Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Helenmc Are there ever any happy reconciliations?
  • replies: 7

I've read a lot of personal stories the last few days and I've never read a feel good ending . is it all negative and doom and gloom? surely there's got to be stories out there where people have reunited and it's worked out? would love to read some .... View more

I've read a lot of personal stories the last few days and I've never read a feel good ending . is it all negative and doom and gloom? surely there's got to be stories out there where people have reunited and it's worked out? would love to read some . Helen

Leonie230 For those who have betrayed and being betrayed. A question for you.
  • replies: 7

Im struggling with being betrayed by my husband. Im trying to keep our family together since this has happened. We are both actively trying to repair the damage hes done and wants his family back again. My question is does the person who did the betr... View more

Im struggling with being betrayed by my husband. Im trying to keep our family together since this has happened. We are both actively trying to repair the damage hes done and wants his family back again. My question is does the person who did the betrayl deep down think their partner is an idiot for wanting to repair the brokenness? Sometimes I feel that he must just look at me sometimes and think what a idiot I am for not walking away completely. Leonie

Bobby41677 Lonely and lost
  • replies: 4

I've cane on here to talk to people who might understand. My son got sick and almost died, it made my wife rethink our relationship and she left me, taking custody of the kids. Lost my house too and everything else.bthey we're the only family I had, ... View more

I've cane on here to talk to people who might understand. My son got sick and almost died, it made my wife rethink our relationship and she left me, taking custody of the kids. Lost my house too and everything else.bthey we're the only family I had, I have no friends or even acquantices. I now go up to weeks with no one to talk too, I'm just feeling completely alone in my life

melissam76 He wants the party life & tells me Im boring cos i stay home & care for our 6 year old
  • replies: 4

Hi there, 10 years into our relationship & my partner is out at least 3 nights a week till very very late (playing darts?) he thinks Im boring as I stay home with our 6 year old daughter who is a real challenge to say the least. He puts me down all t... View more

Hi there, 10 years into our relationship & my partner is out at least 3 nights a week till very very late (playing darts?) he thinks Im boring as I stay home with our 6 year old daughter who is a real challenge to say the least. He puts me down all the time, we manage a caravan park with his mum & step dad and he constantly tells me Im useless and makes me feel incompetent. To cut a long story short, Im drained, maybe even broken. I have gone from a strong girl to an emotional wreck. I have no family close by, they live interstate so Im pretty alone.

Sobrokenup Husband admitted chatting online with a girl overseas for a month and wants to meet her & have a long distance relationship with her
  • replies: 9

Am I a fool for staying? At the beginning of June my husband told me he loves someone in America that he has been chatting with online.They have only chatted for one month! They have sent each other a couple photos and also do voice messages. He is a... View more

Am I a fool for staying? At the beginning of June my husband told me he loves someone in America that he has been chatting with online.They have only chatted for one month! They have sent each other a couple photos and also do voice messages. He is at home all day messaging her while I am at work. He also stays up all hours of the night messaging her. I am staying because financially I cannot live anywhere else. I am not an Australian citizen we are from NZ. We also have a son who thinks the absolute world of his Dad. I have no family here just a few friends, but they are not super close to me. He has said he will look after my son & me and visit the girl frequently... if him & the girl don't work out he said maybe we could get back together... He is sleeping in another room...I don't know where the doting husband & father to my son has gone. This is simply totally shocking and heart breaking..... Tonight I broke into tears & said I can't take his coldness & anger towards me anymore. He now talks to me like I'm a stranger or at times even worse than a dog.. I said sometimes I feel like just taking my son & moving back to NZ. But my heart breaks for my son knowing that he would hate to be away from his Dad......And the real killer for me is that tonight he said if that's what I really want I should do it!!! Without even any hesitation or thoughts for his own child's little heart breaking.......he acted like he could careless. This is shocking behaviour each day I am seeing a new different ugly side to this man. One month ago he was so loving and just the ultimate family man. How can this happen?

Cherryorchard A bit lonely and confused... what to do from here?
  • replies: 12

Hi everyone, I am new to BB and I am just looking for advice and support. I have a great life, but just the last month I am starting to feel really lonely and blue. I was born in a small family and all my life have intermittently struggled with bouts... View more

Hi everyone, I am new to BB and I am just looking for advice and support. I have a great life, but just the last month I am starting to feel really lonely and blue. I was born in a small family and all my life have intermittently struggled with bouts of loneliness. My dad has bipolar and that has given me some childhood trauma, although overall he is a good guy but it was hard sometimes. Because my hubby and I moved around quite a bit and I have changed jobs fairly regularly I don't have a large network of local friends. I do try my best, and have met some people through my kids kinder/school/playgroup and also I walk with a lady in our street. I try to keep contact with my friends from earlier years too but they are fairly far away and busy with their own life. I have a brother who is lovely but he is very busy and not awesome with emotional stuff so he is not able to really give me the companionship I crave either.... I am so fortunate to have a wonderful husband and children and hobbies etc that I am passionate about, and financially things are good. But I still feel so alone sometimes and I often feel like I am the one reaching out to others, I just wish more times it was other people taking the initiative so I didn't feel like I am always pushing myself on other people. It's like I always want more than people can give. I am starting to have some dark/negative thoughts and feel worthless and it's not great. I really appreciate any advice- especially in regards to friendship, making a support network etc. Thank you so much to those who read this.

