PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Gypsy_Girl Narcissistic abuse after divorce.
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, I’m new & wanted to share my story I’ve been divorced 3 yrs. But my ex & his partner are a thorn in my side. I’ve been in a new loving relationship for 2 yrs & I have complete trust in my new partner, no worries about him cheating & lyin... View more

Hi everyone, I’m new & wanted to share my story I’ve been divorced 3 yrs. But my ex & his partner are a thorn in my side. I’ve been in a new loving relationship for 2 yrs & I have complete trust in my new partner, no worries about him cheating & lying which my ex did constantly. So it seems I didn’t bring any of that into the new relationship which is great. My ex & I have 3 kids. Which means I’m stuck having to deal with him. It’s gotten better over time. But there’s still moments where he’s extremely nasty. I’ve been to therapy & I always come across strong & independent. Eventually though something happens to retraumatise me. I do the typical things like, I disassociate myself from what I went through, I play mind numbing games, research, read articles or tv series to avoid thinking about it. I put myself down & imagine him berating me & have ridiculous arguments/conversations in my head, especially in the “think tank” (shower). I have dreams about both of them not leaving me alone. I fear succeeding as I don’t want their ‘spotlight’ on me. I completely put myself down. I’ve have been ill since I met him & my health has declined from constant stress, I have severely low iodine, low B12 & high cortisol. I avoid being social because I’m not a very outgoing person anyway, & my ex & his partner (the last one he cheated on me with) are a big part of the same community, so therefore I feel isolated in my own home town. They’ve stalked me, twice she did a U-turn & followed me to the supermarket, driving past my home (I now live with my parents so they stopped), following the kids from school & grilling them about where I am, what I’m doing, etc. My ex admitted he has her inform him- eg. I took pics of our child at an event she was also at & within 30mins he texts me demanding copies of the pics. It has left me wondering what I did wrong? I didn’t make him cheat/lie/manipulate in the first place. He gaslighted me constantly & they both have started gaslighting the kids. He’s always put himself on a pedestal. There’s times he leaves me alone, or he just can’t get dirt due to the low profile I keep, but he’ll eventually find something, big or small. All I want is to communicate about pick up/drop off times. But he gets mad about ridiculous things, demands respect, which triggers my anxiety & causes a sudden downward spiral, my chest hurts, hands shake & sometimes I cry. I hope to find a new counselor who understands Narcissistic abuse. Thanks for reading, GG.

Kal08 What do I do
  • replies: 2

My wife (same sex marriage) abused me 5 days ago. She was jealous I was on my phone when we had guests around watching the AFL grand final. She called me into our bedroom (with our friends outside) and physically hurt me. I took myself to hospital an... View more

My wife (same sex marriage) abused me 5 days ago. She was jealous I was on my phone when we had guests around watching the AFL grand final. She called me into our bedroom (with our friends outside) and physically hurt me. I took myself to hospital and they admitted me for observation due to concussion. I also have physical trauma. The abuse has happened before, on and off. Always due to rage and jealousy and trust issues. I’ve never done anything wrong, never cheated, never text anyone and deleted messages, never been sneaky. It’s a cycle. She will abuse me, the next day apologise (sometimes I’ve even apologised) and then we have a honey moon phase where everything is fantastic. My wife and I married August 11th 2018. 8 months leading up to the wedding everything was fine. She was hardly ever jealousy. Her anger was better managed and I thought “she is changing”, I thought this was the start of our forever. After she abused me Saturday and I was discharged from hospital Sunday I went straight to my mums. My partner has confided in her mother and her mother has helped seek help. She rings and texts and says she is so sorry and knows it is wrong. Her mother also blames her father as he abused her mother and cheated on her and that’s why my wife has these rage inside of her. And that with help she is certain she can get better. i am at a stage now where I do not want to salvage my marriage. I’m exhausted. I don’t believe she can change. Even though she is seeking help. I just feel extremely bad that I want to end our relationship when she is about to seek help but I can’t wait in limbo and support her in hopes she changes. We are catching up on Sunday to talk and I want to know what others opinions of me wanting to end this. As we are married I don’t know if we can “break up”. Can we break up and have our own lives and maybe re connect later down the track? I don’t know I’m lost thank you all

eagle72 mothers of sexually abused children
  • replies: 5

i need to talk to other mums who have been the rollercoaster of finding out and trying to cope with ongoing emotions and events that proceed the finding out of abuse to our children. my daughter was 2yrs she is now 14yrs. i would really like to share... View more

i need to talk to other mums who have been the rollercoaster of finding out and trying to cope with ongoing emotions and events that proceed the finding out of abuse to our children. my daughter was 2yrs she is now 14yrs. i would really like to share feelings with other mums on how you cope.

