New to BB and find myself alone.

[Flaca1974]

Wanted to say Hi and see if anyone can give me some ideas on how I can cope. Part of my depression makes me pull away from all those I love. I feel not worthy and a real burden.When I get confronted with an issue in my relationship that generally has nothing to do with me I instantly internalise it and feel that Im the one to blame. So much so that I run. And by run I mean get on my bike and hit the road with no clue on where Im going. My poor partner of 2.5yrs has had this happen to him 3 times and the 3rd time was too much for him. As a result I am now alone. Because no amount of saying sorry this time will fix the hurt I have caused him. I wish I wasn't the way I am.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Flaca1974,

Thanks for writing in and sharing your story. I'm so sorry that you've had to deal with this.

Are you seeing a therapist at the moment; is this something that you've considered doing?

I know from my own experience depression tells me that I'm not enough and not worthy and a burden on everyone that I know. But for me, I have to work really hard to challenge that and say well what does worthy look like? Only then I realise saying "I'm not worthy" is silly. If you think about it worthy isn't a place or a goal - it's just a word. You are already worthy and you were born worthy. You don't have to do anything to be worthy.

I hope that this is a little bit helpful. You may not have a boyfriend at the moment but that doesn't mean you are alone in this.