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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Dusicka My mum is a victim of a romance scam and is in denial
  • replies: 8

My mum is currently "in a relationship" with a scammer and is in complete denial of what is happening. She has accused me of some awful things and it's taking every fiber of my being to put this down to the psychologically manipulative situation she ... View more

My mum is currently "in a relationship" with a scammer and is in complete denial of what is happening. She has accused me of some awful things and it's taking every fiber of my being to put this down to the psychologically manipulative situation she is in and try to not let it affect me but it's so incredibly difficult. The seemingly endless rollercoaster of seeing a horrible situation unfold is impacting everything in my life. I'm not sleeping,I'm constantly anxious and I feel utterly helpless. My dad died just over a year ago, and this has been hard enough to deal with, but this scam has been going on for months and she's getting in deeper and deeper. I lost my dad already. I don't want to lose my mum. My brother is handling this even worse. Everyone has always told me how strong I am so I keep trying to hold myself together for the sake of my family but I fear I am shattering inside. I have never sought mental health support before today but I'm desperate and I don't know where to turn. Is there anyone out there with a similar experience who can offer some ideas on what to do? I want to help my mum and family but I know I have to also help myself.

Anicca Contact with relative causing Anxiety and Depression
  • replies: 2

I have had no contact with my siblings and extended family for 30 years. I have major depression, GAD and Cyclothymia. Recently my niece Dxx contacted me via social media. I last saw her 35 years ago. She is now grown with children of her own. I dote... View more

I have had no contact with my siblings and extended family for 30 years. I have major depression, GAD and Cyclothymia. Recently my niece Dxx contacted me via social media. I last saw her 35 years ago. She is now grown with children of her own. I doted on her until my sister stopped me from seeing her. My sister wanted to control me and this was the only way she could do it. I refused to be docile and decided I was better off away from her. We all grew up with my violent alcoholic father so I understand why she was like this. The problem is I am finding it difficult to be in contact with Dxx without remembering all the horrible things my sister did and said to me. It is interfering with my daily life. My niece says her mother would have had her reasons for stopping me seeing her. I am trying not to be negative about her mum to her but she has no idea of the pain she caused me. Dxx sees it as a rejection of her. Has anyone else been through this? How did you cope?

MissJ94 Dealing with a toxic mother
  • replies: 2

How to deal with a toxic mother? Ive been with my partner for just over 3 months now. She knows i have a partner now. She never asks about him (doesnt ask about me or my son either though), has never met him (doesnt even try to see my son or i) and s... View more

How to deal with a toxic mother? Ive been with my partner for just over 3 months now. She knows i have a partner now. She never asks about him (doesnt ask about me or my son either though), has never met him (doesnt even try to see my son or i) and she openly talks sh!t about my partner (and me) to others fully aware that my son (12) knows whats going on and reports it back to me when he sees something. Tonight i had my partner over, the three of us went to have Christmas photos together and went out for dinner too, was a great night! But it was spoiled, for me at least, at the beginning when my son mentioned that my mum was messaging her friend calling my partner, that shes NEVER met, a d!(khead. He says he doesnt care what people say about him, but i do. Especially when its a blood relative saying it, your mother saying it..In the family group chat she openly b!/(hes about how im not cooking for Christmas day this year, simply because i cannot afford to nor do i have the time. Little does she know that ive had multiple mental breakdowns in the last few weeks, have been on workers comp for almost 4 months so not earning my usual wage right now, im stressed about how im going to afford my sons high school stuff which includes a 1700$ laptop! Plus loads more, because she doesnt ask about us. Immediately jumps to "poor me, now im going to have to cook everything myself" or another one she said the other week "poor (my sons name) must feel pushed aside now she has a pr!ck hanging off her hip". I just want to cut her out completely. Pack up and leave Sydney. Adopt a new mum. Ive always wanted a mum who i have a close mother/daughter relationship with but each day, each week, each month, she reminds me of why she will never be that to me.My partners mum has been that more to me in the couple months ive know her than what my mum has ever been.And i guess thats one reason id love more kids, if it was a girl i could potentially have that mother/daughter relationship... Tips on dealing with this? What ive been doing is not replying to most of her texts because i find when i do it just gives her more reason to blow up more about nothing at all. It really does seem as though the only way she will be happy is if she has full control over us..

