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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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scarley I don't like who I am
  • replies: 1

Hi, I'm new to this thing but I really need somewhere to vent, I just want to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way. Im 22 years old, I'm a girl and My whole life I've just felt like a failure, a nobody. I never knuckled down and concentrated p... View more

Hi, I'm new to this thing but I really need somewhere to vent, I just want to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way. Im 22 years old, I'm a girl and My whole life I've just felt like a failure, a nobody. I never knuckled down and concentrated properly in school because I hated being there. I felt as though nobody really liked me, like I was constantly being made fun of behind my back. I worried about my appearance and wether I'd be bullied about my big nose, my goofy teeth or if my voice sounded weird. I look at my younger sister who is so beautiful, confident and smart and I can't help but feel like such a failure. I have never been outgoing or confident and it effects how I now perform at my job, how I am with my friends, I just feel so dumb and scared of people all the time. Sometimes I go out of my way to avoid people, I always cancel on plans last minute because I freak out and overthink things. I can't even talk to strangers without mixing up my words or getting red faced and clammy. I look at myself in the mirror and I cannot stand what I see. I feel as though everyone around me are doing great things with their lives and I'm just stuck in this deep pit with no way out. I do not like who I've become and it makes me feel so low that I have come this far and not gotten any better. I feel as though no matter how hard I try to fix myself, I'll never feel good enough. I don't know what to do anymore, I wish I could change.

hopeless_amp_helpless I've tried everything and nothing works long term, i don't know what to do now????
  • replies: 15

Hi there,I feel likethere is no hope for me to treat my depression. I've been on countless Anti-Depressants for the last few years but they only last for a few months & I have to go back to my Psychiatrist and increase the dosage or change to another... View more

Hi there,I feel likethere is no hope for me to treat my depression. I've been on countless Anti-Depressants for the last few years but they only last for a few months & I have to go back to my Psychiatrist and increase the dosage or change to another type. This was not only emotionally draining but also financially as it costs around $250 each time I see my Psychiatrist. Thankfully my Mum helped me out on several occasions to pay the fees coz I can't afford it on my own.This cycle was going on for a couple of years but I would continue to get bad bouts of depression at least once a month. I suggested to my Psychiatrist that I might have Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) which is a condition where a woman has severe depression symptoms, irritability, and tension before menstruation so we tried medication for that also but again it didn't work. I was also taking something to help me sleep which lasted about a year but then it stopped. I wouldn't sleep for days and I would be absolutely exhausted at work. I'd go through my day like a zombie. I got so desperate, I resorted to over the counter sleeping pills to help me sleep but again, they didn't really work. In May this year, I went to Peru to try an extreme form of alternative therapy. This was my last resort to get help and during the 2 weeks I was there and for about a month after, I felt amazing. I really felt like something had shifted in me and I was happy, energetic and enthusiastic about life again.Now this feeling of elation has worn off and I am right back to where I was before, feeling depressed, crying all the time, no motivation or energy to do anything and not wanting to socialise with people. I'm also not sleeping again. I haven't been on any medication for just over 11 weeks but I don't want to go back on Anti-Depressants again & start that cycle all over again.I've seen 3 Psychologists which was helpful at the time but as soon as my 10 sessions were over, it's like I forgot everything I had learned or something.I know I need help but I don't know what else to try? I don't want it to get to the stage where I am attempting suicide again, which I've tried three times, 2 earlier this year. I have my Mum to talk to but she can't really offer any advice & I don't have any friends, I pushed them all away & I don't want to burden anyone. I just ended a friendship with my ex coz I don't want to put him through more crap Please help I' m desperate....

