Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Start a discussion

KyraMuse Thinking of ending 5+ year relationship
  • replies: 2

Hi, this is my 1st post. I am female and in my late 40's, as is my partner (male). We love each other and the relationship has been great, but I am feeling insecure about our future. One issue is marriage, which I have asked him about on and off (eve... View more

Hi, this is my 1st post. I am female and in my late 40's, as is my partner (male). We love each other and the relationship has been great, but I am feeling insecure about our future. One issue is marriage, which I have asked him about on and off (every 6 months) if we are heading in that direction, and he always answers yes, but seems to put delay tactics in place and never seems to be planning or doing anything towards making it happen. A few days ago there was an incident at his family's house where his father made a 'joke' comment about me not being welcome in their house (because I'm voting yes in the referendum and his parents voted no, fyi my partner is also voting yes with me). The next day I told my partner the comment was hurtful and offended me. My partner conveyed no empathy, told me I had misconstrued it, I was being sensitive and essentially wrong for being offended. I felt very deserted by my partner and I now feel that I can't trust him to understand my feelings. He has not been this unempathetic towards me in the past, I can understand it's his dad against his partner, and I wasn't expecting him to completely take my side, but I really wasn't expecting him to be that opposed to me. This trust issue on top of a general feeling that he doesn't want to commit to me is making me feel like I should break up with him. Any advice?

Loveanimals My 19 Year Old Son Blames Me For Everything
  • replies: 17

I recently posted about my son's issues with drugs. Yesterday I took him to our Doctor. The Doctor was very kind and helpful. He told my son that every single person he has treated for Schizophrenia in his 50 year career, had been drugs users. He tol... View more

I recently posted about my son's issues with drugs. Yesterday I took him to our Doctor. The Doctor was very kind and helpful. He told my son that every single person he has treated for Schizophrenia in his 50 year career, had been drugs users. He told my son to stay away from it and he prescribed a very low dose anti-anxiety medication to get him over the week (withdrawals). Today I picked my son up from work and he immediately attacked me. He has googled and claims he has schizophrenia? He said it is my fault because I am an 'alcoholic c..t". I am so done with him. Yes I do have a love for alcohol but I am not an alcoholic and he knows that. Anyway....how dare he call me that word!!! Besides the fact that the Dr never once thought he was schizophrenic? He is a total drama queen and his actions are destroying me. He has also said he 'doesn't believe the Dr' about the drugs.....???? The night before his Dr appointment he drank a 2 litre cask of wine and half a bottle of Baileys. This was all whilst I was asleep. This alcohol was hidden and he knows he is not permitted to drink it. But he did anyway and needless to say the next morning he vomited all over the toilet floor... ? Of course I had to clean it up? I do not know what to do with him anymore. I am starting to hate him. He is an emotional blackmailer and is never grateful for all of the money/sacrifices/things I do for him. Please help.

sadsally Financially dependent on narcissistic mother
  • replies: 1

I’m 28, I’ve been working on and off for my mother my whole life, i have various physical (POTS, chronic fatigue syndrome, ITP, endometriosis and idiopathic narcolepsy) and mental health issues (anxiety, PTSD, ADHD and depression) that kinda prevent ... View more

I’m 28, I’ve been working on and off for my mother my whole life, i have various physical (POTS, chronic fatigue syndrome, ITP, endometriosis and idiopathic narcolepsy) and mental health issues (anxiety, PTSD, ADHD and depression) that kinda prevent me working full time and my dr has told me he would fully support me going on the DSP but my mum has been paying me this whole time so on paper I look like I have been working full time so my application was rejected. She will not let me try having another job without cutting me off completely and I honestly don’t think I am capable of holding down a job so I’m to scared to try. I do appreciate what she does for me but it comes with a cost, I am like her verbal punching bag, especially if she is stressed, she will scream at me infront of other staff, tells me I’m lazy, incompetent, stupid and has me in tears most days even when I’m not working, she sets impossible tasks for me like putting me in charge of website design and management while having no training in coding or web design then gets angry and berates me in-front of everyone when I inevitably fail. She has had multiple workers take her to fair work and lawsuits for bullying and I cop it a hundred times worse than they did. I have incredibly low self esteem and I feel like a shell of who I’m meant to be, I have to watch every word I say and have to take note off all her facial expressions so I can predict and de-escalate, it causes mass anxiety for me and I shake and stutter in her presence. She threatens to cut me off if I try to say anything back to her. I fear I will never be financially independent and I’m beginning to think that’s exactly what she wants.