chiara_g Struggling to cope with past experiences (sexual assault trigger warning)
  • replies: 2

Hey, I’m new here. I’m a sexual assault and emotional abusive survivor. I came through the other side in 2006 but I was left with a few demons. He would tell me I was too skinny and ugly and would force feed me as a way of emotional control. One part... View more

Hey, I’m new here. I’m a sexual assault and emotional abusive survivor. I came through the other side in 2006 but I was left with a few demons. He would tell me I was too skinny and ugly and would force feed me as a way of emotional control. One particular time I had gastro and you know when you’re sick the last thing you want to do is eat but I was force fed and I was subjected to a weekend of various abuse. Since my experience, a few things changed, one of which I started having relationships with females. Having a relationship with female seemed more comfortable, equal. Also since my experience, my eating changed, I have problems with control and eating. 12 years on I did get married, to a very understanding man who puts up with my quirks and I felt I had moved on with life. However recently, I had a situation where I confided in my doctor, who crossed the line sexually, pursuing a friendship over text message and in person with questions about my sex life, why I’m bisexual, how do you have sex with women and information about my past sexual experiences. He asked me questions about having sex with men and my husband and I guess it was a fantasy for him. When I went to my husband for help, my doctor tried to tell me what he was asking was no big deal, that it had nothing to do with my husband and just between us and went to my husband saying that I was having an affair, I’m an escort but my husband put him in his place and reported him to the medical board. Six months on, I’m feeling fundamentally broken. I feel like the lid I had firmly on my past experiences has been re-opened with everything spilling out, or I feel like a mirror I was holding has been taken from and thrown to the ground. I tell myself I feel I’m overreacting, or it shouldn’t be a big deal, it's not like the doctor touched me and was only aroused by what I sent him but I am constantly anxious because it’s triggered everything and I don’t know why. I’m struggling to control my eating, I’ve stopped being intimate with my husband, just feel so withdrawn. I don’t want to be touched or hugged by anyone and I get angry, I have these fits of anger that I don’t know where they come from… but it’s pure rage. I’ve been medicated by psychiatrists but it’s not helping at all and I just don’t know what’s wrong with me.

AdriftAnnie Is it ever okay to reconcile with abusive partner?
  • replies: 7

Hi, I’ve posted a few times before about my husband who physically and sexually assaulted me a few months ago. It was very violent and I’m still dealing with the effects of being assaulted by someone I loved and trusted. He breached an avo after the ... View more

Hi, I’ve posted a few times before about my husband who physically and sexually assaulted me a few months ago. It was very violent and I’m still dealing with the effects of being assaulted by someone I loved and trusted. He breached an avo after the assault and ended up in prison for 5 weeks. This experience seems to have changed him for the better. We have young children together and while he has never been physically abusive in the past, he has been verbally abusive to both me and our children. He is desperate to reconcile and says he has “seen the light” and will never hurt me again. I don’t want to reconcile. I feel broken after what he did. But I could probably take him back for the sake of our children. My question is, is it ever okay to take back someone who has hurt you so badly? Is there ever a reason? I don’t think I love him anymore, but I care about him still. We were together over a decade and he was my only relationship. He wasn’t a supportive partner, except financially so I am more than capable of raising our 3 children alone. But should I? Should I give him a chance? My biggest worry is that he will hurt me again - not necessarily physically - and that I won’t be able to pick myself up next time. Maybe I am just being selfish. If he has changed then shouldn’t I give my children the nuclear family they deserve? I’m so confused. I know it’s my decision, but I could use some advice/guidance. Thanks

Bobbie1982 Thoughts about the trauma CONSTANTLY
  • replies: 1

Hi, i experienced a lot of abuse as a child and have had tonnes of therapy. I felt like I was starting to really make a good recovery, but recently not so. i feel like everything triggers all sorts of random memories/feelings/etc about the abuse and ... View more

Hi, i experienced a lot of abuse as a child and have had tonnes of therapy. I felt like I was starting to really make a good recovery, but recently not so. i feel like everything triggers all sorts of random memories/feelings/etc about the abuse and it’s CONSTANTLY on my mind..even at work or when I busy myself, it’s always there. I feel like I’m going insane! I have been doing EMDR therapy for the past 12 months (on and off) and have recently changed psychs to a more affordable one. I like her and feel like she knows her stuff and is good, so no issues there apart from the fact I’ve only been seeing her for a couple of months...has changing to someone new triggered these “obsessive thoughts” (for lack of a better term!)? I don’t really know. I just feel incredibly anxious and out of control on the inside. I wish I had an off switch!! thanks for listening!