Wrenny So down so worthless
  • replies: 4

I feel so negative and I feel as though I'm such a waste of a life just spreading negativity aroudn to everyone around me. I just need somewhere to vent, so sorry if im bringing anyone down too... I'm feeling so worthless..hopeless... does anyone fee... View more

I feel so negative and I feel as though I'm such a waste of a life just spreading negativity aroudn to everyone around me. I just need somewhere to vent, so sorry if im bringing anyone down too... I'm feeling so worthless..hopeless... does anyone feel that way? It seems like everyone around me has their life together and I've been left behind. My parents always confirm their regrets for having me. It hurts ofcourse, but I agree with them. Sometimes I wish i weren't born so i didn't have to make them so miserable. I wish I could just vanish into thin air. The only person I seemed to connect with for a while was my sister, but all of a sudden she's turned her back on me. It feels cold. I feel do lonely. Im connected to do many people on facebook but why do I feel this way. I would consider myself 'normal' in frontof my friends but it just feels so tiring. I'm rambling. My thoughts are a mess. I'm sure this made no sense. Sorry if you've read through it all. I've just wasted so much of your precious time. Sorry. I just needed someone or something to talk to.

Lost_drifter Press post this time
  • replies: 4

I've been Writing for days but just can't press post. Maybe this time? So hard to share this. The find it hard to talk about. just so tired of everything and it seems I'm spending a lot of time fighting to keep going but, you know, now I'm tired. I c... View more

I've been Writing for days but just can't press post. Maybe this time? So hard to share this. The find it hard to talk about. just so tired of everything and it seems I'm spending a lot of time fighting to keep going but, you know, now I'm tired. I can't cope with it like this. I'm worn out. I worry I'm getting weaker. I usually walk sometimes an hour or more when I'm getting bad, 2 or 3 times a day some days, to try and get away from house. That helps sometimes. Not tonight. I'm in a dark room shaking, crying just feeling pressure from everything. I can't tell my family I'm not I'm just shaking more at the thought. I go to my doc with serious health problems but can't get the courage to tell him about this. Sit there with my phone and numbers but just can't ring. I know I need help I know I do but I don't know why i can't ask. how do I ask for help? I know who but can't get the courage. Small town so not a lot of help here. I just need to take the step. Maybe this time will be the next step?

white knight Depression, is it rocket science?
  • replies: 1

Well it is in some ways otherwise we’d have a magic pill and no need for the psychiatric profession. That’s because we are all unique, no brain the same and no lifestyle identical. But if we leave that aside for those professionals , everything else ... View more

Well it is in some ways otherwise we’d have a magic pill and no need for the psychiatric profession. That’s because we are all unique, no brain the same and no lifestyle identical. But if we leave that aside for those professionals , everything else to do with our depression is standard stuff, some things harder than others to process. Some “standard” things are often overlooked. I have a friend that said yesterday “yes, I know” and “yeh, I suppose you’re right” but taking that step to the next stepping stone is often never taken. "It's too hard". Basically improvement for your depression (you might know more ideas?) are- proper diagnosis (very important lets not undermine that but denial is still a problem), treatment including medication and professional care/therapy, sleep a minimum of 8 hours, diet and exercise, relaxation by multiple means eg classes, muscle tensioning exercises, music, holidays, lifestyle changes some being radical (google- Topic: be radical- beyondblue), seeking peace by spiritual harmony (Google- Topic: inner peace, the glory of being YOU). Your goals- to function, to seek basic happiness, to be realistic. That’s basics. Then there are some particular topics to address in my view that are essential- putting in personal boundaries (Topic: fortress of survival- beyondblue), Building confidence, avoiding toxic people and identifying your triggers (Topic: depression triggers- beyondblue) So if these are mostly logical steps why the need to list them? Because in my own experience and observing loved ones with their journey of life with MI they aren‘t obvious to us. Also our mind doesn’t spit out obvious remedies. We read here daily, members asking these basic questions of what they can do. Being mentally ill often results in learning the hard way. But that way can result in arriving at a black hole and not recovering, it isn’t ideal is it?. Use self help ideas from those that have been there. Birds of a feather think together. The “cake” of Mental illness has many wedges to recovery. Just medication from diagnosis is a great start, ongoing therapy is another essential slice but without all the other basic self help pieces of the cake you are only consuming a portion of the cake. Eat the full cake, approach depression in a calm methodical and persistent manner for the best possible chance at a better life taking into account any suggestion that can help you. Have you got self help ideas? Post please. Tony WK

white knight Depression triggers
  • replies: 6

One week ago it happened. A neighbour is a good mate but his wife, a nurse, had her matron hat on when they visited. Cutting words found their target and once left it was like my brain was being squeezed. I had no control over my mood so, as I usuall... View more

