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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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bayside14 Found out wife has std
  • replies: 5

hi folks, bit of background I’ve been with my wife for 16 years married for 15 . We have two kids now teenagers. my wife is in mid 40s been having a few issues- we thought her body was going into menopause. She went and got checked out by the doc and... View more

hi folks, bit of background I’ve been with my wife for 16 years married for 15 . We have two kids now teenagers. my wife is in mid 40s been having a few issues- we thought her body was going into menopause. She went and got checked out by the doc and she has a STD . Is being tested for other things as well. it has been doing my head in though how she can get a std after all these years . I have been loyal to her never been in a relationship outside of marriage etc. we actually work together too.she seems to think she has had it all along before she met me . Though I have not asked the dreaded question if she has been unfaithful- should I refrain from asking and take her word on this or ask her and cause conflict. I actually don’t know what to do .

Braveatheart Found out hubby hit on my friend?
  • replies: 1

Well first time poster here and feel the need to express how much hurt and pain I'm feeling right now. Hubby of 20yrs with 2 now teenagers and living a comfortable lifestyle all is Rosie with the usual ups n downs married couples have that we normall... View more

Well first time poster here and feel the need to express how much hurt and pain I'm feeling right now. Hubby of 20yrs with 2 now teenagers and living a comfortable lifestyle all is Rosie with the usual ups n downs married couples have that we normally work through and get on with life. This time I feel I can't forgive and forget going forward after finding out 6yrs later my hubby hit on my friend one night when we went out he tried to kiss her and she pulled away and told him not to go there which she says he backed off. But this same night the pair of them didn't come back home till early hours in the morning and I've always sensed something happened between them that night. I have even had re-occuring dreams this has been niggling deep down inside me for yrs. So as things haven't been that great of late between hubby & I, I find myself reaching out to my old friend who I don't see that much anymore bc of lifestyle changes ect and asked her to be honest with me if hubby hit on her that night. She replied with yes he did he leaned in for a kiss on the dance floor but she didn't take it and further and that was it. She told me 3wks later hubby ran into her and apologised for his behaviour but I can't help but think more went on. She said the incident was put behind them and never discussed again. She didn't feel it was important to tell me and cause a drama bc she felt he was drunk and made a mistake. I don't know how to process this information and if one could say this is classes as cheating on his wife? I've been with this man for 20+yrs love him deeply but recently had my eyes opened and I've become aware that this 20+yrs have I been under a 'gaslight' as everytime when I tell him about certain things how they hurt me emotionally he tells me I need to get help I've mental health problems and I create alot of things up in my head and make a drama of them. I duno what do you guys think? Don't sugar coat it tell me your thoughts.

4300 Not sure what to do
  • replies: 2

Hi there, I have been struggling some time now with my own thoughts and self negative thinking. I think for a while I kept putting it off thinking it was just a bad day, however more recently it’s become aparent to me that through mediation I was fee... View more

Hi there, I have been struggling some time now with my own thoughts and self negative thinking. I think for a while I kept putting it off thinking it was just a bad day, however more recently it’s become aparent to me that through mediation I was feeling better. So now when I feel like how I felt before starting mediation I realise just how down and anxious I felt. I know this is now affecting my relationship with my fiancée and I want to get help. I just don’t know how or what to do any help or advice would be great.

TuffCookie Lovely husband, but I have fallen for someone else
  • replies: 3

I have been married for almost 5 years to a loving and caring husband. But for a few years, I have been feeling that I do not love him the same way he does me, and that we are two very different people. We could both do better. I have felt this for a... View more

I have been married for almost 5 years to a loving and caring husband. But for a few years, I have been feeling that I do not love him the same way he does me, and that we are two very different people. We could both do better. I have felt this for a while now but haven’t really put too much thought into it. Until recently, I bumped into someone I had feelings for a few years ago and I felt the feelings were back. We spoke briefly and he also confessed that he has feelings for me too, but we have to forget about it because I’m married. I am now hating myself for feeling this way, especially since my husband is a lovely person. I feel I’m a horrible person, I don’t want to hurt him but I also don’t want to stay. However, I feel he deserves better. Has anyone been in a similar situation and what did they do about it?