Purplegirl-25 Feeling unsure
  • replies: 5

Why do people stop communicating by text can you do anything else to see what is happening

Why do people stop communicating by text can you do anything else to see what is happening

Lotus_85 Is he guilt tripping me?
  • replies: 4

Hey, so I was asked by my friends at work to go away for a night to do a wine tasting and check out the markets and stuff. (wine isn't my thing, but i don't mind the markets from time to time). I told my husband and he didn't say anything... fast for... View more

Hey, so I was asked by my friends at work to go away for a night to do a wine tasting and check out the markets and stuff. (wine isn't my thing, but i don't mind the markets from time to time). I told my husband and he didn't say anything... fast forward a day, he casually mentions thats it weird that i would want to go coz it doesn't really sound like my thing.I said the vineyard would be cool to look at and stuff and its more hanging out with the girls than anything.He said well its still weird. Going when its not my thing. (i have mentioned checking out these particular market several times over the years, never been btw)When I reiterated thats its not weird, and they invited me so i was thinking about it.Then it turned, "so you will make an effort to do something with them you dont like, but when we went on the boat you layed there all miserable coz you didn't want to be there".I layed on the boat tanning my legs while him and my eldest had the shits with each other, didn't want a bar of either of them that day. He then goes on to tell me about how he is making all this effort in our relationship, he suggested we do coffee dates on Saturday, that was his suggestion (like it doesnt matter we are both doing it to try and better us, just that it was his idea). and what have i done, nothing. i had mentioned i would like to go to the pub at some point and chill with the tunes with him, but we cant afford to be doing that shit so i dont ask. he throws that in my face that i never make an effort to ask him to do that stuff. Now we are fighting over him making more effort than me, meanwhile he gets smex several times a week (when i have zero smex drive or desire of any kind), i force myself to do it. but thats just a requirement of a relationship, and i just make him feel shit when he asks if i want to do something and i say "no, but we can if you want". not shit enough that he says no, just tells me about it our next argument.but anyway, now i dont even wanna go, i dont wanna go to the work xmas party, i dont wanna go anywhere with anyone. this was my whole life up until the last 5yrs or so when i fought back a lil and had the fight in order to do things. but now i just cant.He never tells me i cant go out with friends, just makes me not want to, or makes me feel like a sh1t gf who hates him and prefers them so i feel so guilty that i dont go. His whole M.O. our whole life.

hshs isolation and wanting to restart life
  • replies: 1

Hi all first time poster hereive got alot going on so sorry if this post is long or is very vague im not the best at saying what i need to and my spelling is awful (sorry in advance)ive been having issues at school regarding social isolation its curr... View more

Hi all first time poster hereive got alot going on so sorry if this post is long or is very vague im not the best at saying what i need to and my spelling is awful (sorry in advance)ive been having issues at school regarding social isolation its currently the holidays at the time of posting and its still affecting me. in short most people at school will exclude me (i sound like a child saying this) i lost my friend group due to sticking up for someone who needed support. im at the point where my family doesnt want me to move to the school my very few friends are at. alot of things are going through my head at the moment. im even concidering becoming homeless so i can hopefuly start a better life authough it will be dificult. my family also will not let me drop out of school saying ill become useless. im really hoping i can find the best option that will mean all this stops and i can just live a good life and not have to deal with what school is currently throwing at me.thanks in advance for your support,hshs

bluebelle23xx Anxious over going to court bc of my mum
  • replies: 8

If anyone has any advice I’d really appreciate it (I’m in Australia for reference). On Thursday there was an altercation between my narcissistic mother & I. The police were called to the house by her. This was all because a friend of mine turned up a... View more

If anyone has any advice I’d really appreciate it (I’m in Australia for reference). On Thursday there was an altercation between my narcissistic mother & I. The police were called to the house by her. This was all because a friend of mine turned up at the house wanting to stay the night. I obviously asked my mother because it’s her house and I have respect. When she got home she went off , told me it was a stupid question to ask and basically degraded the hell out of me saying how none of my friends or family like me. There is a very long history of domestic violence in our family. I was not handcuffed , fingerprinted or given a mugshot but I was arrested and taken to the police station. I was kept in a holding cell for 4 hours & released on conditional bail. The said offence is common assault and a provisional avo order is in place for my mothers safety when she’s the abusive one Police have been called out often but on this occasion it just got way out hand. I do not want a criminal record. This was my first offence. I believe I reacted in self defence after was name called verbally and she got up in my face. From there she pulled my hair and I grabbed onto hers as well and tried to reach for her phone as I believed she was recording me. In the midst of this I grabbed her wrist in self defence. She kept saying I am not her child or daughter over and over again bc of my age (I’m just 20). I have a message where she admits to pulling my hair but says it was in “self defence”. What can I do ? I just wanna know it’s gonna be okay ‍🩹 I have severe anxiety and depression and I feel sick even thinking about going to court - it’s on Monday I just don’t even understand the point anymore and I’m really hoping I don’t get a criminal record otherwise I’ll definitely spiral downwards as I won’t have a future to look forward too.

