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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Budge Hopeless
  • replies: 4

i couldn't face another day I was fed up of being fed up and knew I desperately needed help. Sitting before the doctor I poured out out my soul. Sympathetically he nodded and smiled then printed off a list of questions. Once done each question was sc... View more

i couldn't face another day I was fed up of being fed up and knew I desperately needed help. Sitting before the doctor I poured out out my soul. Sympathetically he nodded and smiled then printed off a list of questions. Once done each question was scored, adding up the total he remarked that I had a high score, "Im going to refer you for counselling, prescribe some anti-depressants and send you off to see a psychiatrist". Again I poured out my soul to the counsellor. I struggled to understand how raking up the past helped, going over and over things for me just didn't make things better. It culminated in long uncomfortable silences. I didn't bother going again. The anti depressants nearly pushed me over the edge. One of the biggest under statements I've ever heard came from my GP as he explained how the medication worked "it would get worse before its get better". Then with increasing doses I made the mistake, once feeling relatively well of thinking I no longer needed them. The mess I spiralled down into is hard to explain and was only elevated by going back on the medication, which in itself left me wondering if to stay sane I now had to take tablets for the rest of my life. Sitting in the waiting room of the mental health clinic I looked around at those waiting with me. They all looked troubled in one way or another. I wondered what they thought of me. The psychiatrist, who i thought looked more mental than I did, printed off yet another question and answer sheet and noted my response. I remember him asking if there was any history of mental illness in my family... I didn't think so. But later my Dad mentioned that my Grandfather had had a mental breakdown, which had taken him 2 years to recover from. I began to wonder if it was hereditary and if my son would have to suffer this nightmare also. Finally I was asked if id had any suicidal thoughts. I answered honestly, that I had. It was all I could think of, it never left me. I saw death as a natural relief and the only way out of what I was going through. Moving on to the next question he bluntly ask me why I hadn't killed myself. This stumped me, made me feel that I'd had this thing on my to do list and I really should just stop complaining and get on with it........ I didn't go home, but instead went to a friends place. On the way I began to cry, uncontrollably it lasted for almost a week and then i slept for what felt like twice as long. And when I came round I found it was the menial things that helped, ironing and washing dirty pots. I struggled to motivate myself to go out I couldn't face anyone. When things got really tough when i could get into gear I found going to the beach cleared my mind and then returning home some 4 months later i began to draw on the love and patience of my family. But things aren't right. Im sick of what fells like everyone asking if Im ok or saying that they love me. I still just want to be left alone. I accept that I'm better than i was but this now is me and now how it will be, hopeless. I think about ending my life.

help long term depression
  • replies: 2

Hi I have suffered depression for more than 10 years, triggered by a woman who does not want to let go of what she thinks is a relationship. Each time I try to finish it, there are threats of ruining my life and that of who I meet. She is married and... View more

Hi I have suffered depression for more than 10 years, triggered by a woman who does not want to let go of what she thinks is a relationship. Each time I try to finish it, there are threats of ruining my life and that of who I meet. She is married and nothing I say can convince her to stop. She has driven me to the lowest of lows from which it will be hard to recover. If by cutting my leg off it stopped the mental torture, I would do it. She has seen my decline and still wont stop. Thank you for any advice you can help me with.

PaulP Hi, need some advice regarding Depression and Aspergers
  • replies: 3

Hi, I have been suffering with depression for over 5 years now and have recently been diagnosed with Asperger's. I am Married and have 3 kids who I love and they love me. Depression for me was pretty bad (like most of us) and took me a while to see a... View more

