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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Amino_Acids Dealing with BPD and A Breakup.
  • replies: 3

ThoughtsLast night I received a text from my girlfriend saying why we need to take a break and I agreed to it but a few minutes later, her friend texted me and said that this guy confessed to her and she accepted it. Immediately I had a strong urge t... View more

ThoughtsLast night I received a text from my girlfriend saying why we need to take a break and I agreed to it but a few minutes later, her friend texted me and said that this guy confessed to her and she accepted it. Immediately I had a strong urge to through my phone into my closet. I felt betrayed and enraged. 'She never loved me' I told myself. I went back to text my girlfriend saying that I know about this and that it was if 'she wanted to break up with me' and she responded saying that she 'fell out of it' and that she was sorry, saying she didn't want me to feel bad and that I was precious to her. She also said she would never ever hate me. But what I don't understand is, if you love someone, why in the world would you leave them? And I still don't understand that. I cried all night, my body aching, yet numb, my heart hurting and my mind, well, an emotional wreck. I knew what was the difference between love and infatuation, and I genuinely loved her and she felt the same way. I sacrificed so much for her. I cried and cried until my friends called me for 2 hours saying that they love me. When I went to school, I cried the whole the day and pretty much hugged everyone in the year group. I didn't see my... ex-girlfriend today because she had a mental breakdown and had to go home. I called her to give me her promise ring back and she did and I gave her all the letters and gifts she gave me. This was a year and a half worth of my life, gone. Now she has a boyfriend and now, I have no one. Even though I was extremely angry at her I still really love her. In the end, she still wants us to be friends, but it won't feel the same. She will never love me again, no one will ever love me. The last time I called her, I said 'I love you' for the last time. But she immediately said 'Bye.' And I spoke with her current boyfriend, and he's just so much better than me. He said that I should love myself for his sake. I don't know what to do anymore. I just want her to want me back. I want to feel her kisses and hugs and I want her to say 'I love you' again, even if it's just once. She was my first love, but I know there's no one better than her, and everyone is better than me. I feel like I have no future. I feel like I'm just living a lie. I just want someone to love me like that, why is that so hard? Why am I not good enough? Why am I a second choice? Because of this, I never want to fall in love again. Ever. Why doesn't she love me anymore? What should I do?

Rip_Curl Emotional week..
  • replies: 1

Living with myself must be a challenge some days... The last couple of weeks have been 'interesting'. Our dog had a superficial skin injury that required her to go under general anaesthetic to have stitches done. In the same week my partner sprains/s... View more

Living with myself must be a challenge some days... The last couple of weeks have been 'interesting'. Our dog had a superficial skin injury that required her to go under general anaesthetic to have stitches done. In the same week my partner sprains/strains his ankle after falling off the back of his work truck. Emotionally nerve-wracking. When it came to the end of the work week, I sat down with my partner and said that I just want to cry (regarding the events from the past week). His response was that he didn't want anyone to feel sorry for him and that he didn't want any emotional support. This caught me offguard initially, until I realised that it may have been his ego 'talking'. Nevertheless, it hurt that my empathy and consoling wasn't wanted/needed by him. The week following his emotional comment, I was quiet, he didn't talk much and it took everything in my willpower to stop myself from showing any emotion -I didn't know what to do until....I read a friends facebook post that it's 'ok' to 'feel and care' about someone/something. After reading that I went to my partner and said 'you can tell me to not care, but it doesn't work'. Up until that point he would sleep away from me, said that I could go (on my own) to visit my family in Brisbane and that he didn't have to go. Thought he was trying to get rid of me...that he didn't want to be with me anymore. I was wrong....communication is important so that one's mindset doesn't run away with them.

