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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 1

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Teddas Going off line
  • replies: 2

Hi all, am just posting this to say am going to disappear from posting for a little while. I know how caring people are on here and don't want people worrying. To be honest l am just spent, so tired of feeling like this. I suppose not sleeping since ... View more

Hi all, am just posting this to say am going to disappear from posting for a little while. I know how caring people are on here and don't want people worrying. To be honest l am just spent, so tired of feeling like this. I suppose not sleeping since Saturday night isn't helping but all l can say is l'm exhausted. Was sitting last night watching my 15yo daughter and 11yo son playing Xbox with my 'wife' sitting in a different room ignoring me ( well us l suppose ). Video games bore me so started cleaning old photos off my phone. Found some pics of the friend that now hates me. Nothing rude, just her blowing me a kiss etc. Started me on a downward spin. Started thinking the last time we were together was at a work friends wedding. We were invited as a cpl but it was a shocking night. Put my arm around her and she pushed it off, tried to hold her hand and she pulled away, wouldn't even dance with me. When we got home she put pillow and doona on the couch. By the time these memories had come flooding but l was sitting there in tears. Got up and went to bed but got worse. Lay there thinking if the two women l have had real feelings for in the past 22 years now think l am worthless maybe they are right. Tried thinking of my kids but that didn't help. Have a 20yo in Qld at uni that will never come home again because he can't handle the tension, l said l would fix it but can't so that's my fault. A 19yo who just puts his hand out and his mother gives him money, l can't make home see how he should act to be a good man. 15yo girl who won't speak with her mother and 11yo autistic son who only has one problem left. That is can't control his bowels and because l can't get myself together l keep forgetting his medicine. All feels like my fault. Lay in bed all night staring at the ceiling wondering what l have done wrong. If God only gives you what you can handle he must think l'm Hercules, and l'm not. I am sick of this feeling. I hate feeling alone and dont cope with it. I know there are people who care but the ones l want to don't or in my mother's case have passed away. I Don't get embarrassed about crying because do it so often, am while trying to type this. 10 years ago l would wake up and think away we go, take on the world. 5 years ago l would think, oh no here we go again.Now l wake and think bugger l woke up ! I talk to friends but seem to say the same thing over and over. Am stuck in this crappy circle but somehow get worse. I dont know how to stop it. Stop caring for the friend l saw a future with, the wife who obviously doesn't see anything there now. Feel like l just let everyone down. Sounds self indulgent but l use to be the person people looked up to, great marriage, great kids, always there to help and always having a laugh. God l miss that time and feel l am letting down all those people. I will be back on here soon l hope but if this is not rock bottom l hate to think it can get worse. Again l feel now l am letting you all down to. You are all stronger than you think at the moment, and can see from what l read you all learning and leaning on each other. Keep working on the baby steps and you can achieve things. Good luck xx

REnigmaK I'm so over life
  • replies: 2

I'm sick of this thing called life. I have done so much for my family over the years and all I have in return is a resume that won't get me a job. I haven't been in a relationship for years and can't find anyone who is actually interested in me. I'm ... View more

I'm sick of this thing called life. I have done so much for my family over the years and all I have in return is a resume that won't get me a job. I haven't been in a relationship for years and can't find anyone who is actually interested in me. I'm 30 and don't have children, medically unable to and yet in my culture it is extremely important for women to have children. I see everyone around me settling down with partners, having children, good jobs, a house and car. I have none of that and it pushes me further down into the depression hole. I have the kind of family that won't let go of me, allow me to establish my life, every time I try and get away, they pull me back into their toxic web. There is no longer a reason for my living except being their slave.

guest75 FINALLY some good(ish) news
  • replies: 2

Hi Guys, Today i arrived home from work and my mum tells me there is a letter on the bench for me. I go to the bench and see a letter with "DHS" on it. I immediately start to panic. I open the letter and it is informing me that DHS Child Protection w... View more

