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Conflicted heart

Community Member
I've being having relationship problems for the past few months and often thought about leaving him but stayed because I was worried he would kill himself. I was crying all the time and worried about him because he wouldn't talk to me and showed little affection. Finally I had enough and decided to end the relationship, but when I saw him I just couldn't so I said if he could show me he would change then maybe we could try again, he agreed then ignored me for nearly a week. When I saw him at work (we work together) I was upset and let it show, though probably too much. I wanted to talk after work and apologize for how I treated him, he said no, it was clear how I felt and that it was over. Since then I have been thinking about the relationship and how I felt, I still care about him and want to be with him, but I also remember how being with him made me feel, I was always sad and there were very few happy moments. He was very selfish and always thought about himself, never asking how I was or caring if I had a bad day. I don't know why I still want to be with him because I have a list of why it was a bad relationship. Then last night I had a dream that we were together and were having a baby a beautiful little boy we were happy and smiling and I wanted to wake up because I knew it wouldn't happen but at the same time I wanted to stay in it so bad that it made me cry. I don't know what to do... ever since he ended it he has ignored me and brushed off my attempts to talk to him, I tell my self that he is not worth it but my heart still aches thinking about him.
1 Reply 1

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Oh sweety im so sorry ur going thru this right now. Im Venessa. They're is a saying if u love something let it go and if it comes back itc was meant to be. Time is the healer of all things. It sounds like he has a lot of self discovery to do and only he can do it for himself no one else. It is always heartbreaking to watch someone you spiral but it is in these times they seek help. In the meantime you don't deserve to feel sad all the time u need to be stuff ub enjoy in life so i would do while he isc trying to sort himself out. Can u tell if he has any support networks he can reach out to during this time of need? xx