anonymous1994 My wife left me
  • replies: 2

Hello my name is James, I’m 29 years old. in August ‘23 I got my married to the love of my life. The woman I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. We planned to have children next year some time. Life was great. until about 4 weeks ago she ... View more

Hello my name is James, I’m 29 years old. in August ‘23 I got my married to the love of my life. The woman I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. We planned to have children next year some time. Life was great. until about 4 weeks ago she said she doesn’t love me anymore and she can’t be the person that I need her to be. My whole world got destroyed. I lost my wife, my house, my dogs and my cats. She said maybe in the future we can be civil and maybe even friends. But I don’t think I can do that. I can’t watch her move on from me with potential someone else. I’m already in so much pain I don’t know if my heart can take anymore. Does that make me a bad person? Maybe. I’m scared. Lost. And unsure where I go from here.

Stuckinthemiddle431 Supporting younger sister who has gone no contact with mum
  • replies: 2

Hey guys,I don't even know where to start. My mum has been a very challenging woman our whole lives. Numerous things including - exclusion to sudden favoritism and back, causing eating disorders, prioritizing abusive partner and even worse stepdaught... View more

Hey guys,I don't even know where to start. My mum has been a very challenging woman our whole lives. Numerous things including - exclusion to sudden favoritism and back, causing eating disorders, prioritizing abusive partner and even worse stepdaughter. My sister has gone through the ringer. I have basically adopted a mother role for my sister since I was in my early teens. At one point even thanking my mum sarcastically for killing my sister, because at that point, my sister was going through extreme depression and suicidal thoughts, I genuinely thought I was going to lose my sister. Over the years, mum has had her own issues to deal with including an attempt to take her life which ended up with her in a mental health ward for a couple months. She has, in a backwards way, blamed how she treated my sister as the reason for her attempt, which has made my sister feel guilty for not forgiving her. But she also won't admit what she's done. I'm going through my own therapy for C-PTSD due to issues with both parents and other outside causes, but nothing as extreme. I'm low contact with mum and dad. It has come to a point now where my sister, who is now 30, has been low contact for years, is fed up. Shes going no contact with mum and low contact with dad. I know my mum will not accept it, try to put me in the middle, and I believe she will also try take her life again. I don't know how to support my sister through this while also managing my own mental health. I guess I don't know how to shut down mums questioning because she brings up my sister 4 out of 5 conversations. I know i'm going to be in the middle and if mum tries something, her family will come after me.

Chris__D Need help getting over an old flame
  • replies: 3

Hi, As the title states I need some help getting over my last partner. I am a male (27) and I have been separated from my last partner for 8 months or so now. I use the term partner as I never really committed to a relationship with her and thus crea... View more