Hi Guys, Today i arrived home from work and my mum tells me there is a letter on the bench for me. I go to the bench and see a letter with "DHS" on it. I immediately start to panic. I open the letter and it is informing me that DHS Child Protection will no longer have anything to do with my family Surely that is a good thing, that the magistrate will take into account? Im finally starting to see some light at the end of this long dark tunnel. Finally, am i starting to get some small results from the work i have been doing? But then my pessimistic side decided to chime in. She told my mum DHS made her take out the IVO. DHS are no longer concerned, and she hasnt retracted it. What does that mean? that she really doesnt want anything to do with me anymore? My pessimistic side is annoying Matty

yeti Concerned, need advice and direction
  • replies: 3

Hi, I'm really glad I found this site/forum; from what I've read it is full of intelligent people with experience to share. At the moment I'm really concerned about my partner, and what action (if any) I should take. We've been together for about 4 y... View more

Hi, I'm really glad I found this site/forum; from what I've read it is full of intelligent people with experience to share. At the moment I'm really concerned about my partner, and what action (if any) I should take. We've been together for about 4 years and over the last 2 years she has been working in the mines, 5 weeks on, 1 week off. While we've done all we can, over the last 6 months things have been really flat in our relationship. She seems distant and displaced when shes home, and seems to have no interest in our relationship anymore; that she doesn't know who she is anymore and needs time alone. She already works in an isolated environment, I'm concerned more time alone isn't a good thing... I don't know if I should try and confront her about everything and bring it all to the table. She wakes up saying that there is no motivation to do anything and has no self-worth. While I think this depression has come up from the isolation of work, I also think there are some deeper issues with her family and childhood that exist. I really don't know the best course of action to take here, I'm genuinely worried, and want to do all I can. I really appreciate any advice or information anyone can refer. Thanks

lost_and_depressed I have lost my way
  • replies: 4

Like so many threads I have read, I am also new to this.I have so many things going wrong in my life, am not sure where to start. I know not as bad as some, but from my position I am sinking fast.I am a 36 yo male. married with 2 kids.I have suffered... View more

Like so many threads I have read, I am also new to this.I have so many things going wrong in my life, am not sure where to start. I know not as bad as some, but from my position I am sinking fast.I am a 36 yo male. married with 2 kids.I have suffered with depression for many years, I only recently realised this when I lost my job and went to counselling. I have been on medication for the past year, I have been on multiple types, but I feel nothing seems to be working. I have tried multiple counselors and psychologists and psychiatrists and GP's but feel that they are not listening to me, with some of them I am scared to say how I really feel as I am scared of being admitted to a Psych ward and loosing my job and family.I have a terrible blackness that follows me around, I can never seem to fully shake it and i always see the worst in people and myself. I know realise I have had this for many years but never new what it was and just thought everyone felt the way I did.I constantly think of committing suicide and have a couple of very detailed plans and have made a couple of attempts. When I have my worst days, about once a week, this seems like the most sensible and logical decision.I have always thought that I was a caring person and looked out for others especially those close to me. I have recently developed an uncontrollable rage and anger for the majority of instances I can not actually tell you what sets me off, but I go completely off the handle bars!my poor wife and kids have seen to much and she is threatening to leave me, which gets me angry. i have not hurt her or the kids and never would, when i calm down and reflect i think of what they witnessed i am ashamed. I do not know how to control it or where it came from or more so how to get rid of it.Any thoughts on finding my way or dealing with my anger would be greatly appreciatedAs I could not bear the thought of loosing my wife and kids, they are everything to me.beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Chris D change
  • replies: 3

Change, it can either be good or not so good. the change that i am starting to feel is good i think. As i listen to the song "Hall of Fame" on my phone, the lyrics in this song are truly inspiring they make me feel that i can do achieve what i want t... View more

Change, it can either be good or not so good. the change that i am starting to feel is good i think. As i listen to the song "Hall of Fame" on my phone, the lyrics in this song are truly inspiring they make me feel that i can do achieve what i want to achieve it makes me believe have self belief in myself. This song makes me feel that i am in the spotlight. After what i have experienced and still experience from time to time, i think i am starting to make some good in roads to becoming better. The path that i am on is a good one. it has it's fair share of bumps but there has been no road block to stop me. Not sure if i'm at crossroads and not sure what way to go, should i keep going in the same direction, or turn left or right? I still have my low patches and useless thoughts but they are not as frequent or as bad as what they have been in the past. I just don't know what way to go, now that i am at this intersection. Anyone who reads this thread, i ask you that you respond please with words of encouragement, because as i write this i am starting to feel flat, low and abit down. I know you will support me the best way you all know how in your own ways. I have faith in you all that you will all overcome our issues. I believe in you all. After writing all of this i now feel sad for some reason, don't ask me how or why because i don't know. To all of you, HAVE FAITH, HAVE BELIEF, STAND TALL, STAY STRONG, BE DEFIANT Kind Regards Chris

