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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Elsie77 Are things really that bad or is it just more depression distorting my thoughts?
  • replies: 4

I'm in a low I can't shift after the lack of thought or effort from my partner for my 40th birthday yesterday. Our kids weren't taken to buy me a present. No card. I would have liked a card and flowers. My present came last night after I expressed di... View more

I'm in a low I can't shift after the lack of thought or effort from my partner for my 40th birthday yesterday. Our kids weren't taken to buy me a present. No card. I would have liked a card and flowers. My present came last night after I expressed disappointment in the morning. But it came with a complaint about how expensive it was and I can't bring myself to use it. I think I've missed a few meds. Maybe that explains my feelings.

ricky84 I look in the mirror and don't even recognise myself anymore
  • replies: 4

Not sure if this is the right place to post this but here goes. After graduating School I suffered severe depression. I was bullied in school and mistreated at home. I've always had a large problem with self-esteem, always feeling people are laughing... View more

Not sure if this is the right place to post this but here goes. After graduating School I suffered severe depression. I was bullied in school and mistreated at home. I've always had a large problem with self-esteem, always feeling people are laughing at me etc. My family have always put pressure on me to have a successful career. After leaving school all of this pressure and my self-esteem issues put my life in a spiral. I was not able to get a job which isolated me and caused me to lose contact with friends. My family also did not understand. Then a miracle happened and I got a job which I was good at and enjoyed for 10 years (I'm now 33). I was able to purchase a house and adopt a cat whom I adore. Although I had issues I built a life for myself. This changed in 2015. I got a new job in my organisation. Unfortunately what I was told the role required me to do and the reality and expectations of the job were different. Upon trying to speak to family and friends about how I felt they didn't understand. This has isolated me and I've lost contact with friends and most family. I have a sister who has tried her best to help. Every day gets worse. The stress from my job started causing severe depression. I often cry at work and as soon as I finish work I burst into tears and often cry until I fall asleep. I have a lot of trouble sleeping. I was once active and would go to the gym 5-6 times a week but now I can't. I no longer see my nieces I don't want them to see me like this. My sisters say that my nieces ask about me and get upset that they don't see me anymore which makes me sad. I know that the way that I am upsets my sister so I try to not talk to her anymore as I don't want her life to be ruined because of me. Due to my low self-esteem I've attached my self-worth to my career and if I don’t have this career I'm worthless. I feel that I'm pigeon-holed into this line of work I hate. Even if I could get another job I feel I will fail. I will lose my house and lose my cat who I feel is the only one who loves me the way I am. I have discovered problems with my house but am too scared to spend the money to fix them which is adding to the stress. I'm lonely and can’t find enjoyment in anything. I'm stuck in this dark hole and feel there's no way out. Writing this or reaching out for help has been hard. I don't want to die but I hate this. I hate the way I feel and I hate myself. I look in the mirror and don't even recognise myself anymore.

Confused_70 Depression? Mental Illness? What is going on?
  • replies: 10

Hi All, New here. I am not even sure if this should go in this section or relationships. I had been seeing this man for about 18 months now. He has always been very reserved and quiet. He never really laughed or expressed any emtions really. I found ... View more

Hi All, New here. I am not even sure if this should go in this section or relationships. I had been seeing this man for about 18 months now. He has always been very reserved and quiet. He never really laughed or expressed any emtions really. I found it very hard to get close to him or really get to know him at all. A few months in i noticed he was even more withdrawn then usual. He said that he just gets like that sometimes and he doesn't know why. He doesnt want to see anyone and doesn't even want to speak to his family and just wants to be on his own. When i met him i thought we would relate because I am fairly quiet too. However I do open up to people I care about after a time. When i would try to have a conversation with him he would sometimes even come across as annoyed. It was like pulling teeth really. I can say in 18 months i really didnt get to know him at all. Almost like he was completely shut down and void of emotions. And couldnt have a conversation - I dont know if if it is because he just cant be bothered or he doesnt see how strange that was, or if other things are going on. A few weeks ago he broke up with me. I hadn't seen him for a few weeks in person. But we had been messaging as usual and seemed fine. Then a few weeks ago he just said he can't really be bothered with the relationship anymore and was sorry, didnt want to hurt me, etc etc. I really don't understand him at all. Someone who really has no close friends at all. Doesnt speak to his family really. We went to his relative house a few times and his sister would try and talk to him, just general chit chat, and he would just reply with one word answers and he would just look bored. He never made any effort to get to know my family. Would only say hello. Has anyone met anyone like this before? Is it extreme depression? Mental Illness? I have no idea. It's all very strange.

BS Tired
  • replies: 2

I just want to talk to someone. I feel so lonely. I just want to connect with someone.

I just want to talk to someone. I feel so lonely. I just want to connect with someone.

thoughtscollide What do you do when you are depressed and burnt out??
  • replies: 6

So, what do you do when you feel like that? I am trying to get a job but it is a bit hard when the industry you worked in for so long is the one that I burnt out in. Do I just go back to it? I haven't worked since January. I have put uni on hold whil... View more

So, what do you do when you feel like that? I am trying to get a job but it is a bit hard when the industry you worked in for so long is the one that I burnt out in. Do I just go back to it? I haven't worked since January. I have put uni on hold while I deal with my depression, and adopt ways to cope with it. It is starting to get to me - I have bills stacking up. My partner is working but she has bills and stuff as well. Plus, I don't expect her to look after me. I have tried centrelink just for the interim, until I get back on my feet again. They can't help me. It just makes me wonder what people do? I don't even know if I am making sense in all of this. It is not that I don't want to work. It is just with how I am feeling, it is difficult. I know that it is not permanent but I am wondering what to do in the interim?