Sometimes at a loss Pregnant, moving house, partner suffering severe depression etc
  • replies: 4

Hi, My first time here but im at a loss at the moment. I feel a little lost. 1st of all we have building a house most of which the running around has been done by me. We are now nearing completion thankfully but we are also now expecting a baby in a ... View more

Hi, My first time here but im at a loss at the moment. I feel a little lost. 1st of all we have building a house most of which the running around has been done by me. We are now nearing completion thankfully but we are also now expecting a baby in a few weeks also. The baby was unplanned, not unwanted, but unplanned in fact we were trying to be careful given all the house stuff etc. But this lil tavker had other ideas. We have an 8yr old son as well. Anyway i am a type 2 diabetic as well as being over weight so the pregnancy is a high risk one amd in the beginning the doctor was pushing to get me into the clinic asap and ki da freaked me out a little. Now i realise the risks associated with my health issues, but i have found that i am now petrified of becoming hospitalised and things going wrong towards the end of it.... well any day now really. With all the added stress. Which in itself brings a higher risk of raised blood pressure, pre eclampsia etc My other half has had to change jobs to an area where he is miserable and even though he is a great guy, he is in no headspace to help me. Which sucks to put it nicely. So basically we are stuck living in A 6x6 room, the 3 of us and due to issues with the build have been here longer than intended. That is straining all our relationships in certain ways. And now to top it off my son is refusing to go to school. Im seriously stuck. Im trying to keep the stress levels down to take care of myself and this baby... while organising everything to finish the house, keep the other halfs head above water, keep the family happy, etc. I just dont know what to do anymore.

Emzxx Where do I go..
  • replies: 6

My fiancé abruptly left 3 months ago, she didn’t explain what was going on and it left me in a horrible position but somehow in her head it all made sense? mental health has always been on the cards and throughout our relationship I did mention thing... View more

My fiancé abruptly left 3 months ago, she didn’t explain what was going on and it left me in a horrible position but somehow in her head it all made sense? mental health has always been on the cards and throughout our relationship I did mention things she’s got terrible anxiety and OCD. She scared me by going to the police and we didn’t speak at all for 6 weeks, I then received a message saying she will be back at our house as per normal and this shocked me.. I said we need to have a talk before this happens and we did and everything started pouring our, we were both so sad and still loved each other very much. She tried to come back home and be normal and it just didn’t work and was traumatic for me because every time she left I couldn’t trust if she was coming back. Over the last two months it’s been a roller coaster, she’s told me she’s started seeing a psychologist and that she wants to transition home.. that never happen and now she just comes and stays when she wants. Finacially we each aren’t in a good spot and it’s been tough, she’s very irritable and can explode at the drop of a hat and I’m walking on eggshells. Her mind changes so easily and she says things that are so open to interpretation and it becomes difficult and ends in utter confusion. She’s now telling me we are just friends and that she wants to work on herself and I work on myself and we spend time together, last week we went to dinner and she stayed over and it ended in a fight because I had to bring up a couple of financial things. Shes constantly tried, she will tell me she’s just not having a good day and that she can’t talk to me, she’ll change her mind last minute, she’s always trying to process information and struggles to communicate. Things change constantly and it’s so difficult for me, I feel like I’m the closest person to her so I’m taking the brunt of her anger.. how can I effectively communicate with her and let her know even though I’m hurt it’s safe and that she’s loved without expectation? She feels pressure from absolutely anything and it’s very difficult for me to understand this. Im trying really hard to stand by her.

MisterM People at uni don't want to know me + my abusive mother
  • replies: 7

Hi, I haven't been on here for a while but lately things have been getting on top of me so I am back. I've been feeling depressed for 2 or so weeks because of people at uni avoiding me and just being unfriendly. I have tried, I say hello, I introduce... View more

Hi, I haven't been on here for a while but lately things have been getting on top of me so I am back. I've been feeling depressed for 2 or so weeks because of people at uni avoiding me and just being unfriendly. I have tried, I say hello, I introduced myself to a few people but people just avoid me, they'll walk past me and not say hello. If they see that I saw them they'll give a fake smile and their face just shows they don't want to talk to me. Or they give a hello that is cold in tone, not friendly. It's left me feeling so alone and hating myself because people don't want to know me. And I've been thinking about how my life is just aimless. I mean I am at uni and have one more year left then maybe postgrad but I just feel like it's not for me anymore. I don't know what my purpose or passion is. Also, my mother has been nasty to me lately. She keeps saying she is ashamed of me being 34, single with no kids. She is embarrassed that a couple on our street found out I am 34 with no wife and no kids after I spoke with them, it's caused her to become pretty hostile towards me. I've had enough. When noone wants to know you and dislike you at uni and also your mum is ashamed of you what does that say? This is keeping my mind off my uni work, I have exams coming up soon and cannot focus or bring myself to study because my mind is occupied with these issues I am having.

