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PTSD and trauma

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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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SmashingBlueCars Partner with PTSD - Chronic Disorganisation HELP
  • replies: 3

I live in the Hills District NSW with my partner who currently suffers Chronic PTSD & ADHD. He is on workers compensation at the moment, and is not working. He's family kicked him out of his home as their culture doesn't believe in mental illness, an... View more

I live in the Hills District NSW with my partner who currently suffers Chronic PTSD & ADHD. He is on workers compensation at the moment, and is not working. He's family kicked him out of his home as their culture doesn't believe in mental illness, and refused to support him. I rented a house for us so I could take care of him, however just after we moved in, he began impulsive buying and chronic disorganisation & messiness. I hear this is typical for people with mental injuries. He has a regular Psychologist & Psychiatrist but they don't address this issue. We've only been in the house 4 months and the problem is far too big for me to tackle on my own. Once I can clean an area, I come home to find it is back to how it was. I spend what few hours I have after work and my weekends off just cleaning and trying to support his mood swings, make sure he's eating and showering, and try to get him out of the house, only for it all to be undone once I'm back at work. I'm worried we may lose our house come inspection time, as I have nobody to help, I work full time in the CBD with 12hr working days & 2hrs travel time and we cannot afford professional cleaners for the time we would need them. I'm worried even if we did, it may not stay that way for long. I'm told insurance is to pay for cleaning and organising support for people on workers compensation for a mental injury, however his insurance company are being incredibly difficult. They've threatened several times to cut him off. We really need help, but we just can't afford the resources available. Does anybody know if there is a charity group or government assistance program that helps with such matters? I'm desperate.

Set_Me_Free Newbie.... hello, and ....stuff.
  • replies: 10

Hi everyone, I am new here, and just wanted to say hello. I had a huge and very frightening awakening last week...... which has led me here. I have read so much this last week, and it is just so unbelievable that I have been living like this so long ... View more

Hi everyone, I am new here, and just wanted to say hello. I had a huge and very frightening awakening last week...... which has led me here. I have read so much this last week, and it is just so unbelievable that I have been living like this so long (i'm 37 and referring to sustained physical and emotional abuse as a child). I realise now I have become adept at avoidance: life, people, rationalising/normalising my behaviour. What i'm dealing with - it "looks" like PTSD. Complex PTSD. I thought only soldiers experienced this, let alone different types! I have a whole new perspective. Tomorrow I see the GP, get a referral or something. I honestly don't know what I am doing. I have found a psychologist, but the thought makes my hands shake & I want to vomit. The fear is out of control (traumatic experience in childhood with court appointed "counsellors" and so-called "confidentiality". Subsequently things I had said in my sessions were read out, to a courtroom full of people (including my parents) - which led to further abuse, that then led to me being removed from the home. I was placed in some backwater half-way house where I was treated like a criminal, and kept away from the other children, as if I was responsible for the violence. Then I was placed back in my parents home for more). I guess trust issues are a big thing, those people said they would help me. I'll admit, the idea of having an actual diagnoses is validating for me, for the first time that a) I am worthy of help, b) what happened to me was real and terrible, c) it is not my fault and d) there is hope. I guess I am looking for more than a polite introduction, i'm trying to reach out to connect to others who know what this feels like. This is the first time I have had the courage to look back, to do something about this. I am so isolated. I am scared. I have got rid of everything and everyone that reminds me of that time in my life. So many things triggers me. I can't get hot without feeling like I am suffocating. Loud noises. Lights. Smells. Words. Forks. I didn't understand how much this affected my adult life, until I started reading about it, and making the connections. It is a real daily struggle. I've read some of the other threads, and thank you so much for sharing your stories, that is what gave me the strength to call the GP. Wish me luck for tomorrow, and hope that I don't vomit in the waiting room....

krisbow hi everyone I'm new to this seeking help
  • replies: 2

my husband of 7yrs together for 15 has just been diagnosed with ptsd due to a near drowning. my husband is a very gentle none aggressive person we have had pretty cruezy marriage little hiccups along the way ,we own our own business which is extremel... View more

my husband of 7yrs together for 15 has just been diagnosed with ptsd due to a near drowning. my husband is a very gentle none aggressive person we have had pretty cruezy marriage little hiccups along the way ,we own our own business which is extremely busy I'm a shift worker (nurse) .A month ago prior to diagnosis he approached me with I don't love you anymore ,we have always been loving towards each other great sex life I was shocked he continued to live as normal same bed etc , he moved his stuff out but never left himself ,sorry he did for 2 nights.He is now on medication only a week so not even kicked in yet ,a week ago he took me out for dinner asked if I wanted to try and work on our marriage of course I agreed ,he's moved stuff back in things are very weird /painful watching him go through this his daughter 9yrs old they were inseparable he has pushed her away ,my question is can we get through this as family ,honestly I don't what to do I feel like I don't no him he's not there but is . he is seeing councelor next week anyone have any tips for myself /children

Christopher_T Managing Complex+PTSD plus BPD - Acknowledging The Good With The Bad
  • replies: 1