CherryOnTop I've become a crutch
  • replies: 1

My family is a mess. My estranged sibling (we're both middle aged) has all sorts of issues and my parents can't agree on how to handle it. He's not very nice and my mum sees that but my dad doesn't It's ruined their marriage but, because of their age... View more

My family is a mess. My estranged sibling (we're both middle aged) has all sorts of issues and my parents can't agree on how to handle it. He's not very nice and my mum sees that but my dad doesn't It's ruined their marriage but, because of their age and financial arrangements, they won't separate. My dad really bullies my mum and says nasty things to her and spends their retirement savings without asking her. He also shows little concern for her wellbeing. She has medical issues and he doesn't seem to care and when she says the stress makes it worse it has no effect on him. My mum and I get on well and have a lot of hobbies in common. I have tried to be supportive, although I am emotionally involved and sometimes I have to take a step back for my own sake. However, lately I feel like I am being used as a crutch. My mum wants to spend so so so much time with me doing specified activities and it's stifling. And if I say no, even if she only gave me short notice, then she brings out the emotional blackmail about how it will be one of the only things that makes her happy relentlessly until I give in or she gets super angry at me. If I ignore her then she just bombards me with calls and e-mails. Also "I'm stressed" or "I'm busy" or "I want to relax" are not valid excuses. Only a confirmed pre-existing appointment will do. She also keeps on buying things or do favours for me that I can do myself. I say yes because it makes her feel useful and hey, if I can cut down on some expenses in this current time then fine. But then she uses it to guilt me into doing things. I love her and I enjoy doing activities with her and I do feel sorry for her. But I also have my own stressors and commitments and I don't want to be used as a comfort blanket. But then I feel guilty when I say no. Advice?

SarBear_JT Ex best friend
  • replies: 4

Hey all I need some advice I have this ex best friend of 11yrs whom I haven’t spoken to in a year or two as I spent a lot of time helping her and I found out she slept with my boyfriend. She’s now trying to come back into my life asking for help and ... View more

Hey all I need some advice I have this ex best friend of 11yrs whom I haven’t spoken to in a year or two as I spent a lot of time helping her and I found out she slept with my boyfriend. She’s now trying to come back into my life asking for help and I’m not sure if I give her another chance or not as everytime I do she always shows me why I shouldn’t. I really wanna help her but is she taking advantage of my kindness? Do I help her or do I say enough is enough till she starts helping herself ?

Snowman02 No one knows about my mental health issues.
  • replies: 6

I've been seeing therapists over the course of 7+ years, I've been diagnosed with depression and Body dysmorphic disorder amongst other issues, and I've been on medication for over a year. Thing is my wife and son know nothing of this. I'm not sure w... View more

I've been seeing therapists over the course of 7+ years, I've been diagnosed with depression and Body dysmorphic disorder amongst other issues, and I've been on medication for over a year. Thing is my wife and son know nothing of this. I'm not sure why I've never told them about this, maybe for fear of looking weak. Obviously I do a very good job of hiding it well. To be honest, I wouldn't know where to start with telling them. The therapists have often said I need to tell my wife, as some of my issues are marriage related. Thing is my wife has little empathy when it comes to mental health, and has a dim view of therapy. Has anyone else been in a similar situation, and did you manage to come clean. If so, how?

J_xlx making family proud
  • replies: 6

i constantly look for my dads approval make my dad proud my test scores are never good enough im not good enough at sports the only time my dad was ever proud of me unconditionally was when i made a state team

i constantly look for my dads approval make my dad proud my test scores are never good enough im not good enough at sports the only time my dad was ever proud of me unconditionally was when i made a state team

gazbuild 12yr marriage struggles
  • replies: 3

Hi all, not sure where to start with this as I’ve never asked anyone for help. I have two boys 9 & 6, my wife and I seem to be struggling to connect and find time for each other. It turned into an argument where we described our feelings. She is curr... View more

Hi all, not sure where to start with this as I’ve never asked anyone for help. I have two boys 9 & 6, my wife and I seem to be struggling to connect and find time for each other. It turned into an argument where we described our feelings. She is currently working part time and studying, I work full time and being enough coin that we are comfortable. The reason for this info is she can’t say no to additional days at work and I feel it is coming between us as the daytime activities get pushed into the nights and as such the time disappears. Her response is that i have been working to much. Being self employed this is a hard thing to judge as I just want to provide for my family. I know I have anger issues when I’m hungry and have a short temper T these times also. It would seem I keep stepping in it and I feel things are getting worse. Not sure how to better explain this but I feel like I need something as I am more and more feeling, what’s the point, under appreciated, overwhelmed and more and more like I’m just a bad egg. Help

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