Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Tokyo Is there anyone left in the world?
  • replies: 2

Hello everybody, I'm looking for people that I can speak to, I'm basically going through rough times right now COVID- lockdowns, putting up with abuse in lockdown is worse than going to jail. just moved interstate to VIC from a country town, also put... View more

Hello everybody, I'm looking for people that I can speak to, I'm basically going through rough times right now COVID- lockdowns, putting up with abuse in lockdown is worse than going to jail. just moved interstate to VIC from a country town, also putting up with abuse everyday I can't even think to text this message right because I'm so stressed and anxious ECT

JFree My husband is not the man I married
  • replies: 2

We have been married for 3 years, together for 5. Previously I was in a very abusive 14 year relationship. When I met my husband, we were both going through court with our ex’s. He was amazing. From the start, he was my rock, even though he was going... View more

We have been married for 3 years, together for 5. Previously I was in a very abusive 14 year relationship. When I met my husband, we were both going through court with our ex’s. He was amazing. From the start, he was my rock, even though he was going through a similar situation. He was so kind and gentle, opposite of everything I have every experienced. He recognised my undiagnosed PTSD and severe anxiety and helped me get the therapy and treatment I needed, (I came from a family and relationship culture that shamed and ridiculed mental health issues). We both have children from our previous relationships and he quickly became my children’s hero. They adore him to this day. We share common goals and are very focussed hard working people. We have smashed our goals in the last few years and seem to everyone on the outside like the ultimate happy couple. The first two years of our relationship was the happiest time of my life. My new partner was amazing in every way. He doted on our collective children, (his and mine) and was /sometimes still is, amazing with my oldest son who struggles with his relationship with his own father and has some resulting behaviour, (control and anger issues and defiance due to inconsistent expectations and unfair or over the top discipline from his father). Then we got married. That very night I found out from his family that my new husband had been a raging alcoholic most if his life before meeting me. He didn’t even drink in the whole two years we were together previous to our wedding night. He sure made up for it. He got absolutely blind. I felt so alone at our wedding. His wedding. He planned it, spent much more than I wanted to and guilt tripped me into “compromising”on the court house wedding or elopement I wanted and getting me to agree on a ‘small’ gathering. Then invited his entire Sicilian family. At this time I was still very much unwell and suffered badly from social anxiety and paranoia, which he knew and pretended to be understanding of. When we got to our accommodation he was so disgustingly drunk. He was clumsy and got rough with me and I got upset and put a halt to it. He promptly passed out and I cried myself to sleep wondering if I had just made a huge mistake. I addressed all of this the next morning when his hangover died down. He was so contrite and sorry, told me he was just excited to be marrying the love of his life and wanted to share it all and admitted that yes he had been a heavy drinker - tbc

Jorj0405 I feel like I upset everyone in my life
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Halloween took a terrible turn. One of my guy friends likes me and I kissed and did other things with his best mate while intoxicated, he now not only hates me but he hates his mate for everything that happened and is telling the whole school about i... View more

Halloween took a terrible turn. One of my guy friends likes me and I kissed and did other things with his best mate while intoxicated, he now not only hates me but he hates his mate for everything that happened and is telling the whole school about it and I dont know what to do. He is a much nicer person then I am making him seem. Along with that my ex boyfriend who I was still catching up with and seeing found out about it and sent me the most terrible message I have ever received in my life and it is quite literally making me want to run away form everyone in my life. I hate hurting people and not only this I am struggling with things at home as well. I don't knoe what to do anymore and I am distraught.

Huggybear Feeling alone and unloved
  • replies: 21

I lost my job and home 2 yrs ago. I was on my own for 10yrs from a divorce. It was the family home of 35yrs. I had packed it all up and done some minor renovations before the sale! I wasnt coping with the job loss initially and the home just added to... View more

I lost my job and home 2 yrs ago. I was on my own for 10yrs from a divorce. It was the family home of 35yrs. I had packed it all up and done some minor renovations before the sale! I wasnt coping with the job loss initially and the home just added to the stress. I reached out to my daughter who is married and I was the main carer for the grandkids for over 10 yrs. All i did was send a text saying I couldnt do it and wasnt coping well! Her reply was a text and not what I expected under the circumstances, her attitude was.. I cant do everything for you!!!! But up until then I had been doing everything myself, so i was taken back with that comment, I started to shut down as I became angry! ended the messaging and soldered on. I was expecting or maybe hoping I would get a call or see her but nothing from that day until 4 months after I sold the house. Nobody knew where I had moved to or any circumstances around that! I couldn't believe how I deserved such disrespect! or even the lack of concern from her if I had a roof over my head!!!!! It has now been two years since, I have seen nor heard from anybody, I miss my grandchildren very much, I walk around all day in a daze from not understanding what the hell did I do!!!!

Oizys It is is like he's died, but the shell of him is still here.
  • replies: 4

A family member is no longer the person I know. That person is gone. They have mental health issues of their own, but it is now evident to me that I cannot keep in contact with them as their problems could impact me professionally. I hate the whole t... View more

A family member is no longer the person I know. That person is gone. They have mental health issues of their own, but it is now evident to me that I cannot keep in contact with them as their problems could impact me professionally. I hate the whole thing, but the Person I knew doesnt exist anymore. I have to find a away of severing the relationship.i fought my way in to be involved in this situation and now I am drowning in my consequences.