My brilliant trauma therapist always corrects me when I say the last five years have been a life + death battle. She says, "no your whole life has been". I acknowledge that and just learning to recognise my feelings and listen to my gut when trigger ... View more

My brilliant trauma therapist always corrects me when I say the last five years have been a life + death battle. She says, "no your whole life has been". I acknowledge that and just learning to recognise my feelings and listen to my gut when trigger events arise. Triggers come in many forms for me, which I am developing techniques to deal with them, especially when I know a severe trigger event can send me into a potential crisis. For me, the signs are numbness, confusion, emptiness and withdrawing. Severe events I shut down and become catatonic. For years I was surrounded by family (dysfunctional + emotionally detached), shallow friendships and soulless corporate colleagues, not knowing I was mirroring behaviours as that was all I knew. When it came time to share the story of my trauma experiences, including my mother's and my intellectually disabled sibling, with those that I considered close, it tended to fall on "deaf ears". My experiences were generally compared by those that I entrusted my trauma experiences with, as similar to their parent's divorce or "we all have a hard life, yours is no different to mine, so just get over it and move on". What I found was the even though the people around me said they loved or cared for me, their actions and behaviours were not congruent. When I had my catastrophic breakdown aged 43, the people that surrounded me significantly amplified my negative psychological situation. Which would playout horrifically for almost five years. Thankfully, I have discovered how to find healthy relationships and supports, which has helped me significantly turn my life quality positively around. I have changed certain negative behaviours around too, which will be an ongoing personal project. My point of this post is that even as things can get better, we can slip up on occasion. For me, that was when my beloved cat got run over and passed away the other day. He was instrumental in saving my life, and my direction in life. I have what I call emotional delay, I cried first up, but the real emotional stuff kicks in a day or so later, and then negative behaviours can slide in, which occurred last night. Due to my emotional state, I acted up (a sign that I am in distress) towards the people that had caused my traumas. Today, I will be sending communications to those people, apologising for my behaviour, knowing they will never acknowledge how their actions and inflictions caused me trauma + pain.

Carlawinkleberry Domestic abuse causing problems years later
  • replies: 1

Morning I’ve never actually posted in a forum or spoken about my history with anybody but friends and family. I was in a domestically abusive relationship for 5 years. I have a son from that relationship. It’s been 7 years since I walked away but I h... View more

Morning I’ve never actually posted in a forum or spoken about my history with anybody but friends and family. I was in a domestically abusive relationship for 5 years. I have a son from that relationship. It’s been 7 years since I walked away but I have suffered (what I believe, never diagnosed) with severe anxiety and highs and lows ever since. I have been married to my current husband since November 2012 and we have 3 beautiful kids together. Our youngest is 6 weeks old. Within the last week I have felt so so low. Have lost all my energy and strength to be their mother. I able only making it through each day I don’t know how. I don’t want to get out of bed most days and takes it out of me to continue to do it. I think all of what I’ve been through has ended me up to this point now and I need help. I don’t want To miss my children growing up because I feel this way. I have felt the anxiety before after children were born but this time it’s worse and so different. Everything just seems pointless. It’s is physically hard to do anything because I’m so exhausted. I think my kids deserve a better mother and I feel like a failure to them. I don’t feel as connected to my youngest baby the way I did with her siblings. I love her but I’m not as connectEd with her. I don’t really like talking on the phone and I’m terrified that if I saw someone locally they would take my kids away. I’ve never been able to get my license because of anxiety problems and I’m not qualified for anything. My first son was born straight after graduating school. And I’ve done nothing else with my life since. I feel pathetic. I want to be better for my children because they deserve it. I want to feel stronger then I am right now. It’s is just embarrassing to say any of this at all.

Shirlee Hello everyone, thank you for also being a member, allows us to chat about sometimes difficult issues.
  • replies: 5

I have a DSP claim coming up in 2 weeks fory JCA, I was wondering what to expect.I have diagnosed PTSD and very high anxiety.I need to be ready for my assessment, I have given 3 year's of treatment history and my clinical psychologist report.Is there... View more

I have a DSP claim coming up in 2 weeks fory JCA, I was wondering what to expect.I have diagnosed PTSD and very high anxiety.I need to be ready for my assessment, I have given 3 year's of treatment history and my clinical psychologist report.Is there anything els I need to do? My beloved brother committed suicide late 2016 so my emotional levels are very high and exacerbated PTSD and loss and grief. Any kind words of advice and confidence with the system which does tend to fail a lot of people who need help. Please feel free to leave a comment..ShirleeS

Owlie89 Am I in an abusive relationship? [Trigger Warning: Domestic Abuse]
  • replies: 8

Hello, I've been with my fiance for nine years. Our wedding is scheduled for later this year. However he has lately become more and more explosive when I don't feel like having sex because I'm on medication which affects my libido. For example, last ... View more

