Multicultural experiences

The Last words of my preposterous stupid life.

replies: 3

Thanks for anyone who trusted the authenticity of this story , my short story of the preposterous life that I have suffered for the last 34 years. First of all, please accept my apology with my poor English as it is my second language that I had firs... View more

Thanks for anyone who trusted the authenticity of this story , my short story of the preposterous life that I have suffered for the last 34 years. First of all, please accept my apology with my poor English as it is my second language that I had first learnt from Year 10 in Sydney. I though I will have a new beautiful life when I landed Sydney 20 years ago. Because I can finally escape from a place with all people bullied me , Family , school , church , all people around me don't like me , the vision in my childhood , all hated words given to rise me. Like in a simple description of my life, since ever i understand human language , not a good word into my ear. So as my parents and my younger sister. There is no Love I can find within my family school and church, so I been out to hunt for LOVE, get into a first love relationship which doesn't went well because the only place for any dating is casino, he just like gambling and not willing to just quietly sit at the beach with me, unlike any other couple on Earth, there is no sweetness out of the relationship for 8 months and it was my puppy love at my age of 19. I was so hurt with the broke of this relationship, I just want a boyfriend who love me just like how I could love him, so hard to find one or I have nothing for anyone on Earth to love. I then met a guy from church, at the very first of our relationship, all people in church was laughing at me, and calling him not to date with me and just because they mis-understood that I am a orphan and not noticed that my parents are actually been in the church since ever we landed, that's usual in Chinese Base Christian Church in Sydney. I then leave the church with that new boyfriend, at my age of 21i. He dump me in 3 days coz he feel annoyed from those calls from church, but dragging us together in three months time, since then we been together for like 3 years. But also no romance, he always hit me and i fright back, we been to police and many stupid ugly things, end up we broke and he took all my money and leave me with a lone under my name that i never notice. that was 2008, up until now, my parents still hate me about all these, they think i should not show up in the family and i will bring bad names to them, i had suffered 10 years of depress but no one notice, i had no money in the account and no friends. I wish i can tell more of my story about betrayed by good friends, bullied by workplace but there is limited,sadly ,my last words cant be complete.

Does the full moon affect you?

replies: 14

The other night when we had a full moon I happen to take my puppy downstairs before bedtime and even though it was almost midnight, I was taken aback by the powerful light emitting from the moon. It was illuminating my path to the point that I didn’t... View more

The other night when we had a full moon I happen to take my puppy downstairs before bedtime and even though it was almost midnight, I was taken aback by the powerful light emitting from the moon. It was illuminating my path to the point that I didn’t need to use my iPhone to see my steps. It’s very rarely living in the big city that one gets to see the night sky in its glory. But that night seemed different. Bright stars and moonshine flooding the landscape. Then suddenly, I heard the laughter of a young child embracing me...I closed my eyes and saw my daughter’s face some twenty two years ago...How quickly time has passed! I remembered the middle of the small flat I have rented and her laughter giving me joy, purpose and meaning...defining me, guiding me and providing me with healing from my own childhood wounds... Maybe parenthood is a second chance to wash away the pain. I always wanted everything out of my life you know, and I have paid for it, I can assure you. So as for the heart to have a place to rest before it gets old. I don’t know about you but when there’s a full moon I think it’s nice; but it’s also melancholic. Silence is different when you are alone. I’m not sure if I feel sorrow but I have missed the young man that I once was. Aging in a new country away from your family, your relatives, your childhood friends and neighbors etc is something that I’ve never done before. I feel no pain most of the times but I have missed my love’s lustful lies that made everything look so nice. Died so young. Was so eager to leave it all behind. And I hardly had the time to say goodbye. It’s going to be five years next month even if it feels like centuries at times, while at other moments it feels just like yesterday. As if time has completely stopped. Life has frozen. Time doesn’t exist. It is hard for someone to be alone; to lose their love. I can tell that to you now that the truth doesn’t hurt me any more. Now that this is my daily reality. My routine. Even if I am strong, I sometimes need some body by my side. Solitude does know how to set its traps and hurts. How’s your experience aging in Australia? Have you mourned a loved one? Does that grief and loss ever leave us? Maybe some things happen only once in a lifetime...tonight, like the other night, I’m feeling blue.