KAZ234 Family disconnects.
  • replies: 5

Topic wide OPEN, Would like minded people contribute there experience, find myself estranged from sister. YES many have the same history. How long is to long to reconnect, I am 70 it’s been a number of years not to many I feel. Random text nothing el... View more

Topic wide OPEN, Would like minded people contribute there experience, find myself estranged from sister. YES many have the same history. How long is to long to reconnect, I am 70 it’s been a number of years not to many I feel. Random text nothing else. Life’s short have a happy marriage and wonder do I need to let go. In my heart I know the answer, do you contact to end relationships or just peaceful end. This effects no one but my sister doesn’t myself. KAZ. .

CesiNestPasUnePipe Obsessed with my friend
  • replies: 2

This is sort of an issue I haven't been able to fund much info on and haven't seen others talking about it. But at all times in my life I seem to have one friend who I am OBSESSED with. I think about them all the time, I get really upset when they do... View more

This is sort of an issue I haven't been able to fund much info on and haven't seen others talking about it. But at all times in my life I seem to have one friend who I am OBSESSED with. I think about them all the time, I get really upset when they don't reply to my messages fast and constantly want to send them new messages to tell them what's happening in my life. In the past, this has lead to the friendship breaking down and we no longer speak and now it's happening again and I don't want to lose this friend. But I can't seem to snap out of it for some reason. Like I know that my mood is tied to whether she talks to me or not and how much we talk and I hate it, I'm trying to just do other things to distract me and make plans with other friends but for some reason she's stuck in my head. I'm scared it's some sort of crush which means maybe I'll lose her as my friend because she already has a partner but I don't have any other answers. I just want to separate my emotions from her and not feel sad everytime she is busy and can't respond or feel really happy when she messages me. I don't know, hopefully there's someone here that might be feeling the same thing, I feel really weird about it and don't know how to help make it better .

Mrslmc001 My husband is blaming me for him feeling depressed and has left me
  • replies: 6

My husband has been working away for the last year on and off working up to 17hrs some days driving a semi trailer. First stink in Tasmania for 2 months then we went on a holiday for a week and we’re called and his dad past away he came home and work... View more

My husband has been working away for the last year on and off working up to 17hrs some days driving a semi trailer. First stink in Tasmania for 2 months then we went on a holiday for a week and we’re called and his dad past away he came home and worked flat out then went to work away again working up to 90hrs a week where he works thinks he is the best worker they have ever had and told him he should move there. The weekend covid might have been in Brisbane his boss recommended he stay incase he couldn’t come back. He is supposed to come home every two weeks. He called me upset saying he didn’t know what to do he was in a difficult position but ended up staying. He came home 2 weeks later. We had had words the time before he was home cause all he talked about was his work and how great the people were there I asked him why he bothered coming home which upset him I apologised saying I felt like he didn’t really want to see me. He left saying it was fine and I said I would make it up to him next time he was home. He came home 3 weeks later and told me he was leaving me cause I have depressed him and made him feel like a worthless person and can’t do this anymore with me. 100% my fault not works fault and has put up with me for 10 years and had not been in live with me for 6 months. I had a weekend up there with him 4 weeks prior and everything was fine. What’s has happened to him? Is he exhausted?

Beaser Do You Get Scared Starting a New Relationship.
  • replies: 11

Hi I was wondering is it common to feel nervous and scared when getting into a new relationship. It just terrifies me thinking about how i have been in the past with relationship breakups.I am twelve months into a new relationship that has had some u... View more

Hi I was wondering is it common to feel nervous and scared when getting into a new relationship. It just terrifies me thinking about how i have been in the past with relationship breakups.I am twelve months into a new relationship that has had some ups and downs . I have been open as much as i feel comfortable to talk about ,with my partner regarding my depression and anxiety.It is very scary for me.I guess when you meet someone its easy to gloss over your past single life and look at it with rose coloured glasses and forget about the downsides of being alone. Is it even selfish to bring a person into my life with my depression and anxiety. I hope every one is well . Beaser.

Sadmums Empty Nest Syndrome
  • replies: 4

I have been crying uncontrollably for the past few weeks as my two eldest sons have moved out at within a few weeks of each other. My home has gone from noisy, chaotic, social to just me and my youngest 16 year old who spends most of his time in his ... View more

I have been crying uncontrollably for the past few weeks as my two eldest sons have moved out at within a few weeks of each other. My home has gone from noisy, chaotic, social to just me and my youngest 16 year old who spends most of his time in his room. I am feeling an unbearable grief and feeling that i have lost the family life for ever. I don't know how to cook for just one, to care for just one and just feel empty. Divorced a few years ago so feeling completely alone even though my youngest is here. I have felt grief before but this the worst I have experienced. I have read up on this syndrome and it talks about finding hobbies but I don't want other hobbies. My family was my purpose and what I live for. I have a fullltime job but always did that for my family. I am so desperately sad that I can't sleep.