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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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irascible Troubled family and marriage
  • replies: 3

I am 25, and have been married to my wife for 4 years. We have 2 kids, a girl (2) and a boy (1). My wife and I are always getting into arguments over stupid, trivial things, usually because of something that I've done (or not done).I will admit, that... View more

I am 25, and have been married to my wife for 4 years. We have 2 kids, a girl (2) and a boy (1). My wife and I are always getting into arguments over stupid, trivial things, usually because of something that I've done (or not done).I will admit, that since having kids, my life has been a lot more stressful, I'm just not sure how to deal with this. We have just started seeing a psychologist together, to see if we can work on things. My wife thinks that I'm unhappy with my life, and that I take out my frustration, and anger on the people around me - I guess this is somewhat true.Little bit more about me: I've seen a psychiatrist who told me that I have a form of austism/Aspergers (high functioning autism). I feel that I see the world differently to most. My brain is always going, always taking in information about everything going on around me. As a result, I often suffer from mild anxiety, but not to the point where I have panic attacks etc. I'm taking an SSRI for the anxiety side of things, and a stimulant to help keep me focused at work, as I'm often easily distracted by things.As a result of my brain going 100% or the time, I'm always tired, I'm somewhat an insomniac, and sleep quite terribly. I want to improve myself mentally, and became a better person, in hopes that this makes me feel physically better, and that I be a better husband and father

Sadcookie Conflicted heart
  • replies: 1

I've being having relationship problems for the past few months and often thought about leaving him but stayed because I was worried he would kill himself. I was crying all the time and worried about him because he wouldn't talk to me and showed litt... View more

I've being having relationship problems for the past few months and often thought about leaving him but stayed because I was worried he would kill himself. I was crying all the time and worried about him because he wouldn't talk to me and showed little affection. Finally I had enough and decided to end the relationship, but when I saw him I just couldn't so I said if he could show me he would change then maybe we could try again, he agreed then ignored me for nearly a week. When I saw him at work (we work together) I was upset and let it show, though probably too much. I wanted to talk after work and apologize for how I treated him, he said no, it was clear how I felt and that it was over. Since then I have been thinking about the relationship and how I felt, I still care about him and want to be with him, but I also remember how being with him made me feel, I was always sad and there were very few happy moments. He was very selfish and always thought about himself, never asking how I was or caring if I had a bad day. I don't know why I still want to be with him because I have a list of why it was a bad relationship. Then last night I had a dream that we were together and were having a baby a beautiful little boy we were happy and smiling and I wanted to wake up because I knew it wouldn't happen but at the same time I wanted to stay in it so bad that it made me cry. I don't know what to do... ever since he ended it he has ignored me and brushed off my attempts to talk to him, I tell my self that he is not worth it but my heart still aches thinking about him.

Chatty87 Confused emotions
  • replies: 5

Hi All, I'm a little apprehensive about this issue and have been racking my brain on what to do for a few days now. I'm seeking some advice on what my next step should be. I've been married for 18 months now, together for 7 years. My wife and I have ... View more

Hi All, I'm a little apprehensive about this issue and have been racking my brain on what to do for a few days now. I'm seeking some advice on what my next step should be. I've been married for 18 months now, together for 7 years. My wife and I have 2 kids together and they mean the world to me (another reason this is so hard). I never thought that I could have feelings for another woman but here I am... I was away with work for 2 weeks on a course and I met her, along with 7 others completing the course. At first I thought nothing of it, I was there to do a job and got on with it. Then when we introduced ourselves to each other, there were things she said that sparked my interest so I wanted to know more. From conversations I had with her I felt I was starting to like more and more about her, I had not felt this way about a person since I met my wife. This girl and I share the same interests we are both driven and motivated to achieve pretty much the same thing. This scares me because I didn't go out to meet anyone else, I had a family back home. I feel like I have betrayed them, then again I also feel that if this was nothing and just a small flutter so to speak, why can I not stop thinking about her. Even when I am with my wife. The way I see it I have a few options, each with pros and cons: 1, I ignore the feelings and stay with my wife and carry on like it never happened. However I have been feeling for a while now that I don't love my wife like I used to. 2, I leave my wife and kids and see how things go with the other woman. I hate to say it but this makes me feel happier than option 1. Cons are that I don't want to destroy my kids lives nor that of my wife. Plus the other girl has a boyfriend, she did however tell me that she felt something for me too. I do not feel any inclination towards ending you life. I am however confused as all hell and don't know where to go from here. My wife doesn't know that I am talking to this other girl and I feel like I'm cheating on her, even though nothing happened with the other girl. Thanks ks for reading.

geminibabe42 *embarrassing post* obsession with a book!
  • replies: 3

Help. I've developed an unhealthy obsession with a book called 'The Rules' and it must be OCD but I can't seem to stop thinking about it and letting it ruin my life I'm a person who already takes things way too seriously at the best of times and I al... View more