Mares73 Me & how r u? (5/1/14)
  • replies: 16

Hi allI've been thinking of many of you so I thought I'd start this thread for those who want to share & support each other today.I'm also having technical difficulty replying to posts so I'm not sure if its just me or a broader problem.I am alone th... View more

Hi allI've been thinking of many of you so I thought I'd start this thread for those who want to share & support each other today.I'm also having technical difficulty replying to posts so I'm not sure if its just me or a broader problem.I am alone this week-kids & husband in Melbourne. My pysch wanted me to make this a special wk I focused on myself & things I enjoyed but I'm struggling with that as usually I stay in house & avoid things. I have got some gift vouchers so I could go shops?I have been brave & contacted an old friend, a retiree who also suffered depression & he gave up on calling me as I never responded so I called him & we are having lunch tomorrow. So that's two activities or two days taken care of.Today I might read & hang out. Tues friend coming. We'd shops with vouchers.Now the dilemma-my mum wants to go a shopping outlet on Thursday which is just a big complex of discontinued items & then stay at her house. But my family return Friday night so I'd like to be here Friday to make house nice.I sound pathetic, minor issues-the real issues are the. Big anxiety battle I'm experiencing & having no one to talk to about that.Anyway that's me. Please update me if you can? Worried about some of you. And without any intention of leaving anyone out -Geoff, Jo, Neil, Teddas -I haven't been able to respond due to computer problems. But I'm also thinking of Matty, GA, stress less, Suz. Pete, Chris, Joey, 'what's the point, 'lost' & all those on this forum who I care for & think of each day.Anxiety & depression can completely invade our lives & like the discussion I read btw Neil, Teddas & Matty-it has completely changed my relationship & although I'm sure my husband loves me-I also know if it wasn't for the kids he would have left years ago. He often says my illness has destroyed any happiness in his life & after his recent battle with leukaemia-I'm heartbroken to be a "burden".I want him to have a good life as he has a rare form of leukaemia & only 25% of people survive 5 yrs. he has made nearly 3. He has a top specialist who isn't dramatic but is frank & honest & has told us my husbands leukaemia is extremely rare in adults & we have to accept that bone marrow treatments for him would almost definitely not work & it would be a matter of making him comfortable.He could try one more round of treatment but if/when the leukaemia comes back it will go straight to his brain, spine & bones so no real hope. It's called acute lymphoblastic leukaemia. Shortly before that I think I mentioned that my father who abused me committed syicide & that was devastating as he had left me a short note. And he died a lonely, homeless alcoholic living on the street drinking metho.I had compassion for him in the end-I wasn't afraid anymore-I saw him as a very sick, weak, depressed & desperate man who had nothing but inner turmoil that he couldn't live with.I've had awful bouts of depression where I can't face getting up & deciding what clothes to wear. Where I won't leave house & stay in Pjs for days not able to talk. It's terrible illness. But sometimes the anxiety feels worse-it puts thoughts in my head that I'm hopeless & can't do things. It keeps me stuck in one place. It makes my adrenalin levels on such high alert that I'm ready to jump through the window at any unexpected noise.My stomach is in knots & I forget to breathe normally. My body-shoulders & hands are clenched. It has a voice that invades my mind. It's a terrible thing to live with & one that no one I know understands or will read about-despite me getting them information.Oh gosh-this was meant for others to write about their day-I'm sorry-I really hope you can & you do. You are each in my thoughts. I wish I could hire the community hall & have morning tea dropping for those who would like to!!Lve Mary (Mares73) xxx

Chris D LIFE
  • replies: 2

I sit on my bed listening to a cd, i think about life and all the emotions and experiences people have during their own lives. We have ups and downs we get pulled sideways downwards and upwards but in the end we always come back to the same spot the ... View more