Australianbelle When he doesnt love you anymore...
  • replies: 1

So my Fiancè of three years has just told me he doesnt love me anymore. I love him so much...this hurts so bad. Weve built a life together and now it's just crumbled. I'm scared and confused and dont know what to do. I'm a full time uni student and r... View more

So my Fiancè of three years has just told me he doesnt love me anymore. I love him so much...this hurts so bad. Weve built a life together and now it's just crumbled. I'm scared and confused and dont know what to do. I'm a full time uni student and rely on his income (I cant get centrelink either). I cant drive because I'm legally blind so hes the person who drives me. This is crushing and I live in the country with no public transport so its destroyed my chances of getting a job...or even getting to uni. I cant even afford to go now. I also have no friends or family I can talk to (I have no friends in general). I built my life around him. Moved to where he wanted (where theres bo public transport) and do my best to contribute to bills (even selling my beloved pets just so I can help out). What do I do?!

AnnieK Porn Addicted Partner
  • replies: 9

I have just discovered my husband of 40 years has been addicted to porn for about 9 years. Can you imagine. This is a man I loved and adored.I am shocked, so devastated and am only managing my life day to day. I knew something was terribly wrong when... View more

I have just discovered my husband of 40 years has been addicted to porn for about 9 years. Can you imagine. This is a man I loved and adored.I am shocked, so devastated and am only managing my life day to day. I knew something was terribly wrong when intimacy stopped. I feel like a fool to believe all his excuses from work load, tired, prostate issues even the death of a family member. My life as I knew it has been destoyed. He gas started counselling and wants to be a better man. All help out there is for addicts ! Where is help for the spouses suffering such trauma. Please help me.

Frangi14 No one knows I'm depressed
  • replies: 1

Hi First time posting on these forums. I feel tired and unmotivated most of the time and Im wondering if Im actually depressed.When I see friends and family I pretend Im ok but Im not.I have a job and when Im there I make out Im all good.At home alon... View more

Hi First time posting on these forums. I feel tired and unmotivated most of the time and Im wondering if Im actually depressed.When I see friends and family I pretend Im ok but Im not.I have a job and when Im there I make out Im all good.At home alone I feel terrible.Im 45 and feel liked Ive achieved nothing.Everyone else around me seems successful and doing things with their lives.My partner is a good man but I believe he drinks too much.I don't feel like I love him anymore and would prefer to be on my own.We have a 13 year old son together.We are total opposites and he can be very domineering at times.I have to force myself to socialize and do housework.Sick of feeling like crap

Breegirl Feeling anxious - need to know it will be OK
  • replies: 14

I have posted onto these forums already regarding leaving my husband and how I DO it Today I am extremely anxious and depressed - last week I tried to again leave him, he just doesn't want to hear it, then threatens to take everything and leave me wi... View more

I have posted onto these forums already regarding leaving my husband and how I DO it Today I am extremely anxious and depressed - last week I tried to again leave him, he just doesn't want to hear it, then threatens to take everything and leave me with nothing, lots of other stuff. He is going overseas in 3 weeks for work, I am going to pack up and move into a rental with my 2 kids, more time to do it, less traumatic on the kids and myself. I know it sounds harsh but if I try to do it now he will make it difficult. I have to 'play the game' for the moment, play happy families thinking everything is OK - I haven't been happy for a long long time, always making sure other people are doing okay forgetting about myself.....I think that is why I am struggling as this is out of my character to up and leave and I am looking for reassurance, not saying I need it but when I feel this way it is what I look for....... Has anyone else had to do a similar thing?