Unhappy78 Lies (trigger warning childhood abuse) 
  • replies: 1

Please don't judge. I am just here for some assistance. I have just been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety as well as asthma. It has been misdiagnosed for approximately 2 years according to the health professions. I also deal with a child ... View more

Please don't judge. I am just here for some assistance. I have just been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety as well as asthma. It has been misdiagnosed for approximately 2 years according to the health professions. I also deal with a child who has ptsd who refuses to see a councellor. Short version is we have fought the court system for 5 years. This has taken a toll on me and I didn't realise I had depression until just recent. Is it possible to not know you are drowning until you hit rock bottom? Has anyone lied during depression before to get extensions on university assignments? Is this normal when you have depression?

BBUser19 My 11yo daughter was sexually abused by her stepfather
  • replies: 11

My sweet 11yr old daughter came to me recently and told me that her step father sexually abused her the night before. I kicked him out of bed that morning went to the police 2hrs later as that was when a CPI was available he was held in custody for 1... View more

My sweet 11yr old daughter came to me recently and told me that her step father sexually abused her the night before. I kicked him out of bed that morning went to the police 2hrs later as that was when a CPI was available he was held in custody for 1 night released on bail the following morning. I have started on medication. im struggling. I have no support from my family as it brokedown when I was a child. my friends are there for me but its not quite the same. this $%£& was my rock for 8 years now I have no one to hold me while I grieve. My beautiful girl is coping ok at the moment and I try not to let it show just how broken I am. I am blaming myself for what happened even though I had no way of knowing it was going to happen. Christmas is just round the corner along with highschool for my daughter and school for my son. I am currently trying to find a new place to rent. but as I expect to take a fair bit of time off work my financial situation is getting worse. I haven't been able to eat for 4days now. I've lost 8 kgs im getting weak. every time I go to eat I vomit. Every diesel car and or Trailer is making me jump. Im finding it hard to sleep. Got the locks changed as he had a key to the house. I have been documenting all of his belongings and packing them away. waiting for the day he comes to collect them. Im worried about what he will take as most of the things we bought together. Im worried about my daughter im worried about how my son will cope when he relieses that the man he called dad will never be coming back. im worried about money Im worried about me. If u have any advice please help Thank you

hankm Completely Repressed Memories
  • replies: 6

Im a 27 yo male who recently saw a counsellor with my gf for some relationship counselling, The guy we saw only had a tafe degree, which at the time I wasn't aware. He spoke about neuroplasticity and creating new connections in the brain and accessin... View more

Im a 27 yo male who recently saw a counsellor with my gf for some relationship counselling, The guy we saw only had a tafe degree, which at the time I wasn't aware. He spoke about neuroplasticity and creating new connections in the brain and accessing your unconscious mind through adult learning- he performed psychonalysis (which I wasn't aware of at the time) and picked up on a deep child hood trauma I had no idea about and retraumatized me using nlp an suggestion therapy without even explaining to me what was going on. The guy told me in the last session I saw him that he did it to teach me a lesson that I wasn't better then other people, The recovered memory/flashbacks ive been having have been severe, Its like my nervous system has shut down too. I know that the holisitic psychologist believe that traumas are stored in the nervous system Has anyone ever heard of anything like this? Ive been seeing a psych now and they believe it could be OCD- that doesn't explain the recovered memory.

Beetle Can you get PTSD because of medical negligence?
  • replies: 4

HI Ong story short: I have major depression. But I also suffer from TBI. Noises and lights bother me. I feel so sensory overloaded that I often just collapse. Its very hard to live with. My accident was 6 month ago. Since then I have experienced a lo... View more

HI Ong story short: I have major depression. But I also suffer from TBI. Noises and lights bother me. I feel so sensory overloaded that I often just collapse. Its very hard to live with. My accident was 6 month ago. Since then I have experienced a lot of negligence and even though I screamed out for help I didn't get any. The accident itself I thought wasn't that bad, but we could have blown up as there was fire next to flowing oxygen. Just throwing around ideas as I'm pretty messed up and trying to get on the right track thanks