Loneliness getting to me

replies: 7

Hi everyone, I migrated to Australia 10 years ago. We had no friends or family here. We were Mormons. We went to church here and made friends with Mormons. Few years in I lost my faith. I was vocal about it and lost many friends. We moved away. My fa... View more

Hi everyone, I migrated to Australia 10 years ago. We had no friends or family here. We were Mormons. We went to church here and made friends with Mormons. Few years in I lost my faith. I was vocal about it and lost many friends. We moved away. My family are all Mormons. They also started ostracizing me in the little online contact I had with them. They ignore me now. After I left Mormonism I still believed in God. I prayed and read the Bible. I did not trust churches anymore. So I followed the Bible. My husband and I started having dreams about babies. We thought God wanted us to have more children. We already had three children and did not want more but believed God would bless us if we obeyed. We decided to try for a baby. We fell pregnant with twins. After I fell pregnant my husband was working on the gas projects and earned a good salary. He started having dreams about his job being unsafe. Eventually, we decided that maybe God wanted him to leave his job. We decided to trust God. My husband left his job. He took on some contracting work for a while, but that ended. Then he found a more permanent job but it paid about half of what he used to earn. We had the twins and moved state for my husband's new job. Before we moved I kept reading the verses in the Bible suggesting that we should sell all we had and follow Jesus. We thought God had a purpose for us with this move and we got rid of almost everything we had. When we moved into our new house we had no beds, no lounge set, no TV, no toys for our kids, no dining room table etc. After about 6 months of sleeping on the floor with twin babies who kept me up all night and did not sleep much during the day, I had it. I told God I could not keep doing this. I thought I heard God say, "Exactly". I was so angry. It felt like God deliberately let me drown myself in things I did not want, to find out that the Bible was BS too. After researching more into Christianity I realized I had been duped a second time and literally threw my life and my children's lives away for a myth. We had to go into debt to get furniture again. So we are suffering financially I cannot afford to put my babies in daycare to work, not that I have any skills. I am exhausted, have no help, have so much anger over this, cannot get myself to do any housework, exercise, eat healthily or do things with my kids, I have no motivation. My marriage is suffering, my children are suffering and so I am. I cannot go on.

Need Help - Chinese Speaking Psych

replies: 6

I have recently worked out that my dad is suffering from depression. He has isolated himself from everything he used to do, including church, friends and family. He has recently started distancing himself from me and my sister which has never happene... View more

I have recently worked out that my dad is suffering from depression. He has isolated himself from everything he used to do, including church, friends and family. He has recently started distancing himself from me and my sister which has never happened before. He will only sleep and eat, and watch Tv. Refuses to go anywhere except for the shops. He is suffering from physical ailments due to a lung transplant about 6 years ago, and has had a significant impact on his mental health as he is a workaholic and is unable to work at all. Although this is so, he can still walk, talk and still has potential to enjoy a good life. my major problem is that he doesn't recognise that he has a problem; 1. Chinese culture doesn't traditionally recognise mental health issues. 2. We need help from someone who can speak Cantonese or Mandarin. Today, he started talking about killing himself and divorcing my mum. Again, first time I have ever heard him speak this way. So we will see a GP as soon a s I can get him home, but I am worried that it will be hard to get someone who can actually help him due to language barrier. does anyone have advice or experience of this? This is in Victoria

Mother in law and husband

replies: 7

I've been married for 4 years and since the day I met my husband, I had issues with our relationship. i'm coming from an Asian background. my husband is the only child in his family. his father died many years ago, and his mom married another person.... View more