One week ago it happened. A neighbour is a good mate but his wife, a nurse, had her matron hat on when they visited. Cutting words found their target and once left it was like my brain was being squeezed. I had no control over my mood so, as I usually did, l just allowed the depressive cycle to run its course. Nobody can help me...but me. I knew not to "fight" it. I also knew not to let myself slide away so l continued with my daily tasks. This time though l wrote out some stickies with the words "remember when its good, that good will return"...and stuck them everywhere, the garage, my car, my office and my bedside table. When in our cycle we dont think it will end so we think negatively and although I've not in 20 years gone down the path l did then of two steps from self destruction, l do, while in these cycles...think about it. Why? Because I'm low. It's a hollow sad feeling of helplessness that my good wife can only hold my hand to help.. we watch the Rosella's feeding, the wild ducks land in our dam and l smile but my laughing was on hold until two hours ago. Two hours ago l walked into my garage and read my sticky..."remember when its good...." l knew l had come out of my cycle and life was good again. One week is a long cycle for me, I'm a 3 day guy nowadays, and pre medicine was a two week guy. At 61yo I'm the result of a narcissistic mother that had all the ingredients for dominance, manipulation and expectation. Nurturing was certainly there but it wasnt enough. So bossy, dominant people often women, triggers my episodes. If they point their finger and demand you comply then that will trigger it. Knowing a trigger is wonderful. One can work on it to avoid it. Our neighbours came over today. I was quieter, still talking but l had a lump in my emotional throat. My mates wife had no reason to repeat her actions of the week before so the visit went well. Of course the price l paid for harmony was l was not fully myself. As a sufferer that's studied my triggers, l believe most times I'm triggered after becoming sensitive for a few days. I'm learning and its productive. Learning about yourself sounds stupid. But we cannot rely only on meds, psych visits, friends and family to fix us. We have to gently assess ourselves to seek out the pattern as to what sparks the depressive session. Only then will we be able to act upon it. And dont forget those sticky notes..."remember when it's good, that good will return".... Tony WK

IronKitty Depression Buddies.
  • replies: 4

Hey All, I am new here, I haven't ever used something like this before but I just need someone to talk to who actually understands what depression is like. This maybe a long shot, but I was hoping to find someone on here to keep in contact with and b... View more

Hey All, I am new here, I haven't ever used something like this before but I just need someone to talk to who actually understands what depression is like. This maybe a long shot, but I was hoping to find someone on here to keep in contact with and be able to talk to, essentially a friend. But unlike all my other friends, I need someone who I can actually tell of my past and of my current experiences of depression. I tend to keep a lot of people at arms length because I am always deathly afraid they're going to reject me or leave anyway, so I guess using the internet to me seems slightly safer (although posting this is making me feel extremely anxious still). I wondering if anyone else was looking or needed a friendship like this? Looking forward to any responses.

Elsie77 Are things really that bad or is it just more depression distorting my thoughts?
  • replies: 4

I'm in a low I can't shift after the lack of thought or effort from my partner for my 40th birthday yesterday. Our kids weren't taken to buy me a present. No card. I would have liked a card and flowers. My present came last night after I expressed di... View more

I'm in a low I can't shift after the lack of thought or effort from my partner for my 40th birthday yesterday. Our kids weren't taken to buy me a present. No card. I would have liked a card and flowers. My present came last night after I expressed disappointment in the morning. But it came with a complaint about how expensive it was and I can't bring myself to use it. I think I've missed a few meds. Maybe that explains my feelings.