Help. I've developed an unhealthy obsession with a book called 'The Rules' and it must be OCD but I can't seem to stop thinking about it and letting it ruin my life I'm a person who already takes things way too seriously at the best of times and I already fell crazy enough about this so please don't make me feel worse.But years ago my sister bought this book called 'The Rules' when I was only 16 and I was already developing this habit of taking things literally.I looked up to my sister way too much and thought I had to copy every little thing she did and she encouraged it by always telling me stuff I did was "right" or "wrong" which didn't help at all. But that's another story in itself.But anyway the book is a self-help book that basically tells you what to do and what not to do in the 'dating' phase of a relationship. Don't get me wrong, some of 'The Rules' are pretty logical and valid like 'don't call or message him' which I'm sure most of you ladies out there would agree makes sense? The whole premise of the book is that if a guy isn't texting or calling he's just not that into you. So don't text or call him etc.But (don't ask me why or how this has happened) somewhere along the way in the course of my young naieve life I have started to take other parts of the book way too seriously and let them ruin my life. For example, the rule, "Don't open up too soon"; "Don't tell him too much"; and "Be mysterious".These 'rules' are said to make a man find you fascinating and want to marry you. So even though I know they are just a guide, my OCD kicks in every time I'm on a date / in the early stages of a relationship / and I cannot seem to "let them go".It has gotten so bad that it has seriously affected my communication and my ability to relax / be myself / form an honest, meaningful connection with the guys I go on dates with / when in a relationship.Now, deep down I rationally know they are affecting the way I live my life. But despite this, I just CAN'T stop holding back in fear that I'll lose my future husband if I don't follow them. All because of this stupid book (coupled with my OCD).Please help me see what I can do to get over this weird obsession, and just be myself on dates?

themadchatter I have developed strong feelings for one of my best friends
  • replies: 4

Hi all I need some advice on how to proceed in my situation. A year ago I came across this female on an meeting people app called Meet Me. She and I were both living in Sydney. She was cool and fun to talk to. She then got back together with the fath... View more

Hi all I need some advice on how to proceed in my situation. A year ago I came across this female on an meeting people app called Meet Me. She and I were both living in Sydney. She was cool and fun to talk to. She then got back together with the father of her kids and they moved out into the country. She and I were still speaking but it was the getting to know you phase of the friendship. We then lost communication for a couple of months I don't know what the reason was as we didn't have a fight just lost contact with each other. She then broke it off with her husband seperated but not divorced. And we got even closer...talked every day. Have similar personalities and common interests and we don't hold back at all in our conversations. She once said she had considered dating me but decided against it because didn't want to ruin the friendship. She's been seperated for 4 or so months now and there were two guys that she was speaking to at different times that ultimately didn't work out. I was relieved but not aware of any interest I had in her. Recently within the last month and a half she has been chatting to a man she really likes and he really likes her and I have been getting so jealous everytime she mentions him. She is one hell of an incredible female and her happiness means alot to me but because I like her a freaking lot I don't want him to be the one to make her happy.. I want it to be me that does that. I just feel like how this is going to end up is she'll want to focus her time and energy on him if all goes well. I'll try to keep talking and being close to her as we have always been and its going to result in this dude giving her an ultimatum...that she either choose him to keep dating or me to keep being a close friend with and in that scenario I'll be the one who loses her not him

geminibabe42 Should I leave him?
  • replies: 7

I just don't know what to do anymore. I love my boyfriend of almost 2 years but he is a total d****head at times. We have broken up on and off and been back and forth for like our whole relationship. The only reason I have stayed with him this long i... View more

I just don't know what to do anymore. I love my boyfriend of almost 2 years but he is a total d****head at times. We have broken up on and off and been back and forth for like our whole relationship. The only reason I have stayed with him this long is because we have had so many amazing moments where we have really loved each other. He has called me his future wife several times and said countless times he wants a future with me. But every time we have even the slightest communication issue we don't know how to solve it and it's mostly because he is too stubborn to change something or apologise whenever he has upset me. Now it has gotten to the point where he doesn't even seem to want this anymore and he is hurt about something that I have done recently, which I think is small given the bigger picture of our situation. But he doesn't seem to understand and keeps saying things like "I have broken his trust and hurt him too many times," yet he rarely ever acknowledges the hurt he has caused me . The thing he is hurt about is that recently I hanged up on him and said "I just can't be bothered" at a time when things were really bad and we were fighting heaps because I just couldn't take it anymore . He broke up with me after that because he says "we just keep hurting each other and I can't deal with it". But then he came down to get his stuff and I talked to him and "convinced" him to stay. I told him how much I loved him and reminded him how up until now we have always said how much we want a future together, to move out and get married etc. He still wanted this to work so he was "giving me another chance". So we got back together. But things have been miserable since with him constantly saying he is still hurt and us both so scared it's going to happen again. But the thing is, I feel that our communication breakdown was both of our faults, but it feels like he just blamed me and took no responsibility, which he never does . But now I am thinking of breaking up with him because he says he just feels "anxious" now all the time that something is going to happen. He says he felt "relieved" the other day when he called and I didn't answer my phone. That hurt me so much and again I feel he is blaming all me for this, but not taking fault himself. I love him so much and I don't want to lose him after all we have said and shared and built together. But he has hurt me so much. I don't know what to do. Should I try to solve this? Or should I just leave him?