I sit on my bed listening to a cd, i think about life and all the emotions and experiences people have during their own lives. We have ups and downs we get pulled sideways downwards and upwards but in the end we always come back to the same spot the middle. I think of how people can be nice, caring friends and people in general and yet these same people can also be qiute the opposite. I had that experience yesterday with one of my friends. I was helping clean a friends house with her and then at approx 6.30pm we had a disagreement which then quickly turned into an argument. We have friends come and go throughout our lives, we have different homes we live in and different cars but their is one thing that we cannot replace and should not replace that being our own immediate families. We have our sibling squabbles, i certainly did with my sisters me being the youngest and only boy. I got up to mischief, followed dad up the ladder to the roof of the house and sat on the gutter with him when i was about 5, so of course mum took a picture of my dad and i sitting on the gutter with our legs dangling over the edge. After it would stop raining we would go outside and get a pile of muddie gravel and dirt mix together and throw it at eachother mum would then come out and say " go on you 3 to laundry now" she would put us in these 3 trash cans each on of them full of water to clean us off. I have just notice that the words in this thread haven't come out as the way i had hoped oh well. Everyone has the strength to get throught their own personal battles nomatter how hard the battles seem, we will all get them sorted in the end. We all come from different backgrounds, different life experiences growing up and yet we all have a common interest that is to believe, support, have faith in eachother, inspire and encourage everyone on this forum to overcome each of our own battles that we are currently facing. I believe and have faith in all of you, you just have to find that inner strength inside you then you start to overcome your own personal issues. We all converge here on BB, we have all come in from our own paths which have led us to Beyond Blue to express how we are feeling, our past expriences and to help. As i read over this thread i feel good but at the same time i feel down, i feel lonely, empty like something is missing inside. I don't know what is missing maybe because i'm not in a relationship. I don't know. I feel like this most days these days. It's weird to have 2 completely different feelings at the same time. If anyone replies can you send a hug please. Kind Regards Chris

anonymous39948828 I've managed to alienate my best friend
  • replies: 4

I have suffered on and off with depression for a while. I've been really good for almost ten years, now after being unemployed for a bit over a year I've hit a slump. I managed to stay positive for most of this time, then all of a sudden everything's... View more

I have suffered on and off with depression for a while. I've been really good for almost ten years, now after being unemployed for a bit over a year I've hit a slump. I managed to stay positive for most of this time, then all of a sudden everything's a struggle. I don't get out much, I can't sleep a whole lot. I don't see many of my friends cause most of them have moved out of area, the friends I do have left I find myself pushing them away. Now to top it all off I have managed to alienate my best friend, the last person I would of wanted to push away, I don't know how to fix it or even if it can be fixed, I'm pretty sure I've done some irreparable damage. Most of the time I feel like maybe I can pull through but the night's are the worst, I can't sleep and everything just gets magnified in my head and my thinking starts going to some scary places. When it comes to talking about it out loud it seems stupid, my problems aren't that big of a deal, in comparison many people have more to struggle with then I do, I don't know what to do or how to fix/stop it.

Girl_Anachronism Going out with the tide
  • replies: 24

I'm not sure what the point of this post is or if it will even mak sesne. There is jumble of emotions in me..I'm not sure where to start. We went to the beach yesterday. It was too rough to swim but I stood in the shoreline, feeling the waves crash i... View more

I'm not sure what the point of this post is or if it will even mak sesne. There is jumble of emotions in me..I'm not sure where to start. We went to the beach yesterday. It was too rough to swim but I stood in the shoreline, feeling the waves crash into my legs and leaning down, feeling the drag as the water was pulled back out again. All the water, pulled by a huge nameless force that we humans are forced to bow befoe it. The day had been ok. I even let loose a few unconscious squeals of happiness as the water first brushed my legs, cold at first and then later the only place that felt warm. My husband lay behind me up the beach, hidden under a towel (he's red headed- him going to the beach for even ten minutes is like begging for a sunburn). Yet, sitting in the waves, feeling them go in and pull out, all I could think of was how easy it would be to just let go. Stop digging my self in the sand and let the tide take me. Where when I would go I don't care. Just away from here. Away from me. I don't like me at the moment. I donlt like this house. I don't like the tree outside my window. I don't like; I don't want any of this. It's so hard to fight. It's so easy to let go. Can't I just let go? I'm so tired of fighting. So tired of all of this. GA