K2 Being shut out
  • replies: 7

Hi, how do people overcome the feelings one experiences when your partner shuts you out of their life...it’s only been days for me but I can’t eat or sleep. I don’t know what she is feeling at all. It was entirely my fault for this outcome. I’m askin... View more

Hi, how do people overcome the feelings one experiences when your partner shuts you out of their life...it’s only been days for me but I can’t eat or sleep. I don’t know what she is feeling at all. It was entirely my fault for this outcome. I’m asking for peoples help with coping strategies please. I have found if I write letters it helps me temporarily...

Morpork79 Trailing spouse
  • replies: 7

I'm in a bit of a spot. Australia is great, it's an awesome country but it's not home . I moved here towards the start of 2017. I followed my academic partner after some time doing long distance. This was not a move i did easily, I left a job I loved... View more

I'm in a bit of a spot. Australia is great, it's an awesome country but it's not home . I moved here towards the start of 2017. I followed my academic partner after some time doing long distance. This was not a move i did easily, I left a job I loved (admin), was well respected in the firm & had moved up. I had a year in my new position which was testing but when things got easier for me my partner put the pressure on for me to move. I think he was worried I would stay. Initially his contract was only for a year but it keeps being moved out. Me....ive found it difficult to settle here. I'm in my late thirties and was set up to purchase my own home. Work wise I've found it difficult. I've gone from being high functioning to suffering anxiety & unable to stick at a job. I left the first one due to having a unprofesdional bullying boss. Almost a year in I'm missing my home country more and more. At this stage in life we should be thinking about a family (which we need treatment for); instead I'm dealing with anxiety and wondering what on earth I'm going to do career wise now. I miss my lifestyle back home, and worry that I should be spending time with my parents who are in their senior years. A job came up back in our home country (6 hours drive) and initially my partner was going to apply. Now he's saying that he's on a better gig here. I feel I'm in a no win situation & there is no end date, I've never had depression before and I think it's triggered by this situation. If I make him move home I worry that he will resent me, if I don't I will be miserable. I'm starting to think the only solution is for me to end it with him which will be painful. Financially this move has been so bad for me.

countrybride feeling lost
  • replies: 3

I don't really know how to start..which may just be the crux of the issue. I come from a family that ironically is rubbish at communicating (ironic because my dad is a counsellor that specialises in relationships). I have recently married an amazing ... View more

I don't really know how to start..which may just be the crux of the issue. I come from a family that ironically is rubbish at communicating (ironic because my dad is a counsellor that specialises in relationships). I have recently married an amazing man who seems to be more comfortable sitting in silence. I don't know how to start opening up to him, which I really need to do. Recently I've been feeling broken and emotional because despite how hard we try, we can't seem to get pregnant. I've been trying to hide how much this is hurting me so that I don't become a burden or "too much to handle". I know he knows something is wrong, but because neither of us is amazing at this talking thing, I'm sure you can imagine how well that's going. It seems to be growing harder to deal with it recently; I'm not one that cries, but I seem to be crying at the drop of a hat. It isn't helped by the fact that my husband deals with illness and issues by shutting himself off. So now that I need physical contact and emotional support, He doesn't know how to do that for me. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to start communicating or coping strategies? I'm sorry about the word dump, but I need help. I have become adept at putting happy faces on at work, I really don't want to be wearing them at home.

Mum_to_3_girls Dealing with a volitile 13 year old without turning into a blubbering mess
  • replies: 5

My 13 year old daughter is a handful. She has always been a full on kid right from the moment she entered the world, it’s just her personality. She is very reactive and loud and quite self centred. Her entry into high school this year has not been a ... View more

My 13 year old daughter is a handful. She has always been a full on kid right from the moment she entered the world, it’s just her personality. She is very reactive and loud and quite self centred. Her entry into high school this year has not been a smooth one but she is slowly finding her feet after a lot of grief from our end. The problems arise when she looses her temper or mouths off. She always needs to have the last say. I then lose my temper and yell at her which then creates a big argument. She goes to school in tears, my partner and I argue because he tells me he doesn’t want to be around this tense situation and doesn’t want the baby to be either (he is 13 year olds step father) I call in sick to work because I can’t cope with life and then end up crying all day because of how shit of a mother I am. Parenting is so hard. I don’t know what I’m doing but everyone is looking to me for answers. Nothing I do is ever good enough and no one ever tells me I am doing a good job. I feel so unworthy and crappy about myself when I am around my family. At work I am bright, bubbly, smart, someone people look to for guidance and they voice their appreciation when I provide it. How can I be two different people. Im so lost.