Hi, As the title states I need some help getting over my last partner. I am a male (27) and I have been separated from my last partner for 8 months or so now. I use the term partner as I never really committed to a relationship with her and thus created more of a situationship rather than a relationship. I believe this was due to me not being ready to settle down (which I now regret not doing) and is possibly due to me not really having any lengthy relationships in the past and thus was scared of the idea of commitment. This led to me distancing myself from intimacy in the latter stages of our time together to the point where I suggested we split as I started to convince myself I was being toxic for her and genuinely believed she deserved better despite her stating that she didn't mind not committing to anything and was happy to continue as we were. In hindsight, I believe my anxious thoughts got the better of me and I convinced myself that I was a problem for her when in reality she really did care for me. 8 months down the track I have finally started to regret my decision as I truly believe I won't find anyone like her again. So, in a hope to repair what we once had I sent a heartfelt message to her and she replied with a picture of who I assume is her new partner holding a puppy obviously to indicate to me that she has moved on. This single picture broke me, and now I'm feeling worse than ever before. I'm now regretting all of my decisions and am left wishing I could somehow go back and change the past which I know is not possible. I want to believe that she will somehow change her mind and we will be able to continue from where we left off but I know that's not going to happen either. I have come to realise now that she was "the one" and I am unsure how to deal with these regrets. Can anyone please offer some insight on the following, it would be more than appreciated. 1. Is it worth keeping optimistic about her possibly changing her mind despite having a new partner? As I believe that she really did care for me based on statements such as "You're not like a lot of guys" and "I appreciate you as a person" 2. At my current age (27) I'm now stressing about will I ever find another person who makes me feel like she did? I certainly don't have high standards but I need someone who can match me on an intellectual level and this is an extremely rare quality to find in a woman these days and thus I am worried I'll never find that type of person again. Thanks,C

nixxyboo Family won’t believe me.
  • replies: 3

Genuinely got distracted with a phone call and walked out of a store with something.(went back paid it was all fine) but now my family think I have a stealing issue because someone said in the past they think I am (I’d rather go into debt first). But... View more

Genuinely got distracted with a phone call and walked out of a store with something.(went back paid it was all fine) but now my family think I have a stealing issue because someone said in the past they think I am (I’d rather go into debt first). But they don’t believe me and saying I need to get help. I love them but 2 members (the ones this is about) have always been extremely judgy so I’ve never felt comfortable talking to them about well anything deep really. What do I do. I know myself the truth but how do I deal with family that are angry with me and think I have issues

melia74 Scared
  • replies: 1

I will try to explain in simple and quick Partner and I have been taking drugs for 15 years recreational use. For the past 10 years I've been subjected to constant cheating accusations Cameras in the house watching him and putting him on show when we... View more

I will try to explain in simple and quick Partner and I have been taking drugs for 15 years recreational use. For the past 10 years I've been subjected to constant cheating accusations Cameras in the house watching him and putting him on show when we have sex. I have signed my life away to someone and when I don't want to go near him as he has made me feel discussing he says they are telling me what to do. I live this man but it's becoming to much for my mental state and.my daughters. He knows I don't want to take drugs anymore and he doesn't care as long as he gets his sex at the end of the day. If I'm with my daughter he gets pissed off as I've not made time for him. The list goes on He has sometimes made me lye naked so he can look over my body to see if there is any evidence of something. I'm tired and scared.

Elizabeth666 Fighting the narcissist in the magistrate court - need an experience barrister for hearing
  • replies: 1

I am hoping to find a lawyer / barrister to represent me in court that understands a narcsissist mind games. I have had 2 lawyers, both expecting me to plead guity for breach an IVO just to make a quick dollar. I cant plead guilty for acts I cannot r... View more

I am hoping to find a lawyer / barrister to represent me in court that understands a narcsissist mind games. I have had 2 lawyers, both expecting me to plead guity for breach an IVO just to make a quick dollar. I cant plead guilty for acts I cannot remember doing. We were in a relationship for 3 years, it got quite abusive. I reported him many times to the police, even afte showing bruising all over my body police did nothing. He reports a lie to the police, the police jump to help me. My psychologist says because I had attack after attack by the man, his current partner and police, I had a traumatic episode as I have no memory of the events for 48 hours. I went into fight mode. I did not hurt anybody but I breached an IVO. I believe he manipulated the police with false stories. I told another woman who was also sleeping with this man is a conman be careful. That was it, the attacks against me started. I am in the process of collecting all the evidence and getting a psychologist forensic report. Now I need a barrister to help me at the hearing. I have been fighting this battle for 12 months. I cant have his name next to my name on record as the abuse will continue. I need all ties with him broken. My life has been turned upside down.