Hello, I've been with my fiance for nine years. Our wedding is scheduled for later this year. However he has lately become more and more explosive when I don't feel like having sex because I'm on medication which affects my libido. For example, last night it was his birthday and I was feeling sick and did not want to have sex so he pushed me off the bed and kicked me when I was down on the floor. He said I ruined his birthday, even though I took him out to breakfast and bought him multiple gifts and put a lot of effort and thought into the day. When he is angry he tells me I'm not intellectual enough, that I drag him down and that I'm a horrible, mean and nasty person. He says that I have the intellectual and emotional capacity of a child and that it is hard work being in a relationship with me. He says no one else would put up with me or love me like he does. The last time we had a fight he tore all my clothes from the wardrobe and snapped all the coat hangers. Then he turns around and acts sweet the next day like nothing happened. He also says that everything bad in the relationship is my fault. I'm actually scared now of entering into a marriage with someone who constantly belittles me in arguments. He even said if I ever talk about our relationship to anyone I know then I will have to get out and leave. Is it normal for people to act like that when they are angry/arguing? Is it normal for your partner to insult your intelligence and blame you for everything? Other people think of me as a very polite, thoughtful and caring person and no one else in my life would describe me the way he does. Am I over reacting? Should I be worried? Is this verbal/emotional abuse? Or just someone with a temper? I feel really confused and worried. Thank you.

rose_the_pan I’ve been lying to my family for 6 years.
  • replies: 2

When I was 8, a terrifying fear came alive. My parents were going through a divorce at the time and it would tear them apart to find out. This was the first step in my adventures that would cease to end. Once my parents spilt was final, another probl... View more

When I was 8, a terrifying fear came alive. My parents were going through a divorce at the time and it would tear them apart to find out. This was the first step in my adventures that would cease to end. Once my parents spilt was final, another problem arose; my mother would withhold custody from my father if she knew what his brother did to her daughter. She even liked to talk about how “if that man had ever touched you, tell me and I will make sure that I tell your father you’re not going there ever again” she didn’t mean it as a threat to me but I still remember the imminent danger it possessed. I was only 8. Years later and these were the things constantly weighing me down and always at the back of my mind. Then I was 14 and my father sat my sister and I down to talk about why we were so afraid of his brother and that our fear of him was merely a product of my mother’s manipulation. I then broke down and began telling the tale of when my uncle sexually harassed me. He stood up and walked out of the room, no words spoken. We went to my nonno’s funeral that day and later on at the wake, my father pulls me aside and tells me my uncle has a chemical imbalance in his brain, that makes him more sexual but he takes medication for it so it’s under control. This was honestly the excuse he had to say that I had to have been lying. Now, my 2 year old sister that I don’t live with is apparently my uncle’s “favourite niece” and I’m so scared because I know it will happen to her eventually but there’s nothing I can do about it without losing my dad. It breaks me down further and further in so many ways. I don’t know what do anymore.

dolma acute trauma
  • replies: 2

hi, not sure if this is the correct title to use. I have experienced a very traumatic event recently and i am trying to look after myself. i am a very strong person and have been through a lot of stress during my life. My son fell 15 metres and as su... View more

hi, not sure if this is the correct title to use. I have experienced a very traumatic event recently and i am trying to look after myself. i am a very strong person and have been through a lot of stress during my life. My son fell 15 metres and as sustained multiple injuries including a brain injury. He was in a coma at the scene, then put in an induced coma in intensive care. outlook was grim. He is progressing really well. The outcome is positive but i feel that because of my previous life experiences and other trauma in my life i am struggling to be positive. People say how great it is, a miracle. It is a miracle, but there is a lot of practical stuff i have to deal with and it is life changing for him and me. I am scared. I feel a bit numb.

LittleLostB Nowhere to go
  • replies: 4

Hi to everyone who takes time to read this. I’m looking for some advice on how to deal with my current situation. My de facto partner of 7 years broke up with me one month ago. He has told me his reason is because he wants to sleep with other women a... View more

Hi to everyone who takes time to read this. I’m looking for some advice on how to deal with my current situation. My de facto partner of 7 years broke up with me one month ago. He has told me his reason is because he wants to sleep with other women and he likes his freedom (i.e. not having to think about me or have me wondering where he is at night). He broke up with me 2 days before my birthday and on the same day deleted a majority of photos on social media - making me feel as if I never existed. During our relationship I felt like he lived 2 separate lives - I was frequently excluded from his social life. And at the end of his relationship I became so aware of the fact that I had never even met some of his closest friends that he would see regularly. During the first 3 weeks of the break up I was living with my mother (with no where else to go). I have a bad history with my mother who during my teenage years kicked me out of home - without going into detail, it was an event that has traumatised me (PTSD). So when living with her again I felt uncomfortable and problems began to crop up again with her being emotionally abusive towards me. A huge argument has left me with no option but to go back to my ex boyfriends house and I also feel the need to now cut all contact from my mother. So, now my current problem is that I feel I should be away from my ex and move on. Hard to do when I have no where else to go (no other relatives and I only have 1 friend but I don’t want to live with her). My ex is also telling me he loves me and keeps bringing up marriage in the future and asking me to support him through his own personal problems - treating me like a secret gf? He also is forcing sex on me. I am on affordable housing wait list but am told the wait is around 1 year. I am not earning enough to rent privately and am currently looking for a new job. Please help! I don’t know what to do and I’m feeling very alone.