I've been married for 4 years and since the day I met my husband, I had issues with our relationship. i'm coming from an Asian background. my husband is the only child in his family. his father died many years ago, and his mom married another person. but she doesn't share the same house with that person anymore, because of her bossy qualities. when we first started our relationship, and planning to get married (9 years ago), we had to tell it our parents and get permission. at that time his mom, cried till she can't breath, and rejected me. she refused to give permission. but my husband didn't give up, she influenced her as much as he could, and somehow got permission. then we got married and I came to Australia to stay with him. we bought a 2 bed room apartment for us at that time. only after the wedding I found out the connection between my husband and his mom. he calls her 4,5 times every day. share all the pictures we take here and share them with her. so, we don't have any privacy in our marriage life because, he talks every bits and pieces with her everyday. sometimes he doesn't come to the bed in the night, because keeps talking with his mom over the phone. while we were newly weds and when we were in that tiny apartment, his mom also wanted to come and stay with us for 6 months. that was 5 months after the wedding. I really couldn't believe what's going on. that was a decision between my husband and his mom. I couldn't do anything so had to just keep quite. so she came here, and as expected started to interfere in to our lives. she started to give me commands and I had to obey her. during those 6 months, we had no privacy. sometime she didn't even close her bedroom door. we never couldn't go out without her. never couldn't go to any parties because she gets angry. I cried many days, my huband's answer was "she is old and we can't change her nature", I can't forget the way she raised me up a single mom", "we are here because of her money". so this thing kept happening. for the last four years of our marriage she visted 3 times , and stayed 6 months each time. now she wants to come back again end of this year. I can't go through the same thing again and again. its never easy to talk with my husband, and sort out things, as he becomes violent when he gets angry.he also controls my money, I tried to walk out from marraige, those times he says he really needs me. I don't know weather I should stay married or not.

i want dde helps

replies: 3

Ever since the second grade kids have been teasing me and I always seem to be the victim of bullying. The type of bullying is teasing, as kids always seem to tease me due to my race, as an indian I have to get a+ or better as it seems to other people... View more

Ever since the second grade kids have been teasing me and I always seem to be the victim of bullying. The type of bullying is teasing, as kids always seem to tease me due to my race, as an indian I have to get a+ or better as it seems to other people to be defined as relevant. However, the main bullying comes is from people who say "Oi, cab driver" or since I work at 711 "can I have a Slurpee". Also in my religion it permits me to not use any deodorant, and even through this I think I smell better than anyone yet I always get teased for smelling, this brings me to my last point which is getting teased due to my size of my genitals which I often get teased for. I don't know how to deal with the bullys please help!

Abuse in other cultures

replies: 8

We recently had a thread on this forum whereby the husband (poster) is being controlled and physically slapped by his wife. Judging by the broken English of the poster it is fairly certain he is a newcomer to Australia. The thread has been answered f... View more

We recently had a thread on this forum whereby the husband (poster) is being controlled and physically slapped by his wife. Judging by the broken English of the poster it is fairly certain he is a newcomer to Australia. The thread has been answered fully and appropriately i.e. condemning abuse if any sort, yet the question has been asked "is such abuse common in other countries and more accepted." Tony WK

I want to be happy just once

replies: 1

I'm eleven years old and I know there's a future for me out there, I just don't know what it is right now. In the future I could live a happy life with love and fortune, I could live a life of despair and accidents. I've been this way since about sev... View more

I'm eleven years old and I know there's a future for me out there, I just don't know what it is right now. In the future I could live a happy life with love and fortune, I could live a life of despair and accidents. I've been this way since about seven I believe. It hasn't been this bad before but at the age of ten things have worsened. Everyday I get so much pressure put on me by my parents, my friends, my sisters, everyone, to perform well because of my Taiwanese blood. Everybody expects me to do good and be successful, but no one really knows this, no one knows the pressure they put on me. It's my habit, whether it be bad or good, to never tell anyone about my problems. There's no one I trust or love enough to do that. About my title now, ever since I was around six or seven I stopped. I stopped having the ability to try, to laugh, to truly be happy. The people around me can't see the change, after all I always put on a mask around others. I've never let anyone see the dark side of me, the negative side of me. Even if you people reading this do, you'll never know me in real so, what's the point? I let everyone see me as that person who's intelligent and focused but can become extremely goofy and friendly when you get close to me. But that's the thing. It's their reason why I'm like this. If they didn't exist, or I didn't exist, I never would have become like this. I've stopped being happy. I've stopped living and just started surviving. I don't remember what made me like this, there was no real reason I'm like this other than my negative way of thinking. Maybe I was born like this. Sometimes I forget how big this world is. Not just my life but billions of others living it. In that amount of people there are others like me. Maybe some are just like me. I like to think that, but the thing is I think so negatively that I never think of this until, until I don't know. My whole life I have had one goal. To be able to accomplish my dreams. And my dreams are to be truly happy and to become an author. I stay up well into the night contemplating ways I could achieve the former with a few simple steps yet there are no methods I can think of. All I ever wanted was to find my safe haven not in crying and isolation, but rather the opposite, in the company of others and laughter. If I think about it, it'll never happen. Thank you for hearing me out. Also know that I do not want your consolation, I just want a solution. And my solution is getting this off my chest.

