spews all these lies and no one has ever pulled her up on it. That she thinks it’s ok to get my ex step father to start calling and texting when he hasn’t acknowledged my existence in 2 years. I’ve been doing better mentally but now I’m angry and I keep snapping at my wife and kids because I’m conflicted.

Dave992 Loosing my relationship with my children's mother to realise I am the problem
  • replies: 1

Hey everyone. Hope you are all having a great weekend. 2 months ago my partner left me saying she had no interest in reconciliation. I was never physically abusing but I've learned that I was distant and un loving of her and the children. I've had de... View more

Hey everyone. Hope you are all having a great weekend. 2 months ago my partner left me saying she had no interest in reconciliation. I was never physically abusing but I've learned that I was distant and un loving of her and the children. I've had depression and ignored the fact thinking that is just how it is. I've made active efforts to change this now but still feel horrible that I have hurt the person I love. I'm wondering how people have dealt with this before in the past.

DisappearMe Part time depression?
  • replies: 3

I am separated with two kids (9 - ADHD and 7 - Autism and ADHD) and have 50/50 custody. The week I have the kids is filled with non-stop fighting, them disrespecting me and each other, and me wishing I could disappear. I can't stand being around them... View more

I am separated with two kids (9 - ADHD and 7 - Autism and ADHD) and have 50/50 custody. The week I have the kids is filled with non-stop fighting, them disrespecting me and each other, and me wishing I could disappear. I can't stand being around them and find myself disengaging (sleeping late, not wanting to play with them) and generally hating my life. We are going through various options to try to get help for their behavioural issues but nothing has changed yet. My ex and I are on OK terms but I find him unhelpful in discussing the issues I have. He says they aren't as bad for him. Today I got caught in the cross fire of my kids throwing things at each other and ended up at the hospital with an injury. No one knows how bad it is with them, they can be rude and badly behaved around others but nothing like what I see daily when they are with me. When I am with my kids I feel like I meet all the criteria for depression and in the days before they come to me I feel anxious as I know what it will be like. Then, as soon as my week is up I feel fine again - happy, optimistic, and calm. I can't live like this and the thought of another 10+ years of this is unbearable, especially as the kids are getting bigger and stronger and more dangerous to each other and me. I don't know what to do.