Hi, I have been suffering with depression for over 5 years now and have recently been diagnosed with Asperger's. I am Married and have 3 kids who I love and they love me. Depression for me was pretty bad (like most of us) and took me a while to see a doctor about having depression (I am a male!). The doctor put me on an antidepressant 20mg (one per day) and I recently started to come off them. I am currently on 5mg every other day. The problem that I found is that the medication made me like a dump robot, simply walking around, not really thinking a lot. Before the medication I did think of taking my own life but I am at least thankful that I no longer have these thoughts. This drove my wife crazy because she could not get a conversation out of me. So we both decided that I should taper off the medication over 6 months and I am on my final leg. Because I think completely differently to most people and don't "see" things as other people do also caused my wife a lot of stress, mainly because I put everything down to the medication. 6 months ago I was diagnosed with Aspergers. I know it's very late in my life (I am 40) but at least it provides some explains the way I think and act. I have also see a councillor (my wife also attended these sessions as well) to help be get to the root cause of my depression. At the end there was no one single answer that could explain this. I think this was due to a stressful job at the time. Coming off the medication has made me feel more me again, which is great but (there is always a but!) it has changed me. The new problem that I am currently facing is that my wife still says that I am snappy and moody with her all the time, even though I am finding this hard to see (not saying she is wrong, just cannot see it) which has been going on for several months now. For me, I just see me self, I not unhappy but I would say more confused than anything. When I talk to my wife I don't see my self being snappy or more, though I do see this now and then but not everyday. What this is doing to me is making it hard for me to talk to my wife, not because I don't want to but I have to think 3 or 4 times what I am going to say before I say it. I also try and think what pitch my voice should be so it does not come across snappy/moody. It seems no matter what I say or how I say it, my wife always takes this as me been snappy / moody with her, which is not. Any advice would be great. Thank you. Paul.

F0revryoung depression
  • replies: 3

to be honest, I'm not to sure on what I'm meant to say, am I even worth reading? my life's not as bad as most people, in fact I've probably had a pretty good life compared to some. I'm the youngest of two, and I must admit I get more attention and go... View more

to be honest, I'm not to sure on what I'm meant to say, am I even worth reading? my life's not as bad as most people, in fact I've probably had a pretty good life compared to some. I'm the youngest of two, and I must admit I get more attention and got more things, but emotionally I feel like I get nothing I feel as though I'm a burden to my own parent's, if they don't want me then who does my own sister doesn't even speak to me anymore, and when I've tried to speak to her about what's going on, she judges me and says I'm being silly. all I really want is some support, understanding and for them to be here for me. I feel like I'm battling this on my own, and although it is my own battle, it would be nice to have my family beside me, to help me get through this time. I've had depression since may 2011, but its not constant, it comes and goes, everything just builds up until I can't take it anymore, and lately its been getting worse. I'm not sure how much more I can take. it's getting too hard. it's probably silly, and I probably sound like I'm asking for attention. but I'm not. I just want to be told I'm cared about and loved. the only thing I hear is "go see a doctor they'll make you better" or "I don't even know why you have depression, its like an excuse" my family thinks I put on an act, they don't understand, but then again, who does? we're living in this world, with so many questions, and not enough answers. its hard, I know ill most likely get through this. but there's only so much a person can take. its just getting too hard. thanks.

Catatonic I don't understand...
  • replies: 9

I don't understand this feeling... My life: I have a good job, beautiful children, a house, car, money etc. I should be happy... I should be smiling and loving life... I am now out of a DV relationship. But I am not, I struggle to get out of bed, I d... View more

I don't understand this feeling... My life: I have a good job, beautiful children, a house, car, money etc. I should be happy... I should be smiling and loving life... I am now out of a DV relationship. But I am not, I struggle to get out of bed, I don't feel happy. I feel worthless and pathetic, I have constant thoughts about how everyone would be better off without me here, I'm too gutless to do anything tho. My kids deserve better not this shell of a person I have become I am on Antidepressants and I am in counselling. But I don't feel any better. I can't see a way out of this black hole

moons It's slowly getting worse
  • replies: 1

Hello, I'm new to this website and would like to share some problems I've been having but first need to explain my situation. I was working overseas for the past 5 years where I was a principal of a school. I was busy, but overall happy with my job a... View more