ricky84 I look in the mirror and don't even recognise myself anymore
  • replies: 4

Not sure if this is the right place to post this but here goes. After graduating School I suffered severe depression. I was bullied in school and mistreated at home. I've always had a large problem with self-esteem, always feeling people are laughing... View more

Not sure if this is the right place to post this but here goes. After graduating School I suffered severe depression. I was bullied in school and mistreated at home. I've always had a large problem with self-esteem, always feeling people are laughing at me etc. My family have always put pressure on me to have a successful career. After leaving school all of this pressure and my self-esteem issues put my life in a spiral. I was not able to get a job which isolated me and caused me to lose contact with friends. My family also did not understand. Then a miracle happened and I got a job which I was good at and enjoyed for 10 years (I'm now 33). I was able to purchase a house and adopt a cat whom I adore. Although I had issues I built a life for myself. This changed in 2015. I got a new job in my organisation. Unfortunately what I was told the role required me to do and the reality and expectations of the job were different. Upon trying to speak to family and friends about how I felt they didn't understand. This has isolated me and I've lost contact with friends and most family. I have a sister who has tried her best to help. Every day gets worse. The stress from my job started causing severe depression. I often cry at work and as soon as I finish work I burst into tears and often cry until I fall asleep. I have a lot of trouble sleeping. I was once active and would go to the gym 5-6 times a week but now I can't. I no longer see my nieces I don't want them to see me like this. My sisters say that my nieces ask about me and get upset that they don't see me anymore which makes me sad. I know that the way that I am upsets my sister so I try to not talk to her anymore as I don't want her life to be ruined because of me. Due to my low self-esteem I've attached my self-worth to my career and if I don’t have this career I'm worthless. I feel that I'm pigeon-holed into this line of work I hate. Even if I could get another job I feel I will fail. I will lose my house and lose my cat who I feel is the only one who loves me the way I am. I have discovered problems with my house but am too scared to spend the money to fix them which is adding to the stress. I'm lonely and can’t find enjoyment in anything. I'm stuck in this dark hole and feel there's no way out. Writing this or reaching out for help has been hard. I don't want to die but I hate this. I hate the way I feel and I hate myself. I look in the mirror and don't even recognise myself anymore.

Confused_70 Depression? Mental Illness? What is going on?
  • replies: 10

Hi All, New here. I am not even sure if this should go in this section or relationships. I had been seeing this man for about 18 months now. He has always been very reserved and quiet. He never really laughed or expressed any emtions really. I found ... View more

Hi All, New here. I am not even sure if this should go in this section or relationships. I had been seeing this man for about 18 months now. He has always been very reserved and quiet. He never really laughed or expressed any emtions really. I found it very hard to get close to him or really get to know him at all. A few months in i noticed he was even more withdrawn then usual. He said that he just gets like that sometimes and he doesn't know why. He doesnt want to see anyone and doesn't even want to speak to his family and just wants to be on his own. When i met him i thought we would relate because I am fairly quiet too. However I do open up to people I care about after a time. When i would try to have a conversation with him he would sometimes even come across as annoyed. It was like pulling teeth really. I can say in 18 months i really didnt get to know him at all. Almost like he was completely shut down and void of emotions. And couldnt have a conversation - I dont know if if it is because he just cant be bothered or he doesnt see how strange that was, or if other things are going on. A few weeks ago he broke up with me. I hadn't seen him for a few weeks in person. But we had been messaging as usual and seemed fine. Then a few weeks ago he just said he can't really be bothered with the relationship anymore and was sorry, didnt want to hurt me, etc etc. I really don't understand him at all. Someone who really has no close friends at all. Doesnt speak to his family really. We went to his relative house a few times and his sister would try and talk to him, just general chit chat, and he would just reply with one word answers and he would just look bored. He never made any effort to get to know my family. Would only say hello. Has anyone met anyone like this before? Is it extreme depression? Mental Illness? I have no idea. It's all very strange.