Wolvesinwolvesclothing Monkey on my back
  • replies: 2

New to these forums and first time posting. Found this page tonight when having a 'I'm completely swallowed again' breakdown by myself while my partner sleeps soundly. But that's exactly it. It's like it's always waiting there, it slowly swallows me.... View more

New to these forums and first time posting. Found this page tonight when having a 'I'm completely swallowed again' breakdown by myself while my partner sleeps soundly. But that's exactly it. It's like it's always waiting there, it slowly swallows me. It may be a year or two in between breakdowns but it is always there. Like a monkey on my back. With everyone of my smiles, there is pain? On the good days, i feel happy and greatful with my life. Genuinely happy, but rest assured just like walking past a window and getting a quick glimpse of something, it's there, always. Waiting to swallow me again when it's too much. Its like I'm disconnected, unfulfilled, constantly, even though I know I shouldn't be. Its like something is always missing. It's like those days when Im feeling good Im wearing a different skin and when I get in private I peel back the mask and just sink back into my disconnected, sad self? I tutned 30 last month and this has been my life for as long as I can remember. Is this depression? Is that my monkey? I'm exhausted. Will it ever go. Will I ever be normal

N_H Depressed
  • replies: 2

Depressed and lonely

Depressed and lonely

ClicheOnlineAlias Sudden disruptive depressive episode
  • replies: 5

I want to open up about this so here I go. Things have been going pretty well lately. I've been adjusting to a new university which has been challenging but fulfilling. Yesterday I had a pretty unpleasant day. I had three major failures during the da... View more

I want to open up about this so here I go. Things have been going pretty well lately. I've been adjusting to a new university which has been challenging but fulfilling. Yesterday I had a pretty unpleasant day. I had three major failures during the day, the last was the worst. I won't get into detail as most people would regard it as a silly minor mistake, but the last one hit me extremely hard emotionally, to the extent that it still effects me now. It has triggered a sudden depressive episode, the worst that I've had in years. Last night I was a mess and this morning I'm not much better. I feel exhausted, physically and mentally drained. It's only the third week into the semester and I feel like I need a long holiday. My plans for today have fallen apart and I can't afford this lapse, I have work that I need to keep on top of but I can't find the willpower to leave my house. It's so tempting to stay home as lectures are not compulsory to attend. University is all I have going on in my life and when I lose motivation to pursue and study the subjects that I am supposed to love I feel lost, as though my life suddenly has no meaning. I don't know what to do when I lose all motivation to continue building my life. My mood is also changing as I write this. It builds to the point of stability, to the casual mundane level that I experience every day but I can feel that it is founded on the edge of a precipice that I could fall into at any point while in public. I fear that any minor grievance that I experience while out could devastate me. I don't really know what I'm asking or seeking with this post. I'm uncomfortable sharing my problems with strangers and I find it difficult to articulate the precise point or purpose that I'm trying to centre this post around. I only know that this is the easiest venue I have for releasing a burden that I'd otherwise keep contained and silent.

Bella-Rose Ashamed
  • replies: 2

My problems start from a young age. I was an only child growing up in the middle of the bush. My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 6 ( at this stage i was aware something was wrong but i was never told why ) when i was 7 I was told I ha... View more

My problems start from a young age. I was an only child growing up in the middle of the bush. My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 6 ( at this stage i was aware something was wrong but i was never told why ) when i was 7 I was told I had to stay with my aunty while my parents went away for work, when really my mum was dying, it wasn't till I was at school the next day and was picked up in the morning and told she had died that I even knew mum was sick and so I was raised by my dad. I don't have any close family other than him. When I turned 16 I got a dog named bella and I know this is going to sound stupid but I loved her to peices. When I was sad or lonely I always had her. Just before my 25th birthday I was going to fly home so I could see her as I moved away from my dad. I hadn't seen her in 3 years and it was the one thing I needed. A week before my flight my Bella died suddenly and it felt like my whole world fell apart right then and there. I felt so much guilt for not being there when she needed me most and I think that triggered alot of my messed up feelings because it was the same way I had felt when my mum passed because I wasn't there. My dad now lives alone and never re-married. I always worry about him because my Bella isn't there to keep him company. I also worry about my future as I have no family but him and no close friends I could talk to or could open up to. My boyfriend isnt the nicest person and dosent understand why im always down. Sadly were only stuck together still because of financial probelms. (I come home and lock myself in the bathroom and cry before he gets home because I don't want him to yell at me) I always feel so stressed and completely overwhelmed. Im just a big mess of emotions to be honest and I just don't know how to cope anymore. I'm tired of being exhausted and sad and always hurting on the inside while I put on and act for everyone else.

Countrymusicgirl Emotionally burnt out/ breakdown at work/ work place counseling
  • replies: 2

On Sunday, I had a breakdown day work. Im not focused, I'm lacking motivation, I'm tired the list goes on. I've had this before- emotionally burntout. So I lost it emotionally where I couldn't talk to people, couldn't talk to other staff without want... View more

On Sunday, I had a breakdown day work. Im not focused, I'm lacking motivation, I'm tired the list goes on. I've had this before- emotionally burntout. So I lost it emotionally where I couldn't talk to people, couldn't talk to other staff without wanting to cry. ​I've now noticed I'm since sunday- im drinking, my insomnia has hit a new extreme (no sleep), I want to distance myself from work so I'm rocking up late so I don't get to say hi to people etc. I'm now a walking zombie. Like I'm lacking something. Now above the rosters- is an information about work place counselling- work pays only get 4 sessions. I'm in between psychologist since the last one left. Even though I love my boss I can't go up to him and go hey can take advantage of this counselling? My boss isn't a stupid person - he knows there's something that clicked over in my head. He asked me how I'm doing I said fine. He didn't believe me.