Flaca1974 New to BB and find myself alone.
  • replies: 1

Wanted to say Hi and see if anyone can give me some ideas on how I can cope. Part of my depression makes me pull away from all those I love. I feel not worthy and a real burden.When I get confronted with an issue in my relationship that generally has... View more

Wanted to say Hi and see if anyone can give me some ideas on how I can cope. Part of my depression makes me pull away from all those I love. I feel not worthy and a real burden.When I get confronted with an issue in my relationship that generally has nothing to do with me I instantly internalise it and feel that Im the one to blame. So much so that I run. And by run I mean get on my bike and hit the road with no clue on where Im going. My poor partner of 2.5yrs has had this happen to him 3 times and the 3rd time was too much for him. As a result I am now alone. Because no amount of saying sorry this time will fix the hurt I have caused him. I wish I wasn't the way I am.

Lauryn I need support and help
  • replies: 1

My daughter has been removed from me for 8 months now and there is so much dodgy stuff going on in the system in doing everything I can but they don't seem to want to help with reunification anyone know anything about the system that can help? Please... View more

My daughter has been removed from me for 8 months now and there is so much dodgy stuff going on in the system in doing everything I can but they don't seem to want to help with reunification anyone know anything about the system that can help? Please I'm desperate

Countthestars Separated after first baby
  • replies: 1

I don't know how this happened, I have just had my first baby 7 months old, and found my husband has been seeing prostitutes and taking drugs for the past 5 months, Im in so much shock I can't eat or sleep and feel like my world is falling apart. I a... View more

I don't know how this happened, I have just had my first baby 7 months old, and found my husband has been seeing prostitutes and taking drugs for the past 5 months, Im in so much shock I can't eat or sleep and feel like my world is falling apart. I am trying to do everything possible to be here for my baby. We have been together 7 1/2 years married for 1 1/2. I have kicked him out of our home, I am so confused and hurt I am unsure if he has been dealing with depression after the baby as he disconnected completely I have basicly raised our baby on my own. He is saying he still wants to be married and has started seeing a psychologist. I have no idea what I should do right now

Else27 Mum of 2 new speration my head is a mess
  • replies: 2

I don't know what to do but here goes... It's been almost a month since I found out that my partner and the father of my two babies had been sleeping with people behind my back. About a week before my youngest was born I received a message from someo... View more

I don't know what to do but here goes... It's been almost a month since I found out that my partner and the father of my two babies had been sleeping with people behind my back. About a week before my youngest was born I received a message from someone who told me he had been sleeping with people behind my back long before I had my first born and continues to sleep with anyone when I'm not around. He denied and convinced me that he wouldn't do it as he knew I'd walk away with the kids and we were his world. A couple months ago I told him that after I had second baby I considered not coming back as I felt so low, and I didn't know whether I should trust him, he sat there and cried. For almost a year it had always played on my mind. We were in the process of buying a home which we would be able to watch child grow up together, making plans for the future. As we were waiting for the loan and everything to go through myself and the kids had been living at my pArents place. A few days before my birthday we were traveling back to see him after he had been away working. We stopped for the night and my toddler thought his dad was there he was so excited to see him again, so we rang him he sounded quiet like he didn't want anyone to hear him talking to us. He told us he'd loved us couldn't wait to see us the next day and hang up the phone. A few hours later I received a message from the friend of a girl he'd been sleeping with, telling me everything. How he was telling her he loved her and that she was waiting for him. I rang him he denied it, told me people were trying to come between us. I sent him a photo of the message and tried to ring again. He turned the phone off. He finally told me the day after he could resist, and he had to go. We have gone from talking most days when he was working to nothing, hasn't even asked about the kids I don't know if he even wants anything to do with them. People have come forward and told me he had been doing it the whole time we were together almost 5 years. It feels like a waste. I just don't understand how someone knowing what he was doing allowed 2 kids to come into the world. It took me 11months to fall pregnant with my first. And talking about the future, why bother committing to buy a house when he didn't want to be with us? He thinks he can just walk away like nothing ever happened, while I'm breaking down watching my 2 kids ask for dad and he's out enjoying life partying like we were absolutely nothing to him.