How do you break away from harmful cultural beliefs that do not support your wellbeing?

replies: 2

I grew up in a culture that taught me to be suspicious of others. Motives had to always be examined and in every step you’d take, something always lurks in the background, ready to harm you. My mum and my grandparents and other relatives reminded me ... View more

I grew up in a culture that taught me to be suspicious of others. Motives had to always be examined and in every step you’d take, something always lurks in the background, ready to harm you. My mum and my grandparents and other relatives reminded me to be careful. Walk with caution. ‘No one wants your good!’, they’d say. ‘The world is evil, keep your eyes open’, they’d warn me. The notion that every time you start off on a new road in your life; a plan; a goal; you have to keep your eyes open day and night, because there will always be a net spreading before you ready to entrap you, permeates the pessimistic cultural and societal attitudes of my land. Historically, one could argue, that is precisely true. The warnings I have always received were that if at some point I get tangled up in its knots; no one will be able to get me out. No help will be found at my time of distress. Always I gotta try and find the end of the thread on my own. And if I’m lucky, start all over again. Cynical, I know. Pessimistic, indeed. With some dose of reality intermingled in it. The thing is, nowadays, in my midlife, I can look back and recognize the various triggers and notions that collectively can lead an individual within a specific culture to desperation, lack of faith in humanity, and lack of hope to any better future. How has your experience been while growing up in your culture? What are some main beliefs that have hinder your ability to relate to others, to feel love or joy, to experience freedom and live life abundantly? Are these notions based on truth or did you dismiss them as myths? How does one get to the point where their awareness of the various barriers to engagement and seeking support can be overturned and replaced by positive, healthy attitudes that assist their mental health and development as they mature and age? Those obstacles, popping up in front of us at every stage in life, can they be removed? Have you done this? If yes, how? What helped you not turn into (become like) your mother or father? How did you do a breakthrough? Share the possibilities...

Observing passengers traveling on a train. How we view and experience the world from our perspective?

replies: 18

I was sitting in a train today and as we were passing the various stations I was watching people on the platforms and entering or exiting the train. Some well-dressed, others casual, a few had seen better days. So many people! People of all sizes, sh... View more

I was sitting in a train today and as we were passing the various stations I was watching people on the platforms and entering or exiting the train. Some well-dressed, others casual, a few had seen better days. So many people! People of all sizes, shapes, age, backgrounds, socioeconomic status, religious convictions, sexual orientations, gender etc. It made me think at a train station, how many issues, how many joys and losses are waiting? One person goes to a celebration. Another off to find bitterness and sorrow. And the tourists with their cameras; The homeless and the beggars with their guitars... How the empty stations pierce your heart when the train leaves them behind. When all talk is quiet. No words heard. When upon the lines night falls. Just for a moment passing by so quickly, our life. At a light, a uniform, a glimpse, And then silence again. And darkness. Ever thought of all your journeys? Which station were you yesterday? In which wagon or carriage? It’s so interesting how you can be in the same place, doing the same things and yet your thoughts are always different. Today I pondered on how our environment, the daily images that register in our brains, the sounds, the smells, the tastes etc affect our feelings and moods and shape our wellbeing. Our sense of the day is constantly affected by the ‘now’ and what we observe or experience at any given moment. How it makes us feel after it passes... Each passenger in a train may travel to similar directions and have same destination, however, the same things will be seen completely uniquely from each person. Even people of the same age, gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, religion etc would never see the same things in the same way. We are all upon an express line, Life. Running fast. And the line always ends. In the end. How do you understand your environment in the context of your mental wellbeing? How do you see or interpret daily events? How and when do you decide that ‘today is a good day?’ How do you feel when you find yourself in a train carriage that is packed and you have to fight for your spot in the sea of bodies surrounding you? What are some daily things that you do which make a positive impact on your life? Is any particular thing that you’ve picked up from your upbringing that helps you carry on in your daily journeys and eases the struggles?

Pinned discussions

Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section

replies: 0

All discussions

The Last words of my preposterous stupid life.

replies: 3