Hello, I'm new to this website and would like to share some problems I've been having but first need to explain my situation. I was working overseas for the past 5 years where I was a principal of a school. I was busy, but overall happy with my job and making a good income. I've now come back to Australia and want to start living here. So i left my job and am now seeking employment as is my wife. Since I've come back, which was only 2 months ago, things have not gone to plan. My grandma passed away and I attended her funeral, I had an emotional argument with my mother the very next day. She attacked my wife, not physically, (she suffers from a mental illness) which has now led to my wife and I moving out and living in an apartment. In the meantime I've been rejected countless times for jobs after coming so close to landing one job in particular. I have had an episode about 5 years ago, where i lost a lot of weight and was not doing well, so i have a history of depression/anxiety, and i am afraid that it will come back. Today, i just felt so sad and hopeless. I cried for hours and could not control it. Sometimes i just feel lost and I am losing all my confidence that I developed in my previous job overseas. I am seeking help, though, I saw my GP and got a referral to a mental health professional that i will see later this week. I'm also trying to get involved in volunteer work and assistance from a career path professional. I know that doing these things will help but i suppose it is the waiting and worrying that is getting to me and my emotional response today made me worry more about my mental condition. I know i need to tell my wife, she does know about my condition, but she gets upset about it too and she then worries about me. I have started to think about death etc too, but have no intention about doing something about it, but if my feelings continue... I know people have much worse situations than me but i just need to talk about it... Thanks for listening...

Cf Feeling like it won't ever get better
  • replies: 1

I feel at the lowest point that i have ever been and I can't see it getting better. I don't know how much more I can take of this, it's all too much now.

I feel at the lowest point that i have ever been and I can't see it getting better. I don't know how much more I can take of this, it's all too much now.

isitjustme Screwed up in the head with emotions that I don't understand
  • replies: 4

Well I just don't know where to turn, so I thought I would just write here... I have come to the conclusion that it is easier to be that strong person than it is to be the broken person. I am struggling with myself with the tears and then being so an... View more

Well I just don't know where to turn, so I thought I would just write here... I have come to the conclusion that it is easier to be that strong person than it is to be the broken person. I am struggling with myself with the tears and then being so angry at myself for being the way I am feeling. My husband stays clear of me at the moment, and my kids just don't understand what is going on in my head. The only time he comes near me to comfort me is if I start to spell it out for him how I feel or if I burst into tears. He waits for me to spell it out that I hate myself!! It is hard enough to admit to myself that I am screwed up in the head with emotions that I don't understand. Then having to admit to others I am screwed up. All I know is that there is a part of me inside that is broken and it makes me sick to the stomach. Doctors on thursday can not come soon enough.

Scotty2013 Tired of trying to figure people out
  • replies: 2

F/ship are to hard when depressed!.. Not going to try to figure them out anymore, not taking it on.... what will be will be , going to spend more time on myself.....I'ts no wonder i like being alone, and in my own safety zone! I look at the window an... View more

F/ship are to hard when depressed!.. Not going to try to figure them out anymore, not taking it on.... what will be will be , going to spend more time on myself.....I'ts no wonder i like being alone, and in my own safety zone! I look at the window and all i see sometimes is HATE! thanks end of Rant. TC

purple Dont want to leave my haven
  • replies: 2

I have been diagnosed with severe depression and post traumatic stress disorder and thought I was coping fairly well until four months ago when I lost my job. I have been unable to gain employment of any kind since then and my condition is getting wo... View more

I have been diagnosed with severe depression and post traumatic stress disorder and thought I was coping fairly well until four months ago when I lost my job. I have been unable to gain employment of any kind since then and my condition is getting worse day by day. I'am currently living in a rented unit on my own, which has become my haven, it is so peaceful and beautiful, but because my financial situation has become almost non-existent I now find I have to move out to my daughter's house and stay with her and her family. Whilst I'am grateful to have somewhere to go, I don't want to leave my haven and I know I won't cope with living so far out of town. Some days all I want to do is sleep and doing the most basic of things has become incredibly hard to complete if at all. I feel as if I have lost total control over my life and feel as if there is no reason to try and carry on. I'am seeing a mental health professional and my local GP but all I want to do is find my way back into the light and out of the darkness which is overwhelming me.

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