Tan_ika Very depressed, suicidal partner I am unsure how to help?
  • replies: 3

I have been with my partner for 5 years. In the last 12 months his mental health has severely declined he doesn’t talk to anyone about it except for me and doesn’t even open up to much to me. He is having suicidal thoughts and he’s so angry a lot of ... View more

I have been with my partner for 5 years. In the last 12 months his mental health has severely declined he doesn’t talk to anyone about it except for me and doesn’t even open up to much to me. He is having suicidal thoughts and he’s so angry a lot of the time and I’m so scared he’s not going to come home one day. Can anyone offer any advice on how to get him to lean on more people around him, we have really good family and friends. I told his dad and his boss and he’s really angry at me for that but i honestly don’t know what to do and I am struggling being the only one he has told I feel like I can’t help him enough. Any suggestions on how to talk to him about getting external help or even opening up to his inner circle would be appreciated. Thanks

Jo905 Narcissistic MIL
  • replies: 1

I am having lots of trouble with this woman. My husband and I have been together for 24 years. We got married almost two years ago. She was always a nasty person that would say hurtful things but when we went to her house to tell her we were getting ... View more

I am having lots of trouble with this woman. My husband and I have been together for 24 years. We got married almost two years ago. She was always a nasty person that would say hurtful things but when we went to her house to tell her we were getting married the first thing that came out if her mouth was " have you seen such and such". Such and such is some girl my husband knew when they were younger. If all the things to say, she chose that. Leading up to the wedding she carried in about what she was going to wear to the point she dropped be us all crazy. I tried to include her in the wedding. I showed her photos of my dress and tried to discuss things with her. On the day of the wedding, she positioned herself right in front of my husband and evil eyed him through the whole ceremony. We have photos of her looking away when I walked down the aisle. It was as if she didn't want me there. After the ceremony, she ran up to me and said "hope you're happy now". I was gobsmacked! At the reception, she kept leaving the room to smoke. She came back at one point and announced that she had fallen over. Not seeing any evidence of this I asked her where so that I could notify the venue. She wouldn't answer me. Each time I went to the toilet she would march up to my son and side ear him. She told him that she wouldn't be putting our card in the card box and that if we wanted it we would have to go to her house to get it. The next day she had one of her flying monkeys go and get photos developed and has a nice photo of her and my husband on her stand in the lounge room. Two months later we were driving, my husband was towing the caravan and as she always did she rang the day we left demanding to know when we were coming home. My husband informed her that he was driving but she cont inued to do her usual, pretend cry on the phone. I took the phone off him m.because my previous husband was killed in a car accident. She immediately attacked me. Saying nasty things about my parents who died way before I met her. She also asked me "what in the hell have you done to my son, he's not been right for 6 months". At this point I lost it. I said to her "you want to know what's going on with your son, he cheated on me". She went deathly quiet. Yes he cheated on me, just like the other three partners he has had that she didn't approve of. And she has never told him that he is Ng people! She did tell me once that I was her "second favourite". She is so nasty. She lies and guilt trips my husband with money. He has broken contact with her recently but she still gets at her m through his s brother. The brother isn't able to see that he is enabling her. I feel like it's only a matter of time until she comes up with another false story to come between us. I don't like having to parent my husband because she has failed miserably. This is a woman who wasn't happy with just a husband, she has two men in her life and they have both now passed. I watched her push a man's son out if the way whilst he was taking his last breath. Absolutely disgusting behaviour.

Lonelymum4 Lonliness
  • replies: 3

This is my first time here so I’m feeling pretty anxious.I am a single mum of 3 dependent kids and I have been with my current partner for 3 years.I have a secure job and my kids are good kids but busy with their own lives.My partner has his kids 50%... View more

This is my first time here so I’m feeling pretty anxious.I am a single mum of 3 dependent kids and I have been with my current partner for 3 years.I have a secure job and my kids are good kids but busy with their own lives.My partner has his kids 50%.Like everyone, life has thrown me some crap over the years but I know I have a lot to be grateful for.I have no other family and only a couple of good friends.Lately I have been feeling so lonely and alone, I feel like I have no purpose other than to wash, cook and clean, I feel invisible in my own life. Some days it is hard just to get out of bed, I mean what’s the purpose in that?My kids live with me full time. They are of the ages where they don’t want to bother with me (& yet seem more than happy to spend time with their dad, which I’m happy about but it also hurts) and sometimes I feel like I’m in a shared care arrangement with my partner.I’m not really sure why I am posting this, I guess I just needed to say it out loud in a safe space where I won’t be judged, hoping it might lift a weight off my shoulders a bit, I’m not really sure.